Garfield League of America Chapter Fifteen: The Final Battle Part Two – Showdown for the Fate of All Worlds!
Superman was taking a leisurely stroll to Wayne Manor to catch up with Garfield when suddenly he stopped in his tracks. Emerging from the shadowy alleyways around him were Wonder Woman Aquaman Cyborg and The Flash!
"The original Justice League! You are all still alive?" Superman asked them with surprises.
"Yes Superman we were never actually really dead and Batman was never really evil. This was all just a prank." Explained Wonder Woman was jawdropping revelations.
"Please Superman you must stop Garfield he has overreacted to all this." Begged The Flash like unemployed laborer camped outside the grocery store.
"It is true Garfield cannot take a joke like the dolphin cannot play baseball." Said Aquaman with agreements.
"If you do I'll give you some sexy as reward." Wonder Woman removed her brassiere and shook breasts at Superman with luscious temptations. "Forget your old girlfriend together Wonder Woman and Superman will be greatest love ship of all time."
"That ship has sunk without even leaving port." Superman remarked as he looked over the Justice League once before he grabbed Wonder Woman stuck his fingers in the kitty fountain and ripped her in half. But what came out of Wonder Woman was not blood but instead clay!
"As I suspect you are about as much Justice League as I am shedding porcupine in heat! You thought you could fool me, DOPPELGANGER?" Said Superman with no gullibility.
"Curses Superman! How did you know?" Asked Wonder Woman as her body and the rest of the Justice League devolved back into clay and gathered together to become his true form of Clayface. "My acting was more perfect than Academy Award Winner!"
"You forgot one thing: X-RAY VISION IS IMMUNE TO YOUR CHARMS." Superman laughed with his superpowers as his eyes turned red once more. "Now I'll show you how I cook lasagna for my Ma!"
Superman baked Clayface with heat vision until the criminal shapeshifter had hardened.
"Alas you are my masterpiece but like Picasso sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do." Said Superman looking over Clayface with artistic regrets before unleashing mighty roundhouse kick that shattered Clayface into a trillion subatomic fragments destroying him for good. With the threat taken care of Superman continued on his way.
Meanwhile at Wayne Manor Batman was rushing halls and room through in a franticness, paranoidly waving Batblade which he had put back together with superglue and duct tape around as his head darted left and right hearing and seeing phantom Garfields everywhere.
Batman then heard giggling and moaning of pleasure coming from the room where he had moved his slave harem for safeties when the assault on Gotham ahd began.
"BETRAYAL." Batman raged like a mongoose in traffic as he kicked down the door. Sitting in the middle of the room on several exotic silk cushions was Garfield sipping scotch, holding Talia Al Ghul and Catwoman in his arms as they fed him lasagna-dipped grapes. All of Batman's other women like Harley Quinn Katana and Batwoman were busily fanning Garfield with big leaves.
"Hello Batman you were late so I hope you do not mind that I helped myself to your refreshments." Said Garfield with a taunting wink as Catwoman and Talia Al Ghul nestled their welcoming bosoms against Garfield's rugged and masculine cheeks.
"GARFIEEEEEELD." Batman went frothy with rage seeing the pleasure and happiness of his women as they touched Garfield and he sprang at his orange superior with his cursed blade in hand.
"Better dip ladies, I got a Bat to break." Garfield ushered the women to safety and they scattered as Garfield brought up the Godkiller to block Batblade.
The twin blades of two Multiverses sang a discordant symphony of eternal hatred and strife as Batman and Garfield clashed. Garfield found himself fighting a war on two fronts, the exterior and the interior. Like a bucking pony on bath salts he found the Godkiller harder to control and the sword seemed to be exerting a will of its own as the proximity to Batblade began to drive it mad.
"Damn am I controlling the sword or is it controlling me?" Said Garfield with frustrations as his arm suddenly went limp right as he tried to make defensive form.
"You failure Garfield without allegiance to its roots of Order the Godkiller rejects you! But Batblade and I are united in Chaos!" Said Batman with chaos emanating from his body like a purple bat-shaped aura as he brought Batblade down on Garfield several times making cuts against his chest.
"I've united with something better than Order. THE UNITED STATES!" Garfield cried as he used his Patriotism to get a second wind and force Godkiller under his control temporarily. Lunging forward Garfield made a swipe that cut across Batman's side. As Batman was distracted Garfield uppercutted him through the roof of Wayne Manor.
Garfield leapt through the hole with a superjump to follow after Batman but when Garfield landed on the roof he saw that Batman had taken a hostage. It was Lois Lane, intrepid Pulitzer winning reporter for the Daily Planet! All around them was red skies and flashes of lighting as rain fell in a torrent.
"You just could not let bygones be bygones Garfield! You just had to try to stop me! Now do you see what you have made me do?" Batman asked he held a batarang menacingly next to Lois Lanes throat.
"Nooooo help me Garfield!" Lois Lane said with womanly fright.
"Lois Lane! She is #1 reporter of truths in all America in age where fake evil enabling news like Fox News and the New York Times run rampant." Said Garfield with appreciation of good journalism. "Batman you jumped up bottom feeder let her go!"
"Poor choice of words Garfield! But I'll oblige your request!" Said Batman with insane grinning as he used his Dark Multiverse magic to raise the height of Wayne Manor to skyscraper levels. Batman then tossed Lois Lane off the roof.
"BAAAAAATMAAAAAAN. YOU BETTER JUMP ON MY SWORD NOW FOR I WON'T BE AS GENTLE." Garfield yelled with ire more fiery than the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius and he and Batman ran at each other with furies of new heights. Lighting crackled and centered on the two combatants as they fought, and the storm of the century swirled around Wayne Manor.
Meanwhile Lois Lane was falling to her doom. Her life flashed before her eyes and with regrets tears flowed from her closed eyes for she would reach such an ignoble end for such a lovely life she had led. But before she could go splat on the bitumen as she expected, Lois Lane suddenly felt the sensation of falling upwards.
The familiar feeling of flying without a wings in the strong arms of a strong man.
"What's happening?" Lois Lane asked but when she opened her eyes she saw her answers in the s-shaped emblem that meant hope. Superman had rescued Lois Lane from certain doom once more!
"Clark Kent the Superman! You are alive!" Lois Lane squealed with joy for the first time in many months.
"I told you that this is my world, that you are my world. Death would never keep me from the love of my life." Superman told Lois Lane as he kissed her in mid-air. "To be with you I punched my way out of Hell itself back into the world of the living. Your love and my memory of the joyous days we spent together gave me the power to make triple decker ice cream cone out of the Lords of Hell Lucifer, Neron, and The First of the Fallen themselves when they tried to get in my way."
Author's Note: The reason that Superman was in hell and not heaven was because he believes in the blasphemous Kryptonian deity Rao and not our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
"Oh Superman you are such a romantic! But I fear that it is not much of a world anymore!" Said Lois Lane with grief as she pointed to all the devastation Batman had wrought upon Earth.
"Don't worry, Lois Lane. I'll make sure Batman pays for all these damages with his life." Superman flew up to the roof to join Garfield in the fight against Batman but Batman and Garfield were nowhere in sight! There was only a single gift-wrapped present that ominously had Batman's logo stamped all over it.
"Oh no Superman where could they have gone? They were fighting furiously here mere minutes ago!" Asked Lois Lane with cautious wondering.
"Bad news everyone!" Nightwing said to them as he ran up with alarms. "Batman has pulled Garfield into the Dark Multiverse with him!"
"Dammit not the Dark Multiverse!" Superman slammed his fist down in anger. "Is there no way we can follow them to help Garfield?"
"I am sorry only Batman had the only key." Nightwing sighed before he noticed Lois Lane picking up the gift.
"No Lois Lane don't do it!" Superman and Nightwing warned but it was too late Lois Lane's womanly intuition curiosity had clouded her judgment and she opened up the gift.
Inside was a Wayne Industries smartphone that was activate by the opening of the gift. The screen flashed and soon an automated voicemail by Batman began to play.
"Hello Superman you stupid head if you're hearing then that means Garfield has been taken by Contingency Y and you have activated Contingency Z."
"Contingency Z that does not sound good." Lois Lane asked with regrets for her feminine stupidity.
"Indeed. Z is the last letter of alphabet and whatever it is you can bet Batman planned a bang." Nightwing mused with disgust at both Lois Lane for starting this mess and Batman for preparing it.
"You may remember that I had a man-made planet blot out the sun earlier but now I have primed it to collide into Earth and blow. It will be a Big Bang that will wipe out the entire galaxy. If I cannot have this world I will take you all with me." Cackled the voice of Batman from the smartphone. "You can try to stop me Superman but even all your feats will not have prepared you to move a planet!"
"We're all doomed." Lois Lane said with giving up.
"See you all in Hell!" Said Batman's voice on the smartphone before it exploded.
"I've just gotten back from Hell and I've no plans of round trip." Said Superman with defiance as he started formulating possible plans on the fly in his head.
"Perhaps if Batman has not booby-trapped the spaceship bay in Wayne Manor we may have enough time to try and evacuate as many people as we can off-galaxy." Nightwing suggested with escape plan.
"No Nightwing. This is our world. We have sacrificed too much to just throw it away now at the whims of a grown man in a Bat costume." Said Superman as he looked up towards the stars and instantly Lois Lane guessed what he was planning.
"No Superman don't do it. Please stay with me. Forget this world it has had its chance. Lets just leave forever. I cannot stand to lose you after I have just gotten you back." Begged Lois Lane with weak womanly needs as she fell onto Supermans chest and threw arms around him for clinging.
"When I was a boy my father told me that one day I would have to make a choice. That I would have to decide what kind of man I was going to grow up to be. Good or bad, I would change the world. Lois Lane, that day has finally come. To decide what sort of man I will be. For years I second-guessed my purpose constantly, wondering if I had done more ill than chill. But now I'm sure that I am Superman and proud of it. And Superman never gives up and runs away. Do not worry Lois Lane I'll be back." Superman put comforting arm around Lois Lane and kissed her on forehead.
"You must admit Superman pushing back an entire planet is an impossible task!" Interrupted Nightwing with no helpfulness at all.
"Impossible?" To that Superman shrugged, winked, and laughed before he knelt down with one fist on ground readying for flight into space. "Well when you put it like that… SOUNDS LIKE JUST THE JOB FOR ME."
With a sonic boom, Superman burst into the sky, flying higher and higher until he was gone into outer space like a twinkling star.
"You better come back Superman! I'm holding you to that like the gallows hold the deadmen!" Lois Lane cried to the heavens. Though she was worried, hope and optimism swirled in her heart and somehow she knew that all would be okay.
In outer space faster than a speeding nuke Superman approached Planet Bat, the man-made artificial planet Batman had made to block out the sun and now had set to explode the Earth. Even Superman almost broke a sweat as he saw the sheer scale of the task ahead of him.
Planet Bat had already destroyed or knocked out of orbit the other planets of the Solar System with its constantly increasing mass, and at the rate that it was growing soon the entire Milky Way would be orbiting it.
Ahead of Superman were the Green Lantern Corps desperately in vain trying to stop Planet Bat as it plummeted towards Earth.
"Come on good friends! Let's use our brains to make chains to rain pain on vain Planet Bat!" Ordered Hal Jordan with rhyming physics as the Green Lanterns combined their willpower energy to create massive chains and hooked them up to the stray planets Neptune, Saturn, and Jupiter.
The Green Lanterns swung the planets like flails against Planet Bat but it was futile as the planets just bounced off Planet Bat like basketballs on the chessboard and shattered into deadly shrapnel that turned hundreds of Green Lanterns red.
"Do not fear! Surely this faking fake faker planet cannot withstand the power of Mogo the Living Planet Lantern!" Said Mogo as he overcharged his Green Lantern ring and flew planet-first into Planet Bat but even Mogo was not strong enough to defeat the machinery of Batman and he splattered all over the surface of Planet Bat like stray splooge.
"No not Mogo he was our heaviest hitter!" Wept John Stewart with despair to Hal Jordan. "There is nothing we can do now!"
"There is still something you can do and that is leave things to me." Hal Jordan and John Stewart whipped their heads around to see who this confident all-American manly voice belonged to. Speeding in to the rescue like a flaming comet from the heavens was Superman in iconic flying Superman pose!
"Look it is Superman! We are saved!" Cried out Green Lantern Kyle Rayner with recognition and he pulled his sketchpad for posterity.
"Indeed you are my eco friendly star pals!" Said Superman with fly-by greetings to the Green Lanterns. "Now stand back and take a well-earned breather cause I got this!"
Approaching Planet Bat at beyond mach speeds, Superman pulled back his fist back and punched Planet Bat with more velocity than a computer thrown off the Empire State. Planet Bat skidded to a halt but before cheering could begin, the stilling was only temporary as Planet Bat slowly begin to stir back to killing life.
"You will not have this day Batman! Planet Bat will be in dead orbit soon!" Swore Superman with determination as he placed both hands on Planet Bat and pushed back against the colossal planet base that was a sextillionth times his size.
Superman's muscles strained to the max as he used every single cell in his body pushing back Planet Bat. To encourage himself Superman began to mentally hum a heavy metal and hard rock mash-up of John Williams and Hans Zimmers Superman theme songs in his head.
Tendrils of Dark Multiverse energy flowed from the core of Planet Bat and wrapped themselves around Superman as he struggled. Gritting his teeth, Superman was awash with pure evil sensations. Superman realized that the Dark Multiverse was the inverse of our universe, that Batman had harnessed and made tools out of the liquid soup of our fears and hatreds. The Dark Multiverse was how Batman saw the world, how he wanted it to be.
"You underestimate the good that humanity has done Batman. THE GREATNESS THAT WE ARE CAPABLE OF!" Superman shouted with defiance that could be heard even as far as the Heavens and the Dreaming like a victorious lion over the kill as he froze the Dark Multiverse energy with his freeze breath and then destroyed it with syllables.
Knowing how to finally defeat Planet Bat, Superman focused his mind like Garfield had taught him. To harness his inner chi and expand it like an American Fast Food Franchise across the globe. Superman could feel the evil that humanity had done, and would do. But Superman brushed disgust and cynicism aside. For men could change the world with their hatred, their brutality but they could also change it with their love and kindness.
"I will give you the best of us you metallic eyesore! And you will wish you stayed home like an anime fan on prom night!" Superman cried as he focused the swirling energies he had gathered and shot them like a needle full of viruses into Planet Bat. Planet Bat rumbled and shrieked like army barracks razed with a flamethrowers as anti-Dark Multiverse energy coursed through it until finally it shut down and went dark like New York City in blackout. Planet Bat shrunk as its power leaked out of it like water in a cracked toilet.
"You have stumbled and fallen. But now it is time for you to join me in the sun." Said Superman with callback to his other dads words. As the sun silhouetted Superman in the background grabbed Planet Bat and with a mighty heave hoisted the entire planet above his head.
As the Green Lantern Corps applauded and cheered Superman on, Superman dropkicked Planet Bat into the sun.
"I declare this a touchdown for humanity!" Said Superman with sports and gratitude to humanity for on this day they had helped him accomplish wonders as Planet Bat sailed into the sun and was destroyed, ending Batman's evil plot to destroy the galaxy.
"You have done it Superman! You have saved the galaxy!" Congratulated Hal Jordan as he flew up to Superman and they shook hands.
"Its not over yet Garfield still needs to apply finishing touches. But lets not doddle here any longer I got a firestarter babe back on Earth whose thirst can only be quenched by my deluxe and freshly squeezed Kryptonian love juice." Superman winked to the Green Lanterns who hooted and whistled him on as they flew back to Earth.
Cutting to the Dark Multiverse Garfield was coming to.
"This is one hell of a hangover and the only cure is the head of Batman." Grumbled Garfield with a headache as he tried to remember what had happened. He could see in his memories in the midst of their climatic fight that Batman called like a coward cheater to his patron god Barbatos and opened a portal to the Dark Multiverse that sucked them both in.
Garfield saw the Godkiller fallen a few feet away and with his Lantern Arm grabbed it from afar. As the Godkiller landed in his spare hand, Garfield realized something was off. The Godkiller normally augmented his strength, making Garfield feel even stronger and manlier than he normally was. But the flowing song of souls within the sword that granted that power felt ebbed and faint in the Dark Multiverse.
"This entire hellhole ought to be bulldozed and then nuked for good measure." Garfield commented as he began his stroll through the Dark Multiverse in search of Batman.
The Dark Multiverse was a living cacophony, a mad painters dreamscape that broke and changed with every moment of perception. Unlike the normal Multiverse, the barriers between worlds were nonexistent here and an infinite ocean of fallen existences crashed and bled together in a tsunami of Chaos.
Traveling for what was perhaps seconds or millennia through boiling discord and fighting his way through hordes of damnation incarnate, Garfield finally reached his destination, a big castle in the middle of a sea of red that had the words "The Batcastle" written on in large font bolded Comic Sans.
"Just like this Lincoln Log travesty I will take your life apart piece by piece Batman." Said Garfield with demolitions as he broke down the front door like a wrecking ball and walked through the hallway. The hallway was decorated with testaments to Batman's egomania and evils. There were paintings and plaques wall to wall dotted with Batmans trivial achievements from inconsequential episodes such as Year One and The Long Halloween.
"A swollen head just makes a bigger explosion when I shoot it." Garfield said as he reached the throne room and saw Batman sitting in the throne with Batblade in his lap.
"Look who is talking Garfield. This is all your fault you know." Said Batman calmly with deflections. "Listen up Garfield for I have a dark secret to tell you."
"Even at the end you refuse to accept responsibility. You murdered ninety-nine point nine percent of the world because you were jealous I was manlier than you and you dare to pass the blame to me?" Garfield growled with righteous indignation.
"It is not just because you and Superman were manlier than me but it was great additional motivator I must admit. No Garfield I wage war on you because it is a matter of family honor." Batman then pressed a button on his wrist and a giant curtain in the back parted ways revealing a painting of young Bruce Wayne with his parents and his grandfather who had a shocking familiarity for Garfield.
"No it cannot be your grandfather is" Garfield began with horror as he recognized his ultimate archenemy but Batman finished the sentence for him.
"Yes Garfield my grandpappy is none other than your old enemy Odie. My mothers family the Kanes were in Jewish Concentration Camp during World War II and Odie was a donor to Nazi Science Breeding Experiments. My mother Martha was half-breed of Humankind and Caninekind." Batman revealed with the darkest of secrets. "It is not the deaths of my parents that motivated me to become Batman really. In fact Odie was the one who pulled the trigger on them. It was all tough love just to toughen me up and for that I loved him. Garfield the real reason that I became Batman was to AVENGE ODIE'S DEATH AT YOUR DAMNED HANDS."
"So that is why you were always failure as a man. Because you may look the part but you are no more than a quarter-mutt in the end." Taunted Garfield with provoking of the situation.
"Laugh if you must Garfield. Because you are frog in boiling pot of water who dose not know he is already dead." Batman chuckled maliciously as he unsheathed his sword and began to stroll slowly towards Garfield.
"Even after his death Odie's legacy has lingered far too long in my world! You are the final tree in this forest of evil I will fell in the name of Justice!" Garfield held the Godkiller proud and high and ran screaming like the Apache Warrior towards Batman.
"But you forget your place Garfield! This is not your world. This is the Dark Multiverse. The home of Barbatos, the Bat God of Darkness! Like your old foe Binky the Clown, Barbatos is vessel of the Crawling Chaos that rules all! THIS IS MY WORLD!" Said Batman with Chaos Powers as he used his mastery over the rules of the Dark Multiverse to wash out the world and reshape Batcastle into a stage fitting for a final battle.
Garfield and Batman were then on a large flat platform flying high above the rest of the Dark Multiverse. It was the stage chosen for the final battle, Final Destination.
Eldritch horrors swam and living lightning zig-zagged all around Garfield and Batman as they began to fight. With ferocious passion Garfield swung Godkiller at Batman and blocked Batman's attacks with Batblade but even more than before something felt off.
"What has happened to my mighty Godkiller Sword?" Garfield fumed with frustrations as the Godkiller felt like a dead lead weight in his hands and the souls that powered the blade had gone flaccid.
"Don't you know Garfield? The Godkiller is a sword of Order but this is the realm of Chaos! You rejected an alliance with Order and so the sword has no anchor unlike Batblade and I! Now Garfield prepare to be consumed faster than a hot dog cart in Koreatown!" Batman lunged at Garfield with a downwards slash but Garfield managed to jump out of the way in time.
"I have a few more tricks up my sleeve!" Said Garfield with back-up plan as he fired rocket constructs from his Lantern Arm at Batman but he was too slow as Batman took to the air in flight and dodged the rockets.
"Ah the power of Green Lanterns! Too bad Garfield that all colors in the end return to black – BLACK FOR BATMAN!" Batman snickered as Batblade began to glow red and Garfield could see its stolen souls emanating around it like moths around candlelight. "TAKE THIS GARFIELD: CHAOS SOUL DISCHARGE!"
From high above Batman fired a stream of corrupted souls at Garfield's Lantern Arm. Soon Garfield's Lantern Arm was taken over by the powers of the Dark Multiverse. It began to rot and turn into a Black Lantern Arm!
"Better take no chances with Black." Garfield quickly lifted the Godkiller and cut off his Lantern Arm before the infection of Chaos could spread to the rest of his body. Now Garfield was single-armed again with just a sword that could not put out to stand against the Peak of Chaos.
"You idiot Garfield always bet on Black!" Batman socked Garfield across the jaw with a swoop coming from his now defenseless left side and sent him flying to a hard landing.
"Oof." Garfield tried to recover but suddenly Batman was pinning him to the ground with his boot.
"At last, to put this farce to a close." Said Batman as he began the evil speech bad guys always do when they have heroes at their mercy. "Standing here, Garfield, I realize that you are just like me. Trying to make history. We have both carved our path in blood to make it here, but in the end there can only be one. It has to be this way, you dead at my hands."
"We are nothing alike you unkempt roach!" Garfield insisted as he tried to go for the Godkiller to stab into Batman's neck but it had fallen out of his reach.
"Are we so different now Garfield? You too have known loss and that loss torments you still! We both tried to replace our pain with hatred, but it never goes away! My hatred turned me into a demon, Garfield. Only with your death will I be able to find rest and end my nightmares!" Batman then telekinetically summoned Godkiller into his hand. "At last, the twin blades of two Multiverses united."
Batman then used black magic ritual to fuse Godkiller and Batblade into a single sword – Evil Excalibur! Helpless Garfield could only watch cosmic miscegenation unfold as Batman began to crash Multiverse and the Dark Multiverse against each other. Soon enough the barriers would fall and the horrors of the Dark Multiverse would spill into unsuspecting and defenseless worlds as Batman remade existence in Odie's image.
"Not how you expected your end Garfield is it? That your legend ends with not with triumph but with the greatest of failures?" Said Batman with sneering contempt. "No last minutes save for you this time, Garfield. I wish you could stay and see the end, but the final ingredient for my brew of victory requires the soul of the manliest man there ever was."
"Even in victory you cannot help but admit I was always your better Batman. Well then I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON MY SOUL." Said Garfield with defiant last words as Batman raised the Steel of the Bat God and plunged it into his heart. Despite that, there was no pain. No dying for Garfield and his soul stayed where it was.
"No this cannot be Garfield you should be dead! HOW DO YOU SURVIVE MY POWER?" Batman snarled as he began stabbing Garfield again and again but Garfield continued to live despite his wounds. Garfield then heard the souls singing to him everytime the blade penetrated him and recognized the one whose voice sang the gentlest yet loudest. A soul that was fighting with all its power to hold back the cursed sword. And he understood the meaning of words that had been spoken to him.
"You were at my side all along." Said Garfield with a whisper of realization as he felt his strength reignite like dynamite going explode. And the next time Batman's sword plunged down, Garfield made daring maneuver and grabbed the blade. Focusing on thoughts of Wonder Woman, Garfield's wounds began to heal themselves as souls from the cursed weapon leaked into his body. Batman's eyes widened in disbelief before there was a flash of white light that blasted Batman off Garfield.
As Batman came to, he saw that Evil Excalibur had been destroyed and that the souls it had stolen while it was two had moved into Garfield. Reinvigorated by the cleansing power of souls, Garfield had been reborn and his body shined a aweinspiring and masculine gold aura.
"I was worried that I would only be able to BREAK YOUR FACE with just one fist when its EVEN FUNNER WITH TWO." Garfield said with delighted bloodlust as he saw that his left arm had returned. Garfield then ripped off his eye-patch, and saw that his lost eye had been rebuilt as well.
"This is not possible! I did all as the Prophecy decreed! We are both Eternal Champions, slaves to the terms of our destiny!" Whined Batman with petulant shock as he started backing away.
"Prophecies are the crutches of fools in denial and drunk cowards." Said Garfield defying destiny as Wonder Woman's bracelets materialized in the air in front of Garfield. "Consider this a divorce from destiny."
"But how Garfield did you destroy both Godkiller and Batblade and steal their souls for yourself?" Batman said with needing to know before he met his untimely end.
"True Romance is stronger than any silly Prophecy." And that was all that Garfield said to Batman of the matter as Wonder Woman's bracelets transformed into a pair of Desert Eagles. Garfield then grabbed the Desert Eagles and made a quip.
"Love will tear you apart, Batman."
"NOOOOO." Said Batman as Garfield shot his body full of bullets and then he fell.
Garfield then lifted Batman high up above his head.
"No Garfield please reconsider! I just did all this because I was unloved as a child!" Batman begged for mercy with another inconsistent multiple choice excuse for his evil as he sobbed.
"Your grandfather Odie used to be my friend. And know what the great thing about friends is? THEY ALWAYS HAVE EACH OTHERS BACKS." Said Garfield with funny joke that was also callback to tragic Jon Arbuckle death from earlier as he brought Batman onto his knee for a backbreaker.
"Aaaaagh." Batman cried with broken back as Garfield tossed him onto the ground. Batman tried to crawl away, even though there was nowhere to run to.
"You were unloved? Then how about I set you up on BLIND DATE with DEATH?" Garfield said with fatality to Batman as he kicked him off the edge of Final Destination to his death.
"DAMN YOU GARFIELD! YOU MAY HAVE DEFEATED ME BUT BARBATOS AND ODIE WILL RETURN!" Batman screamed with gibbering insanity as he fell forever. As Batman died, Garfield thought he saw above him Barbatos Manifest Itself in a form familiar to Garfield, that of Binky the Clown, before morphing into a giant bat. Barbatos roared with anger and for a moment Garfield thought the fight was far from finished.
But Barbatos knew that it was outclassed by Garfield with its greatest champion dead, and thus the Chaos Deity fled to an uncharted plane of the Multiverse.
With the threat of Batman taken care of, Garfield turned his attention to the power of the souls within him. He knew that he could reshape the world for Order and evil like Batman and Odie would never appear. It would be a cruel world of utter rigidity, but a world that quashed the evil capabilities of man. It had been done so many times before in previous lives, by previous Champions. Order would reign for a time, until the Cycle inevitably began again.
"No. Men are still good." Garfield said with final rejection of Order. "What matters more than Order or Chaos is Freedom. The freedom to choose, and the freedom to take responsibility for our actions. Mankind may make messes, but we always make damn sure to fix them. What I wish for is no more than a happy ending."
Garfield then concentrated the souls flowing within him and with one powerful clap of his hands, destroyed the Dark Multiverse and perhaps the entirety of the Eternal Cycle of the War Between Order And Chaos forever.
When Garfield came to, he was standing in his backyard in the middle of a prime time BBQ party.
All of the hot superhero women Garfield had met during his adventure were here. Some were skinny dipping in the pool and splashing each other, while others were hot oil wrestling naked. All waved to Garfield and giggled as he glanced in their directions.
"Here comes the man of the hour!" Announced a familiar voice that Garfield thought he would never hear again. It was Jon Arbuckle alive and in the flesh!
"Jon Arbuckle my oldest friend you are alive!" Said Garfield with friendship as he and Jon Arbuckle high-fived.
"It is all thanks to you Garfield! You have rebuilt our Multiverse and brought a lot of dead people back to life." Jon Arbuckle said with congratulations. Another man then walked up to them. It was real Hollywood director Zack Snyder!
"Hello Garfield I have seen your fight to save the world on TV and it has impressed me greatly! Please let me make real Hollywood movie about your exploits." Proposed Zack Snyder with moviemaking.
"Very well if there is anyone who can do my story justice it is you Zack Snyder. Watchmen Directors Cut is cinematic masterpiece eclipsed only by Duck, You Sucker!" Agreed Garfield to Zack Snyder as they shook on it with their muscular bodybuilder arms. "In fact why don't we get production started now?" Garfield stated as his life could never be done justice by fiction only by reality pointing to Lois Lane running up to them for reporting.
"What will you be doing now Garfield? This newsgal wants to know badly." Asked Lois Lane with interviewing as she ran up to Garfield with a microphone and Zack Snyder filmed Garfield as he did manly muscle poses.
"And what would you do for the inside scoop?" Said Garfield winking with playful seduction as he pointed to his pants for Lois Lane while Jon Arbuckle and Zack Snyder whistled giving him thumbs ups.
"I'm sorry Garfield but someone else has already broken that story." Lois Lane replied with sassiness as she pulled out a Wedding Ring and on cue Superman flew in accompanied by Cyborg, Green Lantern Hal Jordan, and Nightwing.
"I'll take that ring as a yes." Said Superman with romantic closure as he scooped Lois Lane up in his all-Americans arms of macho truth and justice and kissed her. Everyone clapped while Garfield nodded in approval.
"Very well I will not get in the way of my friend's woman." Garfield accepted with honorable manliness before turning his attention to the swimming pool packed with superheroines just waiting their turn to be a bad girl under the sheets for a day. "Besides I am not a beggar for loving here."
"Don't worry Garfield I'm sure along the way Lois Lane will have some steamy stories leaking!" Superman reassured Garfield with favors before he embraced Lois Lane and flew off to a private Caribbean Island for their passionate month-long honeymoon. Garfield waved good-bye until Superman and Lois Lane could not be seen anymore.
"Well then where to start. Keep the camera rolling, Zack Snyder, cause this Love Monsoon will be a sight for the ages." Said Garfield with choices as he turned his attention to all the babes present. There was the feisty feline with a fantastic fanny Catwoman, the tempting tit-tastic tempest Talia Al Ghul, the salacious seductive siren Mera, the busty-bosomed black belt Black Canary, the lightweight but lethal Jessica Cruz, the boisterous big breasted Big Barda, and so much more.
"How about some of Ma's rural delights? I must repay you for being great friend and mentor to my son Superman any way I can." Said a new voice that was aged in comparison to Garfields usual fare but still filled with sexual delicacy. Garfield turned around and saw that it was Martha Kent mother of Superman!
"Sure why not. But be warned I am no simple Cowpoke. I am the Cattle Prod of Gods." Said Garfield as he brought Martha Kent in close and thrusted against her dryly to let her know what tornados of lust she was in for.
"Oooh Garfield I don't mind. This ain't my first Rodeo. Buck me and break me like there's no tomorrow. Make this ol cowgirl jump over the Moon." Martha Kent said longingly as she reached out to touch Garfield but suddenly a familiar feminine hand grabbed her arm firmly.
"Now what did I tell you about seeing other women?" Asked the resurrected Wonder Woman as she checked out Martha Kent. Garfield only shrugged and looked on with amusement and beckoned for the other men at the party to come closer.
"That I would get to see them first!" Wonder Woman said with sordid bisexuality as she and Martha Kent began to make out.
"Ooh Juicy Lucy I will pick your fruits barer than a plague of locusts and milk you drier than Prohibition!" Moaned Martha Kent with heated eagerness as she pushed Wonder Woman down and made love to the Amazon Princess from the top. Soon all the women were joining in making this a sexy superheroine showdown for the ages. Hair was pulled, lips were smacked, rear cheeks were slapped, and anything that could be fondled was fondled.
"It's good to be me." Said Garfield as he took some lasagna and hard whiskey out for snacking as the show went on.
Though the last words of Batman lingered on his mind, Garfield was not worried. For whenever evil threatened America, Garfield knew that he and the Justice League of America would be there to stop it. Assured and satisfied, Garfield finished his lasagna and whiskey, and proceeded to unbutton his shirt to commence some superpowered lovemaking that would rock and roll the entire Multiverse.
The End...?