Garfield League of America Chapter Ten: Clash of the Supermen! Imposter Identity Crisis!
It was evening at Wayne Manor and Batman was sitting in the Bat-Cave in solace, watching the world burn.
"Master Bruce I have brought you midnight snack." Said Alfred with loyal servitute as he put plate of cookies and glass of milk next to Batman. "You have also received UPS package in mail."
"What is in the box?" Batman asked with little interest as Alfred put a big cardboard box dripping red before him.
"I'm afraid that it is your lost boys." Alfred said with condolences as Batman opened up the box and saw it contained the dismembered remains of Robin and Red Robin.
"So it is as I expected ever since they went dark. Garfield is back and coming for me with a vengeance." Batman said expectantly as he dipped a cookie in Damien Wayne's brains and ate it. "Oh well I knew these boys would never amount to much. They were all nothing but pale shadows of the first..."
Batman clenched his fist with anger as he remembered the betrayal he had suffered recently, when that damned traitor refused to go along with his glorious plans of worldly chaos.
"Well at least I do not have to pay for their college now." Batman laughed looking at the bright side. He then motioned for Alfred to give directions. "Alfred go to my slave pens and prepare a beauty for my throne. I am going to watch some TV."
Elsewhere Garfield was cruising up and down the deserted Highway 101 in a commandeered red 1970 Dodge Charger, on the way to his luxury beachhouse where this had all began. He was on the way to reunite with Jon Arbuckle and they would rendezvous with Superman at set coordinates in Washington DC. Together the three of them would team up to put an end to the reign of Batman.
"This could not have happened. Not in America." Garfield said with dismayed disbelief as he drove past anarchy of every shape and size on his way home. Roving gangs of madmen burst across deserts and beaches on motorcycles and jury-rigged dune buggies while flocks of man-bats blotted out the blood-red sky. Meteors regularly crashed into the landscape, while hordes of apathetics staggered mindlessly towards their doom.
Garfield then reached his beach house, where the roof had been caved in and part o f thouse fallen into the sea. Garfield gritted his teeth and clenched his fist with rage as he saw that his iconic Red Corvette and fleet of Lasagna Falcon fighter jets had all been exploded, with the Bat symbol burned into their remains.
"Garfield save us." moaned the voice of a hundred females emanating from the swimming pool. Garfield leapt the fence and rushed to the pool, which had been drained. Garfield's eyes widened as he saw recognized what remained of the babes he had left at his pool party earlier. The many had been taken by chaos and assimilated into a warped singularity, a giant hybrid human Portuguese man of war. Hundreds of eyes blinked and hundreds of arms reached in desperation as the blob that was once females made inhuman squishing sounds that chilled blood everytime it tried to move.
This was socialism in action. Garfield recoiled in disgust at the un-American plague that Batman had brought into his life and nation.
"Cry no more. Garfield to the rescue as always." Said Garfield with infinite sadness as he raised his Cosmic Lantern arm made a firing squad construct and executed the chaos thing.
With caution coursing through his body and heaviness pouding in his heart Garfield withdrew the Godkiller and held in his hands. Garfield rounded a corner to his bedroom and saw slumped against the wall none other than Jon Arbuckle.
Jon Arbuckle was bleeding out, his legs spread out and broken, while dead naked Liz headshotted in the back lay facedown nearby on the bed.
"Jon Arbuckle! What happened to you?" Garfield asked with worry for his best friend.
"I tried to stop Batman. He was playing easy last time we fought but this time he played for keeps Garfield." Jon Arbuckle explained to Garfield with agony as he tried to keep his guts from falling out. "I'm sorry old friend but I'm no use to you anymore."
"Do not say that Jon Arbuckle!" Garfield yelled at Jon Arbuckle with reassurance. "You are my oldest friend and friends always have each others backs. I will patch you up with my cool new lantern powers and then we will wreak vengeance on Batman like instant bake lasagna."
Garfield then united the Emotional Spectrum into one, and poured all the energy he could into Jon Arbuckle mending his wounds.
"I appreciate the fix Garfield but I have already been ravaged by Batman's chaos. And with balance run astray there is no putting the pizza back in the box." Jon Arbuckle then parted his messy matted hair and revealed implanted into his skull and protruding from his forehead a black diamond shaped like the Bat. In the middle of the diamond a red circle formed like an eye opening up with a droning noise and Garfield knew that from the safety of his fortress in Gotham City Batman could see and hear everything Jon Arbuckle did.
"HELLO GARFIELD. EYE AM BROTHER EYE." A digitized version of Batman's voice emanated from the Bat Diamond as Jon Arbuckle's eyes rolled back and he went slack. "IT IS MY PLEASURE TO DESTROY YOU."
Jon Arbuckles eyes rolled back into place and were severly bloodshot and he lurched towards Garfield with intends of wringing neck. Jon Arbuckle was under remote control of Batman via Brother Eye!
"Snap out of it Jon Arbuckle. Your jewels are bigger than the Bats." Garfield snapped his fingers, bringing Jon Arbuckle back to reality.
"I cannot help you in this state, Garfield. I cannot tell when Batman will again exert contrEYE AM YOUR DOOM." Jon Arbuckle swung back and forth between control of his own body. "Garfield there is only one thing I can do!"
Just as Brother Eye was about to exert dominance over Jon Arbuckle once and for all Jon Arbuckle let loose one final and familiar
"AMAKOOOOOOO" Jon Arbuckle roared with defiance as he grabbed Garfield's arm that was holding the Godkiller and plunged the soul-stealing sword into his chest.
"WHY" Garfield asked in shocked horror as he could feel Jon Arbuckle's soul rushing to join the others he had already taken by the Godkiller. Holding onto the sword Garfield could feel the memories of Jon Arbuckle surging in and mixing with his own. Jon Arbuckle's soul and his strength became one with Garfield's.
"I'm sorry Garfield this was the only way. Any other way would help Batman." Jon Arbuckle said to Garfield as his soul was fully absorbed into the Godkiller and Garfield saw where the headquarters of the Rebellion Against Batman was. Then Jon Arbuckle's body shrieveld and crumpled.
"Jon Arbuckle. My Oldest Friend. No." Yelled Garfield with emotions as he fell to his knees. Then he looked at Jon Arbuckle's corpse and saw that Brother Eye was still blinking.
"I hope you enjoyed this Batman. Because it's all downhill for you from here." Garfield embued the Godkiller with extra power from his Lantern Arm and raised it above Brother Eye. "Fly blind like Bat in the Light from here on."
With an enraged roar like he had never roared before, Garfield plunged the Godkiller into Brother Eye, exploding it. Because it was a filthy evil machine AI of Batman there was no soul to steal.
Meanwhile in Gotham City Batman was sitting on his throne with the infamous blak sword Batblade at his side and tub of popcorn in his lap in the rebuild Wayne Manor, which had become an even more decadent nest of evil than before. Before him were several big screen TVs that Batman was watching with his cowl off showing no emotion at all while the song "Beautiful Lie" by Hans Zimmer from soundtrack of "Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice" played on his fancy audio rig. Lois Lane was chained to the side of his throne in tattered clothing barely clinging onto her bruised and cut body, hand-servicer on duty.
On one TV there was footage of Bruce Waynes parents being shot by by Joe Chill and his father saying the word Martha on loop. On another TV it linked to Batman's gladiator arena where all the captive woman he had taken were forced into brutal catfights for his entertainment. Currently his former lovers Selina Kyle the Catwoman and Talia Al Ghul were French kissing in topless foxy boxing match but Batman felt nothing watching not even a little tingle down there. Finally on the other TV the screen went static as Garfield destroyed Brother Eye.
"I was blind ever since the nights my parents died and the bats brought me to the light." Batman monologued thinking about Garfield's last message. "But through Barbatos my eyes have opened at last."
"How could you do this Batman? You are supposed to be superhero!" Asked Lois Lane as she futilely tried to shake out of her chains. "You were once Charming Caped Crusader who brought hope to Gotham City but now you damn the entire world like toddler throwing tantrum."
"Twenty years in Gotham. How many good guys are left, Lois Lane? How many stayed that way?" Batman told her, tapping the side of his throne with staccato emptiness. "Superman was the hero you deserved but It is about time you people got the hero you need."
"How is anything that you are doing is heroic?" Lois Lane snapped at Batman. "You have murdered billions with your Dark Knight Chaos Army! You are becoming a demon!"
"I'm already a demon, Lois Lane. I always have been." Batman responded with nihilism as he backhanded Lois Lane for her lip. "Now watch your place stupid smelly woman or your shift in the arena is being moved up."
"Hit me as hard you can it will not change that Garfield is back and coming to stop you." Lois Lane managed to smirk through the pain.
"Oh he might be running into a surprise right about now." Batman said without any fear. He then barked order into his cowl's walky-talky. "Oracle triangulate Garfield's last known location. Send him the super science special."
Batman then turned to Lois Lane to remind her of her place and unsheathed Batblade. He ripped off her shirt, and began to cut the Bat into her chest as a mark of ownership while she writhed and screamed feeling Batblade tugging at her soul with eager lust.
"Hold still. I'm a sucker for perfectionism." Batman said with artistry and then exposited to the horrified and crying Lois Lane his evil plan. "I thought it would be fun, Lois Lane, to destroy Garfield through his friends who matter most to him. You already saw what I did to Jon Arbuckle but what about Superman? Oh yes, I sought to clone Superman and kill Garfield with his own friend. But you cannot accelerate hope and optimism in a lab and have everything go perfectly." Batman stated ominously as narrative pov shifted back to Garfield.
Garfield had arrived Dodge Charger on his desert airbase, where his last intact air transport was. Garfield hopped out of the Dodge Charger and ran towards his stealth prototype bomber but suddenly from above heat vision came down and exploded it and all the entire airfield.
"Damn it. What now." Garfield looked up and through a clearing in the clouds there was a floating man in a cape who looked and dressed like Superman but was not. What clinched the faker was his upper lip, which looked like it had a mustache grown on it, but someone had shoddily removed it with CGI turning the dazzling alien hunk that was Superman into a total technoabomination. The theme song for Superman by John Williams began to play but like it had been bastardized and misused by Danny Elfman.
"I am Superman, I am not Bizarro!" Bizarro said to Garfield with constant smile on his face. "I am not Man of Smiles! I am not smiling when Batman did not task me to kill you Garfield!"
Bizarro punched downwards awkwardly at Garfield, which Garfield managed to dodge but was still hit by the shockwave. Garfield fired several Lantern Construct missiles at Bizarro but Bizarro froze them all with freeze breath.
"You should not chill out Garfield! Here do not let me help you!" Bizarro froze the ground where Garfield stood making him slip. Bizarro then swooped in and grabbed Garfield and flew up in the air.
Bizarro then looked Garfield in the eyes and smiled with his mouth wide open, making him look even more uncanny.
"Do not tell me Garfield if you bleed. You will not." Bizarro informed Garfield before throwing him into his Dodge Charger making another explosion.
"This is getting to be annoying." Garfield grumbled as he walked out of the explosion without a scratch, hesitant to take the Godkiller into action. Although Garfield knew that he could instantly kill Bizarro with the sword's power he did not want that thing's soul inside him. Garfield readied for a drag out fight as Bizarro rushed at him with both fists out but suddenly the real Superman flew in and punched Bizarro high in the sky with an uppercut.
"I am not hurt! I can still move!" Bizarro insisted as he landed as a heap of broken limbs.
"You are the real Superman! I am not!" Bizarro yelped as Superman lifted his broken body up in the air.
"Fake shave, fake Superman." Superman said with logic as he tugged on Bizarro's head and legs in opposite directions and ripped him in two. "Half-off Special for Dead Clones."
"If you are not Superman then you kill!" Bizarro said to Superman with no killing rule as he tried to crawl away on his bisected upper half with his intestines trailing out. "Kill me Superman I am not just a misunderstood innocent! You do not hold all life sacred!"
"I'm not breaking my rule because you have no life to begin with you test-tube freak." Superman and Garfield both laughed at Bizarro's plight before Superman put the insult against nature out of its misery by firing his heat vision into Bizarros open wound to cook him alive from the inside.
"I guess he just couldn't handle the heat." Garfield said to Superman with corny joke as they watched the smoldering corpse of Bizarro and high-fived.
"We must stop meeting like this." Superman said casually to Garfield as he landed back on the ground.
"When all this is said and done let me buy you a lasagna and beer, and we shall celebrate in memory of friends both lost and alive." Said Garfield with meaningful bonds as Superman nodded in respect. "Shall we continue onto Washington DC then to rally America?"
"I am sorry Garfield." Sad looked crossed over Superman's face. "There is no more Washington DC. Batman has destroyed it all. No more President, Congress, or Supreme Court they are all dead and gone." To this Garfield just shrugged but then his face darkened as Superman continued. "Batman's army has thoroughly routed the US National Guard, Navy Seals, and Secret Service. Not even the Chattanooga FBI could stop them."
"No. Not the Chattanooga FBI." Garfield said before raising his fist and ire to the heavens. "I SWEAR IT BATMAN. I'M GONNA KILL YOU."
"We may very well be all that's left of America." Superman shook his head as he observed the emptiness of the horizon surrounding them.
"Damn it all to hell. We will have to fix America, Superman, even if it is impossible." Garfield swore, his heart incensed at the evil Batman unleashed.
"Garfield nothing is impossible when men like us exist to make it possible." Superman said with words of hope.
Garfield then looked into the swirling memories of the stolen souls of the Godkiller. They would be heading to Bludhaven, where the Rebellion Against Batman was situated.
"Let's go, Superman. Let us hope the Resistance still lives." Garfield said as he harnessed the power of his Lantern Arm to begin flight.
"Race you then." Superman said as he got ready to sonic boom into the air.
"You're on." And with that, Garfield and Superman burst into the sky. Traveling across America neck to neck like Jack Kerouac on speed, they brought hope and optimism with them through every inch of the fallen wasteland that was once America they passed over.
To be continued…