It´s was over, Sora knew it as soon as the door opened, a dozen of familiar faces appeared, all of them carrying flowers, perfumes, ribbons of all the colors on their hands, red and silver, blue and a beautiful soft pink, all the things that must be smash on her face before the times arrives, they must stroke her body and clean every single spot; and in the background, screaming in agony, it was her wedding dress, no other color matter after all, no the shadow of her eyes or the carmine of her libs, white was the tone of a bride, and that was what she must become, not a princess or a daughter, not a warrior or a ruler.
Even her name, her family insignia and the pride of her house would be taken away from her, since her window she could see the Light standards rise over the gardens.
This Is the only way , she repeat on her head, It's worthy, it could be so much worse, she smiled, Iory Hida could had won the tournament or Davis or Takeru. It could be better, She remember Yamato´s face; still complaining about the winner would be unfair, Taichi was noble and brave, he show mercy on his greatest moment, maybe he would show that same kindness to her.
"Its beautiful don't you think" just when Sora thought her morning couldn´t be worse she notice her mother presences "You are gonna look perfect on it" Her mother sob over her wedding dress, her awful wedding dress, Sora put attention on the long leaves, the turtleneck and the heavy veil "Don't make that face, it is a gif from the sisters"
"The sisters?" She replied in horror "The Light sisters?!" well that make sense
"Yes, and you are going to behave and please the.." the scold of the queen get interrupted when the door suddenly open
"I´m so sorry!" the man at the door rushed "i knock but no one answered and…" Taichi looked confuse, clearly he didn't expect to find the room full "I hope to talk with princess Sora but if you are busy.."
"Don't worry" Sora said, her heart accelerate "It Is not a problem, please leave us" she order and the maids immediately left but the queen mother stayed
"It´s complete inappropriate that.."
"Mother please" Sora insisted and the woman finally agree, not without make a big speech about manners, traditions and moral behavior "I´m so sorry, she is like that"
"Is ok" Sora was proud about been really good reading other people feelings, of course she didn't need that special talent to figure out how uncomfortable Taichi was "I.. just wanna talk to you before.." he didnt get to finish, just smile and nod. He looked like a child.
Just the two of them on the room, well they and the wedding dress, alone with Taichi Sora couldn´t stop noticing how horrendous it was.
"What are you gonna wear?" she asked ignoring the constant rambling of the boy, and for the time he last a replied Sora thought he didn't understand her question
"My armor, the formal manner, you know, The Light vestment"
"Of course" she remained sitting on the corner of the bed, wondering why her fiance didn't get closer to her, why they didn't discuss about their future, the manage of the kingdom, the fact that Taichi already promise the position of royal knight to Yamato Ishida, the implication of the light influence on their life…
"I bring you a present" he finally was able to articulate and she looked at him with expectation, hoping that he planned to cut his hair before the ceremony "Is a reliquia" he walked toward her and put a little box on her hand, their fingers touch and Sora smiled at the little approach but for her disappointment Taichi returned to his previous position
The princess watch at the little gif, a beautiful barrette, it has a pearl on it, similar to the ones the sisters use "You don't like my hair" she whispered and he looked at her even more confused than before
"What?"
"I never used this kind or ornament, you don't like the way i do my hair?"
It was a small thing, but it infuriate her, he was about to married her and he didn't even put attention on her, why in the world she would like a barrette?
"No, I mean yes, I like your hair, you are beautiful!" again he started to ramble and Sora despaired in silence, sensing that this would be a moment that would be repeated constantly "the yewel belong to my mother" he rushed in panic "she used it on her wedding"
Stupid, stupid little spoil princess, not only his fiance behave like a child, she was making a fool of herself, Taichi would thought that she was selfish and hysterical. They are going to be trapped forever on that rare air of politeness and cold rejection.
Or Taichi could laugh. With his eyes and body.
And Sora could follow him. Laughing of all that mess, of themselves, of the country that hope they could rule it with grace and wisdom.
She hadn't laught since his father called her on his deathbed.
For the first time Sora looked at Taichi's eyes, he was as nervous as she, as lost, maybe if she stand up and take his hand it could be a beginning, they could grow together, they could be a we…
"Excuse me, your highness" someone called at the door
"Come in" she commanded and one of the maiden entered with a shy expression, afraid to interrupt a private moment
"A letter" she whispered delivering the envelope on Taichi´s hands " I retire, your highness" she bowed in front of both of them and ran to the exit, Sora still laughs from the girl reaction but her companion wasn´t laughing anymore. Taichi was smiling, his perfect teeth show an excited bright smile
"I´m sorry" he managed to said in her way to the door " I must go"
"Right now?" she replied walking closer to him "There are a lot of things that I want to talk with you" damn, she hates to sound so needy
"Don't worry, I mean, we are gonna have time for that" he wasn't looking at her " I…" he doubt "I'll see you tonight"
"Tonight" she repeated once she was left alone, alone with the ribbons, and the jewels and the colors and the perfumes and that hideous dress, she hold the barrette between her fingers and held her hair.
They were things that she can't change, sacrifices she must do, obligation that she couldn't avoid, but if she has a chance, if there were battles she could fight she would do it.
She walked to the shelf next to her bed, took scissors and thread and swore on the name of his father: she was not going to wear a turtleneck on her wedding day.
Taichi walked as fast as he can, his sweaty hands almost crushed the paper on his left , and without a minute of contemplation he knocked the door ,a female voice answered and he freeze, that was a bad idea.
A maiden with blood over her smock open the door, the room was so much smaller than any other room that Taichi has visit on the palace, no ornaments, no chandeliers, not even curtains but of course he did not repair on any of those details.
How could he? Yamato was there, sitting on an old chair, wearing only pants, his torso was bandaged, his arms were bruised, his left shoulder in which the maiden was putting a smelling unguent look particularly bad, his always perfect hair was out of place and scars usually cover were at plain couldn´t avoid the guilt, after their fight he remains clean and unharmed.
"What are you doing here?" Yamato tone was aggressive, he seem surprise to see him
"You ask me to come hear" Taichi answers mimicking him, self aware of the strong bites of his hearth, forcing himself to look at his face, as if his face was less distracting than his body.
It was the first time that they talk since their combat, did he hate him? Yamato has all the reason in the world to hate him, or was he grateful? Taichi offers him a safe path, did Yamato thought that he would forgot about his promise? or that he did what he did out of compassion? as an act of condescending? or meaby as him he couldn't forget about the first night of the tournament, maybe as him he could not sleep for the memory of that stolen kiss, maybe…
"Later" The kight explain with the same angry than before "i ask you to come later"
Taichi struggle to compose and read the letter again, he feel humiliated at check the hour, but he was stubborn enough to don't care "I would be busy later, if you wanna tell me something now is the moment" now, before the coronation, before the wedding.
Yamato look down, his jaw clench and his fingers move in frustration "Leave us alone, please" he order to the maid who smile and close the door in her way out.
They were alone, just that was enough to destroy Taichi´s nerves, more when Yamato stay quiet, he get desperate about his silence, he could see the muscle on his back move, they looks tense, was he waiting for he to said something? it was Yamato who call him, he shouldn't leave Sora alone for that, he shouldn't…
"Is about Joe" He finally said, no, he yells, and Taichi look at him in confusion "King Joe, the sea King.."
"Yes I know Joe, what about him?" what did he have to do with them?
Yamato was swinging on the chair, thick drops of sweat ran down his forehead, and he seemed unable to keep his hands still, Taichi thought in cover him with his cloak or at least bring him some of the sheets that covered the bed
"He is planing to name Iory Hida as his successor" he speak between his teeths
"What?" Taichi exclaim, processing the information, that was not what he expected to hear, the Sea king couldn´t be that stupid
"He told me his plans on confidence during the finals, the night of the gala" he shake his head, still looking to the floor
"Why?"
"He thought as the forgotten prince as a son because he doesn't has children of his own, beside I'm sure that he is insecure about his own strength, he is convinced that Iory is the true heir to the throne as if he was some kind of usurpator and…"
"No"Taichi walk a few step closer to him "why are you tell me this? if Joe told you in confidence"
Finally Yamato look up, and stare directly to him
"I swore loyalty to you"
Yes he did
That´s why he call him, to discuss politics, to do his duty,
Taichi body get colder, it was no need to feel nervous around Yamato, he has decide to become his knight, to serve his time and nothing more. To his agony, Taichi had to live the rest of his life in an uncertain marriage, serving a false god and now he must add the loyalty of the man he love.
What a funny thought ,the love, why he call love his feelings for Yamato?, It would be more accurate to call it a whim, a fantasy, in a week or two he will have forgotten about his eyes, he will have forgotten his tenderness and the warmth of his arms, now he only has regrets, he should have hugged him harder, he should have allowed his hands to touch him.
"I would take care of that, i would talk to the Sea King after the ceremony, tonight" he try to emulate his natural confidence, hide his broken feelings "anything else?"
Yamato didn't look away, he breath slowly a couple of times as the words were to hard to pronounce "Thank you" almost like a plea "it would be my honor to serve you, my king"
Yamato Ishida was a storm, a living hurricane and his force was tearing him apart, he never ask for this pain.
"I´m not" he barely could speech " i have not been crowned yet" Taichi need to get out of there "I..I.. I would see you later, at the ceremony, i would, i would send you some of the" he try to make sense on his own words " one of the sisters, they are really good on healing and.." Taichi open the door " they cure me, i´m sure they.."but Yamato denied with his head ánd smile
"they will not" what was he talking about? "I dont believe in the light Taichi" how beautiful sound his name when Yamato smile "i´m not… they would never even touch me, i´m a bastard who doesn't live according to your god rules, your people find me repulsive, unworthy beside, their precious knight of light made me this injures, they are probable sacred or something and.. what are you doing?"
Taichi approach to him, took a clean towel, the unguent and star to cure his shoulder injure.
He could recite from memory the sonnets about helping the needy, the scriptures that spoke about the equal of the soul, the saints that venerated humility and charity or any other crappy lie to explain his behavior.
"You must be joking" instead he decide to improvise"no one with eyes will ever call you repulsive"
" you would be surprised your highness" Taichi laughs "What is so funny?"
"Sometimes you forgot about your manners and call me by my name, and others you said my titles just to annoyed me" they were so close, Taichi care the skin that surround his wound with the point of his finger, it was warm and soft.
Yamato breathing turn faster
"What are you doing?" he repeat, slowly and Taichi surprise of how vulnerable he sound, and then he realized: he was touching a wounded man, worse, a wounded barely dress man who had sworn loyalty and devotion to him.
"I.. i´m sorry" but he didnt move
"stay away from me" he mutter, his hole body was shaking
He had been rejected, of course, he must be the last person Yamato wants, he made that clear with the formalities and the cold distand, what stupid little boy! so used to be the center of attention, so certain that the whole world must adore him!
Taichi go away without his dignity, but before he must confess a last true, the secret he has no right to keep, their last unfinished business
"Your eyes…" he has no idea how to tell him, the best way was star with the worse "Prince Takeru"
"What about him?" he jump, now he definitely has his attention
"He has your eyes" the fear was visible on Yamato´s face "and your hair"
"Blond hair and blue eyes" Yamato force a laughs "Those are the features of the valley, if you go to any village in the…"
"Princess Ritsuko didn't ring the bell when i fall"
The air get cold, they were alone, only one maiden knows he was there and Yamato look at him in a way that Taichi would not be surprised if he tried to kill him
"Did.. did your mother left you at your father door because she was a noble of the valley?" Yamato beat his lips and close his fist "was it because she was offer with an advantageous marriage?"
"stop"
"I won at soon as Takeru was defeat" he continue "because let you win will be a probe that she was wrong, because…"
"Because I´m nothing!" He scream "Because im worth nothing and you are a god dam heir!" He kick the chair and shout in pain "What else do you want for me? i´m nothing! you know that! she know that!"
What else would he expect? Taichi call himself an idiot a hundred times on his mind, he has push Yamato to the edge, the best was to live him for good.
"Whait¡" Yamato call him when he approach to the door and he turn around as fast as he could "what do you want?"
What kind of question was that? what does Taichi wants? he wasn´t sure, sadly not the victory for what he had work so hard bring him joy, not his engaged with a beautiful woman, not the promise of power, he doesn´t want any of that, not truly.
"you" He said calmly but with certain while his hole body was trembling "I want you"
"thats all?" Yamato shake his head and rest again the desk
Taichi get frustrated, that was the worse love declaration of all time
"Yes, i guess"
"Good" he said looking at the ceiling "Good" he repeat walking through the room, his trembling hands opened a cabinet and tried to serve the contents of a bottle in an old cup, but he was incapable for cause of the involuntary movement of his muscles and threw the cup to the ground
Dozen of little glasses fly for the room, Taichi tries to approach but Yamato stop him
"Give me a minute" he asked and took a big sip directly for the bottle "all right" he mumble and turn to him, and walked close to him, really close.
In a slow movement of his hand he untied Taichi´s cape, this fall to the ground and Taichi feels chills runing dow his back, Yamato tilted his head and buried on his neck and just like that he commence to kiss him.
Taichi didn't move and again he freeze while he feels his tongue behind his ear
"Who else know?" he whisper
"What?" he could not think with his fingers unbuttoning his shirt
"Did you tell anyone? did you tell her?" he catch the frustation on Yamato´s voice
"her?" Taichi repeat
"The princess" one hand slip inside his shirt
"Sora?" he asked confused
"What?" Yamato´s fingers hold tight in his shoulders "no! Ritsuko, my.. my mother did she know about this?"
"This?" what the hell was happening? "Are you… are you crying?" Taichi push him away, sure that something was wrong
"Im fine" but Yamato looks the opposite to fine "i can do this, i can do this" he repeat to himself and look at him with shame on the eyes
Taichi repeat the last minutes on his head and slowly realized it
"O my god" he felt sick "o dear light on the heaven, I.. I…" he could vomit "i´m not.. I'm not threatening you!" he yells, and pick up his cloat for the floor "This is not! i would never!" he need to get out of there and never speak to him again "this is not a blackmail!"
For the third time he run to the door
"Then what is this?"
No, he will not answered him, he would never speak to him again, he would trow himself for the biggest tower of the palace
"What the hell is this then?!"
"Im confessing" he yells "I´m telling you that i love you! that i cant stop thinking about you! i cannot sleep! i cannot think! i´m unhappy in the greatest day of my life because all of i can think is in your stupid face and the stupid color of your beautiful eyes! You idiot!"
Yamato stare at him, attentively, and the red shade on his face slowy disapear
"How did you find out?" he ask "About.. about my mother"
Did not he hear about his love declaration?
"It was the only explanation that make sense…" taichi said while he fails miserably in bottoming his own shirt "and, you two looks really similar, and because you two fight a like I guess"
"You can't tell anyone"
"I have no plans to tell…"
"You must Promise" he demand, and Taichi agree, Yamato ran a hand through his hair and remains pensative
"Can you?" Taichi tried really hard to not sound nervous, to look everywhere else but at him "Can you please just dress?"
Yamato look directly at him and crossed his arms
"No"
it wasn't an unreasonable petition! but he had reasons to be angry and Taichi make an effort in stay calm
"I´m sorry" why he was still there? "It was never my intention to force you to nothing, i was just.. " he had to look at him so intensely? "i just want you to know how i feel" he wait to him to said something but of course he said nothing "since the moment we meet you catch my attention and..."
"Liar"
"What?"
"Liar" he repeat "You didn't even see me when we meet"
"well, maybe you think that but this had been crazy days and…"
"We meet two years ago, on a winter festival at the burning mountains, we competes on the horse race"
"What? two years ago?" Taichi make an effort to remember it
"Yes"
"I won that race"
"I know"
"I don't remember you back then"
"I know" Taichi tryes to laugh, he was a nervous disaster, Yamato stay like a statue on the center of the room and he didn't know what was he thinking or if he was waiting for him to live
"No" he finally said "I´m not interested"
Taichi feels his throat close
"I.. I understand " but he didn't "i mean…" he laugh again even when the tears pressure his eyes "i´m gonna married tonight"
"is not because of that,I do not like you" " so much cruelty was necessary? cold, not a doubt, no subtlety, was he punish him?
"well" the pain in his chest grow "then is over i will…"
"I´ll pack my things and return to valley"
"What?" did he hate him at the point he would resign to the position of king guard? the must prestige position that a knight could ask? "Don't you want the designation? i promise you a place in the palace"
His eyes wrinkled
"i still… "he move his shoulders and make a circle motion with his neck as if every single movement hurt "i tough that my position was jeopardize"
"No" Taichi rush "I promised you not because my feelings or because your secrets, i did it because i thought you deserve it, it wasn't a fair fight"
They were over, everything that must be said was said, Taichi could treat him as a stranger, rebuild their relations as knight and king, and he would do his duty and serve the kingdom, and married the princess, and honor the light.
But Yamato run until the door still with an angry look at his face blocking his way out
"You push me away" it sound like an accusation and Taichi couldn´t be more lost "That night in the gala, when i tried… when i kissed you" he correct " you push me away, this is a mistake you said, why?"
Why did it matter? why he continue to torture him? why he didn't let him go?
"I was surprised" Taichi wants to forget about that, buried those memories and never thought in that again, in his arm, or his warm, the softness of his skin "i never thought… i was surprise, i did not think you could be so sweet"
Somehow Yamato smile
"What about Sora?"
Why he ask about her? at least…
"I´m gonna marry her, i have to"
"What about you precious light? didn't they have rules about love?"
"I couldn't care less about that" Taichi could see were was he going, Yamato was the one who kiss him that night on the gala, the one who was blocking his way out, so he let both arms rest on the wall one to each side of his head "Yamato.." he star, the must carefully he could " when you said you don't like me, was you lying? "
The knight open his mouth, his lips was trembling
"Yes"
"Why?
"I don't believe when the people said they love me" Taichi flex his arms, letting his body rest over his, against the wall
"Why you kissed me that night on the gala?" his heart accelerate, he hold his breath
"Because you let me"
That miserable of Ishida, he would destroy him in every posible way
"And.. what is stopping you now?
Yamato shortened the last remaining distance between them, there was no tenderness, no time, he did not take his face between his hands, instead he clinging to him with his whole body.
What a beautiful thing was his warm, his certainty, his smile, his love.