Harley - Thanks! I'll reply to your email when I've got time.

Zelda12343 - Ah, silly me.

Uh oh, Hermia's just stolen Rosaline's boyfriend. Time for a mega bitch fight!

"YOU SLUT!"

Hermia broke off "That's for getting me in trouble, calling me a bastard, playing with Romeo's heart, and making Merc and the boys fall out!"

"Uhh..." moaned Orlando.

"Oh, and have your boyfriend back. I don't like him, anyway. I can't stand brown eyes. I prefer hazel" said Hermia, walking off.

Rosaline slapped Orlando, and chased after Hermia.

"How...how dare you!"

"Sorry" shrugged Hermia "But to be honest, you had it coming. You are a two-faced cow, you do know that, don't you? On one face it's all oh, poor little me, I grew up on an estate, and the other is cruel and calculating and seducing all the rich boys around here. That's what your boyfriends all have in common. Tybalt's rich, Orlando's quite well off, and Romeo's the richest. He's your latest conquest. I'm not dumb"

Hermia turned her back to Rosaline, and skipped off to the stairs.

"That's a lie! You're the one with all the boyfriends! You just want attention, all the time! I can't seem to think why. You cause trouble in our family, torment Tibby, shame your parents and just...urgh! I hate you!" screamed Rosaline "You're nothing but an unwanted bastard. Bastard, bastard, bastard! There! I said it! And a failed abortion! Tybalt has told me all about you! You killed your own mother, your step-dad took one look at you and threw up, which is why you have to live here. No one loves you, and no one wants you!"

"What did you say?" breathed Hermia, stepping forwards to Rosaline.

"You heard what I said. Don't play dumb with me. You may think I'm nothing but trailer trash, but growing up on an estate has made me strong"

"I said, what did you say?"

"I said you were nothing but an unwanted bastard!"

"I'm not a failed abortion!" Hermia cried, feeling hot liquid well up behind her eyes.

"That's why you're such a whore" sang Rosaline delightedly "Because no one wants you, you steal boyfriends, sleep with different guys, just to kid yourself someone cares about you. How sad. It won't work. No one wants you"

"People do want me!"

"Name me one!"

"Mercutio...and Benvolio...they like me"

"Oh, Montagues! Surprise, surprise! None of us Capulets want you here, so you hang out with Montagues instead. That is just so pathetic"

Fury took over Hermia's feelings of hurt and anguish, and she rapidly wiped away tears, rising with insults.

"You're pathetic! You wear cheap counterfeit clothes and pretend they're the real thing, because you're fake! All of you Oftmoros are fake! You are cheap trailer trash! And a chav! No wonder Angelo didn't want your ugly old mum anymore and traded her in for someone younger!" shouted Hermia. Her loud voice boomed around the Manor, and both of them knew that in spite of the music, downstairs everyone could hear them.

"Hey, stop it!" Orlando tried to command, slowly coming to his senses.

"Don't insult my mother like that!" roared Rosaline, storming closer and closer to Hermia, as they argued along the hall, getting closer to the top of the stairs for every screamed insult "She worked her butt off to bring us up! She actually cared about me, unlike yours, who had a heart attack because of what an ugly slag you turned out to be!"

"Ugly slag? Pa! Go look in the mirror. Get your family, and go look in a mirror. That's why Angelo left your mum, and it's why my dad slept with my mum, because he couldn't bear your insipid aunty! See! Your whole family sucks!"

"You little bitch" seethed Rosaline.

"Ha, ha!" cackled Hermia "Your dad would rather live with a fucking brat like Gabriel than you! Ha, ha! That's what I say to you. Ha, ha, ha!"

"You slut!" screamed Rosaline, lunging. Hermia leapt forwards to grab at her, and snatched a handful of her hair. Rosaline screeched in pain and wrestled against her vicelike grip.

"Put her down, bastard!" bellowed Tybalt from the bottom of the stairs. The guests and the Capulets had gathered around, and were watching horrified.

"This slut just made out with my boyfriend!" hollered Rosaline.

"You deserved it, messing with Romeo's head" hissed Hermia. She staggered under Rosaline's weight, and then tripped. Both girls shrieked, tumbling down, as their entire family and guests watched on in horror. Hermia was first to land, and Rosaline fell down on top of her. Rosaline groaned. Immediately Tybalt ran to her aid and pulled her up, and Juliet ran to Hermia's.

"Ros, Ros, you all right? Did she hurt you? Fucking bastard! Get out, we don't want you!"

Hermia cried in pain, clutching at her arm. It was suddenly bent and twisted in a funny angle. Juliet had pulled her upright into her arms. When she saw the extent of the damage, her eyes widened in horror "Oh my God, you broke her arm!" she fretted "Call an ambulance!"

"You stupid pair of girls" snarled Lord Capulet, bending over Hermia as groaned in pain. Juliet clung to her, as her eyes settled on Rosaline.

"I do want Hermia" she hissed at Rosaline "She's my sister"

"Enough!" said Lady Capulet "This is a disaster"

"Kick Hermia out!" commanded Tybalt.

"Shut up, chav!" snarled Juliet, stroking Hermia's hair from her face and trying to calm her "That was your fault, that was attempted murder!" she spat at Rosaline.

"Juliet, what have I told you about ladylike behaviour?" Lady Capulet sniped.