Standing in front of us was a young man whom I didn't recognise. In each of his hands he held a set of reins, which were attached to their respective bridles, and each was worn by a horse. I hate horses. I have done since that monster belonging to my father mowed me down when I was a kid.
It wasn't until I felt Sheppard grab my arms, and got me to sit on the ground that I realised that I was hyperventilating. Sheppard crouched down in front of me, talking softly, trying to pull my mind back from the void I had sent it to. Finally I shudder, and meet his eyes. I can see several emotions running through them, the most obvious being concern and worry. I don't know how to react, so few of my CO's have ever taken more than just a cursory concern for my wellbeing, and even then it only ever seems to occur when there is an issue appearing in my work. He sat down beside me, and started playing with the stones from the path.
A couple of sets of footsteps interrupted both of our thought processes. Four, or five, years in another galaxy makes it almost impossible to zone out completely. Both of us glance up, and I freeze completely. Sheppard, however, climbed back to his feet and grinned as he walks over to them. I put my head down, and rested my forehead against my knees. Our two visitors are both well known to me, and apparently to Sheppard as well. My brother-in-law James and his best friend David. Who, when I think about it, must be Sheppard's elder brother. I got to know him fairly well over that Christmas break three years ago, but, until now, never made the connection between him and my CO, despite him speaking about his 'baby' brother on several occasions. I suddenly smirk, David has told me heaps of embarrassing stories about the Colonel which may be able to be used to get revenge for his ordering me to that damn presentation.
"That's better."
Sheppard's voice drifted down from above my head. I lean back, grinning at him. He groans.
"What the hell did you tell him Dave?"
"I may have mentioned the incident involving you, James, myself, and Mom's antique record collection."
"I was four"
"We played Frisbee with a stack of collectors' items John, after Mom told both of us that we couldn't touch them. I don't think your age really affected what you would have done. You still insist on touching things you're not supposed to."
This comment of David's sent me off in gales of laughter. He's more correct than he knows. Sheppard never can resist touching McKay's latest piece of shiny Ancient tech.
Sheppard suddenly grabs my hands and hauls me to my feet, before plonking a helmet on my head and doing the straps up properly before I resist. I freeze, realising that Sheppard was still determined to get me to ride one of those hellish creatures. James and David say good bye at this point, they had to keep going, something to do with an important meeting. Sheppard grabs my shoulders, and looks me directly in the eye.
"There is nothing to be scared of. I will be beside you every step."
I glare at him, and walk toward the corral. I don't like horses, but that does not mean that I am scared of them. I'll show him. I slip through the railings and take the reins that are handed to me. I take a deep breath and put my foot in the stirrup, and try to spring up into the saddle. I almost fall back, when Sheppard's hands land on my waist, and push me up into the saddle. I secure my foot in the other stirrup, and just sit there, trying not to freak out. I close my eyes as we start to move, the young man leading my horse and Sheppard walking along me.
"Open your eyes, Evan. Seeing what is going on will make it less likely that you will fall off." Sheppard's voice is curiously gentle, much like the voice someone will adopt when they are talking to a frightened child. I open my eyes and see that we have not yet left the corral. Sheppard glances up at me, and watches for a second before going to open the gate. We walk out of the corral, and he closes the gate behind us. As I relax, I remember my behaviour toward him earlier.
"Sir."
"It's John."
"Ok, then. John. I was out of line earlier, in the way that I was speaking. I just want to apologise, and assure you that it won't happen again."
He sighs, "Evan, I don't what your CO's have done in the past, but I'm not them. I don't expect absolute subservience from you at all times, especially when we're off duty, and not even on base. You need to relax."
I go silent for a moment, and before I can stop myself I mumble, "Abbi's mother was one of my CO's daughters."
Sheppard doesn't say anything, although I know that he heard me. He just puts his hand on my knee as we walk on, a silent gesture of support and understanding that speaks volumes to me. It lets me know that despite my refusal to let myself trust anyone completely, he still trusts me.