Chapter 4.

Our secret meet-ups continued to the next year, when the Tri-Wizard tournament was held at Hogwarts. I was very busy helping Harry with his tasks for the tournament, so I got to see Draco less and less.

We still met up at least every week in the library, but they were short and felt rushed. I had begun to miss our times together, and I felt like he did too.

When the ball was announced, I was very nervous about getting a date.

I knew that Harry would go with me if I asked him to, but I didn't want to encourage the rumours about us to spread even further. I believed that Ron would ask me, but I doubt he had the courage in him.

I was surprised when Viktor Krum asked me. The other girls in the dorm were certain that he had been staring at me since he arrived, but I supposed I didn't notice it. He was 3 years older than me and built entirely out of muscle. Any normal girl wouldn't hesitate in saying yes. But I'd be lying if I said that my yes was a genuine one. I was out of options.

"I heard you're going to the ball with Krum," Draco asked one night, as we were putting books back on their shelves.

He had wanted to put them up by magic to save the time, but I insisted that we put them back by hand. It was therapudic and calming to sort books back to their proper order. He had rolled his eyes and sighed, but didn't protest.

I could feel him watching me as I stared at the shelf intently.

"Yes, that's right," I replied.

"Why? He doesn't seem your type," he asked.

I shrugged, "why do you care?"

"I don't," he said quickly.

The air was still for a few minutes as we worked silently. We were back to back, facing opposite shelves.

"I wish I could take you," he said suddenly.

I froze. He quickly turned around and faced my back.

"As friends, of course," he rushed.

I turned to face him in the narrow space between the shelves.

"Of course," I replied.

"I heard you're going with Pansy," I said, looking down at his chest.

"That's right," he replied, "as friends."

I snorted, "have you seen how she looks at you? Have you even paid attention?"

I met his eyes and he stared in mine intently.

"Not in the slightest," he said, unwaveringly.

The air between us became tense and heavy. It's like I could feel every molecule separating us. I felt him move a millimetre closer. Then a centimetre.

My mind ran fast. My mind ran to the possibilities. The consequences. The outcomes. If I allowed Draco Malfoy to kiss me, I'd be opening a rabbit hole that wasn't meant to be opened.

The future. That future.. was quiet impossible.

His lips were an inch away from mine. His deep, deep eyes staring into me like a void.

I quickly looked down and stepped away an inch.

"We should get these away," I muttered quietly, avoiding his eyes.

He was silent for a moment.

"Sure," he said normally.

"Do you want to meet here after the ball?" I asked him.

He agreed.

When the ball came around, I felt prepared. Of course, I'm always prepared. But girl-hood, particularly magical, was new to me. I had mastered the spells to apply makeup and adjust and style hair. I had picked out my dress carefully, having studied the colour options and availability very carefully. I was prepared and ready. And I felt amazing.

I walked down the stairs and met Harry and Ron and we walked to the ball together.

"You- you look real nice, Hermione," Ron said.

I thanked him carefully.

They left quickly once we arrived to meet up with Padma and Pavarti, their dates. I had agreed to meet Viktor near entrance, so I waited patiently at the bar near the door. I asked for a drink, and was waiting when I felt a presence next to me.

Draco stood there, looking rather dashing in his well fitted formal suit. He looked down at me and quickly ordered a drink. He leaned down very quickly to whisper in my ears.

"You look beautiful, Hermione," he breathed, touching the small of my back for a moment.

My skin. My blood. My hair. My lips. Were on fire. Every sense was alive and aching to move towards him. I swallowed.

"You don't look too bad yourself, Draco" I muttered under my breath.

"Draacooo," a whiny voice whimpered next to him, "why did you come here, you already have a drink."

Pansy Parkinson was wearing a short black dress that ended at her upper thighs. I was surprised she was allowed through the doors with her heavy eye makeup and overbearing cleavage.

I stopped short when I realised that my misdirected hate was, in fact, jealousy.

"Getting a drink for you, love," he replied calmly, looking down at the small girl attached to his elbow.

She shrieked in happiness and clinged onto him. She reached up on her toes and kissed him squarely on the lips with a loud smack.

"Oh, you!" she squealed.

My stomach turned violently and I felt ill. I turned away from the couple, drink in hand, and walked to the entrance to wait alone.

Viktor came in shortly after, finding me with a kind smile.

"Good evening, Hermione," he said, rolling the "r" too much.

"Good evening, Viktor," I replied nicely.

He held out his arm for me, and I took it easily. We walked down the pathway towards the entrance to the main ball room, and fell in line with the other victors.

He noticed the drink in my hand, and pulled out a small metal flask, pouring dark liquid into the glass. I looked at him with wide eyes, and glanced around to see if anyone else had seen me.

"It's just whiskey," Viktor said slowly, "for fun night."

I met Draco's eyes, who was staring at Viktor darkly. He looked down at me and shook his head quickly.

I looked at Viktor. He nodded, and took a swig of the flask to show me that it was harmless.

I felt beautiful. And daring. I looked at Draco and cocked and eyebrow. He shook his head again, pressing his lips together.

I downed the rest of my drink in one go.

He smirked at me, bemused. Pansy pulled on his arm and his eyes left mine.

"Well done!" Viktor cried, laughing deeply.

The music started and I was led down the pathway towards the dance floor.

Viktor knew what he was doing. He kept me with a drink in hand, always offering to get me a replacement. A true gentleman. He fed me enough of his whisky to keep the conversation light and the night fun, but not enough so that I would stumble over my own feet- not that I needed alcohol to help me with that in those heels.

I had to endure watching Pansy fawn over Draco, but I was pleased with how detached he seemed from her. He would respond to her advances, but not press them further. The Draco that I thought I knew would have taken full advantage.

Later in the night, I was feeling blissful and confident, dancing with Viktor as much as he wanted. The ball room had been converted to a semi-nightclub, with bright lights and loud, live music. The air was electric and the drinks continued to come.

His dancing became closer, and I was feeling less comfortable with the situation.

I turned my head and notice Draco sitting at a table, continuing to stare at Viktor with dark eyes.

He's jealous, I realised.

Draco Malfoy was jealous that I was drunk and dancing with a man 3 years my senior.

I feel happy. Gleeful. Sexy.

I felt desired.

Viktor and I were on the edge of the dance-floor, not wanting to be in the middle of everyone. I could clearly see Draco's table from here.

Viktor turned me around by hips and danced behind me. The music turned slower, and I had a horrible idea pop into my head.

It was dark. It was bad. But I guess I was just in that kind of mood at the time.

I met Draco's eyes, as they looked at me almost painfully.

I slipped my hands behind my back, grasping Viktors hands. I brought them to my waist, as I backed up onto Viktor, the lengths of our bodies meeting.

I began to grind against him to the beat of the music, keeping Draco's eyes steadily. I cocked my head at him slightly, and his eyes bulged out. His jaw dropped a little.

I moved my body along Viktors, who kept up with my change of mood very easily. I bent my knees and dropped close to the ground and smoothly raised back up, pressing my body against his.

Draco drank the rest of his drink, maintaining eye contact with me.

Then he quickly got up, and walked briskly out of the room, a shocked and panicked Pansy racing after him.

Viktor whispered something unintelligible under his breath. I smelled the strong whisky on the words, as he turned me back around.

He quickly and hurriedly kissed me. I had not expected it at all, and realised the downfall of my game with Draco.

Luckily, I felt a hand close around mind and pull me away from him.

"We're leaving," Ron said to me, looking very upset.

"Ronald, let go of me!" I cried

Ron continued to pull me out of the ball and into the corridor. People shuffled by as they headed to the dormitories.

"How dare you!" I cried.

His face was contorted. He breathed in deeply

"Are you drunk?" he asked firmly

"What I do, Ronald Weasley, is none of your business!" I cried back

"Oh yes it is. It is when you're friends with me and Harry and you're whoring yourself out to the enemy!"

My heart clenched. The enemy? Did he know about Draco?

"I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't try to lie to me Hermione," Ron spat, "I saw it in there with my own eyes. His hands all over you. You kissed."

I sighed.

"What I do with Viktor is none of your concern! Why do you even care!"

"I care," Ron started, looking frustrated, "I care because you're ruining Harry's reputation! You're supposed to be neat and.. and.. smart!"

I scoffed, "I'm allowed to be whatever I want to be. Whoever I want to be."

"And I would appreciate if you kept your nose out of my business!" I yelled.

I rushed away from the ball, feeling hurt and disgusted with myself. Had I been wrong to lead Viktor on like that? Definitely. But I didn't mean to hurt anybody, and I especially didn't expect that reaction from Ron.

I went to my usual deserted spot in the eastern corridors. A little round nook on the corner with a wooden bench that overlooked the lake. I often found myself there after a long day or when I have a lot on my mind.

I cried and cried, wetting my dress with my own tears. I cried until I had no tears left, and I felt my face dry and I calmed a little.

"Granger," I heard behind me.

I turned quickly and saw Draco stepping into the room with me.

"Draco," I sighed, "you scared me."

"I waited for you," he said firmly, "in the library."

"Oh," I sighed sadly.

Another person I managed to hurt tonight.

"I'm so sorry," I replied, "I guess I wasn't up for the company tonight."

Draco stood in front of me, but I didn't meet his eyes.

"I knew he would hurt you. I knew I should have stopped the two of you," he spat out, almost to himself.

"I can't believe I let my own reputation stop me from protecting you. I swear to Merlin. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to-"

I looked up at him. His eyes were dark. Scary.

"Who? Viktor?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Victor didn't hurt me. He didn't do anything that I wasn't asking for."

I had spoken with Draco so much over the past year, I desperately wanted to tell him of my fight with Ron, but I felt too ashamed of myself. I felt that Ron's words, however harsh, were right.

Draco's breathing became uneven.

"Did you fuck him, then, Granger?" Draco asked quickly.

I paused. I looked up at him.

"Why would you ask that?" I hissed, "why is everyone so god-damned interested in my sex life tonight?"

Draco stared at my eyes, obviously seeing the red rings and tear streaked makeup under the light of the moon.

He sat down beside me, facing me.

"No, Draco," I sighed, "I didn't fuck him."

I spat out the word like it had a bad taste in my mouth.

"He did give me one god-awful kiss though," I continued.

"Then what happened?" he asked softer.

His eyes were warmer and calmer. I felt the air tingle as it usually does when he's around.

"Ronald removed me from the floor and gave me a lecture about how I was whoring myself out to him," I explained quietly.

Draco was quiet.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to the library," I said, "I probably should have just come to you to talk about it."

"I thought that you weren't interested in Viktor," Draco said, "you seemed.. interested."

I met Draco's eyes, which seemed saddened.

"I'm not," I said, blushing, "it was stupid. I was stupid."

"And drunk, apparently," Draco replied.

"Yes," I swallowed, and looked up at him, "do you think I'm horrible."

He shrugged, "just normal."

He pulled his own flask out from inside his jacket. This one has intricate carvings and marks along it, with a large curled "M" in the centre.

He took a long swig from it, and offered it to me. I took it, and took a drink.

I swallowed the liquid and coughed loudly.

He laughed at me, and I immediately felt calmer knowing that he wasn't upset with me.

Something about his presence calmed me. I felt safer.

I became aware of his closeness as he leaned his arm along the back of the chair behind me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked curiously.

I nodded, "feeling shitty for wasting my first kiss on someone like Viktor. Someone I wasn't even interested in."

"Viktor was your first kiss?" Draco asked, "really?"

"Of course," I said, "why do you sound so surprised?"

He shrugged, "I thought you'd have all of the Griffindors after you."

He paused for a moment, "I know I would be."

My breathing faltered. My heard tightened.

This decision was a big part of my downfall, but I was completely consumed by Draco Malfoy.

I turned to him, and his calm eyes were firey. He met mine and they tightened as he read my expression.

His hand came up to push a loose hair back into place, and his face swiftly closed the gap between us.

His warm lips pushed against mine, and I kissed him back. At first, slowly, and then much faster. My hands pressed against the side of his smooth cheeks, and my fingers twined into his hair, pulling him closer. His hands found my waist and he gripped my sides with need.

I was out of breath when he pulled away, feeling overwhelmed and light headed. I gasped at the air. He seemed amused by my reaction.

"I hope I helped to change the memory," he said quietly, his forehead touching mine.

His hands twined into mine and we sat silently for a moment, my breath slowing but my heart maintaining it's fast pace.

"Yes," is all I could muster, feeling awkwardly undeserving of the man in front of me.

He touched my cheek again, running his thumb along the angle of my jaw. His lips pressed against mine for a moment, and he lifted his body up away from me.

I felt dizzy. He gripped my hands and helped me to my feet.

"It's almost curfew, we should get back."

I nodded.

His fingers twined into mine and we slowly headed back. I didn't want to sleep. I didn't want to leave him. I didn't want to end this moment.

I felt guilty for the events earlier in the night, but I had never felt so complete. Never felt more like I belonged.

"They don't appreciate you," Draco began, "Potter and Weasley."

"Oh?"

"They treat you like an object to be presented. Like a tutor. Or something to carry their weight. They don't deserve you."

I shrugged, "they're my friends."

"I know," he agreed, "but they don't understand you."

"I know."

He didn't press the matter, but his words weighed heavily in my heart. Draco was the only person at Hogwarts that didn't take full advantage of my academic achievements or my close relationships with my teachers. I felt used and worn when I was around them.

With Draco, I felt equal. Deserving and deserved.

I held his hand tighter, and he ran his thumb along the side of mine.

I breathed out slowly.

We reached the corridor where we would part, and he turned to me, taking my waist into his hand.

"Let's keep this between us," he said quietly, "I don't want this affecting your friendships with your house. It would make things hard for you."

"What exactly is this?" I asked curiously.

He smiled at me, leaned down and his lips met mine again.

The blood rushed around my body and I felt hot again.

When I opened my eyes, he was walking away, hands in his pockets. I took a moment, and wandered back to the dormitories.