How many times have you tried to pull one over on me?
Always mess with me and try to get the best of me
Lookin' back, all the pain that you put me through
Why would I fall for a fool like you?
Now you're talkin' like I've never played the game before
Save your empty words 'cause I don't wanna hear no more
Basically you're trying to take control of me
But you're not what I wanna be
Pansy had always known Draco Malfoy, for as long as she could remember.
She'd loved him for about that long, as well.
When, at the tender, innocent age of five, she'd told her father that she loved Draco, and that she was going to marry him and give him 'lots o' kisses, Papa; like you give mummy alla time!' – her father had done all in his power to ensure his little angel's happiness.
Lucius and Narcissa had been suitably pleased and approving upon the match, and a loose contract had been drawn up. Pansy would forever be grateful that it wasn't a soul-binding one.
Because, somehow, they hadn't factored Draco's spoiled nature into the equation.
But, after all, who can really know how a five year old child would turn out in a decade?
No one; and that was where Pansy's fairy tale crumbled to dust.
I know everything about you
Yesterday has come and gone
I'd be better off without you
No lookin' back, I'm moving on
Looking back, now, Pansy would liken her life to the story of the ugly duckling.
When she'd first started Hogwarts, she had been bombarded with names such as 'pug-face' and 'bulldog' and 'sour-faced shrew'. But Pansy had merely suffered from the affliction that all Parkingson's suffered. Namely, that they would be plain and unassuming and sometimes even ugly in their years of adolescence; only to grow into their element and beauty when they came into their Inheritance at sixteen.
Papa had always told her that it was a good thing; that it ensured that she would gain true friends that way, ones that didn't befriend her only because of her looks. After all, Mum and he had been together before his Inheritance, because she saw him; and now there's was the best marriage that Pans had ever seen – even better than the Malfoys or even, crazy as it sounds, the Weasleys.
But for Pans, she'd always viewed it as a curse; because it tore the thing that she'd most wanted in the world.
She hadn't realized that it wasn't what she'd needed; and that her Papa was right all along.
Never steal the song of my lips
I'll never bow down to give you a kiss, no
You'll never steal my innocence
You've been dismissed
Do your best to try to pull me down
I'm never goin' back even if I see you around, no
No, I'm never goin' down like this
You've been dismissed
From the very beginning, regardless that they'd been together since they were in nappies, Draco ignored her.
When she was belittled or scorned or insulted, he just stood off to the side and stared the other way. It wasn't until she'd caught sight of the look in his eye in suit of armor one time, as he turned away, that she realized that he agreed with their words – he just didn't want to be the one to say them.
But worse, by far, was when he did begin joining in. Sneering at her and scorning her behind the closed doors of Slytherin. Sure, out in the corridors they presented a united front – because Slytherins must always stick together – but inside, she was breaking.
She would try to remind him of their contract, that she was to be his wife; but the words and poison that he'd screamed at her had tore her apart, and she'd fled from the pain.
And Draco's cruel laugh rang through the corridor behind her.
It was all she could hear, over and over, ringing and overlapping with the horrible words he'd spoken to her. She escaped to the one place that she was sure that she'd be safe; the one place where she could be assured solitude and privacy to properly fall apart at the seams.
But she was mistaken.
When she arrived in the back corner of the Library – in a room that was hidden cleverly behind a rotating bookshelf – it wasn't until she'd shut the shelf behind her that she realized that she wasn't alone.
And every day since she had thanked Merlin for that blessing.
It was Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott who had discovered her sanctuary, and stared at her with shocked and startled eyes; books open on their laps and still-dripping quills indicating the studying that had been interrupted.
She had turned to flee, not wanting to show weakness to these two Slytherins – to anybody – but before she could Blaise had leapt to his feet and grabbed her arm, caring not for the inkwell he'd upset in the process and was now ruining his Potions essay.
He had refused to let her leave, sitting her down onto some pillows that Theo had conjured on the floor and gently encouraging her to tell them what was wrong. Between Blaise's humorous, kind teasing and prodding and Theo's gentle, soothing, patient presence; Pansy had finally broken down and unloaded her heart upon their able shoulders.
And they had never let it go.
From then on that had become their place, their hideout, sanctuary, clubhouse. Whenever Pansy or the students would say something particularly horrible or degrading, they would all come here by mutual, unspoken agreement as she cried and they comforted her; all away from the judgment and scorn of prying eyes. Blaise and Theo would soothe her and assure her that Draco was just having a bad week, that he really didn't mean it, that he would apologize soon and/or see the errors of his ways.
Neither Blaise nor Theo believed that for a second. But if Pansy left their sessions a little happier, a little lighter, then they weren't going to change a thing. It didn't matter if they knew that their false faith in Draco was misplaced, or if they knew that he'd eventually do something irreparable and break her heart. They helped her heal, helped her survive; and they would still be there when that time finally came.
Because they existed for Pansy. For her smile that revealed gap front teeth; her laugh that was loud and unrestrained guffaws mixed with the occasional unashamed snort; and her sparkling cornflower blue eyes that showed the emotions she wasn't able to hide behind her Slytherin mask.
Because they loved her. And they knew, even if she didn't yet, that she loved them back.
But it wasn't just a one-sided relationship. Like all Slytherins, Blaise and Theo had suffered in their own way. And, just like they did with her, she would drag them to the Sanctuary and comfort them.
It was during one of these times that they first started falling in love with her.
When Theo would be taunted about his Ravenclaw-ish tendencies, always having his nose stuck in a book and never attending Quidditch games; Pansy would owl-order a new Shakespeare novel and gift it to him with a new bookmark or a fancy or weird Muggle hat (one of Theo's secret, guilty pleasures).
And when Blaise was ostracized for his pranking tendencies and denied the Seeker position, even though he was better, because his Mam couldn't afford to buy all new brooms like Mr. Malfoy did; Pansy would drag him from his dorm room in the middle of the night and spell a half-dozen snitches to be glow-in-the-dark before racing him to see who could catch the most (he always one, but she never seemed to be bothered).
She would secretly bake cookies with the house elves and bless them with the heavenly culinary delights whenever the mood struck her. She smuggled a few Muggle games – like Monopoly and Risk and Twister – and thoroughly trounced them every time.
She twirled a strand of ebony-black hair around her finger when she was studying; bit and sucked on the end of a quill or her nails when she was nervous; and stroked her chin like some evil overlord whenever she was plotting or scheming.
They knew more about her than Draco ever had. They didn't see her pug-face or slightly high-pitched voice or crooked teeth.
They saw Pansy.
Now they just had to wait for Pansy to see them.
Let me break it down one more time
No, you're never gonna change my mind
That was then this is now things are different
No, you're not what I'm livin' for
It was fifth year, one year before Pansy would finally come into her Inheritance and become beautiful. And then Draco would see her and love her and care for her. After all, it was well known that Malfoys only had the best, the most beautiful. That was the only reason that he was being mean now; he just was waiting for what he deserved. And Pansy only had to wait one more year before she could give it to him.
She didn't notice her two best friends' increasingly saddened expressions when they heard her fantasizing, and even if she had she wouldn't have understood.
Draco suddenly burst into the room as though he owned it, declaring that they would join him to go to the Black Lake – as though he owned them as well. But Pansy just squealed and jumped up, grabbing an Agatha Christie novel and pinning up her hair. Blaise and Theo just sighed before nodding and getting up as well.
No matter how much this was making her happy, they weren't going to leave their little Flower alone with the malicious, cruel, petty Malfoy Heir.
But Pansy knew nothing of her friends' dark thoughts and ruminations. Draco had invited her – and others too; but still, her! – to go to the Black Lake. Maybe he was turning around, maybe today would be different, would change everything.
She had no idea how right she was to be.
Almost as soon as they'd left the Common Room Draco started going on and on about the latest scandal; throwing in the occasional cruel comment that would cause her heart to ache and Blaise and Theo to growl.
Things like 'That Brown girl used to dress as plainly and dull as you Parkingson, but now she's been going into full-out whore-mode' and 'I can't believe she hooked up with the Weasel; but I guess her options aren't too numerous when she's almost as ugly as you are, Pansy' and the worst 'people who believe in fairy-tale fantasies are delusional and pathetic. Girls like that are no more than brain-less air-heads that are good for nothing more than a quick fuck'.
Pansy's breath had hitched and she'd stared at Draco in horror just as the self-same Gryffindor barreled around the corner only to freeze at the sight of them.
Pansy hardly heard what Draco said through the blood roaring and rushing in her ears. But, given the identical tears filling those brown eyes that were also spilling from hers; she had a pretty good idea.
Malfoy had just broken two hearts in the span of three minutes. And even if he had realized, Pansy suddenly saw, with startling clarity, that he wouldn't care.
Just like he didn't care when she ran after Lavender; as it was only the voices of Theo and Blaise that echoed after her.
But, for the first time, Pansy couldn't go to their Sanctuary and talk about it. Because there were no more empty assurances and words of promise anymore. She didn't need pity, she needed understanding. True, honest-to-Merlin understanding.
And she knew of the one place that she would find it.
I know everything about you
It's funny how the tables turn
I'll be better off without you
Now you're the one who's gettin' burned!
Never steal, never steal, never steal
In the weeks and months that Pansy spent with Lavender following the 'Revelation', as they called it, were some of the most freeing and relieving months that Pansy could remember in a long, long time.
Somehow, helping Lavender gain her independence and help herself was remarkably cathartic. Somehow, helping her best friend heal and grow more and more courageous and free caused some of those own emotions to grow in herself. Pansy found herself feeling more and more like a Gryffindor, and couldn't find it in herself to regret that fact.
They remained fast friends throughout the rest of the school year, and promised to keep up correspondence during the summer. Pansy swore to tell Lavender the minute that she went through her Inheritance. And with one final embrace, they departed ways.
And now Pansy was lying in her bed, thinking that midnight couldn't come fast enough, waiting for the moment that she turned sixteen. As she waited, she thought over her time with Lavender and, surprisingly, realized that something seemed missing. There was this ever-present hollow ache in her chest whenever she reminisced over the latter half of fifth year.
Suddenly, she realized what it was. She had hardly seen Blaise and Theo the whole time. She realized that she hadn't visited their Sanctuary at all, and that she'd practically abandoned them following the Revelation.
But, what shocked her the most, was the sharp stab of pain and guilt that struck her when she realized this. But why would she feel like that? Yeah, she probably should have talked to them more, but they were boys and they could entertain themselves without her for a spell, right?
And Merlin, why did that thought hurt more than anything else?
She abruptly decided to do everything in her power to make it up to them. She never even contemplated trying to integrate Lavender into the group or introduce her to their Sanctuary. That was their place, for only them; and somehow the thought of bringing in Lav – no matter how much she loved her – brought a sour taste to her mouth.
No, she needed to do something just for them. Maybe bake them cookies and buy Theo a new book. Get some pranking items for Blaise or offer to do his homework for a month (she wouldn't tell Theo; he'd bust a vein, the studious rule-abiding sod). She resolved to make everything right, to do anything and everything possible to prove to them that she still loved them. And that- wait… WHAT?
The thought – the realization – hit her just as the spine-splitting, core-deep pain of her Inheritance tore through her body.
And, as she succumbed to unconsciousness and fell limp, one burning, shining truth pulsed deep within her heart and mind.
Blaise and Theo loved her. And she finally, finally realized that she loved them too.
Never steal the song of my lips
I'll never bow down to give you a kiss, no
You'll never steal my innocence
You've been dismissed
Do your best to try to pull me down
I'm never goin' like it if I see you around, no
No, I'm never going down like this
You've been dismissed
Pansy smiled as she walked through the Great Hall and moved towards the Slytherin table. She found a place between Blaise and Theo and quickly sat down.
She slipped down the hood of her cloak and turned to Theo, ignoring the choking of the person across from them, and smiled. "Hey love, you was your summer?"
Theo didn't respond, as he currently didn't possess the capability. He was positively struck dumb by the beauty in front of him.
Her long ebony hair was slightly curly, flowing across her shoulders and down her back in long, silky tresses. Her skin was a flawless caramel without a single blemish, while her lips were full and a natural soft pink. Her nose was straight and elegant, and her cheeks were colored with a light red flush. Her eyes were sparkling, clear cornflower blue, framed by thick, long eyelashes.
Wait… sparkle? Cornflower blue? "… Pansy…?" Theo whispered hoarsely, and the person across the table started choking even more.
"Yeah." Pansy whispered, her love's awed gaze causing a bashful, pleased flush to spill into her cheeks. "I came into my Inheritance over my birthday. I'll tell you all about it later. Maybe in our place?"
The tight knot in Pansy's chest – the one that had worried that they would reject her after her abandonment during last year – loosened when Blaise, who finally regained the ability to speak, blurted, "YES!" And caused her to burst out in all-too-familiar, totally Pansy-esque laughter.
After her merriment had ended she returned her attention to her loves, totally ignorant of the awed gazes of nearly every male in the hall. She blushed even brighter as she prepared to put herself out there, to take the risk for the people whom she loved and knew loved her in return. Suddenly, she realized that it really wasn't so much of a risk. "And… maybe later we can go to Honeydukes? And, I found this new tea-place that's not all pink and garish like Puddyfoot's, and I thought – hoped – that, I dunno… maybe we could…"
Theo and Blaise smiled brightly, knowing what she was really asking and thrilled – ecstatic – that she'd finally seen. And now she was all theirs, and they were never letting go. They each took one of Pansy's delicate, long-fingered hands in one of theirs and waited patiently, tenderly, until she tapered off.
"Love?" Theo whispered, voice shaky in a way that showed that he'd feared this day would never come. "We would love nothing more."
Blaise nodded, too overcome to speak.
"WHAT?" A voice yelped from across the table, and Pansy turned in shock to meet the furious grey eyes of Draco Malfoy. She had only a moment of pride and vindictive pleasure as the realized that, One, she hadn't even noticed that Draco was there, and therefore was moving on. Before, she used to watch his every move. Now, he just seemed to… unimportant. Also, Two, that he had been the one choking shamelessly as he caught sight of her.
But it faded into cold, hard fury as the Malfoy Heir stood, towering over her as though to intimidate her. He whispered in an icy voice that caused several weaker first- and second-years to shiver in fright. She was not cowed, and she was not amused.
"You most certainly. Will. Not. You are my betrothed, my intended; and I will not have you being an unfaithful bint." Pansy saw red, but cooly forced it down as she met Malfoy's shocked gaze with clue eyes filled with icy fire.
She stood up and adopted a sneering, dismissive mask before leaning close to him and drawling; loud enough for all those around to hear, "I'm afraid that you are mistaken on that front, Little Dragon. You see, my father was very, ah, familiar with the repercussions of the Parkingson Curse. After a particularly nasty situation a couple hundred years back, no Parkingson has ever had a binding magical marriage contract. Sure, loose ones have been drawn up, sort of a 'first-choice' thing, but nothing permanent or binding.
"And, since the final decision rested with the Parkingson Heir, I have decided that you are not worthy. So I am not your betrothed, not your intended. As a matter of fact, I am no longer anything to you except Ms. Parkingson.
"And don't bother complaining or ranting. Frankly, everyone's rather sick of you and the way you hang on your father's coattails. Nobody will listen. Well, maybe your latest bint of the month. Who is it this time, Abbott? Patil? Both?"
And with that parting shot she flicked her hair over her shoulder, turned her back on Malfoy's red, slack-jawed face, and left the Great Hall; grinning at the sound of applause that followed her out.
On a falling star you got to where you are
And you think you've got the right to own my heart
But my affection doesn't lie in your direction
You want to hold me with a lock and key
Cover my eyes so i cannot see
But in the end we all know who wins
You are over, over, over
Never steal, never steal, never steal
Now Pansy and her two, perfect loves walked down the street at Hogsmeade, not saying a word and yet utterly content.
Pansy had her fairy tale Prince(s), Draco was now reaping the consequences of what he had sown, and she was completely, utterly happy.
And, when she spied Lavender giving her a thumbs up through the Weasley's joke shop window, with her two new loves by her side; she just grinned and raised an eyebrow.
Oh yes, Pansy was one very, very happy Slythindor. Life was completely, utterly perfect.
And she wouldn't have it any other way.
You'll never steal the song of my lips
I'll never bow down to give you a kiss, no
You'll never steal my innocence
You've been dismissed
Do your best to try to pull me down
I'm never going back even if I see you around, no
No, I'm never going down like this
You've been dismissed
A/N: I hope that you all enjoyed this! I know that I certainly did. Please review and let me know if you want me to continue! There's about three-four more chapters that I have planned. Ta ta!
A/N2: The song is "Dismissed" by Zoegirl.