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The Secret Life of Kuroko Tetsuya: The (Straight) Boy's Love Novelist

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Shutoku, they were a worthy opponent and team, after all... They were one of three kings. But that still didn't spare them from a Fujoshi's criticising eye... "They look like a group of convicts that endured hardships that successfully broke out of prison, who are now attempting to blend into society with their orange prison uniforms now customised to look like basketball uniforms." Commented Rindou as we watched the tape from Matsuki's television set. As I promised Riko, I was fulfilling my duties as manager, researching our upcoming opponents. "Hey, is that godly shooter guy not playing anymore? He was only in for like one quarter! I need to see Advisor Tomoya! Do you know how upset I was when Evening Moonlight Tryst ended!?" Exclaimed the second year girl as she grabbed the screen. She attempted to get a glance at him from every corner, not that she'll ever see him considering that this was a damn tape. "I'm not done with my carrot jokes yet!"

It had been established very early on, the moment we had seen him step onto the court, that he looked like a vegetable. A carrot to be exact.

"Sit down! Some of us are actually trying to enjoy the match," stated Matsuki as he pealed the girl away from the screen by force. "Kids these days." He muttered beneath his breath as he crossed his arms over his chest, giving us that judgemental look he did when he was in one of his moods.

"Adults these days," Rindou and I deadpanned back at him. "Always a failure at love." We jabbed pointed fingers in his direction. That seemed to shut him up as the man sighed before slumping over his desk in pain. That should keep him quiet for about an hour, or so.

"Leave me alone..." He whispered. What a pitiful sight...

"But those guys must be really good to be called a King," Rindou told me, shifting our focus back to the game, she was watching the screen from a more appropriate distance now. "But I don't get how there could be three Kings... Wouldn't there be total bloodshed and war now over territories?" She asked me. "I mean really, there's no way three kings could possibly co-exist in peace on one single piece of land... Unless, THEY'RE ALL LOVERS." She clasped her hands over her mouth, her eyes glowing as she embraced her fantasy.

I shook my head, sometimes she took things a bit too seriously. "They're not actual Kings..." But that idea she was saying was pretty interesting. My imagination ran a little with the scenario, maybe it would have looked a little like this...

"Come my fellow men, we shall charge and make this Kingdom ours!" Declared the Orange King. "Follow me as we conquer this land! If you do, I shall give you all carrots! Free carrots!"

No... That idea was just... Ridiculous. It didn't seem to work with any of my works, and I don't see it ever selling on the racks. It didn't appeal to Fujoshis enough unless...

"Come here my precious carrots," the man laughed, gesturing for the 'carrot' to come towards him. "Come and let me eat you~" The said 'carrot' was simply just a man in a costume, who let out a terrifying scream.

I felt my face blank, 'Perhaps I should just skip over this entire thought process.' My imagination needs a break right now, too much energy was being used up to create unusable fantasies. "Maybe we should move on to watch the Seihou matches?" I suggested as I passed Rindou the tape to change.

We had begun this entire process with Shutoku games because of Rindou's insistence to see how the former Generation of Miracle member (Advisor Tomoya in her mind) was doing, now that we've watched those, it was time to move onto to Seirin's actual opponents. It's true that Shutoku would be Seirin's next opponents in the Interhigh, but that was only if we managed to first beat the first King in our path, Seihou.

The girl didn't move, she was frozen in a stupor as she giggled softly. I jabbed her side as she yelled out in pain, "What happened? Whatever it is, I am not responsible." Exclaimed Matsuki, standing up from his slump as he tossed his hands into the air.

Rindou and I shared a look before we silently shook our heads, this guy...

Rindou proceeded with my instructions as the tape began to roll. "What an aesthetically unattractive team." Noted Rindou, I sighed. "Except for the blonde guy, he looks like one of those senpais you would use in a shoujo manga to lure young girls into a karaoke bar." Matsuki and I stared at each other before we stared back at Rindou, this girl... 'What the hell goes on in her head?' On second thought, I don't think I'd ever want to take a look on the inside of this Fujoshi's mind.

Matsuki's eyes seemed to widen as he stared at the screen, "That form..." He started.

"They have nice asses." Interrupted Rindou.

Matsuki scowled in irritation, I tossed him the tape on my desk as I watched the man forcefully tape Rindou's mouth, maybe that'll finally give us some peace and quiet here in this office. Rindou waved her arms in silent protest but she was ignored. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by this pervert," said the elder man. "That form and stance looks like a type of martial arts one of my former high school friends used to study. It's actually a really good defensive technique." He pointed out as he slowed the tape and showed me the main points that I hadn't noticed before. "If you want Seirin to win, so that you can be reunited with your megane prince, you're going to have to find a way to overcome this issue." He told me.

"Matsuki-sensei," I stared at him. "You can surprisingly be smart when you want to be."

The man twitched in annoyance, "You damn kids think you guys can say anything just because you're both making a lot of money." Snapped the pink haired man as he clutched the remote with an iron grip. "You both should learn to respect your elders."

"But doesn't that mean you're just admitting that you're old." Replied Rindou, the girl had finally managed to rip off the tape from the lips, she checked her lips to ensure that no residue adhesive was left behind. "Damn that tape was strong."

"I'm not that old!" He exclaimed in rage.

My eyes stared at the screen, fixated by the game that Seihou was playing. 'Matsuki-sensei has a point... That defence is going to be an issue, especially since Seirin is more of an offence team.' I stared at the number projected on the score board. "Matsuki-sensei, do you happen to remember this name of martial arts?" I asked him.

The man thought about it for a moment, "Not really, but I can always message my friend and ask him." He told me. "When's the game again? I'm not sure when he'll be able to reply to you considering he travels often for his work."

"Tomorrow." I stated. "First thing in the morning."

Matsuki stared at me, I couldn't tell whether he was smiling or wincing. "Your perception of time sucks when it comes to anything other than your deadlines..." He murmured to himself, "Next time research earlier, not the day before the match..." He told me, walking over to his desk as he grabbed his phone to message his friend, I presumed. "What..." Matsuki froze in place. I raised a curious brow as I stared at him, did something important happen? "I GOT A LOVE MATCH! SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAID YES TO THE MARRIAGE INTERVIEW!" Yelled the man, he pumped his fist up into the air. No, nothing important at all. Rindou and I ignored him, our eyes flickering back to the screen. "Oi you brats, say something!" Exclaimed Matsuki, the man stood in front of the television, obstructing our view of the game.

"Why? It won't last." We told him bluntly.

Matsuki twitched, "What do you mean it won't last? That woman has seen the worst side of me during our arranged marriage interview when I got drunk and took her to a karaoke bar! And she still said yes to actually marrying me, this will work. This relationship will work!"

My eyes met with Rindou, he didn't get it did he... "Matsuki-sensei," I started. "What happens when she asks to see some of the work you publish as an editor and manager?" He dropped his phone, he finally understood. "She's going to find out that you publish boys love, and all she needs to do is look around this office." I pointed to the selves, filled for he rim with my books. The genre, very clearly shown, no words needed.

"Explicit boys love." Added Rindou. "R18, and above!"

I raised a brow at her, "I don't write explicit content." I reaffirmed.

Rindou smiled, "Doesn't stop the Fujoshi Angels from dreaming about it though~" I ignored her.

"And once she realises what you publish, she'll probably end up dumping you, and you'll be single all over again." I continued from where I left off.

Matsuki's hands dropped, slumping to his side, he finally got it. "GET RID OF THE BOOKS!" He moved to the selves where the first editions rested. "Tetsuya! We need to get rid of these terrible books!" He pulled at his hair.

"You're going to go bald if you keep doing that, and it's not like you can get rid of the books. Company's policy, all first editions must remain in the building, Matsuki-sensei." I reminded him. "Don't panic so much, she hasn't asked to come to your office yet." I told him, brushing Matsuki's worries aside, I focused on my own as I messaged Riko my findings.

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"And this is the solution you came up with." I deadpanned, looking at the Seirin jersey on my being. "I never agreed to this." I told her bluntly. Riko ignored me. I could only sigh before I stared back at Kagami's grinning face, "You look like you want to eat young children." I deadpanned, my eyes followed his gaze as it landed on none other than Shutoku's resident carrot.

Kagami smirked, "I'm going to introduce myself." He marched over to the miracle member, my phone found itself in my palm within moments, my fingers creating magic...

He was confident in himself, he didn't care if he was in public, or hell, even in front of the leering and curious eyes of millions. All he saw was him, and he knew that he wanted him. He strode over to the male, wearing his best smile on his lips, "Hey you," he said. "My name is Shigure Ayabe, and you're going to remember it." He told him.

The other man nodded, "Ah..." He was loss for words as he held out his hand for Ayabe to shake.

Shigure smirked, he took the pen from his pocket and began writing on the teen's hand. "Call me when you're lonely, I'll be sure to come over and keep you occupied anytime." He winked before walking away.

Snap. Snap. "Wow, it's Yaoi in real life." I nodded in agreement.

Wait a minute. My blood froze cold as I snapped my head to see Rindou standing beside me, her phone out as she snapped photographs of Kagami, Midorima and Shutoku's number 10# interact. "It's like a triangle of love..." Rindou whispered.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, mildly surprised. She never came to a game, hell, she never came to anything not Fujoshi related. Ever.

Rindou smiled, "I wanted to watch you play!" She posed cutely with wink.

I jabbed her at the side. "Leave." I uttered lowly, giving her my best glare. "Leave now."

Rindou pouted, "Fine, but I'm staying for the match!"

"Shin-Chan!" Our ears perked from the nickname.

"Shin-"

"Chan?" I finished as we turned back to stare at them.

Rindou was grinning like an idiot, "Who do you think is the dominate one...?"

"Probably, Shin-Chan." I noted. "They make such a good pair..." I whispered, my eyes scanning the Shutoku first year duo. "... Why are you still here?" My head turned to the older girl.

Rindou smiled, "Don't worry, I'll be off now~" She began to skip away, I let out a sigh of relief. "OH MY GOD! ITS HIRO!" My head snapped back at a painfully fast speed as I watched Rindou run towards Kise Ryouta and Kaijo's captain, Kasamatsu. I felt my blood drain from my face before I took a deep breath, 'It's alright, Rindou is smarter than I give her credit for, she won't do anything reckless. She won't expose anything, she'll probably just take photographs or something.' I looked back. 'WHY IS SHE SITTING NEXT TO HIM AND TALKING TO HIM?'

"Kuroko," said Kagami, who had come back over after his little introduction to Midorima. "You look like you want to kill someone."

I nodded, "I do want to kill someone, but since that someone is too far away, I'll take it out on Seihou."

Kagami grinned, "That's the spirit, Kuroko!" He placed his hand on my head and began to ruffle my hair. I heard a familiar shriek from the audience.

I wanted to kill her so badly...

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"I never miss a shot, so I can ensure that you'll definitely fall for me." He pushed his glasses up against his nose as he leaned, his eyes never once looking away. "Natsuki Ryouji, I will make you mine." He whispered into the ears of the new intern before he pulled away. As if he hadn't done a thing, Director Matsoba left, satisfied.

Natsuki Ryouji sunk to his knees before finally giving in as he collapsed on the floor from the tension, his face red as he watched his boss leave. It was only his first day working as a male nurse in this hospital but he had already wanted to quit.

That's what I would have typed up, if only I had my damn phone!

"Alright, we surpassed one King," said Hyuuga, as team Seirin had huddled around in a circle. I felt exhausted as I clung onto the nearest person to me, which was Kagami. "Now all we need to do is surpass another!" Whatever the man said next, I didn't hear it. I only nodded along.

"Coach," I said to Riko as the girl looked up at me with a smile. "Can I please be subbed out? I feel like my lack of fitness will only bring down the team..." I admitted. No matter how many times I practiced with Rindou and Matsuki during office hours, I still didn't seem to get my fitness or speed up.

The brunette girl shook her head before smiling, "I'll sub you out after 40 minutes~" Ah yes, 40 minutes, my time limit on the court before my misdirection expires as we have realised in the Kaijou game. At least now I know how long it'll take until the Swimming team realises I'm there, recording them...

I sighed, the Coach was the devil. "Yes..."