Hey, everyone! I hope you guys are all doing well. I hope you guys are liking the chapters I have been posting. I really want to post more regularly. I hate having this story just sit around. Anyway, I think I'm either going to post 2 or 3 chapters each weekend if I'm not swamped with homework. So, here's your third chapter for this weekend. I want to give you guys the ending however it ends. I hope you guys enjoy and don't be afraid to review. I like hearing what you guys have to say.
Chapter 13-Sanctuary… For Now
Ryder looked around at her surroundings. There wasn't much to see considering they were surrounded by woods. Her group had been walking for a while now. She looked around at everyone. They all seemed like walkers the way they were shambling ahead. Their cars had run out of gas a while ago. They hadn't been able to do much else and they couldn't just sit in one place hoping something would work out. They decided that walking to try to find a place to hunker down for a while would be a good option.
The blonde closed her eyes looking up at the sky. She would kill for some music right about now. She had loved music before the world fell. If she was doing something that she didn't need to concentrate on she would always have a pair of headphones in listening to music as loud as her ears allowed her to go. She would also be fine if it rained but now she was wishing for life to be easy.
She looked back down from the sky watching the group. Her eyes finally landed on Daryl. After their talk… well, their fighting match everything seemed to be fine now. He wasn't avoiding her like he was. He would talk to her like he used to before the hospital. He was slightly awkward when they were alone though. She assumed he was awkward because of the kiss they had shared back in the woods. She smirked to herself. She didn't not like it, but she needed to focus on everything around her. They all did. No one could afford to get careless or else their group would keep falling one by one.
Ryder watched everyone walking ahead of her. Their group was spread out. They were tired and hungry. Rick had put her in the back while Daryl and Rick stayed up front. She noticed movement up front when Daryl handed Rick the assault rifle he had been carrying. Ryder watched as Daryl peeled off from the rest of the group into the trees. She jogged up front standing next to Rick. "What's he doing?"
"Said he's going to try to find some food or water."
Carol started to follow after Daryl. "I'll come with."
He stopped and turned around. "I got it."
"You gonna stop me?" Carol had asked but he gave her a look.
"I said I got it."
Carol slowed up as he disappeared into the woods. Ryder looked over at Rick. "None of us should be alone. I know he can handle himself, but we are all weak."
Rick watched her and then nodded his head in the direction that Daryl had disappeared to. She nodded in confirmation and jogged after him. Before she could get into the woods Carol called after her. She stopped, turning around meeting the woman halfway. Carol handed her a knife. "Give him this, please?"
Ryder looked down taking the knife. She recognized it. She knew who it belonged to. "Of course."
Carol smiled at the blonde as she turned around to run after Daryl. It took Ryder a minute to catch up to him but when he heard her behind him he stopped turning around.
"Thought I said I got it?"
Ryder shrugged her shoulders walking up next to him. "You did."
"So why did'ja follow me?"
"Because I wanted to be around your winning personality." She looked at him pointedly. "Are you done complaining? I don't want to be out here all night."
Daryl watched the blonde walk ahead of him. "You know where ur goin'?"
"Nope." She kept walking ahead of him. "Better come take point."
Daryl rolled his eyes sighing at the woman. He walked up a little ahead of her but still next to her. She had started to revert back to her old self when he told her what happened. He still hated himself for blaming her for something she didn't do. She seemed to be over it though. Instead of looking worse then everyone like she had been before she now looked tired and hungry but not worse.
They were able to find their way into a clearing. It looked like a river had been there before but now the path was covered in weeds. She looked over at the hunter. "Anything?"
"No, it's too dry."
Ryder kept wandering around trying to find something, but nothing was standing out to her. She looked up into the field and that was when something caught her eye. She started walking over to what she saw. There was a field with overgrown weeds, but these weeds were different. Instead of a field like they were standing in these weeds had some type of order. It was like an order that a farmer would put his crops in.
Daryl looked over at the blonde. He was expecting her to say something when she followed him out here for no reason. He noticed that she wasn't moving she was just standing still looking over at nothing. "Ryder." The hunter called. She didn't respond. Right after he called for her she took off running towards what she saw. "Goddammit." Daryl cursed. He took off running after the woman not understanding where she was going.
The blonde was tired, and her legs ached because of no food but if she was right then they would be able to bring the group here. Daryl had caught up with her by the time that she was rounding a section of trees and there she saw it. They hadn't seen a house in a while so anything they could find was good news.
Daryl caught up with her and stopped when he saw the house. It wasn't massive, but it wasn't small either. It looked like an old plantation house he would have seen in the south. With them being around Richmond now he figured it was just an old Victorian house considering how old it looked and the style.
Ryder turned huffing trying to catch her breath. She looked over at him and smirked, which gained her an eye roll from the man next to her. "We need to go tell the group. There may not be much food left but it's a place to stay for a while. We can get some of our strength back."
The blonde turned to walk away back toward the group but stopped which caused Daryl to nearly knock into her. "The hell you doin'?"
She turned facing him and pulled Beth's knife out of her pocket. "I didn't know her well, but she was a sweet girl. I don't know how close you two were. You have been hurting for a while. We can see it." Ryder handed Daryl over the knife.
He was watching her. He didn't know what she was going to say. He didn't want to dredge up these feelings that he had been trying so hard to keep hidden. He looked down at the small knife in his hand but kept watching Ryder out of the corner of his eye.
She smiled sadly. "I may be a hypocrite saying this, but you have to let yourself feel something." She made a point to look him in the eyes. "Living with your emotions hidden isn't any way to live. Talk it out with yourself or with someone or just sit in a corner and cry. Fuck, go out and punch a tree or something. Just deal with it."
The hunter still didn't say anything. He didn't want to. He knew that if he tried to right now he would lose it. He couldn't do that in front of Ryder. If he broke down in front of her then he would be weak. He couldn't let her see him when he was weak.
"Come on let's go grab the group so we can clear the house and get some rest." She turned and made her way back the way they had come. She could feel Daryl following behind her but at a slower pace. She figured that he was thinking and that was why he was letting her lead him back to the group instead of the other way around.
Ryder grabbed her crossbow and moved it from her shoulder as they entered the edge of the woods again. She heard Daryl comment from behind her. "That what you do? Hide ur emotions?"
The blonde slowed her pace, but she kept walking. "No. I mean I'm actually a pretty easy person to read. If something happens then you can see it on my face. I've never really been good at that. Most of the time I'm just annoyed or pissed off, so I don't have to worry about people approaching me."
Daryl watched her back. He didn't mean it like that. He knew that part about her already. He could see through her the minute that she had stepped into the prison. Her face would always remain passive, but he could see it in her eyes. "Not what I meant."
Ryder sighed. "I figured. When we get the group and get into the house. Come find me when everyone is settled, and I'll tell you what I do when that happens." She kept pushing forward. Even though he threw Matt's death in her face she couldn't help but trust the other man. He had always been there… within reason. He was scared for her mental stability and made her listen to bringing Matt up. The whole thing with Beth was understandable. The way he saw it everything that had happened made sense in his mind. The main reason why she had gotten so mad at him was because he didn't talk to her about it. If he would have just confronted her about what he thought, then they would have gotten over that a while ago.
Finally, Ryder and Daryl broke through the forest and made their way up to the road. She looked down the road and saw that the group had taken down the walkers that had been following them for a while. She could see that the group didn't see Daryl or her, so she looked around and made sure there weren't any walkers around in their immediate vicinity. She brought her fingers up to her mouth and called out to the group with a short and shrill whistle.
The group turned hearing Ryder's whistle. Ryder scoffed to herself a little. The way they turned around and looked at her made it seem like they were a bunch of walkers. Hopefully, this house they had found has some good food in it. They can start to recover their energy back. Daryl and her could also go hunting and possibly bag some small game before they left.
After a while the group made it over to Daryl and Ryder. She walked over to Rick updating him with what they found. "Well, we didn't find any water." Rick nodded his head. He seemed to be expecting bad news. That's all they had been able to report lately was bad news. "But, we did find an old Victorian style house not too far from here. We haven't cleared it yet. It's a place where we can be for a few days to figure out what our next move is." Rick let out a sigh of relief. Ryder looked around at the rest of the group. They didn't seem so dead now that there was a sliver of hope for something. She didn't know what that sliver of hope was, but it was something.
Ryder and Daryl walked side by side leading the group to the house. The hunter and ranger seemed to have a little more steam than everyone else, so they were a little far ahead. Daryl kept glancing over at the blonde walking next to him. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what. Whenever he let his brain wander when it was quiet it always wondered to the kiss that he shared with Ryder. She had also been acting differently than how she was before. She seemed content. She wasn't necessarily happy, but she seemed to have stopped trying to push everyone away. He was still the only one that could touch her because she was still self-conscious about the metal in her body, but she was getting better.
The group looked up at the building standing tall in front of them. It had been a white house, but the paint was peeling off the building severely. All the windows seemed to be covered so they couldn't look into the house. There was a big deck on the back of the house. It seemed like the people who had owned the house originally were planning on putting a pool in before shit hit. There was the beginning of a hole in the ground pushed right up to the deck.
They walked around to the front of the building and there was a huge porch that wrapped around to the side of the building to the front. Rick handed Judith to Carl who took her. Daryl, Ryder, Rick, and Michonne all stood at the double doors read to head in and clear what they needed to.
Ryder stood next to Daryl on the porch both with their bows at the ready. Rick and Michonne both took a door. Rick counted to three with his fingers and when he got to three Michonne and him threw the doors open. Both the hunter and the ranger pushed through into the main entrance looking around. So far, they didn't see anything or hear anything right off the bat. Daryl and Ryder were walking around the entrance when Rick smacked one of the doors making enough noise to draw anything out from hiding. Everyone heard a few noises from the second floor. Both Daryl and Ryder looked at each other and then looked behind at Rick. The older man nodded his head giving them confirmation to go up the stairs.
Ryder walked ahead of Daryl up the stairs since she was closer than he was. She checked behind her and saw that Rick and Michonne had gone to the left into the family area. She turned back around gliding up the stairs. She sighed when she noticed that every room upstairs was closed. They got up the stairs and there was a door on their immediate right. Ryder moved off to the side and grabbed the door handle gently. She counted to three with her fingers the same way that Rick had done downstairs. Ryder pushed open the door and moved out of the way. Instantly she moved behind Daryl with her crossbow up. There wasn't anything in the room that was dead. Ryder quickly made her way over to the closet and checked while Daryl checked under the bed. That room was clear.
The ranger and the hunter moved into the hall and this time Daryl grabbed the knob of the door next to the bedroom they just check. He went through the same process of counting to three. Ryder busted in and immediately she was hit in the face with a rotten stench. She turned around trying to get away from the smell that she hadn't been prepared for. She smacked into Daryl's chest pushing him back confused. He had barely gotten into the bathroom before Ryder backtracked from the bathroom. Ryder went into the bedroom they just cleared and bent over trying to not throw up. Even if she did she wouldn't have anything to throw up. Her stomach was empty. Daryl walked into the bathroom and once the smell hit his senses he brought his bandana to his face.
Sitting in the bathtub was what looked to be a man. Daryl couldn't really tell. The man was lying dead in water. Daryl didn't know how long that he had been there, but it was long enough that the part of the body that was submerged in the water was decomposed but the rest of the body that hadn't sunk down had bloated and the skin was falling off the face. The eyes were bulging, and he could see that there was a bullet hole in his forehead. Daryl looked around a little but couldn't find the gun he used so he assumed that it had fallen in the water. Of course, he couldn't see into the water because it was pretty much black sludge by now. The hunter backed out of the room and closed the door behind him.
Ryder had her eyes closed bent over with her hands resting on her knees. Her stomach was settling. She hadn't ever smelt anything so foul in her entire life. Even not being able to shower weeks on end. She thought that being around a bunch of men in the army smelled but they had smelt like roses compared to what she just walked into. There was a mental flash in Ryder's head that reminded her of something in her past, but she shook it out of her head. The blonde heard the floorboards squeak next to her and she half looked over to see Daryl leaning against the door frame of the bedroom she was currently in.
"Need time?" Daryl asked her. He didn't blame her. That smell was foul.
Ryder took in another breath and stood up. "No, let's keep moving. It's getting dark."
Ryder and Daryl moved through the rest of the rooms upstairs. They only had to take down one walker in what they assumed was the master bedroom. Daryl went downstairs to tell the group that everything was clear. Ryder was following him, but she stopped and turned around. She went into the master bedroom and rummaged around. She was able to find was she was looking for. She grabbed a couple bottles of lipstick and went to the bathroom door that held the man. She crossed an "X" on the door and wrote, "DO NOT ENTER." She didn't want anyone walking in there by accident and having the same problem she did. Not everyone could hold their stomach like she could.
Everyone piled into the house excited that they could finally stop moving for longer than a few hours. Everyone was gathered in the family room. They had been able to find some food scattered through the house. It wasn't much but it was something considering they had been running on empty for a while. Rick stood at the edge of the door after everyone was done eating. "There aren't beds for all of us and I know that. I know that everyone is tired, but we need to figure out where everyone is sleeping."
Ryder looked around at everyone, but no one was saying anything. The blonde stood up making everyone look at her. "Rick. You, Judith and Carl, go ahead and take the master bedroom. The bed will be big enough for all three of you comfortably." Rick was about ready to protest but Ryder cut him off before she could say anything. "Glen and Maggie. There's a bedroom upstairs that has a queen bed. It may be cramped but you guys should be fine. Same thing goes for you Rosita and Abraham. Check upstairs. There will be a bed for you two."
The blonde was looking around at everyone thinking. She wanted to make this fair for everyone because they had all been without beds for so long, so she didn't want to take comfort away from anyone. "Noah, there's a small twin bed upstairs. Go ahead and take that one. This house is big, and it's surrounded by woods. I think it would be a good idea to have four people on watch at a time." Ryder looked over to Rick waiting for his confirmation.
Rick looked at his group trying to assess their current condition. "I agree. We can spare four people at a time. We don't need to get caught off guard if a herd moves through suddenly."
Ryder looked back at everyone still sitting on the floor or leaning against the wall. "I think the best people to go on watch first would be Daryl, Michonne, Tara and myself. We seem to be the most awake out of everyone. That means Father Gabriel, Eugene, Sasha, and Carol will take the couch, chair and love seat in the living room. That should leave everyone with a comfortable spot to sleep." Ryder sighed content with her plan. She was happy that no one had to sleep on the floor. Their group needed comfort right now.
She went to turn around to start watch but Father Gabriel spoke up. "Umm… what about the people on watch? Where do they sleep?"
Ryder turned finding him in the crowd of people on the floor. "The people on the first watch will switch with the people on second watch and so on. Maggie, Glen, Rick, and Carol can take second watch. After that, I don't really care what happens. You guys are adults. You can figure it out. Just make sure that someone doesn't do double duty. Everyone has to get as much sleep as possible."
Before anyone could ask her something else she went upstairs. There was a balcony that she saw on the front of the house. She wanted to keep watch up there since it gave the best vantage point for the front of the house. She opened the door and the cool night air that had started to settle in rushed into the house. She smiled slightly and sat on the balcony railing. She didn't mind being on watch because it gave her a chance to be alone. It was even better because they were in a house now instead of the open.
Ryder heard the door open behind her. Before she could turn around and look behind her to see who it was she heard heavy boots hitting the wood of the balcony. She smirked to herself. "You coming to interrogate me now?"
Daryl walked over and sat in the only chair on the balcony across from Ryder. "Ya didn' make urself hard to find."
Ryder laughed slightly. "No, I guess I didn't."
They stayed quiet for a solid ten minutes. It wasn't an awkward silence. It was nice just sitting on the balcony feeling the cool breeze move around them. The woods were also peaceful right now. It was like the world was giving them a break from all the shit that had been going down.
Daryl looked over at the blonde. Her hair was up but the wind was still moving it a little. The full moon out reflected off her eyes making them seem silver. His eyes started to rake down her form, but he stopped himself. He shook his head when he noticed what he was doing. He looked into the woods trying to hide the red that had crept into his face. It was a good thing that it was dark so even if she was looking at him she probably wouldn't have seen his embarrassment. He scowled to himself for doing that again. He had lost himself before in the woods. That was when he had kissed her. He didn't know what he was doing but when it finally hit him his lips were connected to the blondes. He had had no intention of kissing her or doing anything with her. She was a great friend when she was being herself. She was a great friend when she was having issues too, but it was a little harder to get along with her.
He shook his head again and looked back over at the blonde. "Ya goin' to explain what we were talking 'bout earlier?"
"Yeah, I guess I can if you really want to know." She looked over at him. He just watched her waiting for her to explain herself.
"Well, when I was younger my mom was a shrink. She was an awesome mom but when she tried to shrink me it was annoying. From a young age, she would always tell me that I was overly empathetic."
Daryl cocked his head looking over at her. "What's that mean?"
"Pretty much the short version is that I try to make other people's problems my problems. I can feel how others are feeling. I understand what it feels when other people are having issues. That's one reason I like being alone. I feel like I need to help everyone, but I also feel emotionally drained by being surrounded by people."
"You're still with us though." Daryl started to feel somewhat panicked. He adjusted himself in his seat.
"Yeah, it's because I have started to move past it. My dad wasn't the most supportive of me when I was younger, so he forced me to get over some of my problems." Ryder looked back over to the woods making sure that she didn't get too distracted from watching the house.
Daryl stopped moving around in his chair. It made him feel better that she wasn't leaving the group or even thinking about leaving them.
"So, what you're talking about is the best way that I could do my job and not hate myself too much after. As a ranger, we had to be ready to leave at any moment. I didn't have the time to get in the mental state of some of the things that I had to do." Ryder sighed. She didn't mind talking about this, but it just made her remember all the feelings that would flood back to her. "I was able to create a type of mental switch in my brain. When we were called to a mission I would have to turn my switch on so that I could do what I needed to do on the battlefield."
Daryl looked over at her stunned. "So ya can jus' not feel anythin' whenever ya want?"
"Not exactly. If that was true I wouldn't bother turning it off. When I would get done on a mission I would make sure I was away from everyone. When I flip my switch off all those emotions come flooding back to me. It's like getting hit with a wave of whatever I should have been feeling during that time."
Daryl couldn't even comprehend what she was talking about. It sounded like she was lying about this. This didn't sound real. Being able to turn off emotions whenever she felt?
Ryder chuckled slightly. "I know how it sounds. I sound like a nutcase. When I found out I was going to the army and I would be going to war I went to a hypnotist and he did something to my mental state." She looked over at Daryl and noticed that he wasn't saying anything. "Look I know I sound insane."
Ryder stood up to go check on the other people on watch. Before she could leave the balcony Daryl gently grabbed her wrist. "Don' go. I'm sorry. Just never heard of somethin' like that befor'."
Ryder backed up and sat on the balcony again. "Like I said I don't blame you. It's weird. I'm weird."
Daryl stood and leaned on the railing. He lowered his voice. "No, ya ain't."
Ryder dropped down from her perch and leaned next to Daryl. She smiled. "What was that?"
Daryl looked down at the ground below him. "Would 'av been nice to have that when I was younger."
"How come?"
The hunter moved back and forth on each foot fidgeting. "Didn't have the greatest childhood growin' up."
"Well, if you want to talk then I'm here. Listening is something that I'm good at." Ryder looked over at Daryl again leaning her chin on her shoulder. Daryl did the same thing looking back over to her. "Any other questions?"
"How 'bout 'nother tattoo?"
Ryder thought about it for a minute. "Sure, have one in mind that you've been curious about?"
"Your other leg… also what 'bout the rest of the creed?"
"My ranger creed?"
Daryl just nodded his head. "Well, the one of my leg is my space tattoo. When I was in the army there were a lot of times I would look at the stars or the moon. I would wonder what it would be like if I wasn't on earth. If I could be in the stars and just… be instead of having to worry about everything here. So, I got my favorite place tattooed on me." Ryder smiled thinking back to when she would have the chance to just lay on the ground and stare up at the stars.
Daryl looked over and noticed her smiling. She barely smiled but she had been doing it a lot more lately. He smirked to himself. It was nice seeing her not miserable lately. He leaned forward slightly not thinking about anything other than Ryder in that current moment.
Ryder saw him lean forward and she copied him. There was a flash of Daryl's face from her dream that she had at the prison. She coughed and pulled away awkwardly. When they pulled away Maggie opened the door to the balcony with Glen following her. "I thought that we were supposed to switch out?"
The blonde pushed away from the railing. "Yeah. Lost track of time." She moved passed Maggie going into the house. Her face was red, and she didn't want them to see or else they would start thinking something was going on between her and Daryl.
"Ryder." She turned around seeing that Maggie had called her. "Tara and Michonne have already switch so the bed that Glen and I slept in is available."
The ranger continued into the house waving her hand over her shoulder. "Thanks."
Ryder went into the room Maggie was talking about and flopped down on the bed. Her right leg was hanging off the bed. She was so tired. Finally, laying down on an actual bed felt so good. She hadn't noticed how tired she actually was. She laid her arm over her eyes and closed them. She was about ready to pass out when she heard the door open to the room. She opened one of her eyes and looked over seeing an awkward Daryl walking in the room. She noticed that he was in the process of laying a blanket on the floor. "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like?"
"Well, it looks like you're about ready to sleep on the floor." Daryl looked over at her not saying anything. "Don't sleep on the floor. There is plenty of room on the bed for both of us. We are both adults."
Daryl awkwardly rubbed the back of his head looking at her. Before he could say anything to protest she stopped him. "Just get your ass over here and sleep."
He came over to the bed and laid down keeping space between the two of them.
Ryder started to fall asleep again. She stopped herself. "The rest of the creed is pretty long. I told you what the R stood for. A means acknowledging the fact that a ranger is a more elite soldier who arrives at the cutting edge of battle by land, sea, or air. I accept the fact that as a ranger my country expects me to move further, faster and fight harder than any other soldier."
Daryl looked over at her. "Sounds intense."
Ryder closed her eyes. She had stayed true to her comrades but there were always some parts of the creed that she felt she hadn't kept up with and for a ranger that wasn't possible. "Yeah. We were the elite squad. We needed to be intense. Never shall I fail my comrades. I will always keep myself mentally alert, physically strong and morally straight and I will shoulder more than my share of the task whatever it may be, one-hundred-percent and then some." She felt like she had done exactly that to Matt. She felt like she failed a comrade.
The hunter waited for her to continue but when she didn't he wanted to make sure that she wasn't sleeping. "Ryder? You ok?"
"Yeah, Sorry. Gallantly will I show the world that I am a specially selected and well-trained soldier. My courtesy to superior officers, neatness of dress and care of equipment shall set the example for others to follow."
"Damn, Ryder. They sound like a bunch of hard asses." He felt Ryder nod her head in agreement.
"You aren't wrong." She paused and then continued. It had been a long time since she had thought about her creed and her comrades other than Matt and Justin. "Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a ranger word. I will never leave a fallen comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy and under no circumstances will I embarrass my country."
Daryl leaned up on his elbow looking over at her in the darkness. "You were left."
Ryder smiled sadly. "Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the ranger objective and complete the mission though I may be a lone survivor."
Daryl just stared at her. He didn't understand what she was getting at.
"The reason Matt and I were left was because we were extracting a high-profile target. He was our utmost priority. If he died while we were extracting him then we would be a disgrace to the code. I stayed with Matt and told them to go on since I was injured and couldn't run, and Matt was unconscious. The insurgents got to us before I could figure out what to do."
The hunter laid back down on the bed. "Why the rangers?"
Ryder shrugged her shoulders but remembered that he couldn't see her. "My dad was a ranger and he was promoted for excellence in the service. I had the case of trying to impress my dad. At first, I did because I had been the first and only woman to join the rangers and pass the tests to get in. When he had heard Matt died while I was there he thought I could have done something else, so he didn't die." Ryder sighed thinking about her father. She rolled over onto her side facing the edge of the bed. "He never came to see me in the hospital or check up on me when I was in rehabilitation. Our argument was the last time I talked to him.
Daryl was about ready to say something, but he didn't know what to say. He had a bad childhood too, but he didn't know how to share with her and let her know that she wasn't alone.
"It could've been worse. Night Daryl." Ryder passed out not hearing Daryl respond and tell her night also.
What did you guys think!? I wanted to try to give more backstory to Ryder considering she seems like a mystery. After this stuff will start heating up for the group. Thanks for ready guys and the next chapter will be up next weekend. I can't wait to hear from you guys!