I hate crying, and I especially hate sleeping afterwards. I wake up with itchy, bloodshot eyes, and feel as though I haven't had any sleep at all. So when I wake up after blubbering all over Sheppard, I am understandable not feeling all that great. I get dressed and head over to the infirmary. Keller has some eye drops that she has used on me before, that should stop my eyes from itching. As I am about to walk in, I hear Keller mention my name. I creep closer, wondering who she is talking to and what she was asking them. The first question is answered when I hear Sheppard's voice reply.

"I don't know how he is really. When it comes down to it, no one in this city knows much about him at all. He has kept so much to himself that I don't know how he copes. There was never even a glimpse to something was wrong, until it became impossible to hide. I can't tell at this stage if he has been talking to me because he feels he has to, or if he is genuinely ready to let go of what happened. David thinks it the latter, but that's only from gut instinct rather than anything tangible."

"How does your brother know Evan?"

"Just after I entered the Academy, my Dad started doing business with his Dad. David went with Dad on one of the business trips to the West Coast. When he was over there he spent a couple of hours watching a teenager argue, yell, scream, shout and sulk at his father. He reminded David of me in my last few years at home. Part way through that argument, his father just cut him off and told one of the household help to get Evan in the car and take him back to school. The holidays weren't even half over at that stage."

"That doesn't sound anything like the man we know."

"No, it doesn't. David felt the same way when Evan went home four years ago. He was the quiet, unassuming man we now know. To David it seemed as though someone had finally broken his spirit. I've spoken to General O'Neill, most of it was gone by the time he started at the Command, and what was left disappeared after he lost Ritter on P3X-403."

"So, how does Abbi fit in to all this?"

"Abbi was born round about six months after Evan was transferred out of, the then, Colonel Callaghan's command. Her mother is Callaghan daughter."

"Do you have any idea of what happened?"

"David thinks that the official story is a load of BS. But apart from that I really have no idea."

"He won't tell you?"

"No. I was told that if I wanted to know what happened then I would have to find out off Evan."

I turn and walk away at this stage, not wanting to hear anymore. The concern in Sheppard's voice is something I've always wanted to hear, but it hurts that it has had to come from my CO rather than a member of my family. I reach my office and lock the door, before sitting down against it. The conversation between Jenn and Sheppard sounds far more like a pair of siblings worrying over a younger brother (despite the fact that I am older than Jenn), than a conversation between two members of the senior staff discussing a junior staff member.

I have a decision to make here. I can keep going like I always have been, and probably end up in a psychiatric facility when I finally break, or I can start to open up, let the others in, and let them take some of the burden from me. Although when I put it like that, it's not really a choice.

I sit there for a few minutes trying to work out how to tell Sheppard any of what happened, when I feel someone override my lock and open the door. I don't have time to react and fall backwards, knocking Sheppard flying. He drops the box of paper he was carrying, which promptly goes everywhere. As I lie there I realise just how ridiculous we must look, and start laughing. Sheppard seems startled for a moment before joining in. He climbs back to his feet, and then hauls me up. We make quick work of cleaning up the paperwork, before dumping it on my desk and then collapsing into the two chairs behind my desk. Sheppard is surprised by my good mood, but doesn't question it. We split the pile between us and start work.

After about an hour, I start reviewing the results of an inquiry the IOA started soon after we landed on Earth. It takes me around a full hour to read through in its entirety. The conclusion, and the recommendation based on it, is startling. The IOA had decided that to reduce the strain on members of the expedition, those with a spouse whose skill set could be integrated in the city would be employed and consequently join their spouse in Atlantis. Also, dependent children would also be allowed into the city. The plans need the Colonel and I to sign off on it before it can be implemented. The city is child proof, as we found out when Captain Phillips team were turned into children for forty eight hours, so they can't get into areas that aren't safe. The inquiry had addressed every issue that I could think of, and so I signed off on it, underneath the signatures of Richard Woolsey, Rodney McKay, and Jennifer Keller. I then passed it over to Sheppard, who scan it quickly, checked to see who had signed already, before adding his signature to the bottom.

He then turned to me and asked, "When are you going to bring Abbi over then?"

A/N - Sorry this has taken so long to post, real life has been crazy. I'm already working on the next chapter so it should be up within the week. - Jandii