I put everything I have into my treatment.
This time I'm determined.
I want to get better.
I need to get better.
At first, I'm just doing it for my parents and for Edward, even if I don't see him again.
But as time goes on, I'm doing it for myself, too.
I learn how to channel my anger and hurt into something productive.
I start to keep a journal.
My roommate, Angela, and I become friends.
She's nice, doesn't pry and can tell when I want to keep to myself.
We don't really talk about what our issues are that brought us to Bridges, but I learned in group that she is in treatment for grief and depression.
Angela lost her mother, father and younger twin brothers to a home invasion gone wrong.
Her fiance, Ben, visits her each Sunday on visitors day.
My first week there, Charlie and Phil visited.
Neither mentioned Edward, and I didn't ask about him.
After that, they both had to go back to their work and lives.
I didn't expect any visitors for the rest of my stay, so I didn't even bother going out to the rec room the following Sunday.
When Angela peeked her head in the door and told me that there was someone waiting for me, I didn't believe her.
She dragged me out of our room over to...Rosalie.
After that, Rosalie visited every single weekend.
Two months into treatment, I finally work up the courage to ask her about Edward.
She smiles sadly at me and just tells me that he's okay.
It's a silent understanding between us that he's told her to not tell me anything.
I can't deny that it doesn't sting.
I keep a smile on my face, but later in my solo session with Dr. Black, I cry.
I let it all out.
Afterward, I feel better.