"Double the pleasure, double the fun… this chapter is double the length of a doublemint gum!" haha I'm sorry I'm being corny... Hi everyone! Happy weekend to you all! This chapter is twice the length of the previous chapters, and has been my favorite to write thus far :D
Just wanna say THANK YOU for reading and/or reviewing (yes, it's necessary to remind you all how eternally grateful I am that you take the time to read this weird/awkward/spunky story o.O)…
Shouts: Alicexangelx, goshNyikes, PandorasTube, mutt009: I REALLY hope you like this one. Thought of ya'll when I wrote it… for Team Ashley! :) B314: I haven't had the pleasure of seeing William Fitzsimmons live, but hope to one day! Love his tunes and glad there's someone else out there who is on the same wavelength about his music… Lonefenix, BrownEyez, SoNFANFOREVER, sparkyleather: I just wanna hug you guys :D Your support means a lot! serna: I'm beyond glad… I'm in awe! Thanks for your support from Spain! lalalalee: I'm doing cartwheels JUST FOR YOU! Letsbefrankimawkward: hearing from you is an event for me! I don't judge… cuz I can relate :D I put a lot of my personal experiences into this story, so I'm glad you totally get it! You rock! …and last but certainly not least, River.R sillyhead! Thank you for beta-ing! You're my numero uno!
ENJOY! :) 5.15.10.
Disclaimer: I don't own South of Nowhere or the characters. Factual places used (Here Lounge and The Abbey) don't belong to me. Lyrics used are from Lady Gaga's "Money Honey" song... which I also (obviously) don't own, but love nonetheless.
I tapped my fingers impatiently. The phone continued to ring. I really didn't know why I'd bothered trying to call.
"Hey, it's Donny. Leave a message." Beep.
"Hey Donny. It's me. Just calling to see if you're still alive." I couldn't help sounding annoyed. "Call me." I hung up the phone and threw it onto the passenger seat next to me. I turned into my complex and slowly parked the car.
It had been three weeks now since I'd talk to or seen Donny. Three weeks since that night with Charles. I've tried calling him numerous times, stopped by his place, and even tried passing by his classes when lecture would end. But, he's managed to avoid me this whole time. I called Sarah and she'd tell me he didn't want to talk to me. We haven't fought like this before.
I sat here contemplating. Sulking over the silent treatment. Agonizing over his unpredictable behavior. Then it occurred to me…
I picked up the phone and hit redial. It went to voicemail again.
"I didn't ask you to do what you did that night!" I sounded a bit hostile. "So, stop acting like this was my fault!" Okay, a lot hostile. "If you give two shits about our friendship, you'd call me back!" I hung up the phone and grabbed my purse, getting out of the car to go inside.
When I locked the front door behind me, I heard rummaging in the kitchen.
"Hello?"
"Oh," I heard the fridge door shut, "hey Spence." I turned the corner and saw Madison, grabbing a spoon and attacking a gallon of vanilla bean ice cream. She glanced over and I noticed her cheeks were red. She'd been crying.
"You're home early." I placed my purse on the countertop, not breaking eye contact. "What happened?"
"Don't wanna talk about it." She retorted, which wasn't a problem because she'd let me figure it out by reading her mind. Apparently, she saw Aiden at the Beverly Center, passing by the M.A.C store where Madison worked. He wasn't alone. He was walking around the place, draping himself all over some skanky brunette. "I couldn't even see the bitch's face." Madison walked past me to sit on the couch, squeezing her gallon of ice cream close. I followed and sat next to her, lending an ear and a shoulder to cry on if need be.
She'd texted Aiden at the time, letting him know that he was such an asshole for throwing such a low blow. He'd responded that he's not obligated to honor her feelings, considering she'd been with Glen right before Aiden ended it.
"I told you to delete his number, Madison! What—"
"I know." She responded, expecting my disappointment. I watched as she chipped at some ice cream, staring blankly at it.
After they broke up, Aiden requested to switch his hours so I couldn't figure out his strategy to make the recovery process utterly painstaking for Madison. If I know Madison and Aiden all that well, I would say they're both hurting and doing what they can to front being over each other when, clearly, they're nowhere near it.
"So," she sniffled, "any luck with Donny?" She knew I'd gone over to his place to talk to him, but it ended up that I had waited at his doorstep for a few hours only to come home empty-handed, so to speak.
"Zero," I sighed.
"Seriously," she put her tub of ice cream on the coffee table. Now that I think of it, we haven't had ice cream in our fridge since we've lived here, which can only mean Madison went out of her way to buy break-up food. "What did you do to get him fired?"
I stopped to contemplate the events of that cold night, and everything that followed from the second Liz drove off…
"So, that's Liz, huh?" Donny asked as I approached him.
"This had better be good." I dismissed his question and took quick strides into the café.
He sighed, "Oh, believe me when I say I'd rather be anywhere else right now."
We spotted Jenna, standing behind the counter in her usual business attire. Her silky red top was screaming bloody murder, which actually made her hair color look a lot more subtle than most days. She snapped her fingers, much like you'd gesture a domestic canine to come over, and signaled us to go upstairs to Charles' office.
"Boy, do I wish I can pop your head off right now, missy. You're so gonna get it."
I glared back at her. What's her problem?
I led the way up the wooden steps and could see the bright office light illuminating ahead.
"Of course." Charles was on the phone, surrounded by short stacks of paperwork on his desk. I heard the squeaking of his swivel chair as he signaled us to have a seat.
Jenna came in behind us and shut the door as Donny moved a box of more paperwork off one of the chairs for me to sit down. Jenna stood next to Charles' desk, looking on inquisitively. I couldn't tell who he was talking to, but she seemed to know.
"Yes sir." He leaned his elbows on the desk and didn't make eye contact. "Yes, I will get to the bottom of this and will keep you updated." He swiveled around to face the telephone base, all too eager to hang up. "Uh-huh. Th-thanks. Bye now." Charles quietly hung up the phone and turned to finally face us.
He tugged down on his forest green Lacoste polo. Charles tanned just a little after a day at the golf course. I could smell the sweat and grass off of his athletic exterior. "Okay, which one of you did it?" He remained quiet for a second, observing us both carefully. It was uncomfortable. Jenna followed suit, crossing her arms and watching us closely, me in particular.
"Hi Charles." Donny blurted. He always tried to break tense situations. "How's it going?"
"I don't know, Donovan. You tell me." Charles ran his fingers over his dark mustache before folding his hands on top of the desk.
Donny clenched the armrests, as he sat in bafflement. "Okay, Spence, a little help here?"
I quickly glanced at Donny before looking at Charles. "We're confused, Charles. Did we do something wrong?" I felt like my voice was as quiet as a mouse's in this seemingly large office.
Things are always exaggerated in the most uncomfortable situations.
I looked up at Jenna. She looked at me wide-eyed. "You're so fired, Spencer." She smiled unsympathetically with such tight lips.
"We have a little problem on our hands." Charles responded. "That was the police, by the way."
"What kind of problem?" Donny furrowed his eyebrows.
And almost immediately, their thoughts had finally hit me. I had to think fast if I was going to save our asses. My mind raced a mile a minute, which sufficiently drowned out Charles' voice as he told Donny the story. Even Jenna could see that I knew something.
"So, yesterday night, the local police stopped by and had asked for access to our surveillance system. In order to properly assess the damages on city property and charge the drunk driver, they need proof, since no witnesses could attest to the accident. I wasn't given any details, but apparently the driver denies hitting that lamppost and is saying that the lamppost had fallen on him."
Unbelievable! The drunken bastard sped out of control and nearly killed Ashley… and, if she were normal, he would've accomplished that feat. I couldn't let him get away with that! It's just… wrong!
But, if I turn the tape in, everyone will see what I saw. And who knows what would happen to Ashley? Maybe I would be doing more harm than good.
Ah, but what does it matter? She's no concern of mine. She left for Portland! No one would care to look for her. And that drunk driver would get what he deserved.
Then again, it wasn't his fault if she did step into his path. After all, it looked like a suicide. I'm pretty sure it was! Gosh, it would be such a burden off my shoulders if everyone knew. And maybe I'd finally know the truth about her. We all would.
I hate knowing something I shouldn't.
"Who has it?" Jenna's voice snapped me out of the great debate going on in my head. "Morning shift changes the tapes. When the police came to review the tape, it was blank."
"Wait," Donny scoffed, "you're saying we stole the tape?" Yes, Donny! Don't be so slow on the uptake!
Charles counted the facts on his fingers. "Number one, no one broke in between the time the accident happened and the moment the first shift started. Number two, you were the only ones here at the time the café opened right after the accident." His voice became more stern and aggressive, "and number three, the Tuesday tape was already switched in and running since the time of your shift." He leaned forward. "I like to consider myself a fairly reasonable person and I like to give my employees the benefit of the doubt, but I do not appreciate liars. Who.. took.. the tape?"
Silence prevailed. I felt hot chills run throughout my body. Think, think, think! Why couldn't I come up with something?
"One of you better fess up now and give me that tape, or you're both fired." Charles asserted with such resolute.
I debated whether screaming at the unfairness of the situation would buy me more time to think, but Charles pretty much had all his ducks in a row. It was futile at this point.
I decided to confess.
"You're not getting that tape." Donny blurted before the words could form at my mouth. What the hell is he doing?
"Donny!" Jenna was just as shocked as I was.
"So you took it?" It came out more as a statement than a question, the way Charles put it.
"I took it." Donny reaffirmed. "But like I said, you're not going to get it." Charles glared at him, angered by his rebelliousness and disrespect. "I destroyed it."
"Why?"
Donny shrugged. "There's nothing on it. It caught some car speeding through the intersection, but there was no accident caught on tape. So, even if I turned it in, it'd be useless."
"Why'd you take it in the first place?"
Donny managed to create some elaborate story, which is what I wanted to do in his place. If only my brain functioned a second faster.
"I heard about the accident and thought I could sell it to the media."
"A drunk driver loses control, crashes, and lands himself in the hospital… and all you've got on your mind is 'how can I make money off of his losses?' Good to know where your moral compass is pointing and where your priorities lie." Charles leaned back into his chair. He quickly glanced at me to see if I knew anything, but I sat there in awe at what just happened. I felt so scared for Donny.
Jenna remained flabbergasted.
I was about to defend his honor when Donny's thoughts advised me to remain silent. He knew I took the tape. He just didn't know why. But that didn't stop him from protecting me.
"You can see yourselves out now." Jenna calmly broke the silence. We stood, dragging ourselves out in what felt like a physical brawl from that mental beating.
"One more thing," Charles' voice bellowed as we paused to look back, "Donovan, you're fired."
I blinked hard, trying to shake the memory out of my head, but it was no use.
I'd kept Madison in the dark about the tape. The less people that know, the better.
I responded to her question, "Nothing." That's all I did – nothing. And 'nothing' is what got him fired. I didn't step up when it was my fall to take.
"I saw Sarah on campus the other day." She said as she nibbled on her ice cream. I looked at Madison inquisitively, though I could tell she knew nothing. "Whatever this big fight is between you and Donny, you both are pretty loyal to secrecy." I guess, from Donny's perspective, there's nothing to tell if he doesn't know why I did what I did… not that it matters anyway.
"Things are so messed up." I spoke my mind.
She turned to face me. "I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk."
"You and Aiden. Me and Donny." I sighed as I sat cross-legged on the couch to get more comfortable. "The fab five is breaking up, and for some reason, I feel at fault."
"I can't explain whatever's going on with you two, but you can't blame yourself for the catastrophe that was me and Aiden. He's a man-whore. If anything, it's my fault for ever thinking he was different… or could be different."
"Well, you're not necessarily the poster child of loyal girlfriends either, Mad."
She scoffed as she slammed her tub onto the coffee table. "Way to kick me when I'm down, Spence!"
"I'm sorry!" I raised my voice, which made it sound more assertive than apologetic. "But you need to figure out what you want already! You and Aiden had this rollercoaster of a relationship, dragging every person you found useful to sabotage each other for the tumultuous ride." For a second, I contemplated where the hell my choice of words was coming from, and how much I sounded like a parent than a friend. But, I didn't care. She needed to hear it for what it was. "And Glen shows up and you pounce on him like the newest product on M.A.C shelves—"
"Hey!" She huffed. "I resent that!"
"I'm just saying," I finally lowered the volume of my voice, "you two need to figure out what you want, whether it's each other or not, and go with that. Stop flip-flopping. You're a young adult and you need to do what's best for you, with or without him." I nodded in assertion, partly proud of myself for knowing so much without having the years of relationship experience to really back me up.
"Regardless of what I want," she stood abruptly, grabbing the ice cream tub on her way to the kitchen, "it's over." Her thoughts were begging me to comfort her. But I didn't want to feed her that pity. She needed to get over this… the hard way. It's the only way she could feel pain, learn from it, make up her mind, and essentially move on. I couldn't make her mind up for her.
In the meantime, I'll try to make the break up process less painful for her…
"What've you got planned tonight?" I hollered over my shoulder.
"Nothing. Why?" I heard her wash her spoon in the sink. She wanted more than anything to curl up in her bed and shut the world out, doing nothing but watching Audrey Hepburn flicks.
"It's Friday." My tone became more jovial. "Let's get out of the house and do something we haven't done in a while."
"Like what?" Madison sounded disinterested. I know the feeling. When you're fresh into a break-up, you don't want to do anything but sulk.
"We can watch 'I Love You, Man.' I know how much you've been wanting to see it."
"I don't know…" She really was disinterested.
"C'mon! It'll be fun!"
"When you give me k-kisses, that's money, honey! When I'm your lover and your mistress, that's money, honey!"
Madison's phone blared from the coffee table. She made a bee-line for her phone. I quickly grabbed it, noticing it was a 503 area code number.
"When you touch me, it's so delicious, that's money, honey! Baby, when you tear me to pieces, that's money, honey!"
"Give it!" She held her hand out.
"Just making sure it's not you-know-who." I handed her the phone as she rolled her eyes.
"Hello?" She answered and turned to take the call in her room, "Hey! How are you?" That's as cheery as I've ever heard her in the past few weeks, but I know it's all a façade.
I got up, grabbed a frozen chimichanga from the freezer and popped it into the microwave. I set the time for a minute, noticing it was a little after nine in the evening. While I waited, I shuffled through some of the junk mail on the countertop. Ooh! Domino's 555 deal! Definitely keeping that ad.
I look up and see Madison quickly stride across the living room to grab the makeup out of her purse on the dining table. She had something different in mind and I raised a brow. She was already exhibiting something other than sulky angst.
"So, what'd you decide?" I stared at her in observation. "Movie date with me?" She almost seemed normal again.
"Oh," she rummaged through her purse and grabbed her eyeliner, "that was someone from my Sociology class." The microwave beeped as Madison ran off into the hallway.
"Hmm, yes," I turned and carefully took my chimi out of the microwave, "you seem to do quite a bit of socializing in Sociology."
Madison dismissed my comment, "Anyways, she wanted to know if I wanted to go out with her and her friend to this bar in West Hollywood." Her voice echoed from her bedroom.
"Oh, it's a she!" I mocked. "Remember that talk we had about figuring out what you want?"
"Uh-huh, are you done?"
I giggled, carefully nibbling on my chimi.
"Well, when you're done eating, get ready. Tell Liz to come, too."
"Huh?" I ran into the hallway, wide-eyed and chuckling at the idea, "I'm not going, Mad."
"Do not get cheese on the carpet, Spence!" She screamed at me as she changed into a fancy black tank with gold sequined straps. I turned back and made my way to the dining table.
"Why do I have to go?" I whined loudly towards the hallway. "And West Hollywood? Really? Since when do you like hanging out in queer town?" I had to ask a million questions, now that we weren't in the same room.
"I'm just going out to loosen up a bit." Her voice sounded. "I thought you were looking after my best interest, Spence."
"Actually, this would be the perfect way to turn a nympho like you celibate." I snickered before taking another bite of my chimi. "Where in WeHo are you going anyway?" I mumbled with my mouth partially full.
"Some place called Here Lounge." Hmm…
"Funny, how you never wanted to go when I'd invited you all those times. Why now?"
"So, go with me now." She spoke slowly and I could tell she was putting on her make-up. "You think Liz will want to come?"
"No, she's with her friends tonight. I told her I was gonna stay in with you."
"Then, don't be a loner on a Friday night. Come with us!"
If this were months ago, I wouldn't even hesitate to go to Here Lounge. Hot bartenders, body shots, public lap dances, sexy ladies, and stiff drinks. It was definitely my favorite place to go crazy or mellow out (or both) on a Friday night. But, I haven't been around WeHo since Melinda and I were over. As strange as it seems, she was kinda my only connection to the queer nightlife. So, for me, WeHo has Melinda written all over it.
"I dunno," I winced as I looked at what I was wearing. "I look like shit." I picked a crumb off the collar of my hoodie.
On top of that, things were going really well with Liz. I'm getting comfortable taking things slow with her. And I'm not really looking to play the field. So, there's really no reason for me to go drool over all those hotties.
"Come on. I need you to be there for me."
"Why? So I can hold your hair for you?" I bickered.
"You damn right!" She played into my snide remark. "So, get ready. They're gonna pick me up any minute now."
Instantaneously, I heard a knock on the door as I took the last bite of my chimichanga. I got up and threw my trash away, quickly swiping at any crumbs that may have fallen on my bib of a chest.
Damn crumbs. I brushed a couple off my lap as I opened the door.
When I looked up, I could literally feel the blood rush away from my face as I stood there with that whole deer-in-headlights look.
"Spencer." Ashley seemed just as surprised to see me, yet not as speechless. She took a quick step back and glanced at the numbers next to the doorframe. "You," she glanced around behind me, "live with Madison?"
"Uh, I… um…" I furrowed my eyebrows, having the utmost difficult time formulating any cohesive thoughts or articulate words. "What… uh…"
"You okay there?" She raised a brow, allowing a somewhat amused smirk to curl at the corner of her mouth. "You didn't ice that bump, did you?" Tsk tsk.
I squinted and crinkled my nose at her. Very funny.
"You, uh… have a little cheese on your lip there." She pointed and I immediately wiped at my mouth.
"W-when did you get back?" My words rushed out.
"Back?" She furrowed.
"Hey Ashley!" Madison squeezed her way around me.
"Hey, there you are!" She switched to an amiable grin.
"This is Spencer, by the way." I stepped aside, still dumbfounded.
"Yeah, we met before actually." Ashley tugged down at her navy cardigan.
"Really? Where?" Madison inquired. Ashley nodded as I managed to lift my glances from my feet to Ashley's eyes. My eyes grew wide, anticipating what she might say. We've had a lot of run-ins, none of which sustain as memorable… or positive.
"Spencer makes a mean cup of coffee at the café." She nodded knowingly, looking between both Madison and myself. "And we have class together."
"Philosophy." I blurted.
"Oh, are you a double major or something?" Madison asked.
"I'm actually undecided." That's strange. She's taking upper division classes and is still undecided?
"Really?" I questioned as she nodded. "What year are you?"
Madison turned to me, "Why don't you get ready so we can go?" She annunciated her words like she was my mother or something.
I growled at the idea. But, I turned without word and went to my room to get ready. Why? For one, as one of Madison's closest friends, I felt the need to watch her back, especially since it doesn't appear she knows Ashley as well as she should. Secondly, it'd be kinda fun to see how Madison would handle herself in WeHo.
"Come on in, Ashley." Madison waved her in.
"Thanks." The awkward brunette (yes, that's how I will always know her as) welcomed herself in and curiously looked at the décor of our little abode. "Nice apartment you have." Don't get too comfy! "Just you two here?"
I went into my bathroom to wash my face. I made sure not to blast the faucet water so I can properly eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Yeah, Spence and I go way back."
"Grew up together?"
"High school." Madison paused. "I also dated her brother."
"Awkward." Ashley snickered. "Was this way before Aiden?" Wait, she knows about Aiden?
"Definitely before… and a little bit during." I could practically hear Madison roll her eyes. "It's complicated."
"I wouldn't judge." Of course you wouldn't. You dated Yvette! "Honestly, I think relationships are pretentious and have become this meaningless, invisible barrier that forces human beings into this unnecessary feel of ownership and obligation. We're always trying to figure out what satisfies and pleases our significant others, when we ourselves don't even know what the hell it is we want."
"Couldn't have said it better myself." Well, there goes my whole 'figure out what you want' speech, falling out of Madison's head.
"I mean, c'mon," she scoffed, "you're young! You're not supposed to know what you want right now, much less figure someone else out. You're supposed to have fun while you're still barrier-free!" Spoken like a true whore.
"You make a great point, Ash." Really Madison? You're going to let someone as cold-hearted and shallow as Ashley brainwash you? Ugh!
I abruptly wiped my face and marched across the hallway to my room. I have a duty to protect Madison from Ashley's antics! Whatever she says tonight, I must counter. I grabbed my red shirt dress out of the closet and slipped out of the t-shirt I had on before draping it over my body, rolling the short sleeves, and buttoning them just below the edge of my shoulders.
"Can I use your bathroom real quick?"
"Sure, go ahead and use mine through the master bedroom. Spencer's bathroom door is broken." I heard footsteps shuffle across the carpet. "I wouldn't want you to get locked in."
I buttoned my shirt dress and saw movement in the hallway. The split second I looked up, I saw Ashley glance at me. I cautiously watched her glide past my door. When I heard the faint sound of Madison's bathroom door shutting, I marched out into the living room where Madison began to sulk, thinking about what Aiden was doing with that girl tonight.
"Ready?" She looked up and saw my somewhat concerned expression. "What?"
"How long have you known Ashley?" I made a point to keep my voice down.
"Well, we have class together, but we've been hanging out this past week since we were put into the same group for our class project." She crossed her arms and collapsed onto the couch, sighing at my prolonged tardiness.
"A week?" I raised a brow. "And she already knows about Aiden and your whole life story?"
"So?" She shrugged. "What's the problem, Spence?" Madison slightly raised her voice, thinking I was being unreasonably paranoid.
"I don't know. I get a bad vibe off of her."
"Do you even talk to her when you see her in class?" I noticed her getting a bit more defensive. "She's a cool person."
"Just be careful, Mad. Don't be so trusting."
"Relax! She's mellow, okay?"
"Uh-huh." I turned to grab my black leggings and flats out of the closet in my room. Ashley came out of Madison's room and I briefly looked at her with suspicion. She, however, glanced at me with this innocent, jovial smirk as we passed each other in the hallway.
I continued to eavesdrop as I got ready.
"Please excuse Spencer taking her sweet ass time." Madison mumbled to the awkward brunette. "Is your friend waiting in the car?"
"No rush." She responded so casually. "My friend's actually going to meet us at the bar. She went ahead to get us a table."
When we were ready to leave, Ashley showed us to her Prius. Strange, since I could only picture her driving a gaudy car that fit a more youthful, contemporary taste… you know? Like a Kompressor or… a Mustang. I sat in the backseat and zoned in and out of their conversation. It's strange how well the two of them get along… and so soon. I hope she's not trying to turn Madison… like that's possible. Ha!
I texted Liz to let her know where we were going, hoping she'd be able to stop by and save me from the debauchery. She said she'd try to come by. She was with Anthony, Sebastian and Kader at the Poetry Lounge. It's hookah night.
"Did you call Liz?" Madison turned in the passenger seat to look at me.
"I just texted her. She said she'd try to stop by."
"Whose Liz?" Ashley glanced at me from her rearview mirror.
"My girlfriend."
"Oh."
I looked away and out the window at the posh shops on the street corners as we drove up the narrow street of Robertson Boulevard. It was silent, aside from the very low hum of the car whisking across the pavement.
Ashley pulled off to the left to valet the car. The street was packed with cars and there was absolutely no parking. We quickly stepped out as I grabbed my coat and clutch, and we ran across the slender street to the lounge. Everyone seemed to either be in this ridiculously long line to the left of the lounge, or packed like sardines at The Abbey next door.
Friday night is girls night at the lounge, but I did not feel like standing in this long line all night. They had the shades pulled down over the bars above the wall so no one could see through. It's a good tactic to lure people in and see what all the fun fuss was about. You could just hear people chattering on the patio on the other side of this wall we stood by. Disco lights beamed through the slits in the shades. The DJ was blasting LMFAO's La La La.
Ashley went into the VIP line and waved down the door girl, a slender, dark-skinned girl with subtle eye make-up and a carefully groomed faux hawk. She conversed for a brief moment before Madison and I followed. The girl unhooked the velvet rope and guided us inside.
We went through the black gate into the patio, where girls were chatting, smoking, and drinking in the dimly lit, somewhat posh outdoor lounge. Trees subtly decorated in white lighting hovered over. We entered a large doorway to the left where the main bar and dance floor were. It was crowded and almost difficult to hear the music, considering a bunch of thoughts were flooding my head. Everyone's thoughts were all focused in on the moment – checking out hotties, using a lot of tongue in make out sessions, fantasies, wanting to do one of the luscious bartenders, self-conscious wallflowers, drunken nonsense, bi-curious and looking to experiment, wanting to find true love, or just plain looking to get laid. Places like this make me want to drink to drown out all the nonsense.
We squeezed through the dance floor to walk up a few steps to the right where all the tables were. Each table was candlelit and separated with dark red curtains. There was a raunchy birthday party going on at the tables across the way. We walked to one of the tables on the right, where I noticed an ice bucket, glasses, three pitchers of soda, orange juice, and cranberry juice, a bottle of Ciroq and a bottle of Jack Daniel's Whiskey. I looked up and saw a tall, slender girl put her glass down before standing and hugging Ashley. She was wearing a black buttoned up dress shirt over a slightly-hinted white wifebeater. Her studded belt hung low over her hips and black Dickies slacks.
"This is Madison and Spencer." Ashley raised her voice over the music.
She stuck her hand out, "Hi, I'm Jton." She smiled behind her dark boyish hair, her hair cut extremely short in the back with loose strands hanging over her forehead and eyes. It reminded me of Keira Knightley in that movie, Domino. We shook hands as I smiled back. Her friendliness was quite contagious. "Come on in." She waved me and Madison over. We shimmied our way over the cushioned bench.
"How much do we owe you for the table?" Madison called across to Jton as Ashley began pouring drinks for us.
"Oh," Jton scrunched her face, "don't worry about it! I'm really cool with the manager. So, I practically get it for free."
"Can I at least buy you a drink or something, just to payback your kindness?" Madison really didn't know how to slow her roll. I could read Jton's mind. I smiled to myself in amusement.
"How about you dance with me later instead?" She flung her arm over the pillowed backrest and sipped her Jack on ice.
"Oh! Uh—"
"Down girl!" Ashley slapped Jton on the knee. "Madison's strictly dickly." She handed Madison and I two glasses of vodka cran. Hmm, how'd she know my favorite drink?
"For now." Jton grinned as Ashley rolled her eyes and Madison shared in nervous laughter. I sat content with my drink, entertained with watching this whole scene unfold before me. "How about you, Spence? What are you?"
"What do you mean?"
"You straight, gay, bi, bi-curious?" She leaned forward. I took no offense to her assertion. She just wanted to know, in all honesty.
"I'm gay." I sipped my drink.
"What kinda gay?"
I laughed, "Just… gay." I shrugged. "Normal gay girl." I quirked my eyebrow, "Why? Is there a different kind?"
"There's…" she looked up in contemplation and began counting on her fingers, "femme, lipstick lesbian, liquid lesbian, chapstick lesbian, butch, stone butch, soft butch…"
"Wow, I wasn't aware of the variations."
"Dude, she's gay." Ashley interrupted. "Isn't that enough of a label?" She smirked.
Jton shrugged.
"So, how do you two know each other?" I pointed at Ashley sitting to Madison's right and Jton across from me.
"I met Ash at the Normandie Room, a nice little dive bar down the street from here. I was shooting pool and had a little problem with the competition. This big butch, Kyle. She thought I cheated. We had quite a bit of money riding on that game. A grand. Long story short, big bar fight broke out and Ash was there to back me up." She held her glass up to Ash, who mimicked her move before they both drank from their glasses. Jton exhaled the stiffness of that drink. "That was.. what.. two years ago, Ash?"
"I reckon." She nodded. "It's been a good two years." I sensed a tinge of sadness in Ashley's tone. She masked it by finishing her glass of Ciroq. No ice. No chaser.
"And you gals know Ash from UCLA?"
"Yeah." Madison chimed in.
"Ash is so smart." Jton feigned maternal pride. She squeezed Ashley's cheeks, causing me to elicit a hearty giggle. "My lil girl's all grown up now." Ashley smacked her hand away and almost slapped Jton upside the head. "Watch the hair!"
"You graduating this year, Ashley?" My question forced Ashley to stop acting so candid… and fun.
"Uh," she brushed down her cardigan, "no, not yet."
"Oh, next year then?" I watched her carefully, still trying to figure this girl out.
"Next year, the year after, or the year after that… it doesn't matter." Jton interrupted. "Just as long as she's getting her education." She nudged Ashley's shoulder. They looked at one another, sharing that Colgate smile. It was kinda nice to witness that sincere friendship they have, which is much more to what I've witnessed from angered professors, slutty whores, and potheads. I'm a bit surprised to see that Ashley was capable of… having a heart. "So, Yvette's been looking for you." She said more so to Ashley, but I couldn't help but lean in to eavesdrop.
"Ugh! Girl can't take a hint." Ashley turned to pour herself another glass as Jton sat closer to talk in her ear.
"Be nice. Talk to her. Let her down gently." I couldn't hear their conversation over the music, but could read Jton's mind.
Ashley turned to her and said something inaudible.
"Stage five clinger." Jton responded as Ashley nodded.
"Spence, let's go dance." Madison nudged as she poured a little more cranberry juice into her drink. Ashley made it pretty stiff. I glanced at the other two and then stood up.
"Sure, let's go."
I led the way down to the dance floor and we managed to find a small space by the bar. We danced with each other as I could hear thoughts all around us – people eye-fucking us or other people across the room. I downed my drink, trying really hard to listen to the lyrics of Beyonce's Single Ladies.
I glanced at the wall behind Madison. The wall. It was some unspoken rule that anyone whose back comes in contact with that wall was going to be molested in some way, shape or form. It's the wall people make out against… or grind on each other against… or cop a feel against. Oddly enough, there was no other wall that had that power. Just that wall… directly left of the main bar.
I twirled Madison as the music changed to Lady GaGa's Just Dance. Madison's face turned into sheer excitement. She totally had her 'oh!' face on and it looked like she'd been bitten by the dance bug. She started to get all into the music, handing me her drink so she had full function of her hands tangling themselves in her hair. She caused quite the crowd, making mouths water and heads spin. I had my hand around her waist just to ward some of the girls away.
"This is my jam!" Madison's thoughts repeated over and over again.
I smiled at her, not just because I could see her finally having a good time, but because she was completely oblivious to how she's just a piece of meat dangling in front of a hungry pack of wolves.
"I love this song!" Jton squeezed her way into our space. She handed Madison another glass of vodka cran.
"Uh," she smiled nervously, "help, Spence?" She looked in my direction.
"You're okay." I mouthed to her and gave her the 'OK' sign. I knew Jton thought she was cute, but she definitely didn't wanna try to get Madison to 'change teams.' Something tells me she'd dealt with enough of those in her past.
I turned and saw Ashley right behind us, bobbing her head as she leaned up against the bar and sipped her drink. She looked complacent… and so full of herself… as we both noticed a trashy looking number strutting her overly confident, inebriated self directly in front of Ashley. She pulled her jet black locks behind her ear, under this fake, white hibiscus pinned to the side of her head. Her name's Leilani, which she whispered into the awkward brunette's ear. I two-stepped with drink in hand, watching closely as Ashley looked the girl up and down, grinning at what she saw. I'm sure she was admiring how that little black dress hugged Leilani's curves to the point where her tits were just a breath away from oozing out. It was this sly 'come hither' smile that drew her into Ashley.
Okay, I'm ready to get outta here already.
All of a sudden, I felt small hands run up my hips and the sides of my body. I turned to find this bite-sized brunette with long, brown curls and heavy make-up with vivid, red lips that matched the hint of my shirt dress.
"Now, that I know you're not with her." She glared at Madison before pursing her lips at me like a girl with swagger. She briefly glanced at her hands dancing across my body before closing the distance between us to speak into my ear, "Hi there."
I smiled in friendliness, continuing to keep my hands to myself, "Hi." I took a few steps back as she ran her hands over her body, down to her thighs, and up in the air, shaking her ass and licking her lips at me. She apparently mistook me backing up as some form of playing hard to get. She stepped closer to grind herself into me, glaring up at me with a sultry grin. I was caught off guard and looked up to see if someone would save me. Unfortunately, Madison was having a blast downing drink after drink and letting Jton twirl and grind her like Jton's personal toy thing. And Ashley's back was turned as she leaned over the bar, sipping her drink and letting Leilani practically hump her hip and slip her fingers under her cardigan.
Shit. This is exactly why I didn't wanna come tonight.
The short brunette pulled me to her, stretching to speak into my ear again. "What's your name?"
"Spencer," I smiled with tight lips. "What's yours?" I bent a little to yell over the music and into her ear.
"Roxanne." Ah, what a fitting name!
I backed up again, seeing as how her hands found their way up to the buttons of my shirt. I don't know how it happened, but she managed to unbutton my top two buttons. She, again, thought I was being shy and compensated for it by being extra aggressive. Roxanne turned and bent over before running her ass up the length of my legs to my pelvis. I stumbled back again from the force of her booty. But this time, I found myself against the wall. I looked to both sides and, of course, couples were either making out, grinding, copping a feel on one another, or some combination of the three.
Okay, don't panic. How do I get out of this?
She peeled me off the wall and switched places with me, pulling me close to sandwich her against the wall. I stumbled again and inadvertently rubbed my knee up her pelvis in my attempt to get some footing. She exhaled sharply and bit her lip, looking at me with such want.
"I-I have a girlfriend." I blurted, not knowing any other way to be gentle because let's face it – she didn't want me to be.
"Bring her over." She licked her lips again.
Okay, now I'm fucked.
I backed up, but not before Roxanne reached out and pulled my collar down, exposing my black-laced bra. I looked at her with such shock, and yet, she thought I was enjoying myself. I struggled to quickly cover up and button my top.
I suddenly felt a pair of hands grab my waist from behind. Oh, this is just great! Roxanne wore this smoldering look across her face, thinking whoever was behind me was my supposed girlfriend. I felt myself being guided backwards away from the wall and into a warm body. Roxanne looked like a hungry lioness, charging forward and on the verge of pouncing on me, when I felt the person behind me swing around and face me.
"You sure move fast on the first date." Ashley yelled over the music, briefly glancing down at me buttoning my top. She's one to talk!
Roxanne continued to dance, trying to shimmy around Ashley. But, Ashley did a good job of keeping herself between us. She wrapped her arms around my waist and I found myself in her proximity.
"I wasn't cheating." I mumbled into her curls as I gripped her shoulders and allowed us to sway to Ne-Yo's Miss Independent.
"I know." She laughed. "The panic on your face was priceless though."
"Well, I'm glad I've amused you. Now my purpose in life is complete." I responded sarcastically.
She backed away to smile at me, her hands still around my waist. "Wanna go back to the table?"
"Sure."
Ashley placed her hand on the small of my back and guided me across the dance floor, past the moving bodies, and up the short steps.
"Where's Leilani?" I asked as we sat down next to each other.
"How'd you know her name?" She poured herself a drink of whiskey on the rocks.
"Wild guess." I shrugged.
"I'm not buying that." She smirked.
"How'd you manage to pry yourself from her death grip? I thought she's your type anyway."
"How do you know what my type is?"
"You like 'em throwing themselves at you."
"Whatever." She shook her head at me. "You drunk?"
"Hmm," I put my empty glass down and let her pour me another drink, "I'm buzzing a bit." She, on the other hand, looked sober as a nun. "So, you being invincible doesn't allow you to enjoy a good buzz, does it?"
"Something like that."
"Or get a good high."
"Something like that." She handed me my drink before wrinkling her eyebrows. "Wait, since when did I come off as a pothead?"
I sipped my drink and lazily leaned up against the cushioned backrest. The alcohol was definitely affecting my desire to filter whatever I might say. "That kid from Weihmeier's class… Aaron."
"What about Aaron?" She turned to face me.
"He said you were a pothead." I brought my arm over the backrest and held my head up in the palm of my hand. "But you never got high."
She quietly sipped her drink and I craved, more than ever, to know what she was thinking.
"Why'd you go to Portland?"
She looked at me again. "How'd you know about that?"
"Yvette." Yeah, I was definitely beginning to speak without restraint.
"How do you know Yvette?"
"Why do I have to answer all of your questions?" I looked at her with relaxed eyes. She leaned back to meet my gaze. It was almost difficult to ignore her intoxicating scent.
She sighed, "Portland's my haven. I go there when I feel… threatened."
"Threatened?" I sat up. "By whom?"
She looked me in the eyes. "By you."
"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "What'd I ever do to you?"
"You saw me." She looked at me with such fear, uncertainty… and vulnerability.
"Ash," I subconsciously rested my hand on her sleeved forearm, "I wasn't gonna tell anyone." I said softly.
"So, why are you stalking me then? Why are you trying to figure me out?"
"I just wanna know why I can't re—" And my filter finally kicked in. I shook my head, "I-I'm not stalking you."
"You a friend of Yvette's then?"
"No!" I scoffed and was slightly offended that she would associate me with that clown. "I ran into her, right after you shamelessly dumped her via text message… and she hit on me!" I was, again, offended at the memory of it all. "Really Ash? You had the nerve to dump her via text?"
She shot up in her seat. "We were never together, alright?" And I'm glad she had such restraint because it looked like she was literally going to pull her hair out. "Seriously, did she put you up to this?"
"No!" I rolled my eyes. "But, maybe you need to think twice before you just use people for sex, ya know?"
"What?"
"People have feelings. And it's obvious you don't know how to grasp that." I sipped my drink again.
"Wow," she lowered her voice, "you really don't know me at all."
"I guess not." I downed the rest of my drink.
"Hey guys!" Jton barged in with Madison draped over her shoulder. Jton was out of breath, struggling to keep Madison upright. "We gotta go. We're getting kicked out."
"Why?" Ashley stood up to help brace Madison. I followed suit as the bouncer came by, waving his flashlight at us.
"I bought Madison a body shot off one of the bartenders and she totally upchucked on her."
"Ohh… shit." I shook my head as Ashley bellowed in laughter. Really not the time!
"Ladies, you need to leave now." The bouncer guided us to the nearest exit. Madison passed out like dead weight. So, Ashley scooped her up in her arms as I carried Madison's coat and clutch. Jton sat her up in the back of Ashley's car while I rode shotgun.
I remained quiet as Jton filled us in on Madison's fun-filled queer night. For the most part, I was pleased that she was looking out for my roommate's best interest. She was definitely up for showing Madison a good time, without pushing herself onto a newly single, straight girl. Jton was pleased to make a new friend, especially the GaGa-loving dancer type that Madison is.
Five minutes later, we were dropping Jton off at her apartment down Santa Monica Boulevard. She grabbed some water bottles from her garage, where I noticed a silver Ducati at rest. Jton was kind enough to try and sober Madison up so she wouldn't have such a terrible hangover the next day. She also handed us some plastic bags for the road.
Before we left, I hopped into the backseat and made sure to keep Madison sitting upright, just in case she vomited. I didn't want her to choke on herself. Plus, sitting shotgun with the awkward brunette would not be conducive, especially if we happened to slip into our heated discussion about how much Ashley's a whore. I would so win that discussion anyway.
The ride home was quiet, with the exception of Madison's periodic groans. She smacked her lips a few times, and I readily gave her some water so she wouldn't be dehydrated. Ashley kept her eyes on the road, never glancing at the rearview mirror.
When we got to our apartment complex, Ashley lifted Madison with such ease and carried her into her bedroom. I placed Madison's belongings on her dresser before removing her shoes. Ashley stood aside with her hands in her pocket as I sat on the bed next to Madison.
"Mad, have some water." I sat her up and made her drink. She groaned with her eyes closed, signaling that she didn't want anymore. "I don't want you to have a hangover tomorrow." Madison continued to refuse. "Alright, I'll leave it on the nightstand for you." I got up. "Don't say I didn't warn you about the hangover." I went into her bathroom and grabbed her trash basket. I placed it in front of her nightstand before I turned towards the door.
Ashley walked over to where Madison was curled up. "Thanks for coming out, Madison." She snickered. "No pun intended." I rolled my eyes. "But, I hope we showed you a good time."
Madison's eyes opened briefly as she exhaled her smile. "Maybe you lesbians have the right idea," she slurred before readjusting herself and curling up tighter.
"Maybe," the awkward brunette laughed. "We sure have more fun. That's for sure!"
"Especially when you're single," my roommate continued to slur. "'Cause… relationships are sssstupid!"
"Yeah, who needs relationships when you already feel like a million bucks on your own?" Ashley grinned. "Sleep tight! I'll call you in the morning."
"Okay." Madison whispered. Ashley turned and walked passed me with this smug look on her face that I was ready to slap. I shut the door behind me.
"Don't encourage her." I growled… as quietly as possible.
"Encourage her to what?" Ashley turned to face me once we were in the living room. "Don't encourage her to be herself? Don't encourage her to have fun? Let loose? Enjoy life?"
"She needs to figure out what her priorities are and make decisions for herself. She doesn't need a bad influence like you." I crossed my arms.
"You know what your problem is, Spence? You need to loosen up and get the proverbial stick outta your ass. Live a little!"
"Oh," I raised my eyebrows, "this is coming from a person of such compassion and feeling, who doesn't just use people to 'let loose?'" I used air quotes. "Do you even have a heart in that ice cold cavity of yours?"
"And where the hell did you get the idea that I use people for sex?"
"Yvette. Need I say more?"
"What about her?" She shook her head, not understanding the logic of it all.
"I saw her throw herself at you at The Pit."
"And?"
"Please," I scoffed, "you mean to tell me you didn't have your way with her, dump her on her ass via text, and look to take someone else home tonight?"
She pointed at me, "You need to get your facts straight. I never slept with Yvette. She was going through a hard time, trying to get over her drug addiction. I was there for her… as a friend. She wanted more out of me, but I told her that I was only capable of being her friend." Ashley sat on the armrest of the couch. "She still took it the wrong way and thought we were together. I told her so many times, but she won't listen. So, I had to be mean to her for her own good."
"Oh," is all I could respond with.
"And as far as Leilani is concerned, yeah, she was gorgeous! I found her attractive." Ashley shrugged. "So, sue me!"
"Ah, yes… you like that sort of shallow type."
"If I did, then would I be here trying to explain myself to the likes of you?" Ashley smirked. "Of course not! I'd probably be 'having my way with her.'" She mocked my air quotes.
"Ha!" I scoffed at the overly confident brunette.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm no saint, Spencer." She smiled. "I could have anyone I want, trust me."
"Oh please." I crossed my arms.
She smirked at me so smugly. "Could've had you, too, if I wanted to."
I rolled my eyes. "Ashley, you are so full of shit!" I scolded her, but she just stood there, haughtily laughing in my face. Oh, she was getting a good kick out of it alright! "Ugh! Don't flatter yourself!" I was nauseous and my blood was practically boiling.
"You don't remember our conversation at the Dubliner, do you?"
"What conversation?" I stupidly asked, namely because I didn't know what she was talking about.
Ashley's eyes grew wide before she chuckled again, "Wow, you must've been trashed then! I knew I smelled tequila on your breath. You sure tasted like it."
I winced at the thought of that drunken night. "Forget I asked." I turned to let her out, but she stopped me.
"I came over to say hi and I sat next to you as we seemed to talk and laugh about everything and anything. You sure are fun when you live a little! I also thanked you for your generosity in making me a late-night cup of hodge-podge, which was amazing, by the way. And then you lured me in with this cute little devious smile of yours, begging to purr in my ear."
"Ugh," I rolled my eyes.
"You lazily wrapped your arms around me and told me," Ashley leaned in to whisper in my ear, "'that's not the only thing I'm talented at.'"
I swallowed hard, and I didn't know if it was because I couldn't fathom the idea of me being so forward… or if it was the way Ashley said it to me.
"So?" I breathed out.
"And so, you showed me… with your lips." She responded in such a low alluring tone. "And then you asked me if we could go back to my place." Ashley slowly inhaled as she stepped back to look me in the eyes.
"But we didn't." I said so matter-of-factly before clearing my throat.
"No, we didn't." She shook her head with a half smile.
"Because you felt sick?" I asserted, instead of questioned.
"I don't know what I felt. It was… different." She shook her head. "But do you see what I'm saying? You threw yourself at me. And I didn't sleep with you."
"Whatever!" It was all I could counter with as I stepped back to gain a little more distance from the awkward brunette. "I was drunk. I didn't know what I was doing."
"My point is… I don't use people the way you think I do. Just wanted to set the record straight."
"Fine." I shrugged. I felt very uncomfortable, probably because we both knew I had no substantial argument at this point.
"Well," she looked at the clock on the microwave, "it's getting late and I better go so you can sleep." I turned to see that it was 12:55 AM.
As uncomfortable as I was, I wish she didn't have to leave. I still had so many burning questions… especially about the tape and about her as a person. What would've happened if we did sleep together? Why did she feel sick? Was she telling me she was repulsed by me?
I opened the door as she walked onto the front step.
She turned, "So, I'll see you around or something… in class maybe."
"Yeah," I nodded.
"I had a good time tonight." She smiled, and for some reason, it made me feel reassured. I'm not sure about what.
"Me too." I genuinely smiled back. "Thanks for helping me keep Madison from sulking another night."
"Anytime," Ashley nodded before turning to walk away. "Goodnight."
"G'night."
I stood there and watched her walk away as I noticed it was a crisp, clear night. The cold air was surprisingly soothing. So, I let the door shut behind me and sat on the front step, briefly admiring the hovering moon. I contemplated tonight's events and grew increasingly frustrated with asking myself the same question:
Why can't I read Ashley's mind?
I looked down the dark path and crossed my arms over my knees, realizing that she was gone. She was physically nowhere near at this point, yet I was drowning in whatever she'd left behind. I felt like she'd prodded me with some hot iron rod. There was some weird burning sensation within, and I was stuck with these serious thoughts. She totally ninja'd me.
What is she doing to me?
I lay my head on my forearms and closed my eyes.
For a second, I could hear footsteps quickly approaching. I smiled, thinking that maybe the awkward brunette felt as I felt… that she had some questions needing to be answered.
Soon, those footsteps had drawn near to where I sat. And then I felt slightly disappointed.
"Hey!" She almost seemed out of breath, but sighed in what sounded like relief. "God, I've missed you!"
I looked up, "Hey!" I stood up and let her arms wrap around me, taking refuge in her warmth.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the lounge." She kissed my cheek before resting her chin on my shoulder. "Anthony had an amazing performance tonight! It was definitely something… different!"
"Don't worry." I pulled back and smiled at Liz. "You didn't miss out on anything tonight."
"I'm always missing out when I'm missing you." I brushed her black bangs aside and kissed her fully, softly and slowly nibbling on her lower lip. I knew she could taste the alcohol on my breath, and I could taste the vanilla hookah on hers. "Ahh… where have these lips been my whole life?"
I subtly pulled back the second my Ashley-filled thoughts began to creep into my head. Now she's become my own personal cockblock!
I grabbed Liz's hands, watching our fingers intertwine. She couldn't help but gawk at my lips, wanting more. "Let's go inside. I wanna hear about your night." I smiled.
"Okay." Her voice was barely audible. She let me lead the way.
I turned and squeezed her hand firmly, hoping she'd take away this burning feeling… whatever it was.