A/N: This one is silly. I'll update soon. =)
Dear Mother,
Life at Hogwarts is exciting. Seventh year is turning out to be quite nice. The Slytherins and Gryffindors have agreed to end our little fued. I kinda miss it. It gave me something to do when I was bored.
Now, what else has been going on?
OH YA! I stole Hermione Granger's diary!
Now, before you give me a lecture about how just because she's Muggleborn, that doesn't give you any right to treat her badly, let me make something clear.
I DID NOT STEAL HER DIARY BECAUSE SHE'S MUGGLEBORN, I STOLE IT BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE HER.
Clear enough, isn't it?
Anyway, I was so bored, having nothing to do since I don't make fun of Gryffindors anymore, and her diary was sitting on her desk.
In the open.
Just waiting for someone to steal it.
Honesty, I'm only human, mother.
I haven't looked inside yet, but perhaps I should do that now.
Okay, I read a page. She's so boring.
Read a couple more. She has a crush on Ron Weasley. Can someone say barf?
Ohhhhhh, she talks about me. She likes my eyes. Maybe she isn't as boring as I thought.
She's been having dreams about me, Mother, very descriptive dreams.
She wrote down her score for Black Ops.
I think I love her, mother. I really do.
That's it! I'm asking her to marry me. Send me great grandma's ring, will you?
Love,
The-most-amazing-son-ever-known
Draco Malfoy.