Garfield League of America Chapter Fourteen: The Final Battle Part One - Batman vs Superman Round 2!
For a year since the invasion of Steppenwolf was eclipsed by a greater homegrown evil, chaos and darkness had blazed the Earth like a neverending wildfire. But at long last, there was a light in the sky. Shining on the Orange Battle Maestro known as Garfield and it followed him whenever he went.
Garfield and the Justice League of America were plowing through the defenses of Gotham City as easily as cutting the lasagna. Batman's remaining demon legions and his hired goons were no match for the passion of the hero men fighting to make his twisted world unwind.
"This is too easy!" Superman said with some concern to Garfield as he tossed a hapless Dark Knight to Garfield and Garfield punched out the evil-doers ribcage. "Batman conquered the world with his Chaos Army but here we are cutting through them like greenhorns!"
"Why are you so concerned Superman?" Laughed Booster Gold as he fried faces off bad guys. "We are getting Glory and making history right here easiser than Easy Mac."
"Fool have you never heard of lulling and false securities?" Deathstroke retorted with tactics 101 as he slapped Booster Gold on the back as an example. Crying like woman in labor Booster Gold trip and fall into a line of Klansmen hired by Batman knocking them over like dominoes. While hooded miscreants were piled on top of one another Deathstroke took his katana and stabbed through them making a racist kebab.
They fought from district to district, from the Narrows all the way to the Bowery, liberating Gotham City from the tyranny of Batman inch by bloody inch.
"Go Garfield Go! You are our hero!" Shouted all the civilians with support from their windows as the hero wave rushed through the streets.
"My scans indicate that Batman's troop levels have rapidly declined. In fact I think we have killing them all!" Cyborg exclaimed as he looked at his digital charts.
"Crushing ants means nothing if the queen ant lives to make more." Said Garfield with metaphor. "Lets cut to the heart of the problem."
"So where is Batman then?" Asked Nightwing as he looked around at the gargoyle perches hanging above them.
"Let me scout from above!" Superman offered with his flight as he burst upwards into the clouds.
"Nice gesture but unnecessary because I can get eyes everywhere faster than The Flash." Said Cyborg with technology as he took control of all the machinery and systems in Gotham City, and began setting up tripwires and laser grids. There was not a spot in Gotham City you could step or breath without setting off one of Cyborg's traps that would set a million drones and turrets upon Batman.
"See this Batman? It is city-wide Cyborg Death Splash!" Said Cyborg with showboating as he shouted to the emptiness around them. "Take one step and you'll be peppered with more death than a jar full of ghost peppers!"
Cyborg then turned triumphantly to the rest of the Justice League of America.
"There is nowhere in space and time where Batman can hide from us!" BraggeD Cyborg with triupmahnce but sddenly Cyborg stopped dead in his tracks and looked down like he had a bad case of indigestion. Like suddenly his body was too big for his skin to contain.
"It is great then that I have evolved beyond time and space!" Said Batman's voice from out of nowhere. Everyone looked around but they couldn't see Batman anywhere until they realize with horror that Batmans voice was coming from inside Cyborg.
"AND NOW BARBATOS YOUR FEAST BEGINS. STARTING WITH NO ONES FAVORITE LEAGUER OF JUSTICE." Said Batman with movie clichés as he materialized to full size within Cyborg exploding and killing Cyborg for real this time from the inside.
"Nooooo Cyborg." Cried everyone with sorrow for their fallen comrade as bits of torn wiring and burnt circuitry rained down around them. And laughing in the midsto f it all was the Batman.
"We will make you pay for killing Cyborg Batman. Lets overwhelm him with our overwhelming numbers." Said Garfield with brute force tactics as the Justice League of America circled around Batman but Batman then pulled out a battrigger with a red button and pushed it.
"You simpletons you do not know what you walk yourselves into. This is not just any city THIS IS GOTHAM CITY. AND I AM GOTHAM CITY. THIS CITY BENDS TO MY EVERY WILL." Batman hooted maniacally as in the twenty years of his being Batman he had put a little of himself into every corner of the citys infrastructure and soon like moving factory bits the city was reorganizing itself turning into a labyrinth of doom and teleport beams shot out from Bat-Drones flying in from above and scattered the heroes.
"Oh no my friends are in danger!" Cried Superman from above as he saw the reorganization of the city unfolding before him. With urgencies Superman sped back below but perhaps it was already too late.
"Oh Barbatos so richly shall you dine on the blood and souls of this world's last heroes. They could not save the world alone and together they shall redefine failure." Batman promised to his Bat Chaos Deity as he took out a list of names and crossed Cyborg's name of it, before playing eenie-meenie-minie-moe to decide who was next.
Deathstroke came to in the High Rise district of Gotham City on top of the Wayne Tower. Before he had time to orient himself Batman swooped in from above with a slash from Batblade.
"Slade the Deathstroke the Terminator. You have killed many, and every soul you slew was a soul kept from Barbato's maw! That ends now." Batman said with threats as he swung sword again and again at Deathstroke.
"So you think you are all tough because you have your Dark Multiverse sword? Batdummy you are up against master of the samurai ways! I am not scared of you!" Pronounced Deathstroke with sheer mastery of the way of the blade as he unsheathed his Katana.
With skillful swings Deathstroke went on offesnvie agaist Batman but it was not enough Batman was blocking every one of his attacks like bluffs in poker. Then to aghast horror with one swing the Batblade cut through Deathstrokes katana. Deathstroke pulled out his dual pistols and fired rapidly but Batman sliced and diced the bullets out of the air.
"Keep lying yourself, Deathstroke. Imitate bravery against inevitable darkness. But you shall see the truth. Let me lift that veil of lies!" Batman lunged at Deathstroke with Batblade but Deathstroke was not afraid.
Deathstroke pointed finger at Batman with objections. "Ho ho ho Batman you will do nothing of the sort! I know your ultimate weakness."
With that Deathstroke took a deep breath and when he was ready he bellowed out over and over again like machine gun the word
"MARTHA MARTHA MARTHA." Deathstroke spewed and spewed like a burst hydrant but Batman to his shock did not stop in his tracks and continued onwards towards Deathstrokes outstretched arm splitting it into two like a fork in the road.
"Aaaagh how is this possible? My mothers name is Martha so is yours Batman we have to stop fighting and be friends now." Deathstroke begged as Batman began to hack him apart starting with the legs.
"For years that was my crippling weakness! But Batman has no room for weakness so I voercame it." Batman explained as he reduced Deathstroke to a head on a body of stumps. "I realized that if my mother was never shot to death I would not be Batman. I would have grown up another wealthy privileged cisgender white male but with Marthas death I was able to CHECK MY PRIVELEGE. So say that name all you want it only empowers me."
Batman fueled by wokeness had taken Martha back.
And with that, Batman rammed Batblade into Deathstroke good eye killing him and stealing his soul.
"Nooooo Deathstroke I will avenge him!" Booster Gold screamed as he flew in from nowhere and tried to tackle Batman. Seeing the attack coming, Batman jumped out of the way and Booster Gold flew face first into a gargoyle breaking his nose.
Batman then grapple hooked from building to building as Booster Gold wildly fired his gold laser blasts at him. Batman then reached dead end with no more places to swing.
"I should let you know Batman that you were always destined for failure! For I come from the future and I read your defeat in all my history books!" Bragged Booster Gold with predestined bravado. "But little did I know that I would be the one to make killing blow to your tyranny myself!"
Booster Gold charged in with a killing strike but suddenly there was a thunk and Booster Gold was suddenly knocked off course by Batman's remote-controlled Batarang sneakily making its way into his back.
Booster Gold landed next to the gleefully leering Batman. Batman then picked Booster Gold up, ripped off his flight ring, and walked to the edge of the skyscraper.
"How can this be happening! The future… the future…" Booster Gold sputtered as he tried to contain his fear but failed.
"The future is not set in stone but your grave will be." Batman replied with callousness. "Tell me did you see your own name mentioned anywhere in these history books?"
"Oh no." Booster Gold has his sudden realization. That he was never the hero of this story or any story.
"Booster Gold the worst hero no one ever heard of. Your time in the high classes is over. Give my regards to the pavement." With that Batman threw Booster Gold off the building where he screamed all the way down until he became a mac and cheese street pizza. Half of the Justice League of America was now dead at Batmans hands and without hesitation, Batman put on Booster Golds flight ring and went off to eliminate the remaining half.
When Garfield's manly body reconstituted itself after the teleport, he saw that he was in Arkham Asylum. All the cells had been opened and the inmates were running the show here. All of Batmans villains who hadn't been killed off in this story were here and The Riddler's voice came in over the intercom.
"Batman has promised us pardons from our death sentences if we stop Garfield! Lets get him!" Ordered The Riddler to the other inmates who were prowling about, and hundreds of heads turned to gaze at the solitary orange man in their midst with menace.
Soon a queue formed to take on Garfield. Garfield thought about using the Godkiller and his Lantern Arm but decided to not to expend Lantern energy or risk their mad souls warping his being.
"I guess I'll take all of you on the old fashioned way." Said Garfield as he cracked his knuckles and motioned for someone to take the first shot.
"Well well then I call dibs. Your life will make finest mark to my body yet!" Giggled Victor Zsasz as he ripped off his shirt showing scrawny body with millions of cuts on it. Brandishing a knife with murder on mind, Zsasz advanced on Garfield on slashed but Garfield dodged it and grabbed Zsasz's arm wrenching control from him.
"Don't cut yourself on that edge – let me do the honors!" Said Garfield with cutlery as he stabbed Zsaszs knife into his neck and cut all the way downwards like a falling brick ripping open Zsasz like a zipper. As Zsasz made dying gurgles as his insides fell out of him, Garfield barely had time to dodge an ice blast that hit the scarred madman.
Garfield looked up in between dashing from cover to cover as more blasts fired and saw it was Mr. Freeze! Mr. Freeze was on a balcony with his Freeze Gun in hand, loading up more charges.
"You will know in your dying moments that the cold consumes everything Garfield even you." Mr. Freeze said with threats to Garfield.
"Time to break the ice." Garfield blocked another freeze blast using an inmate as human shield, before grabbing Firefly and breaking his neck. Garfield then jumped up to where Mr. Freeze was and made a leak in Firefly's jetpack before pointing it at Mr. Freeze.
"Think this looks rough? I'm just warming up here." Said Garfield with intimidation to other villains as he burned and melted Mr. Freeze with red hot jet fuel.
Garfield then rolled out of the way from several bullets being fired at him. Peeking out from cover, he saw that it was Penguin with his lethal umbrella. Garfield grabbed a .44 Magnum from a dead security guard and fired, but Penguin's umbrella was bulletproof!
"Hoo hoo Garfield you are not messing with amateurs! I am a professional and my umbrellas will stop any bullets!" Penguin crowed with mad confidence as he closed in on Garfield.
"This will rain on your parade. EAT ROCKET." Said Garfield with explosives as he grabbed a heat seeking rocket launcher and fired at the Penguin.
"WAAAUUUUK." Screamed the Penguin with panic as he dove behind cover but it was too late as the rocket got a lock on him and blew Penguin up.
"Who ordered the hot wings?" Asked Garfield with humorful joke as chunks of Penguin rained down on all the other inmates.
Garfield made his way deeper and deeper into Arkham Asylum, trampling over everyone like a runaway circus elephant. Rounding a corner, Garfield suddenly ran into Scarecrow, who quickly whipped out his fear gas can and sprayed it into Garfield's face.
"What's the matter Garfield? Seeing things." Asked the Scarecrow with leering red eyes from underneath his burlap sack mask. "Is my majestic fear gas coursing through your veins as we speak? Oh Garfield don't be afraid. The only thing you have to fear-
"IS GARFIELD!" Garfield cut off Scarecrow with jawbreaking uppercut. Garfield was the bravest man there was and he was the man without fear. Scarecrow's gas had no effect besides irritating him and Garfield was ready to wreak some vengeance on the scrawny strawman.
Garfield tossed Scarecrow into the showers and walked in.
"The fireman is here, get ready to be hosed with JUSTICE." Garfield announced as he broke a showerhead and directed the flow of water at Scarecrow drowning him and filling his body with water until it popped like a balloon.
"They'll have to drop more than soap to clean all this up." Said Garfield with black comedy as he stepped over the bloody remains of Scarecrow.
Garfield then reached the door to the room where Riddler was, but Two-Face was guarding it.
"I'm of two minds Garfield. Heads, I kill you. Tails, I'll let you in. Let Lady Luck decide your fate." Said Two-Face with gambling as he flipped his coin.
"Lady Luck is a hag with sagging breasts and bad teeth. I prefer a wholesome threesome with Lady Bullet and Lady Knuckles." Said Garfield with cultured tastes as he kneecapped Two-Face with his .44 Magnum before decking him in the breadbasket.
"Wait Garfield the coin has landed tails! Please spare me and I will aid you against Riddler!" Two-Face begged like a dirty weasel as he pointed to the coin.
"I need no Benedict Arnolds in my fight against evil. Two-Face now you are No-Face." With that, Garfield put the barrel of his .44 Magnum right on Two-Faces head and blew it clean off.
Garfield kicked down the door, and it hit Riddler in the stomach. Pinned underneath, Ridder grabbed his laser-blasting question mark cane and fired wildly at Garfield like a panicked investor at stock market crash.
"Riddle me this Garfield! What is orange and manly and in merciful mood tonight?" The Riddler asked Garfield as Garfield did an acrobatic dodge jumping over laser blasts and closed in on Riddler.
Garfield grabbed The Riddler and held him up. Garfield thought for a moment thoughtfully before answering the Riddlers last riddle.
"The answer to all mysteries in life is the same: my fist." Garfield then punched The Riddler's head off. With all the obstacles cleared, Garfield searched the office. He then found a teleporter that led directly to the Bat Cave.
"Stabbing straight to the heart of the matter." Garfield commented as he stepped into the teleporter and materialized directly into the Bat Cave. No sooner had Garfield gotten his bearings did he hear the threatening sounds of a gatling gun revving up.
"I am sorry Garfield but I cannot let you meddle in the affairs of my Master any longer." Apologized Alfred with apologetics as he swirled the gun in Garfields direction and began firing.
"Why Alfred why? You could have stopped Batmans evil at anytime but you let it fester and spread like a wildfire." Said Garfield with rage even greater than the untipped pizza man. Unintimidated Garfield swung the Godkiller with lighting reflexes as he advanced knocking all the bullets aside until he reached Alfred and grabbed the butler by the collar.
"Batman has placed a geas on my soul. My ass is grass if I do not obey every command Batman gives me now. " Alfred answered for Garfield with great shame. "Do you know what it is like to walk around all day with magic SEMTEX stuffed up your rectum like a Christmas Turkey and ready to blow at first sign of dissent?"
"Stop being a crybaby drama queen Alfred. Accept your fate and perhaps your cowards soul can work off its criminal debts in the cotton fields of hell." With that Garfield lifted the Godkiller and rammed it right on through Alfred's heart taking his soul.
With Alfred dead Garfield turned on the Batcomputer to track Batman. Looking at a 3D hologram of the city that unfolded before him, Garfield pinpointed Batman's location to his spare penthouse hideout.
At Batman's penthouse Batman was arriving in his elevator with contingencies on his mind. He was confident that he would crush the Justice League of America but one could never be too secure.
"Alfred where is the trigger for Contingency X?" Batman asked to Alfred as he saw the man aimlessly sweeping the place.
"Right there in the wall safe behind the TV." Alfred told Batman as he continued to sweep. As Batman turned his back to Alfred to open the safe, Alfred's broom split apart and transformed into Nightwing's electric sticks.
Alfred raised the sticks to fry Batman from behind like a toaster in the bathtub but suddenly Batman whirled around and smacked Alfred across the cheek with a Batfist.
"Aaaaagh how did you see through my clever disguise Batman?" Alfred asked with fright as Batman ripped off his glasses.
"YOU THINK A PAIR OF GLASSES COULD FOOL THE WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE?" Asked Batman with analyzing as he grabbed Alfred's hair and ripped off his face revealing that it was an elaborate face mask. Alfred was really Nightwing!
"Besides I already have Contingency X in my utility belt. Just like my credit card I never leave the cave without it." Batman told Nightwing revealing that this was a big test and he failed it like the stupid kid who crams the night before.
Batman got ready to deliver some more fresh hot pounding to Nightwings face but Nightwing kicked Batman off him and got into defensive martial arts stance.
"Before I stop you Bruce, I have to know! Why have you become evil?" Nightwing asked Batman as they fought in the penthouse with lightning and thunder outside in the background.
"Do you truly think that what I do is evil Dick? There is no such thing as good and evil. There is only Order and Chaos." Batman unsheathed Batblade and with a single swipe broke Nightwing's sticks into shreds and made bleeding cuts across Nightwing's palms.
"Bruce please if there is any decency left in you stop all of this!" Begged Nightwing with one last appeal to the man he thought Batman once was as Batman had him at his mercy with sword mere decimeters from his neck. "When I was Dick Grayson Age 12 with my world torn asunder you saved me from a path of darkness. Or as sometimes you told me I saved you from that same path. As Batman and Robin we were lights of good shining in the dark of evil. We fought for order and sanity against the chaos and madness brewed in Gotham. But now Batman I see that you have given into the rage and helplessness, the kind that makes good men cruel, that you always warned me about! Batman please can you not see that you have become everything we always hated?"
"We were fools to fight against Chaos. We would be nothing without the grace of Chaos! If not for Chaos, neither our parents would have died. We would have stayed on our current courses and never would our paths have crossed beyond that night at the circus. Without Chaos we would have no supervillains to fight as Batman and Robin. Chaos gives us a purpose, Chaos gives us a life. Dick Grayson, you were my only true friend. You are not living aborted failures like the Robins who followed in your wake. Join me, whether it be as Robin Nightwing or even Batman 2.0, to ravage what little vestiges of Order remain! We shall claim the Multiverse for Barbatos together like the good old days!" Batman offered to Nightwing with the last shred of mercy that existed in his warped heart as he held his hand out to his former partner.
Nightwing however stayed his hand.
"Do what you must, Batman. I see now that the man I loved is dead. Perhaps he never was there to begin with." Spat Nightwing as he accepted his fate.
Batman nodded and sighed as he buried whatever fatherly love he once had for Nightwing in the darkest depths of his madmans heart and readied for dirty deed.
"Farewell then, Boy Wonder." Batman then pulled back Batblade to deliver the killing strike. But in the blink of an eye, Batman found that he had stabbed nothing but empty space! Someone at super-speed had gone in and gotten Nightwing out!
"How dare you steal a soul that I have claimed! Show yourself Garfield!" Batman panicked as he looked around waving Batblade with menace.
"I'm not Garfield but you'll find that I'm just as much trouble." A familiar voice that sent shivers down Batmans spine said. Batman whirled around to the direction of the voice just in time to see a fist traveling at hyper velocity zooming in on him.
Batman was sent flying by the force of the punch through the penthouse window all the way to the rooftop of an abandoned building.
"No it cannot me. I killed you you illegal immigrant scum!" Cried Batman with disbelief as he scrambled to his feet and recognized who his attacker was. And floating down from above was none other than Superman, his eyes burning red with vengeance.
"Yeah you killed me but I got better." Superman then fired his heat vision at Batman but Batman raised Batblade to block the beams.
"Wait Superman lets not get ahead of ourselves here! We may have had our beefs in the past but its all cooled now." Batman sheathed Batblade as soon as there was a break in Superman's heat vision and pulled out a white flag. "My quarrel now is with Garfield not with you. Why don't you just look the other way?"
"Garfield is my friend and when you mess with my friends you mess with me." Replied Superman with true friendship as he advanced menacingly on Batman. Batman pressed a button and drones flew in firing on Superman but the bullets and missiles bounced harmlessly off of him and Superman quickly shot them out of the sky.
"Superman no! If you solve this with violence you are just as bad as those you fight." Batman said with desperation as he pulled from his pocket a certificate signed by President Donald Trump. "Look the President agrees that I am really a very fine person at heart Superman. Perhaps if you just civilly debate me I can change your mind!"
Seeing Batman's desperation and act that could only fool a brain damaged six year old Superman grinned and started to laugh before cracking his knuckles readying for the greatest beatdown since the Battle of Trenton.
"You think you're a very fine person? Batman I have seen the mass graves that you have filled. Evil flows in your veins like salmon in a stream and you dare to think yourself the hero in all this? I can see all the souls stolen swirling about in that evil sword of yours, and I can even see into your very own soul. And the diseased void I see isn't very fine at all! No Batman, the only debate you deserve is whether I punch you with the left or right." Superman readied to slug Batman but suddenly Batman pulled out from his utility belt another trigger.
"So much for the Tolerant Superman. I see you leave me no choice but to use Contingency X." Batman then pressed the button on the trigger, sending out a signal to one of his satellites in space which then sent another signal that activated a stasis pod in one of Batman's secret labs. Cold gasses spewed out as the pod slid open under dimming lights and shaking foundations, and a hulking beast lumbered out, roaring as it came to life. A single command made its way into its simple mind: protect Batman and kill Superman. Like a guided missile, the monster cackled and leapt from below the ground like a demon emerging from hell towards the rooftop where Batman and Superman were.
Contingency X was a grey hulking beast covered head to toe in spikes. It was Doomsday!
"Remember me Superman? I have killed you once and I'm hungry for seconds!" Doomsday said as he stomped the roof denting the building and shaking the Earth.
"Seconds are how long you have to live you abomination." Superman flew at Doomsday with a super-punch.
"Not so fast Superman! I am not just regular Doomsday now Batman has made me Superdoomsday!" Said Doomsday with special attack as he fired kryptonite gas out of his mouth enveloping Superman with the killing green cloud. The gas then morphed forms solidifying into kryptonite chains to slowly and painfully choke the life out of Superman.
"Good work Doomsday!" Batman and Doomsday high-fived and Batman advanced on Superman with Batblade in hand as the chains forced Superman to the ground. "Know this as I add your soul to the collection that this was always meant to be. I always was a thousand times more of man than you."
But then Batman froze in his tracks and his heart skipped a beat. Superman was not in any pain at all from the kryptonite even with it wrapped all around him. Superman then winked at Batman and Doomsday as slowly he rose to his feet.
"How is this possible Batman kryptonite should be killing Superman it did it before?" Doomsday turned to Batman with complete confusion.
"What kills you only makes you stronger. And now Kryptonite harms me NEVERMORE!" Superman then broke off the kryptonite chains and went supernova as he did creating a blinding light of energy that blasted Batman and Doomsday back.
As Batman's eyes cleared, he saw flames burning in front of him. Bald Eagles flew through the flames as heavy metal music played and Superman walked through the fire unharmed as he reloaded his fists.
"Take a knee! Or two!" Quipped Superman with even more timely left pandering humor as he first went to Doomsday and heat-visioned the Monsters legs off from below the knees before bludgeoning Doomsday to death with his severed legs. Superman then turned to Batman.
"You dare call yourself a man Batman? You were never a man. A real man's strength comes not from anger and hatred as yours does, but love for what matters to him. But you know nothing of it. So I'll give you a crash course on the power of love. Emphasis on crash." Superman said with complete dedication to his role as Earth and Mankinds protector as he lifted Batman by the neck and then punched him through several floors of building.
Flying down Superman proceeded to open up a can of beatdown on Batman like he was the Ottoman Empire and Batman was a million and a half Armenians. After about a thousand unanswered punches Superman grabbed Batman by his cape and swung him through several pillars, before headbutting him so hard his cowl was disintegrated from existence.
"Without any silly toys and dirty tricks to protect yourself Batman is no more than a man-baby in hockey pads wailing and ignorantly denying his own impotence." Said Superman with the truth of Batman as he through Batman threw several walls.
"Shut up Superman! I have had it with your mockery!" Batman took grabbed Batblade as Superman flew towards him. "I never wanted to kill you because you were threat to world! No it was because if there even just a one percent chance anyone was manlier than me I had to destroy them! NO ONE CAN BE BETTER THAN BATMAN."
"You can at least try to die with dignity Batman. But perhaps that is word too hard for brainless amoeba like yourself." Superman pulled back for a punch but Batman was faster as he called upon the blessings of the Dark Multiverse and plunged Batblade forwards towards Superman's heart.
There was a silence, a dreaded vibration in the air as the tip of Batblade sailed towards Superman. But all these ominous feelings quickly dissipated like ice cream under a hot sun as Batblade failed to penetrate with the unmovable powerhouse that was Superman.
"IMPOSSIBILITIES! Not even Garfield is immune to Batblade!" Batman's eyes widened like a deer in headlights as he tried to stab Superman over and over again like a gambler in casino but each time his sword failed to hurt Superman in the slightest like throwing snowballs at a volcano.
"Perhaps men can fall to this evil sword. But you forget that I'm more than just a man. I'M SUPERMAN." Said Superman with peak masculinity and with a single Kryptonian Karate Chop he broke the blade of Batblade into fragments.
"This is not over Superman! I'll have the last laugh yet!" Batman squealed like cheating husband trying to save face as he scooped up the remains of Batblade like the garbageman he was before pressing a button on his utility belt and teleported away with such cowardice he made the French look brave.
"Oh it definitely is, Batman." Said Superman with a small smile as he dusted himself off casually. "Because your humiliation here was just appetizers and now Garfield will serve you the main course of ultimate defeat."
With that Superman flew off into the Gotham nigh to reunite with his surviving friends and together they would march and liberate the world from the grasp of Chaos.
To be concluded…