I'd been alone for over an hour now. No one had chased me as I stormed out of the wedding, which was quite surprising to me. But at the same time, I was slowly losing control of my emotions as I reminiced everything that had led me to this point.
Is that how I got here?! Is that the grand adventure know as my life that landed me here, hiding in the Malfoy's library wearing a disgustingly coloured dress that looked so big on me that it might have originally been sized for Hagrid? That's it?!
"And here I thought my life was more dramatic than that..." I muttered, shaking my head as I stared at the now fading flames. From the way every talked about me, it made my life seem like some unending circus of tempers, screams and fit of crying. I honestly think that people get me mixed up with my sister.
I suppose the worst part about being able to remember all of this is that looking back now, and seeing where this was going, I could have prevented it so easily! I could have put my foot down and just told Pansy off, or told Draco to make up his mind for good! I could have drowned my sister as a child... I could have cursed her that night when I had the chance, and it could have been blamed on a stray spell. I could have killed my parents as well that night... not that that would make much of a difference; they probably would come back from the dead and haunt me. So would my sister, come to think of it.
I'll never be able to escape them... I think that might be the worst part! I thought, sighing to myself. Even if I did make it out of this wedding alive (which was unlikely after the way I acted last night...), I knew they would be hounding me every waking hour, no doubt saying things like 'Draco is such a wonderful husband; when will you find someone as good as him?'
I may poison myself if they said that to me. But it was a possibility.
This morning was no exception to the unending torture of being near my family again. They had come in and told me to get up and make myself look 'decent' like it was impossible to even do that.
Not in this bedsheet for a dress... I sniffed as I looked down at its pale pink fabric that was sized too big for me. When my family told me to gain back all the weight that I had lost, they apparently must have thought that I was at one time the size of Neville. Of course, after they saw me put on the dress this morning and saw how oddly it fit, it was my fault for not filling out properly.
The worst part of the morning was that I was massively hungover and still wearing the same red dress from the night before. And, amazingly enough, I had slept alone. After all, with both Blaise and Draco in the house, I half-expected my sleep to be disturbed at some point in the evening...
Wait a moment, it was! I remembered suddenly, furrowing my eyebrows a little. I remember hearing the door open and close... but there was no one there... or no one who was willing to show themselves to me. Or perhaps I was hallucinating; wouldn't put it past myself at this point.
"Probably just Blaise being his usual sneaky self... I was so drunk I wouldn't have noticed anything if he had." I muttered as I absently fiddled with the bracelet I was wearing. On top of the Greengrass pendent that I was told to wear, I was also given a slightly-tarnished bangle that had my full name engraved on it; Daphne Regine Greengrass. The last part of the title stared back at me like a blinding, mocking light; Greengrass. How I cursed the name today...
There was a sound from outside the door, and I turned to look over my shoulder. The brass doorknob turned slowly and opened just wide enough for a person to slide in. My chest was tight, but I ignored it and put on my best face of disgust.
Of course, he came to find me... I thought bitterly, turning away as soon as I saw that cursed blonde head of his enter the room. Probably came to kick me off his property, or to beg for forgiveness...
"Feeling alright Daphne?" Draco asked politely like I was one of his co-workers or someone from Slytherin that he never knew but felt he had an obligation to speak to. I started to laugh, staring at the fire again as I attempted to stop myself from crying again. I told myself over and over, chanting in my head, that I would not give him the satisfaction that he could still, after all this time, make me cry.
"Perfect. Fantastic. I am fine." I replied sarcastically, still not looking at him. There was silence in the room, and I could feel him looking at me, but I wasn't sure how. At first, I felt comfort in the lack of communication between us; it made me think that perhaps he felt some sort of emotion that could resemble remorse for what he'd done. But then I couldn't take the silence anymore, knowing that we were both just waiting for the other to speak, so I closed my eyes, gave in as usual, and took a deep breath. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to find you," He said in an almost matter-of-fact voice. I rolled my eyes and made a sarcastic face of gratitude, but still did not turn towards him; I was still afraid that if I faced him, I would break down. "Are you going to come down to join us again?"
"Did my parents send you here?" I growled huskily. I had briefly considered his offer for a moment but then thought that it might be a trap, and I decided against going willingly.
"No, they don't know I'm up here," he said quietly, almost as if he knew my temper was going to flare up.
That answer surprised me. Was he telling me that he ran away from his own wedding and his blushing bride to find me? That was certainly what it sounded like he was alluding to. Taking a deep breath and then letting it out in a long sigh, I finally turned around in my seat to face him, face stone cold but eyes most likely giving myself away. He looked so fantastically beautiful today that I could feel my heart pounding with the familiar swoon of emotion. Resist! I told myself.
"That doesn't sound very smart, does it?" I replied flatly.
"Maybe not, but it's what I want to do," He replied lightly as he stepped forward and took a seat on the nearby loveseat. "You didn't answer my question though."
"I don't think I need to," I sniffed a quick laugh. He looked at me for clarification, and I rolled my eyes in annoyance."No. I will not be joining you for the reception."
"Not even if I ask it as a personal favour?" he asked me in that same voice he used to win me over with at Hogwarts.
Don't give in to the bastard... don't do it!
My mind hissed at me angrily. Most of my sanity told me to ignore it, to fight it off with all my might... But there was still that part of me that wanted him so bad that I wasn't sure I could control it.
"I think..." I started, biting on my lip as I tried to fight the insane part of my brain that wanted to just leap onto his lap. I closed my eyes in an effort to calm my sense, and I took another deep breath before I finally figured out a response. "I think that gives me even more reason to not go."
I opened my eyes slowly and saw that he was staring right at me, his face looking like it had been carved by angels, but looking back as stiffly and reserved as ever. Then, like he thought I was joking, he shook his head a chuckled quietly.
"C'mon Daph, you can't still be sulking about this..." he said in that damn condescending tone.
"Don't call me Daph!" I growled, my teeth locked closed like a bear trap, holding my emotions in. "And yes, for your information, I can!"
"Oh for God sakes, Daphne." He sighed as he slouched back onto the couch in frustration. "Are you really going to drag this out for as long as you can?"
I looked at him like he had just told me I looked like Potter; insulted and shocked. "What are you saying, Draco?" I hissed angrily at him.
"I can't believe you're still going on about all of this," He chuckled again and shook his head slowly. "How long do you intend to keep this going?"
"Keep what going?" I sneered at his insinuation; I wanted him to say it out loud.
"This whole... being angry at your sister thing!" he explained, his eyes showing how annoyed he was that he did have to explain. I noted that he, of course, in an attempt to deflect all blame, did not say 'angry with me'.
"As long as I want!" I snapped back, now standing from the chair in and storming towards the door. I stopped only a few feet away and realized that if I left this room, my family would descend on me with the fires of hell, and I would have given Draco the satisfaction that I once again did what he wanted. So, I turned on my heel and huffed angrily over to the window, which I looked out of as I ground my teeth so hard that my jaw was cracking.
I ought to slap him... I should beat him senseless for what he did... And he thinks that he can just make it her fault! I may hate her, but I'm not blind! I mentally raved, barely aware that he was watching me like a curious specimen.
"I never thought you could be so dramatic." He sighed.
I felt something snap at that moment, and I'm not sure what happened, but the next thing I knew, I was standing only inches away from him, a look on my face that could rival an angry werewolf.
"I AM NOT BEING DRAMATIC!" I screamed. As I expected, he stood perfectly still, eyes locked with mine, showing no fear or emotion towards me. Maybe it was because his death eater training had been so extensive, or maybe it was because he really wasn't afraid of me.
"You want to know why I'm so furious with YOU?" I shouted at him, making sure he understood that it was not just my sister I wanted to kill right now. "You all wonder why I act the way I do now?" I growled. "Well, I'll spell it out for you then! You and my family think that if you pretend that there was nothing between us that I'll just forget that it ever happened. Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but I won't forget!" I shouted the last bit, then turned back to the window. I hadn't intended on telling him all of that, but I just couldn't stop myself... as usual. "I'll never forget," I whispered to myself. I could feel those damn tears, which might as well have been acid pooling in my eyes, eating away at my control.
No no no! Don't start crying you damn fool!
Once again, there was silence between us. I waited with whatever patience I had left for him to speak first, determined to let him put himself on the line for once. That and I wanted to see how he was going to react to that little tidbit.
"I don't expect you to forget it, Daphne," He said carefully; apparently he had caught on that he might be walking on thin ice. "But I thought you had enough sense to understand that you can't help who you fall in love with-"
"HAH!" I laughed sharply. I turned to look over my shoulder and saw a very confused Draco staring back at me "You wouldn't know what love is if it was a Hippogriff gnawing at your ankles."
"And you're telling me you do?" he asked, the tone of his voice challenging my reasoning. I was going to snap back immediately, telling him yes I did know what love was because I had been in love with him for years! But I restrained myself, said nothing, and only narrowed my eyes before I turned back to stare out the window. "How can you judge me if you don't know yourself what it is?" His voice was a little cockier this time like he was convinced he would win the fight. However, I would be damned if I let him walk away unscathed.
"Oh, shut up!" I hissed, rolling my eyes to the ceiling as I tried to prevent myself from spilling tears. "Are you telling me that you're really that self-righteous?"
"I didn't say anything that made me sound self-righteous!" Draco shot back indignantly "Daphne, are you drunk? You're not making any sense!"
"Surprisingly, no! I'm not drunk at all!" I sneered at him. "But you would think that since it's you who drove me to drink in the first place!"
Draco looked at me curiously for a moment, as if he hadn't heard me correctly. "I did what?" he asked sourly.
Interestingly enough, I heard a small voice in my head say 'tell him'. Even though I knew that he was now married to my little sister, and that he was 'in love' with her, and that he obviously would never fall for me again, I should still tell him everything.
Here goes nothing... I thought solemnly like I was about to step off a cliff into the English Channel in winter.
"Do you think that the reason I walked out of the ceremony was that I despise Astoria?" I asked quietly, looking at my feet as I spoke now, my hands clenched so tight I thought I might draw blood. "Did you think that I almost drank myself to death for a year just because I felt so outshined and shown up by my younger sister?" I added my tone a little sharper.
For the next point, I lifted my head and looked him dead in the eye. "Did you think I did all of those 'favours' for you at Hogwarts because I was such a good 'friend'? Or because my father worked for yours? Or because I hated Pansy?" I paused for a moment, letting the dramatic pause give him a chill. Then, like really diving into icy water, I felt my lungs take in air, then exhale through my vocal chords, which created sounds that to an English-speaking human would be understood as the ultimate in symbolic meaning.
"I love you," I said as I exhaled, my lungs now failing to breathe in again as my mind shut down in shock. At first, I couldn't believe I had said it, but then I remembered that I wanted to tell him this... I'd wanted to tell him for a very long time... I just felt like it was such a waste now... a waste of valuable air that I could have used to curse him.
There was a painful silence between us, as I had expected. Despite the ridged courage I had mustered for mere seconds, I now felt that I couldn't look him in the eyes. I just stared at my feet again, trying to focus on how scuffed the white heels were after I had run up here. But even as I stared at the pure white leather on my feet, my vision became blurry, and I thought I saw a single tear drop right in the centre of my right shoe. I tried to focus my other senses now; all I could hear was the laughter of some crazy woman outside on the lawn, followed by the chorus of several others. I knew they weren't laughing at me, but it felt like their voices were adding to the mocking in my brain.
I wish he would say something. Anything. I almost wish he would laugh! Even that breaking the silence would be fine! I thought frantically, my mind beginning to panic. I now regretted my rash actions and was silently cursing myself, my nails digging too hard into my hand and my jaw completely locked that I knew I couldn't move. I was completely frozen.
"I'm not sure what to tell you, Daphne," He said after another painstakingly long minute of nothing. I stared at my shoes for a moment, then after wiping my eyes, I looked up with a very weak smile.
"Just please tell me that I wasn't delusional in believing that at one time you felt something for me too," I said so quietly that I barely heard myself say it.
"You weren't delusional, Daphne," He said calmly like he was almost relieved at his own answer. "I've never lied about my feelings for anyone." He reassured. I could almost feel the tears of happiness ready to burst worth from my eyes. Of course, then he had to drop a bomb on my brief happiness. "That's why when I met your sister, I was just so taken by her." He said, his eyes hazed over by the look of young love... a look I must have lived in for about 6 years straight. "I've just never felt so strongly for anyone in my life! I really do love her, Daphne."
"If you knew her, you wouldn't be saying that," I growled through my locked jaw. Now he looked at me in a much more defensive manner. "If you had dealt with her for as long as I have... if you only knew what she's really like, Draco."
"I think I know what my wife is like," He replied gruffly, his expression clearly showing that he was completely taken by the spell known as Astoria's acting.
"You've been married for 2 hours, Draco..." I reminded him "And you've only known her for 2 years. I've known her since the day she was born." I paused and sighed as I gathered my thoughts... which were more or less lies. "And I'm afraid that once you see who she really is, which you will someday, you're going to regret marrying her."
"How can you talk about your sister like this, Daphne? If I had siblings, I would protect them and vouch for them!"
"If you were raised in my family, you would understand why I am the way I am..." I said in a dark tone that came from the back of my throat like I was possessed. I was in a way possessed; my anger and rage towards my sister had been boiling over for months, and to hear someone with no siblings at all tell me how I should be was only adding to the fire.
"You can't blame your family for everything, Daphne," Draco said in that patronizing voice that he always used against me in situations like this.
"Oh yeah? And what makes you the expert on my family?" I challenged, taking a step forward, my eyes so dark that I'm sure I reminded him of the Dark Lord for a split second. "You've experienced them on their best behaviour; do you want to know what they're really like? What the Greengrass family truly is behind closed doors?" His silence told me yes, so I continued. "My father would do anything to please your father, as you well know. So what do you think would please him more than marrying his youngest, prettiest daughter to his benefactor's son?" I pulled from my brain.
It's true that I had seen my family change since Astoria started to date Draco, and I was sure that their motives had changed as well. No doubt there had to be some truth behind the accusations I was making... but I frankly didn't care. So long as they sounded convincing to Draco, then I would swear to anything I said upon pain of death.
"And my mother? She's so obsessed with a social position that she would kill to have her daughter married to a powerful family. And guess whose family falls on that list of suitors?" I told him as well. Once again, this was the truth... but whether these were the true motives or not, I had no idea. "And my sister is an entirely different piece of work on her own. She is the most selfish person I have ever met." I growled more viciously than before. "She will scheme and manipulate anyone and everyone to get what she wants, and she doesn't care about the consequences."
I now took the chance to read Draco's expression. As I expected from being a Death Eater, he had a stone cold expression of reserve... but behind his eyes, I could see the cogs turning in his brain. He was processing what I had said... and I hope it was going to sink in.
"And where does that leave you, Daphne Greengrass?" he asked me suddenly. I hadn't been prepared at all for that question. I was taken aback for a few moments as I tried to think of an answer that would defend my actions, but he didn't wait long. "You're just as scheming as you say Astoria is. I know what you did last night." He said smartly. I looked him in the eyes curiously, and right as I focused harder, I felt a brief wave of images fly past my mind's eye.
Shit... I forgot he could do that. I thought suddenly.
"I know perfectly well that it was you who was projecting all of those memories into my head," He said in a lower voice. "And I also can't forget what you and Blaise planned out together." He added to his defense.
"Blaise and I didn't plan anything!" I lied.
"Blaise works in the same department as me; do you think that I have no methods of spying on him?" he said with a small smirk. I looked at him with a blank stare in an attempt to appear innocent. "I know you were at his house two nights ago. And you spent the night, too. I can only imagine what went on there." He added with a little more dig.
"Everything I have done can be justified!" I snapped. "What would you have done in my place? What part of 'I love you' didn't you understand?! People have killed hundreds of people just for one person!" I raved. I knew that my pathetic attempt to deflect the truth wasn't much, but I was truly angry at his insinuation. "I am NOTHING like my sister!" I shouted in frustration. Draco stared back at me in silence, his face still unshaken and calm, like he knew he was going to get away with this. "And when you figure it out," I said, taking another step forward so I was standing only inches away from him. "You're going to come running back, begging for me to take you back again, and I'll tell you I told you so." I hissed quietly, glaring right into his steel grey eyes.
He still didn't move, determined as ever to hold his ground. We just stared at each other for about a minute, neither one of us willing to give in. And for a very brief moment, I thought I caught the look of longing in his eyes that I had seen so many times before. For a brief, almost fantasy moment, I thought he might kiss me, but I knew it wasn't going to happen.
The noise at the other side of the door caused us to break our eye contact. And as I expected, from beyond the other side came my clearly infuriated sister, the booming wrath of my father, and my screaming banshee of a mother.
"WHAT is SHE doing here!?" Astoria shrieked at Draco.
"He came to find me," I smirked at her, taking pleasure at the sight of her face contorting into more anger.
"I wanted to make sure she was alright," Draco said calmly. Despite his faults, I had to admit he was a good actor.
"Who cares! She just ruined our wedding!" Astoria screamed at me. She was still wearing her wedding dress, which was so tight that I thought she might pop out the top if she stomped her feet too hard. "Father! DO SOMETHING!" she screamed in rage.
"Yes father, give little princess exactly what she wants," I said calmly. For some reason, I had this strange courage that made my mouth go off without thinking. Even as I let those words slip out, I knew the repercussions would be nasty.
"Daphne, this is the last straw for me!" my father boomed at me like the thunders of heaven. "You've embarrassed not only your sister but our entire family AND the Malfoy's! I demand to know what your problem is THIS INSTANT!"
"Do you think I give a shit what people like you think?" I replied in the same smartly calm tone. My father looked at my mother, who looked more like an agitated bird than ever.
"EXCUSE ME!?" my mother's high pitched screech made me cringe for a moment.
"Good Lord woman, can you bring it down a few notches, please? I think they heard you all the way in Berlin." I remarked with a sharp, bitter laugh. "And what I said was 'I don't give a fuck what you think'!" I reiterated for them.
All three of my family members and Draco stared back at me in shock. Mission accomplished as far as I was concerned. Behind my back, I pulled my wand out of from the inside of my dress, just in case.
"I swear to God, I'm going to kill you if you open that smart mouth of yours again!" my father threatened.
"If you don't, then I will! I have no attachment to her whatsoever!" my sister sneered at me like I was Granger.
"None of you do!" I laughed maniacally for a moment. "Admit it! None of you care for me in the slightest!" My eyes fell on Draco now "Well, not all of you." I said with an evil smirk on my face.
"Daphne, I don't think-" Draco started, clearly catching on to what I was about to do.
"Oh shut it, Draco." I brushed his warning off. "Astoria darling, want to know a secret?" I said in a sing-song voice. She narrowed her eyes at me, and it only fuelled my rampage. "Once again, little sister, you're picking up my leftovers. You're reading my old news a day later." I smirked as I stared her dead in the eyes.
"What are you talking about?!" My mother demanded.
"Daphne, don't-" Draco started again, but I cut him off again.
"You see Astoria, just like Blaise, I had him first, and then you've swooped in after to claim him as your own in an attempt to prove something to me," I told her, the grin on my face so wide that I could have been telling her that she was the greatest sister in the world... had it not been for the sadistic emotion behind my eyes and voice. "Oh, but the difference is I've slept with him. Numerous times, too!" I added lightly like it was a casual detail. As I planned, her mouth dropped open in complete horror and she looked at Draco for some sort of explanation. "What do you guess the number would be, Draco?" I asked, pouring salt into their wounds. "It was over about 3 years, so that's a fair amount, isn't it?"
"You little slut!" My father growled at me. I laughed once again and turned my attention to him.
"You call me a slut; I call me ambitious," I smirked. "Afterall, isn't that one way you would justify your daughter's behaviour? If it was going towards furthering the families reputation." I looked at my sister "But to undo the damage she did, I'd have to sleep with the Minister of Magic himself!"
"Your sister is-" My mother started, her face turning to red I thought that she might be sunburnt.
"A huge liar? A harlot?" I interrupted with a sing-song voice. When they looked back at me with shock, I laughed and said: "What, like you didn't know!?" I said in a voice of feigning shock. "Well, she had been sneaking out to meet boys since she was 14?"
"Astoria!" my mother hissed under her breath. My sister looked at her mother with an expression of helplessness and confusion but then turned her missile eyes towards me.
"Aren't you going to tell them I'm lying?" I laughed. She said nothing and just continued to glare at me with an expression that could only be described as pure evil. "Well, I certainly hope that you didn't tell Draco you're a virgin!" I laughed heartily for a moment, glancing over at him for a split second to tell him "Because I don't think she's been one of those for years!"
"THAT'S IT!" my father snapped at last. The volume of the voice made me jump for a moment, but I tried my hardest to remain calm. "I WANT YOU OUT OF MY SIGHT, AND I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" he shouted so loud that I swore the chandelier above our heads shook. "How DARE you talk about your own family like that! And to act so disgracefully! You're as good as a mudblood to me now!"
"Good," I replied flatly. My family looked back at me like I might be insane. "What? It's not like you've ever acted like a family towards me! I was just waiting for you to tell me to leave so that I wouldn't have to worry about you hounding me down every day to make sure I'm being a 'good girl'." I told them smartly. "If anything, I expect this is quite the relief for you."
"It certainly will be now!" My mother spat at me. Her tone was a little sharp to me, but I ignored the pain.
"Glad to hear I could be of some use to you then, mother dearest," I replied flatly. "Oh, by the way; if you hear about that Greengrass girl who's slept with half the ministry, chances are it's me," I added with a smile. "No doubt you'll want everyone to know what the Greengrass name is really about, right?"
"You are no Greengrass!" my father said in such a low, angry voice that I felt the vibration rattle my bones.
"Why, did mother cheat on you?" I replied smartly.
"No, she has morals and standards, unlike you!" he snapped back. "You are not a Greengrass because I say you're not! If anyone asks me if I have another daughter, I'll tell them no! As far as I'm sure, you never existed! All you've ever been is trouble to our family!"
I stared at my father for a few moments, letting the message sink in. In the end, despite how hard I tried all these years, it was all for nothing. He had apparently made up his mind long ago, and it would never matter how hard I worked to prove him wrong; I truly was nothing to him.
"Oh, well then I suggest you revise your parenting manual," I replied lightly, revealing my wand and moving towards the door. My parents, apparently knowing that I was capable of some magic, backed away from me in fear of their lives. But my sister, who was apparently insane with rage, stepped directly in front of me, standing in between me and the door.
"You think I'm going to let you just walk out of here after you've humiliated me at my own wedding!?" she snarled at me. I stared at her for a moment, taking in for what I hoped would be the last time the few similarities between us. Then, with a sign of annoyance, I rolled my eyes.
"Yes," I said flatly, then like lightning, I shoved my sister back so hard that she fell into the door, putting a dent in it with her elbow. My parents, of course, screamed in terror as they watched their precious angel being hit. Astoria, being the typical drama queen, slid onto the floor, cradling her one arm in the other and working up some tears for the show. I was about to possibly step forward and kick her in the face, giving her some real tears, but I felt someone's wand against my throat just as I moved.
I didn't have to turn to see who it was, but I did so anyway, slowly letting him see that I no longer cared what happened to me. With his wand still pointed into my neck and me staring right back at him, I gently reached my hands up to my own neck and unhooked the silver chain that held the Greengrass pendant, letting it drop to the floor. Then, I pulled off the silver bangle with my name on it and tossed it across the room.
"My offer still stands," I told him calmly. "When you're as sick of this family as I am, come and find me."
My parents barked something at me, most likely demanding clarification, but I didn't hear them. All I heard was the loud pop of my apparating out of the room.
I reappeared in my room in the Malfoy manor a split second later. As I steadied myself against the nearby bedpost, I laughed to myself. I imagined the shock they all must have felt when they realized I had removed the enchantments on the house, allowing me to Apparate.
"It's what I do best..." I muttered under my breath to myself. Then, I snapped my fingers, summoning the house-elf Minnie. She appeared in a puff of smoke, wearing the same worn-out gown that she had when I was in school. She curtsied and waited for my command.
"Pack my things," I ordered, my emotions still not under my control. The house elf clapped her hands together and everything I had brought with men went flying into a single bag. "Thank you," I told her, thus dismissing her. Then I apparated down to the drawing room, which I knew had been closed off due to all the gifts being stored in there. Without even looking at the fancy treasures that had been lavished on my sister and Draco, I walked right over to the fireplace, grabbed a handful of ashes, and shouted out my destination.
"Davis' Place!"