Chapter 41
A few weeks later Michelle was standing at the doors to the Hospital wing. She was scared to walk through them. She didn't know why. She had been feeling very sick for a long time. In fact since she had gotten back to school. For a while she had felt better then at Christmas it came back. She took a deep breath and opened the doors. As she walked through she could see a fifth year with boils all over his face lying in a bed at the far end of the room - he looked in a lot of pain. Michelle took a deep breath. Madame Pomfrey was standing over the young boy and she looked at Michelle as she walked towards her.
"Yes dear, how can I help you?" The nurse asked politely. Michelle took a deep breath.
"I-I umm haven't been feeling well recently and I um don't know what's wrong with me." Michelle stuttered awkwardly. Madame Pomfrey looked at her then gave her a warming smile.
"Well, why don't you take a bed and I will find out what is wrong." The Matron said comfortingly. Michelle nodded then walked towards the closest bed and sat down. She looked round the hospital wing and sighed. Whatever was wrong with her she was sure to find out very soon.
Later that afternoon James and Lily were sitting at a table in the Library doing their Potions homework.
"You know we could just do this back at my dorm." James whispered into Lily's ear as he hooked an arm around her waist. Lily gave him a look.
"We could be doing a lot of things back at your dorm ... but we aren't." Lily said as she pushed him away from her.
"Aww come on Lily. I know you want to." James said as he put his arm back round her waist and started to kiss her neck. It took Lily a minute to respond as she was caught up on the feel of James's lips on her skin.
"James don't. We could get chucked out of here." Lily said as her eyes closed and she enjoyed the pleasure. James grinned between kisses.
"Good." He said.
"You two could make a person sick." A voice said from behind them. Lily and James pulled apart and looked at the person and rolled their eyes.
"Like you haven't been caught doing a lot worse Padfoot." James said as he went back to his books.
"Hey that wasn't my idea. Michelle and I just kind got caught up in the moment. How was I supposed to know you and Lily wanted to get freaky?" Sirius chuckled. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Yeah in my bed. We didn't exactly expect to see you two on it." James said irritably.
"Aww James is just angry because he didn't get some." Sirius laughed. James was about to say something but Michelle had just come up to them looking deathly pale.
"Michelle are you okay?" Lily asked. But Michelle ignored her and stared straight at Sirius.
"Can we talk?" Michelle asked in a weak voice. Sirius looked at Lily and James then stood up and nodded his head. The pair then walked out of the Library.
"Wonder what that's all about?" James said. Lily shrugged then went back to her work.
A few hours later Lily and James went back to the common room. As they walked through the portrait hole everyone stopped and looked at them then continued talking. James and Lily looked at each other then walked towards Kent, Remus and Peter who were sitting in the far corner.
"Hey guys. What's up?" James said as he plopped down on a seat. Lily sat on his lap and let her feet hang over the side of the chair as she laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
"Bloody Mayhem. You guys missed it." Peter said as he shook his head.
"Missed what?" James asked as he stroked Lily's arm.
"Sirius and Michelle just split up." Remus informed. James and Lily gawked at him.
"Why?" James asked. Remus shrugged.
"Sirius wouldn't talk to us. We just heard the pair screaming at each other from the girls' dorms. Then he came down in a rough mood and went to our dorm. Probably to beat up your punching bag." Remus said. James sighed.
"When in doubt get the punch bag out." James said quoting Sirius every time he had saw James punching at the bag. Lily looked at him curiously. "I think I better go talk to him." James said. Lily nodded and got of his lap. As she watched him head up the stairs she turned to Remus.
"Is Michelle still in our dorm?" Lily asked. Remus nodded then Lily made her way towards her dorm.
Meanwhile in the boys' dorm Sirius banged at the punch bag like it was nobody's business. He didn't hear James enter the room. He didn't actually really care. The only thing on his mind was the pain that he had to get rid of.
"You wreck that you're fixing it." A voice said behind him. Sirius didn't stop his tirade of punches. "So what happened?" James asked as he sat down on his bed.
"She dumped me." Sirius said bluntly as he punched the bag once more.
"Why?" James asked.
"Does it matter?" Sirius said in the same bluntness as before.
"Of course it does. Did she think you were cheating on her? Was she cheating on you? What?" James asked as he found a Quaffle under his bed and started playing with it.
"She doesn't love me James." Sirius said.
"Sirius it's a bit obvious that she's crazy about you." James said as he threw the Quaffle in the air and caught it. "You guys probably had a misunderstanding or something. Why don't you just go to her dorm and sort it out?" James said as if it were as simple as that. Sirius stopped punching the bag and turned to him.
"No James it wasn't a misunderstanding. She straight out told me she never loved me and that she never could. And I can't sort it out cause I've already tried." Sirius said calmly. James stared at him. He had never seen Sirius so solemn about anything like this before. Usually when he got dumped - which wasn't a lot - he would be furious at how he couldn't have gotten to do it first.
"Sirius she loves you. It's obvious to see." James said.
"Well then why did she break up with me?" Sirius asked angrily. Now this was the Sirius he knew. "It's bad fucking karma that's what it is. My parents don't love me and neither does she." Sirius said as he hit the punch bag so hard he busted it. James stood up and looked at his hand. It was only slightly bruised. Sirius took his hand away from him and fixed the bag then continued to punch it.
"There's got to be a reason." James muttered.
"Well whatever it is she didn't tell me." Sirius said angrily.
"At least go talk to her." James said. Sirius spun around and looked at him.
"And say what? What the fuck is so wrong with me that you can't love me? I'd rather not know." Sirius said.
"Sirius you have to do something!" James exclaimed.
"I can't. Don't you get it? This is the real world, James. If someone doesn't love you they won't be with you. Not all of us can have the perfect life." Sirius spat.
"What is that supposed to mean?" James asked angrily.
"Nothing." Sirius muttered.
"I'm going to go fix this. Someone needs to." James said as he walked out of the room.
He walked down the stairs and saw that Lily wasn't there and that Remus was watching him. He sighed then walked to the girls' dorm. He didn't even knock the door, he just walked right in. Claudia and Sophie where inside along with Michelle and Lily. Sophie, Lily and Claudia turned to the door as James walked in. He slammed the door behind him and looked at Michelle who had her back to him and was putting things into a back pack.
"What the fuck is going on?" James asked angrily. Michelle sighed but kept her back to him. He turned to the other girls. "Has she told you guys?" James asked them. Lily shook her head.
"She won't talk to us." Lily said as worriedly glancing from Michelle to the back pack she was filling.
"Michelle please tell us what's going on?" Sophie said calmly.
"Nothing that concerns any of you." Michelle said. The three girls looked taken back at Michelle's tone of voice.
"We're just trying to help." Claudia said diplomatically.
"Well you can't. No one can." Michelle said as she walked over to her dresser and took some things out of the drawer.
"Michelle what has gotten into you?" James asked. "Why did you dump Sirius? I think you owe him an explanation." James said angrily.
"What the hell do you know?" Michelle said turning to him. There were tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes were all red. "He doesn't need an explanation. It's better this way." Michelle said before turning around and packing up more of her things.
"Where are you going?" Lily asked.
"None of your business." Michelle said harshly. Lily's jaw dropped. Claudia and Sophie looked at each other; they had never heard Michelle talk to Lily like that. James looked from Michelle to Lily in outrage.
"Stop shutting us out Michelle. There is something wrong with you, and you need to tell us." Lily said angrily.
"I don't need to tell you anything." Michelle said as she took the things of her nightstand.
"Well then tell Sirius. He deserves to know at least." James said angrily. "Do you know he is freaking right now? He thinks you're just like his parents. He thought you were different. But you were just stringing him along." James said angrily. "Don't you care about anyone else but yourself?" James asked harshly. Michelle turned to him.
"I-I'm not like his parents." Michelle stuttered. "Of course I-I care for him I just don't want him to have to go through this." Michelle said as she sat on the bed and wept.
"Go through what?" James asked exasperatedly.
"James can you leave us alone." Lily asked softly as she watched Michelle cry. James looked outraged but Lily gave him a look. He sighed deeply.
"Fine." He said before leaving. Lily sat down beside Michelle as Claudia and Sophie kneeled in front of the pair.
"Please tell us what's going on Michelle. Maybe we can help." Lily said as she put an arm around her best friend. Michelle looked up at her friends and wiped away her tears.
"I-I went to the hospital wing this morning." Michelle said softly. "I finally took up your advice to go." Michelle said.
"What happened?" Sophie asked.
"I told Madame Pomfrey I hadn't been well. That I was throwing up, having irregular periods, a loss of appetite and some swelling in my abdomen." Michelle was a lot calmer as she spoke but the tears continued to fall down her cheeks. "I told her that I thought I might be pregnant. She wasn't too happy to know that I had sex, but she couldn't say anything 'because I'm of legal age." A watery chuckle emitted from Michelle's mouth. "She checked to see if I was pregnant." Michelle said.
"Is that what's wrong Michelle? Are you pregnant?" Claudia asked.
"If you are, you shouldn't have broken up with Sirius. You know he would stand by you no matter what." Sophie said. Lily looked round at the packed bag on the bed.
"Michelle you aren't ... you aren't having an abortion are you?" Lily asked quietly. Sophie and Claudia gasped as Michelle looked at Lily like she was some disgusting rodent.
"I would never do that Lily." Michelle said outraged at the thought of it. "That's like abandonment. And I'm not my mother." Michelle seethed.
"Then what is going on, Michelle? Are you pregnant?" Claudia asked. Michelle stood up and sighed, causing Sophie and Claudia to move out of her way.
"I'm not pregnant, okay!" Michelle said annoyed.
"Well that's great then." Sophie said with a grin. Michelle sighed again and turned to her friends.
"No it's not." Michelle said as more tears ran down her cheeks.
"Then what could be wrong?" Lily asked.
"When Madame P-Pomfrey realized that I-I wasn't pregnant she noticed ..." Michelle took a deep breath as the tears continued to fall. "She n-noticed that something was ... was wrong." Michelle paused again as she tried to wipe away the consistent flow of tears. "S-She examined me and ... and realized that ... she realized that my O-Ovaries were enlarged." Michelle said as she sat down on Sophie's bed. The three girls sat there in shock. Sophie and Claudia didn't really understand the full meaning of this but they knew whatever it was, it was bad. Lily however knew full well what this could mean.
"It might not be anything Michelle. It could just be a cyst. It is most likely just a cyst. I mean it's very rare to be anything else especially for a person at your age. It's just a cyst." Lily said very fast as tears came to her eyes and threatened to fall against her now pale cheeks. Michelle looked at her.
"I have to go to the hospital. They want to do tests on me to see ..." Michelle trailed off. She couldn't bring herself to say it yet. She looked at her friends. "I'm so scared." Michelle said as she broke down into sobs. The three girls instantly wrapped Michelle in a hug. After a few moments Michelle pulled away.
"I have to get my things together. They want me to stay for a few days." Michelle said as she turned her back on the girls to gather up more of her things.
"Do you want one of us to come with you Michelle?" Sophie asked.
"No!" Michelle said as she turned to them with her bag over her shoulder. "And I don't want any of you to come and visit me, okay?" Michelle said seriously. The three girls looked outraged.
"We're coming to visit." Lily said.
"No you're not." Michelle said defiantly. "I don't want any of you guys there!" Michelle said angrily. "And I don't want any of you to tell anyone. Not even Sirius." Michelle said.
"Michelle you need your friends there for you. You especially need Sirius at a time like this." Claudia said.
"I don't need anybody. This is my problem not yours. And I don't need Sirius. He doesn't need me and he shouldn't know. Then he can move on with his life ... and forget about me!" Michelle said furiously.
"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ALREADY HAVE CANCER!" Lily screamed at her. Michelle turned to Lily and looked at her.
"I know I have cancer already. I can feel it in my body. I can feel it eating away at me. I CAN FEEL IT KILLING ME!" Michelle screamed. Claudia, Sophie and Lily stood dumbstruck. They didn't know what to say to that.
"Michelle we didn't know you felt like this." Sophie said as her face was etched with shock.
"I didn't want you guys to pity me." Michelle said with a sigh. "That's why I don't want you guys to visit me. You guys already have enough going on you don't need this hassle." Michelle said.
"You're not-" Claudia began but Michelle put her hand up to stop her.
"I don't want to hear it. I have to go." Michelle said as she walked towards the door.
"I'm telling Sirius." Lily said. Michelle turned to her. She saw the stubborn look on her face.
"Even if it's against my wishes?" Michelle asked stonily.
"You need him and he needs you. You'll get through this with him by your side." Lily said as her face set.
"I don't want him there!" Michelle said angrily. She knew however that Lily's mind was set on telling him. Something inside her weakened. "But just ... just tell him I do love him and I'm sorry for what I said before. But it is over and I don't want him to be there for me." Michelle said.
"We all love you Michelle. We're going to be here no matter what." Lily said as tears rolled down her cheeks. Tears also rolled from Claudia and Sophie's eyes.
"I love you guys too. But I don't want you there." Michelle said. And before they knew it Michelle left the room. The three girls ran after her. When they reached the base of the steps. They could see a teary eyed McGonagall lead Michelle out of the common room. Michelle however stopped before leaving and looked at the room her eyes landed on Sirius who was sitting with Remus and James looking at her in confusion. She let out a shuddering breath then left the common room. Wondering if she would ever return.
As the portrait door shut James jumped off his chair and walked towards Lily, who still stood at the bottom of the stairs.
"What happened? Where has Michelle gone?" James asked curiously. He looked at Lily's face noticed the tear stains and knew that something very bad was going on. Lily looked behind James and saw Sirius standing there. He had a bandage around his right hand. Lily bit her lip knowing that tears threatened to let lose.
"Sirius, we need to talk." Lily said. James looked at Sirius then back at Lily. Lily looked at James. "Will you get Eve? She needs to hear this too. We'll be in your dorm." Lily said as she made her way towards the boys' dorm followed by Sirius. Claudia and Sophie had gone back up to their dorm followed by Kent and Remus.
When Sirius and Lily reached the dorm Peter was inside doing his homework. He looked up as Sirius and Lily walked in.
"What's going on?" Peter asked inquisitively.
"Umm Pete could you leave Lily and I alone, please?" Sirius asked distractedly as he watched Lily look at the ground. Peter nodded but left hesitantly. When he left Sirius watched Lily expectantly. Instead she sat down on James's bed and played with a loose thread from his duvet. She was going over in her head how to tell them about Michelle. She now realized how hard it must have been for Michelle to them. Lily prayed that Sirius would take it okay and be there for Michelle. It was very hard to predict his emotions sometimes and that kind of scared Lily. James was sort of the same. That was probably why James and Sirius where best friends.
Sirius stood watching and waiting. He was going mad inside. Why had Michelle gone? What was so important? Why had Michelle told Lily and not him? ... Did Michelle love him? Sirius felt like he was going to explode. He just wanted to punch something. But he didn't. He was going to wait patiently until Lily told him.
A few minutes later Eve and James walked into the room. Eve looked at Lily concerned.
"What's going on? What happened?" Eve asked as she looked from Sirius to Lily.
"I think you'll need to sit down to hear this." Lily said. Eve nodded and sat on Remus's bed, which was beside James's. James and Sirius, however, kept standing. Lily took a deep sigh and looked out the window of the room. It was dark out and the crescent moon shone in the sky. She turned back to the three eagerly awaiting faces.
"Michelle has to go to hospital." Lily said quietly. The three heard her however. Sirius sprang forward.
"What? Why?" Sirius asked frantically. Lily sighed. James and Eve just looked at Lily confused.
"You know how she hasn't been felling well lately? Well she went to the hospital wing this morning and Madame Pomfrey found something wrong." Lily said. The three couldn't speak. Lily continued. "I'm not sure if you guys even know what these are but it seems that Michelle's Ovaries are swollen." Eve gasped as James and Sirius looked on confused.
"What the hell are Ovaries?" James asked, speaking for the first time since he walked into the room. Lily couldn't help but blush a bit at this.
"Umm it's where a woman's egg is produced." Lily said feeling the hotness on her face. The boys still looked confused. "Didn't your parents ever teach you about this?" Lily asked.
"Lily my parents didn't even talk to me let alone explain about a girl's reproductive-" Sirius stopped mid-sentence as he realized what the Ovaries were. James also understood. "It's a bad thing isn't it?" Sirius asked in a small voice as he sat down beside Eve.
"It depends. You guys do muggle studies right?" The three nodded. "Then you've probably done about diseases right?" The three nodded again.
"Lily what are you getting at?" James asked.
"Michelle's Ovaries could be swollen due to two things. It could either be a cyst or it could be... cancer." Lily said as tears once again sprung to her eyes. Sirius stood up and looked at Lily, his eyes wide in shock.
"Cancer?" Sirius questioned. Lily nodded. "No. No. No. No. No. She's fine. Lily tell me she's fine." Sirius said as he stared at her pleadingly. Lily didn't say anything but tears started to run down her cheeks.
"I can't because I don't know." Lily said as more and more tears continued to fall against her tear stained cheeks.
"Where's Michelle at now?" Eve asked as she continued to sit in shock.
"She left for St. Mungo's. She's going to be staying there for a while. They're going to run some tests to see if she has Cancer or not." Lily said as she wiped her face.
"So she might not have cancer then?" James said hopefully. "Well that's good right?" James said. Lily nodded.
"If it's just a cyst then she's in the clear but Michelle umm kind of already thinks she has it." Lily said quietly.
"But why would she think that?" Eve asked.
"You know how she is she always thinks of the worst." Lily said. She stood up and looked at Sirius who was now looking out the window at the dark grounds.
"You're going to be there for her Sirius, aren't you?" Lily asked. Sirius lowered his head.
"She doesn't want me their Lily." Sirius said in a watery voice.
"Of course she does." Lily said outraged. "She needs you."
"Lily she dumped me for a reason. She doesn't want me there." Sirius said more angrily. "Why is she always fucking doing this?" Sirius said as he spun around. There were tearstains down his cheeks as he looked about the room angrily. He wanted to throw something but there was nothing within reach.
"Sirius she isn't doing this on purpose." Lily said angrily.
"Then why does she push me away so I can't help her?" Sirius asked. "She did it when she thought she was pregnant and now she's doing it again." Sirius said furiously.
"Then defy her and be there for her. She needs you right now Sirius." Lily pleaded with him. Sirius didn't say anything. Instead he shook his head and walked out of the room. Lily went to follow him but James stopped her.
"He's going to do something stupid James." Lily said struggling to get out of his grasp. She didn't notice that he too had been crying.
"He needs to be on his own Lily. Just-Just let him be alone for a while." James said. Lily stopped struggling and looked at him. She now noticed the tears that had fallen. Tears came to her eyes again. Eve stood up as the tears also rolled down her face also.
"I-I got to go." Eve said as she fled the room. Lily looked into James's eyes and fell into his arms hugging him tightly as she cried into his shoulder. She didn't know how long she stood like that, but she was happy that James was holding her. James pulled away and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.
"Do you want me to take you back to your dorm?" James asked wearily. Lily shook her head.
"I don't want to be on my own tonight. Can I stay with you?" Lily said as she sniffed. James nodded and kissed her head. James then went to his dresser and handed her a long t-shirt to change into. When they were both changed into their sleeping wear they got into James's bed and held each other tight. Both scared that they would lose the other of they let go.