Garfield League of America Chapter Eight: Cosmic Odyssey! The Long Journey Home!
Back on Earth it was the endless end of days. The army of Dark Knights had reached Metropolis, the final standing city of resistance in America, the last place where the sun still shined. For a long time it had endured a siege by the forces of the Batman but every day more men died and moracle crumbled.
Finally on the Seventh Day of the Seventh Month the walls of Metropolis collapsed and a Bat-Horde Out of Hell rushed in and flooded the streets with blood. Men women and children all died as they trampled over one another in a mad frenzy to escape but there was nowhere to escape for the Shadow of the Bat fell over everything.
"BLOOD BLOOD MORE BLOOD AND SOULS FOR BARBATOS." Batman cackled with wicked frenzy as he charged at the forefront of his army hacking down everyone in his path. Living Batmobiles and Batplanes mowed down crowds like bowling pins while the Dark Knights fed on the flesh of the fallen like vultures. Batman's aerial Man-Bat force, mutated and brainwashed prisoners forcibly injected with Dr. Langstrom's Man-Bat serum, darkened the skies and exploded anyone trying to escape by air.
With Metropolis falling, Batman knew it was time and he activated one of his satellite dishes which began sending signals into space.
"The sun will never shine again. Not even on TV." Said Batman with diabolical chuckling as he adjusted the position of dead superheroes like Martian Manhunter and Green Arrow who had come out of hiding to try to stop him heads on pike.
A giant Bat-made planet that was larger than even Jupiter moved into position. So large it was that it grinded Mars in its wake into red dust, and blew the moon out of axis throwing the tides into pandemonium. Not even the other planets were safe and were destroyed all the way to Uranus. Fragments of Uranus and more fell onto Earth, razing the landscape where they fell.
"These are Earth's final days." Said Lois Lane with heavy heart as she typed away at story in the Daily Planet building, determined journalist of Pulitzer winnign to the end. "It may be selfish of me but I almost am glad that Clark Kent is dead so that he did not have to witness mankind's humiliation and doom."
"It is just as selfish of you just to put your life on line to get news out! You do no good if you are dead!" Begged Jimmy Olsen the Photoboy as he tugged at Lois Lane's sleeve. "Besides you know that Batman will just have it censored and labeled as Fake News anyhow!"
Lois Lane knew that Jimmy Olsen was right because Batman had taken control over the entire Internet through his arcane tech ally Oracle. Everyone who had logged onto computer that day had become brainwashed instantly by the Oracle Wave.
"Fine Jimmy I wish I could have editor go over it but I am done now." Lois Lane said with regretful perfectionism and grabbed her things. She and Jimmy Olsen ran to the fire escape but as Jimmy Olsen opened the door he looked down and saw Batblade sticking right out of his chest.
"No it cannot end like this." Jimmy Olsen said as he started to feel his soul go into Batman's warped existence. The Batman only leered madly.
"You are a pathetic weakling." Batman taunted Jimmy Olsen as he twisted his sword. "I should end you quickly but I think I will draw this out and make you suffer just for kicks."
"Goodbye Lois Lane you and Superman were my best friends and like parents I never had." Jimmy Olsen said with good-byes tearfully before forcing himself into defiant grin and began beating Batman with his camera. "Run Lois Lane I will try to hold Batman off as long as I can! If you can live my death will be worth it."
Lois Lane shut her eyes and tried not to look back as she ran through the abandoned Daily Planet building looking for alternative escape.
Just as Lois Lane neared another exit it was exploded open by Damien Wayne the Robin and his division of Dark Knights. Robin rode in on a red monster beast Goliath and held by him on leashes were forcibly-experimented and mutated animals gone rabid with killing fever such as Bathound, Batcat, and Batcow.
"Well well if it is not Lois Lane! My father wants you alive but I am sure he will not mind if I have fun with you first!" Said Robin with terrible infant desiers and he barked orders to his men. "Hold her down my Dark Knights!"
Lois Lane reached into her bag and pulled out a .38 Colt, her hand shaking. But before anything could happen, Perry White rushed in and with brass knuckles wrapped in American Flag punched Damien Wayne and his hellish pet army with such power they flew all the way to the West Coast.
"Do not worry about me, Lois Lane." Perry White said with Captain Going Down responsibility. "As long as one of us lives the integrity of good news journalism will burn forever. Now run!"
"No Perry White it is hopeless you cannot defeat them all!" Lois Lane cried as the Dark Knights began to mob Perry White. Without breaking a sweat, Perry White pounded them down wave by wave with kung fu.
"Lois Lane are you not one who say that hope nevre dies? Before I was Perry White newsman of integrity I was Perry White heavyweight champion of the world. This will be good end for me, saving life of best reporter I ever knew." Perry White and Lois Lane exchanged silent nod of respect before Lois Lane ran out into the street and Perry White cracked his knuckles and beckoned for the next Dark Knight to attack.
Lois Lane was about to reach the edge of city when suddenly Red Hood swooped in on his motorbike and knocked her into gutter.
"Sorry Miss Lane but this lane is closed to traffic." Red Hood mocked Lois Lane and kicked her while she was down.
"Batman will definitely be seeing you now." Red Robin added as he walked up to Lois Lane and with his shockstaff tazed her unconscious.
Meanwhile back on Apokolips Garfield woke up next to the sleeping Big Barda. For once in his life after romantic conquest he was feeling twinge of feeling called guilty. He looked at Big Barda, listened to her gentle breathing that belied the ferocity and nuclera energy that she brought to bed.
Statuesque and powerful brunette woman, just like Wonder Woman. Was this what this was, Garfield trying to find cheap replacement for the woman he had lost? These were the thoughts of cowards, not men. Garfield shook those thoughts ooutf his head. He was always drifter and ronin, moving from one woman to next in every adventure, why should Wonder Woman be any different.
Still Garfield was troubled and he left Big Barda letter before getting dressed and meeting with Orion and Mister Miracle in courtyard.
"Slept well I trust?" Mister Miracle asked Garfield and Garfield nodded.
"Are you sure you do not want Darkseid's weapons?" Orion asked as he held up the Gauntlet and Eye of Anti-Life from the last chapter. "Fight against Batman will be perilous road."
"I will not become a demon. No matter what else happens." Said Garfield with final rejection of the temptation of Darkseid. Then he winked and shrugged with good humor. "Besides if I can satisfy the strongest woman on Apokolips with just one hand who says I need two to stop a Bat?"
"Ha ha ha you are right Garfield!" Mister Miracle and Orion both laughed.
"Still let me loan you my Astro-Harness!" Orion offered with helpfulness as he handed Garfield his Astro-Harness and Mister Miracle opened up a boom tube to Earth with his Mother Box.
"Very well I will make good use of your gifts." Said Garfield with farewells as with the Astro-Harness and Godkiller in hand he blasted off into the Boom Tube.
Garfield traveled down the Boom Tube at speeds beyond light but halfway to Earth he was suddenly intercepted and diverted elsewhere!
"What the hell has just happened." Garfield asked as he teleported directly into a live-battlefield. It was like a light show of galactic proportions as green red blue indigo pink and orange lasers beams were being exchanged with yellow laser beams all across space. Planets were exploding and stars were going supernova everywhere. It was a cosmic war and Garfield had landed right in the middle of it!
"Hail new arrival!" Said a giant green mass of alien plantlife with red eyes forming from the ground as Garfield landed on the nearest planet. "I see you too have been intercepted by Zeta Beam!"
"Damn out of gas already." Garfield kicked the Astro-Harness in frustration before turning to the jolly green giant. "Who the hell are you? Anwer quick or be weeded by my fists."
"No need for hostility Garfield! I am Earth superhero Swamp Thing!" Said Swamp Thing with introductions. "I had tried to stop Batman in the early days by conquering Gotham with my powers from the Green but his dark magic was effective counter to my elemental might! My essence has been shot into space and I have been trying to return home ever since to get back to my woman but I have since been recruited into this war like you."
"And what war is this? I already have war to fight I cannot waste time multitasking." Garfield swore impatiently as he stamped a crater into the ground in frustration.
"You will find that this war in space is of just as much interest as the one on Earth!" Said man in red spacesuit and jetpack as he flew in. "I am Adam Strange and I am one who summoned you with the Zeta Beam!"
"For what purpose! Answer me now or I will have your head." Garfield demanded as he held the Godkiller to Adam Strange's throat.
"It is the Sinestro Corps War!" Announced a voice from above. Garfield looked up and saw that it was a human flying down with a green ring and a green jumpsuit accompanied by more like him.
"I am Hal Jordan of the Green Lantern Corps and now leader of the United Spectrum Forces!" Said Hal Jordan as he assumed his out of duty form to ease Garfield. Garfield saw the bomber jacket Hal Jordan was wearing with American flag patch on it and with smile knew that he was in trustworthy company.
"For decades the Yellow Lantern Sinestro and his Sinestro Corps have tried to conquer galaxy with power of fear but we of the Green Lantern Corps have fought them to stalemate with willpower!" Hal Jordan exposited as he and Garfield shook hands.
"I can see that the dam has burst however." Garfield noted as he saw the desperate defense by the United Spectrum Forces occurring above.
"Indeed. Sinestro was inspired by the fear Batman inspires and has agreed to conquer all of galaxy for him. He has since stolen the White Lantern and with its power gains more ground every day." Hal Jordan said with more exposition.
"White supremacists. The only thing I hate more than Batman." Garfield gritted his teeth and his eyes burned with fury at the mere mention of existence's greatest scum.
"Everyone across the galaxy have united to help us Lanterns. From Hawkman to Omega Men and even Lobo, we all have everything to lose if Batman conquers known space." Hal Jordan held out his hand to introduce everyone as a crowd lined up to meet Garfield.
"I will help you then." Garfield nodded with burning justice. "But I can only stay for as long as it takes to kill Sinestro. Where is he?"
"Over there Garfield!" Said the Green Lantern John Stewart as he popped in and pointed in the distance. "But between us and him is No Man's Land! To cross it is suicide!"
"I am more than just a man. I am a man with everything to lose. A beautiful blue world called Earth, and on it the greatest free nation to ever exist: America. America may be in the gutter now. We have stumbled and fallen in the race, overtaken by backwards thinking curs, I can admit with some heartbreak. But then I remember all the great wonders that we have accomplished that ignites my faith my fellow man that the ideals of our nation that we strive towards still exist in everyday simple kindness. I know that the night is darkest before the dawn but the dawn of justice is coming!" Garfield said with heroic speech as he walked to the edge of safe territory. Everyone, even hardened space biker Lobo, was beginning to be moved to tears by Garfield's speech.
Garfield stood at the edge of space and continued his space as he watched the war rage all around him. While he was doing this Green Lantern Kyle Rayner drew painting that would commemorate this occasion and Garfield's glory for all of eternity.
"For them, I will endure everything. Exile and great personal loss. I will brave the coldness of cosmic void, venture into the deepest depths of hell. I see all the enemies standing before them, and I will explode and vanquish them to the very last. For in my heart I fight for love. The love for my people and the dream of the America that I loved. In time I will make sure that every American joins me in the sun. I do not ask you to join me on the battlefield, for already you have all suffered greatly. But I ask you to do whatever you can to help, no matter how small, to keep the ideals of hope alive. NOW WHO IS WITH ME?" Garfield asked and everyone burst into applause and cheers.
"Garfield you are the man!" Hooted Green Lantern Mogo as he gave Garfield two thumbs up.
"I cannot believe it you have already restored and raised morale to new levels." Said Hal Jordan with impressed as he walked with Garfield to the gas station to refill the Astro-Harness. "Will you really be doing this? Battle across all of No Man's Land by yourself?"
"If not me than who will?" Garfield responded as he pumped gas and Hal Jordan nodded in heartfelt understanding. Garfield then revved up the Astro-Harness and with the Godkiller in hand blasted off to end a war. With all eyes of his newfound allies upon him Garfield flew forward without looking back into the eye of the storm.
"In war I always rock out to the best tunes." Garfield reminded himself as he opened the Spotify app installed on the Astro-Harness and selected hard rock classic Blue Oyster Cult. Rocking out to all-time classic albums like "Fire of Unknown Origin" "Secret Treaties" and "Cultosaurus Erectus" Garfield dodged mortars and meteors thrown at him by the Sinestro Corps.
Yellow-ringed cannon fodder rushed at him but with skillful swipes of Godkiller Garfield slew them all and absorbed their souls into his weapon boosting his power.
"This is a powerful weapon! I must make sure not to let it consume me!" Garfield thought with anti-drug metaphor as he rushed to the stronghold of the Sinestro Corps.
In the wake of Garfield's triumphant charge, Hal Jordan looked at his fellow soldiers and then towards Garfield in the distance.
"It is time, Hal Jordan." John Stewart said as the two Green Lanterns exchanged nod of friendship, ready to go out like Butch & Sundance if need be.
"Indeed it is, bro. SO LETS DO IT." Hal Jordan then cleared his throat. "In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil's might beware my power – Green Lantern's light!" Hal Jordan led his fellow Green Lanterns in chanting their oath before lighting up and dashing onto the battlefield. Soon afterwards the other Lantern Corps followed as well as their other allies and soon they were decimating the leftovers of the Sinestro Corps left by Garfield on the battlefield.
In his fortress Sinestro sat on his throne twirling his mustache with frustration as he watched on TV the sudden turn of the tide.
"Curses I was so close to finally ridding myself of accursed Green Lanterns!" Sinestro sneered with tantrum. "How is this possible! Batman told me Garfield would be no problem!"
"How would you like to find out for yourself?" Garfield asked as he burst in through the front door, splattering all the Yellow Lanterns who were standing guard.
"Shut up and die Garfield." Sinestro snapped and activated his White Lantern powers blasting deadly energy beams at Garfield. Garfield swiftly dodged all blasts, and they hit and incinerated Arkillo instead.
"No one is left but you. Lights out, Sinestro." Garfield said as he jumped out of his Astro-Harness and swung the Godkiller down but Sinestro constructed a sword out of White Lantern energy and blocked it.
As a cosmic storm raged all around them, Garfield and Sinestro fought. They were like the vortex of a black hole as their fury escaled and took on physical form and for a moment time stilled and all hinged on this one duel.
"You cannot stop me Garfield. Face my secret weapon!" Sinestro smirked as he leapt back and caught his breath before grabbing his old Yellow Lantern and pushing its on button. "Parallax I choose you!"
Parallax the Fear Entity that looked like a big monster chicken dragon appeared with a monstrous roar in the room. Garfield could feel its corrupting influence, and his hairs stood up and his skin started to tingle. But Garfield felt no fear, and Parallax stopped in its tracks with uncertainty.
"Hey big boy. Know how much lasagna with chicken you'll make? Nothing I like more than taste of fear in my lunch." Garfield winked to Parallax as he brandished the Godkiller like a menacing spatula. With a shriek, Parallax dovetailed it out of Castle Sinestro and was immediately vaporized by Hal Jordan and the Green Lanterns. With Parallax's death, the power of the Yellow Lantern was destroyed and all remaining members of the Sinestro Corps died immediately.
"No matter! The power of the White Lantern will still reign supreme!" Sinestro insisted as he conjured up himself a White Lantern pillow fort to protect himself from Garfield as he cowered inside.
"Sinestro you are fool to think that life is monochrome. As if the world can be divided into good and bad simply by black and white." Garfield said as he walked up to Sinestro's fort and began to beat down on it. "Diversity is beauty you simpleton dummy. And with the power of the rainbow I will crush your evil."
With social justice Garfield imbued the Godkiller with the power of the entire Emotional Spectrum. With a mighty battle cry Garfield plunged the Godkiller down and shattered destroyed the White Lantern. Sinestro could only shriek like the cowardly bully he truly was at heart as his defenses shattered and then Garfield pierced his heart and sucked out his soul.
"In the end, you are all overtaken by the blackness of death." Garfield spat on Sinestro as his body twitched in death throes. With the destruction of the White Lantern, the entire Emotional Spectrum flew out of control for a moment. Colors swirled all around Garfield like a magic show before focusing in on his missing hand. After a flash of rainbow light, Garfield cleared his eyes and saw that he now had a transforming Lantern arm made out of emotions that was like the Lantern power ring but an arm instead.
"Talk about a gun show." Garfield said with appreciation as he flexed his new arm, and the moment he thought the word gun his arm made a construct of a machine gun and fired.
"You have done it Garfield you have defeated Sinestro." Hal Jordan said as he walked in and handed Garfield the coordinates to Earth.
"The battle is won but the war will be decided on Earth." Garfield said as he got back in the Astro-Harness and opened the GPS. Soon afterwards everyone else gathered in to see Garfield off.
"We would love to come with you to help but the galaxy needs to be repaired first." John Stewart said with apoloegetics. "But we will try to send you aid as soon as we can."
"Do not worry, you spectacular green men. Batman will never know what hit him. I will be long done with him by the time you arrive, just in time for my victory party." Said Garfield with confidence as everyone clapped.
"Godspeed, Garfield." Hal Jordan said and everyone saluted as Garfield blasted off once more, flying to Earth.
The stage for final battle had been set.
To be continued…