Kick Ass Wife

by P.Melendez

"One-shot" Gajevy:"...rest now shrimp..." The little blue haired woman smirked, "Yea...in peace..." Gajeel felt Levy move, and then there was a small click. Gajeel looked down, wide eyed. Levy had shot him. He felt liquid go through his shirt. The woman with blue hair smiled before breaking out into an almost evil laugh. "Got you..." (NO-Angst, trust me, its Humor)

Subject: 89P13

Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.

As he opened the front door, he took notice it was dark inside, the only light coming in from the slightly opened windows. He crouched down gripping the small gun with both hands and began to make his way into the hall but he heard a small creek, he quickly went up against the wall to watch a small orange object fly by. "Shit..." He heard his wife whisper. He took a deep breath "Shrimp...I know your there..." He heard a small scuffle before the house went quiet again. He peaked over a corner to see a small blue object disappear up the stairs. He raised his gun and ran to the staircase, as he pulled the trigger and the orange bullet struck onto the cabinet at the stop of the stairs. Missing its target by a centimeter. It was quiet before Gajeel heard his wife giggle. "There is extra ammo in the kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, and in Lily's room" Gajeel just smiled. "Lily ain't gonna like us being in his room". He then heard his wife take a breath before giggling again. "What he doesn't know won't kill him" Gajeel smirked at his wife's statement, "...but it might just kill you." He slowly made his way up the stairs, trying to hear where his wife's voice was coming from. They had lived in this house for about a year but he knew the creaky staircase like the back of his hand and avoided each unstable board. He kept his back against the wall, eyes trained to the corners on top of the stairs. "Where is that damn cat anyway..." Gajeel heard a small shuffle behind him and quickly dove into the hallway bathroom right as another suction cup bullet flew by his head, he huffed. "Oh, he went to visit the Exceeds with Carla and Happy..." Gajeel grabbed a few of the orange bullets and stuffed them into his pocket as he then took a deep breath. "Oh, alright...how long he gonna be gone for?" He then launched out of the bathroom and dove into the room parallel to it, which happen to be his beautiful wife's office, pulling the trigger on his small gun. Before disappearing into the other room, he saw the bullet slap into Levy's thigh. Before she dove into another room as well "GAHHHH!"He just laid down on the floor smirking, remembering how this all came to be...

~~20 minutes before~~

Gajeel walked up to his home, the day taking its toll on his muscles. He had just returned home from a short but heavy mission in Fross. It was only going to be a simple 3 day mission but because the owner of the fabric store underestimated the silk count, he had Gajeel face the 'silc warm' thought the whole week. He grunted as he rubbed his back, slowly making his way to his front door, 'shut...hope shrimp is home...'.

As he got closer he noticed a small, bright, orange, little toy gun on his front porch. 'what the hell?', He picked up the toy flipped it around and saw a note attached to it. He squinted his eyes as he automatically recognized the calligraphy handwriting of his small wife. The not read:

'Here is your weapon. I have one too! Good luck. XOXO' ~shrimp

Gajeel raised a studded brown, 'what he fuck-', His thought was suddenly cut off as something wet slapped onto his forehead. He looked up at the projectile and it was a small orange...stick? Gajeel reached up and ripped the small item from his face to see it was a small foam tube with a suction cup at the end. 'what the fuck!' He looked up. "WOW!, CRAP!" Gajeel stumbled back as another one came flying at him. It landed just a few inches short of his foot. Gajeel looked up so see a blob of blue hair disappear down the open window. "LEVY!...OI! SHRIMP!" Gajeel just stood there waiting for a response. After a few moments Levy's head popped up again. She gave a Cheshire cat grin and leaned out the window to address her large husband. "My dear husband! I have grown weary of your constant jesting with m-" She was cut off as Gajeel began to scream. "Why the fuck 'are you talking that way for shrimp-"

"SHUT UP! Let me finish!" Levy glared down at the man and cleared her throat, Gajeels mouth shut close. "Now where was I? ...uuu mmm... Yes ok, I have grown weary of your constant jesting with my height and strength, so I challenge thee to a duel!"" Levy let go a laugh and Gajeel just stared off. "what?" Levy huffed as she glared at her husband. "The gun Gajeel, try to hit me with it...well not the gun but the bullets. To win you have to hit the other person 3 times. I have 1 down, just 2 to go." Then suddenly Levy raised her hand and shot Gajeel with another one of the suction bullets. But Gajeel quickly jumped out of the way. "Why!? AH! What the fuck!" Levy huffed again at her oblivious husband. "GAJEEL! Come on! Just shoot me with the gun 3 times!" Gajeel hid under the canopy of there front porch. "Yea, I get what to do, what I don't get is Why?!" Levy sighed as she leaned against the window of there upstairs bathroom. "I'm sick and tired of not being strong enough to fight you head on!" Gajeel swallowed a lump in his throat as he peeked up to his wife.

"Levy you know that ain't true, you've beet ma' ass hundreds of times..." Levy just shook her head as she shoot him again, gajeel quickly ducked under the porch as well. "NO! I have seen you fight Gajeel, Really fight, you have taken on Dragons for Edolas sake, You hold back when we train! Lily holds back too!" Gajeel just stood there thinking over what his small wife had just said. Of course he holds back, but not because he doesn't think she isn't strong enough. "I just don't want to hurt you, Levy! Of course your strong" There was a moment of silence and gajeel had though his wife had come to her senses, he was wong. Then he heard Levy speak again. "Alright...Prove it...come up here and face me Gajeel Redfox!" Gajeel didn't move though,his body wouldn't listen to him as he trying willing it to move from the porch. "Yea...that's was I thought...Good luck Gajeel, cause I'm winning this battle. Love you!" Gajeel peaked back over to the window to find that his small wife was no longer there. He huffed and looked down at the orange little gun in his hands. He huffed as he closed his eyes. Alright, If this is how shorty will get over it, then so be it. But he wasn't going to make it easy. Gajeels eyes shot opened as he reached for the door handle.

~~End~~

Gajeel just huffed as he heard his wife shriek. "GAHHHH! Gajeel that is nasty! Did you lick the suction cup!?" The man smirked. "I needed it to stick, Gihihihi" He heard his small wife huff, before the house went quiet once again. Gajeel peeked out of the room, but quickly pulled it in as a small orange object came aimed at his forehead. He quickly shuffled back into the office, falling flat on his butt. "fuckl?! When you get to good at aiming shrimp!?". He heard a small giggle disappear down the stairs and into the living room. "Took shooting lessons from Bisca, and stealth classes from Pantherlily... I mean your always away on a mission, I had a lot of free time." Gajeel snuck out of the room, running down the stairs. He entered his kitchen quickly, again, missing a small projectile by a few inches. He dove behind the island and looked over the counter, loading his gun, to see Levy's blob of blue hair disappear behind the couch. He aimed his gun and the moment Levy's small head peeked back around the couch he pulled the trigger. "AHH! NO!", Gajeel chuckled, "GAJEEL! STOP LICKING THE AMO!" The man laughed failing to realize his small wife had come round the island and shot him in the chest. But when Gajeel leaped out of the way at the last minutes she then quickly ran up the stairs. Gajeel growled, running after her. The game began to excite him. 'We should do this most often...Gihihi...maybe naked.'

"Just give up shrimp, you can't get me...that second shot just caught me off guard." The large man with black hair screamed to his wife who was huddling behind the wall of their hall. The man, in turn, was hiding behind a couch chair. A blue haired woman huffed as she took a deep breath in. "No...I'm going to win...I have to win..." The man just glared at the wall. When Levy peaked out he aimed his gun and shot, missing but it went through her bright blue hair. The woman screeched. "I have to win..." He suddenly heard his wife whisper. "What do you mean, 'have to'...shrimp?" He then heard his small wife sniff. He looked at the wall closely. "Levy...?" His wife stayed quiet, and for about 2 min nobody moved, then she began. "I was talking to Lu-chan...after you left...She was telling me about her last mission with Natsu, they were fighting this huge Forest Valcan. She said it was bigger than Elf-chan..." Levy giggled, and Gajeel just smiled as she continued, at this point he leaned up against the back to his couch. "She told me about how the thing swallowed Natsu,whole, it was crazy. She told me she was out of magic power, she couldn't summon any of her spirits, and Loke was out of commission."Levy began to cry, unbeknownst to her husband, tears rolled down her eyes. "She told me with the little strength she had, She slammed into the Vulcans legs, and as he fell, she grabbed her wip and sliced the monster in half...Natsu was alright and after collecting the reward they went home..." Gajeel tried to find what was wrong with the story, but he couldn't see it. So bunny girl killed a Valcan, so what? He then heard his wife sob and he shot up from the couch, running over to where her small form was, He saw tears streaming down her face, her body shook as she held the gun to her chest. "Sh-She is p-pregnant Gajeel!" The woman's body shook as she cried, her husband wrapped his arms around her. So she was worried for Bunny girls baby? The man really didn't know what to do. "So you were worried for her safety?..." The woman shook her head. "n-No...If Lucy was hurt, Natsu would have taken care of it...but she was pregnant Gajeel, nearly 6 months and she is going on dangerous missions!" Gajeel was lost and had stopped trying to understand, hoping his wife would explain hat she was crying about. Finally after a couple of moments of Levy crying, Gajeel couldn't take it anymore. "Levy, what is the matter?" His wife continued to sob, and for a moment it seemed as if she will never stop. He felt so weak, he always hated when she cries, especially when he didn't have an idea as to why. Then she just stopped, she looked up at her husband and just sighed, tears still in the corners of her eyes. "I'm being a baby aren't I? hehehe" Gajeel just frowned and put his hand under her chin. "Levy...what's wrong?"The woman's smile dropped. She hid her head into his chest. "She is doing missions while pregnant, Gajeel...she is so strong...Look at me..." It finally clicked in his mind. She felt weak, the game, the chase, all of it was because she felt weak. He looked down at his wife and smiled, picking her head up once more. "I do see ya Levy...I see a beautiful woman, a strong and intelligent and amazing little shrimp..." Levy smiled sadly at her husband. "You have to say that, you love me." Gajeel shook his head. "I love you know, but I didn't love you then...But even back then when I was a shit, from the very beginning ya' were always strong, Levy. From the very beginning I admire y'r bravery and intelligence. You were perfect. Who gives a fuck if ya' aren't as strong as bunny girl. That bitch is crazy anyway, why the fuck she doing' missions 6 months pregnant?" Levy sapped her husband on the shoulder for name calling but she smiled at him, knowing thats not really what Gajeel thought of Lucy. "Thank you Gajeel, I love you so much…". The large man leaned in, cupping Levy's face in his large hands. "God, I love ya' too shrimp, so much…". At what her husband had said, Levy leaned in and kissed the man, running her small hands through his thick hair. They pulled away, breathless, and Gajeel continued to stare at Levy's red plump lips, but they were quickly pulled into a frown. Gajeel looked up, "Whats up?", Levy bit her lip and looked down, staring at Gajeel through her blue bangs. "I'm sorry, I just...she goes on mission with Natsu...Gajeel." Gajeel smirked, seeing where she was going with it. The man chuckled before bending down again and catching his wife's lips."We'll go on a mission...soon… I just worry…" Gajeel put a hand over his wife's still flat stomach. Levy rolled her eyes and patted his hand, but looked at him reassuringly. "Trust me, the baby is ok." Gajeel smirked and nodded before speaking again

"...let me rest now shrimp..." The little blue haired woman smirked, "Yea...in peace..." Gajeel felt Levy move, and then there was a small click. Gajeel looked down, Levy had shot him. He felt liquid go through his shirt. The woman with blue hair smiled before breaking out into an almost evil laugh. "Got you..."

The man smirked at his wife's antics, yes she had won the battle...but he is winning the war. Before Levy knew it she was being lifted off the floor into her husband's arms. "AHHH! Gajeel! NO!" The man chuckled as he threw her over his shoulder, giving her ass a small tap. The couple laughed as they disappeared up the stairs, giggles and growls being heard along the way.

~~Hours Later~~

A small animal made his way into a two story house. He huffed as he rubbed his tiered shoulders. He looked around his home and just rolled his eyes, suction bullets on the floor, and a small orange gun near a couch. He headed into the kitchen, and opened the fridge reaching in and grabbed a small juice box that read. "Lily's Kiwi" in front of it. He slurped it up with glee for a moment before throwing the disparaged box into a small trash can. He then waddled his way to the stairs, with the purpose of going to sleep. The small Exceed finally made his way to his room, Lily opened his door but as his small paw hit the first step, he froze. His small scar above his eye scrunching up as he sniffed the air. His eyes widened as he realized one detail about his home.

"WHO WAS IN MY ROOM!?"

~~END~~