Trigger warnings: Death, suicide
"You saw me spinning from the corner of your eye
You saw me spinning like it's 1965"
It's a beautiful day, the city was quieter than usual. 1965 is playing from your phone, sitting on the window. You are washing the dishes, wearing your favorite sweater and jeans. As you notice the song on the radio, you begin to sing along, not realizing Zen has already woken up from his sleep. You had let him sleep in since he was late at rehearsals, and only came home in the early morning.
"You saw me spinning from the corner of your eye
And you touched my neck like your beauty baby child"
Zen yawns, stretching as he slowly walks towards the kitchen of the apartment. He notices the windows open and clean-were you doing spring cleaning? He smiles softly to himself, not surprised at your kindness but no less grateful. He pauses in the living room as he hears you singing. As he realizes what song is playing, his smile widens and he tiptoes in behind you.
"I never had somebody touch me like I'm glass with a moon bird kiss"
He wraps his arms around you, smiling as he kisses your neck, causing you to jump.
"Zen!"
"Could we go back to the world we had?
With a love so sweet it makes me sad
Can we go back to the world we had?
It's the world we've been dreaming of."
You smile as you hear him sing, and you dry your hands on the towel as you turn to him. He holds your arms, and slowly wraps them around his neck. He then places his on your waist, humming along to the music softly. You both sing together, smiling at each other lovingly.
"Cut like diamonds we were made to last
Can we go back to the world we had?
It's the world we've been dreaming of."
You lay your head on his chest, and he smiles as he runs a hand through your hair. His heart feels like it is going to burst with how much he loves you, seeing you so peaceful and...perfect. You hum along as he sings, the spring breeze blowing through the windows into the clean apartment, the kitchen smelling of cinnamon from the rolls baking in the oven, and the clean smelling dish soap.
"You heard me singing like a vision from the past
You heard me singing from a flower petal bath
You heard me singing like a vision from the past
And said from your lips "it's the heaven that we're in"
You shriek in surprise as he picks you up, twirling you around before setting you down again. You both step to the side, and spin slowly before stepping into the living room. The fan circulates the air, causing his hair to fly behind him as you both twirl together slowly and softly. You begin to sing, and he blushes, holding onto you a bit tighter.
"I felt forever when I laid against your chest,
Forever when you said I look my best.
I felt forever when I laid against your chest
In the August light"
You lean up, and peck his lips softly before tugging him into another spin. His eyes stare into yours, appearing so lost, so in love it made you feel nervous. You smile softly, and his heart nearly explodes. His face is red, and he kisses you softly.
"I love you," he whispers against your lips, his own curving into a soft smile to match your own as you rock back and forth.
"Can we go back to the world we had?
With a love so sweet it makes me sad.
Can we go back to the world we had?
It's the world we've been dreaming of."
Gasping, you sit up, staring ahead of you in the dark room illuminated by the television. Normally, dreams like this would bring a smile to your face, but this time you collapse in tears, curling in on yourself. Sobs wrack your entire body as the newscaster talks about the latest tragedies.
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here"]
They already moved o, a few days ago. You checked the time, it was nearly six. You had to get ready.
I don't belong here.
The ride was long and dreary. It was sunny outside, but everything about it seemed...grey. Cars turned to the side for the limousine passing by, noticing the C&R symbol engraved on it. Driver Kim was giving you sympathetic glances the entire ride there. You arrive at the church, and slowly walk in, your black outfit giving away your reason to be there. You're met with the sight of Jaehee, clearly waiting for you. She smiles a watery smile, tears already threatening to fall. You greet her with a stoic expression, unable to smile or even frown.
"Hello, MC. How are you doing?" You both know the question is pointless to ask, everyone knows you haven't left Zen's...your apartment since that day. The day you were told he was hit by a drunk driver while leaving his rehearsal. He had never come home. It was to be a closed casket funeral, since his body was badly mutilated from being run over.
You saw me spinning from the corner of your eye
You saw me spinning like it's 1965
You saw me spinning from the corner of your eye
In the August light…
Another ride, after the ceremony, to the cemetery. Jumin paid for him to go in the nicest plot available, with an angel above his grave. On the ride there, everyone was giving you concerned glances, clearly worrying about your mental state.
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
As the coffin is lowered into the ground, you finally break down into tears. Sobs wrack your body as you collapse on the grass, nearly screaming in agony and longing for him to come back, to just wake up, just come back to me damn it!
Before the dirt is dropped, Jaehee and Yoosung help you up, tears streaming down their faces as well. V stands off to the side with a heartbroken expression, understanding your pain all too well.
"Come on, MC. Let's get you back to your home, so you can calm down." You nod at Jaehee's words, and Jumin walks over to rub your shoulder before conversing with Saeyoung. He glances over at you, and nods rather seriously, much unlike how he normally is. You wonder what is going on between the two.
Later on, at home, you stand in the middle of the living room, sobbing yet again. You wrap your arms around yourself, desperately imagining it's him, cradling you and wiping your tears away. Your voice, broken, cracks as you call out his name.
"Can we go back to the world we had?
With a love so sweet it makes me sad.
Can we go back to the world we had
It's the world I've been dreaming of."
All of a sudden, you stop crying, and stand. Walking slowly, you stumble towards the bedroom, with the balcony open wide. You step out, peering back at the picture of you and Zen together. He's holding you, and you're both smiling widely as you laugh, his gaze focused only on you. You grab the picture, clutching it against your chest as you sit on the railing. Staring up at the camera above you, you notice it's activated again-clearly, that was what Jumin had asked Saeyoung to do. You wave, and peer out over the city. You laugh, a choked sob coming out as well as tears well up in your eyes.
"Can we go back to the world we had?
Cut like diamonds we were made to last
Can we go back to the world we had?
It's the world I've been dreaming of…"
Taking one last look at the camera, you hear the apartment door crash open.
"MC!" You hear Saeyoung scream as he runs through the house. You smile back as he reaches the bedroom.
"Goodbye, Saeyoung. I'll tell Zen you said hello." He screams and runs towards you as you fall, passing out long before you hit the ground.
Glass shattered across the ground, sirens piercing the silence as Saeyoung calls the rest of the RFA, sobbing.
He didn't want to tell them that they had lost two members in two weeks.
Can we go back to the world we had?
It's the world I've been dreaming of.