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ALL RIGHTS GO TO CHARLAINE HARRIS!

Chapter seventeen

Sookie's POV

"Sookie ! Sookie, please open the door. You need to hear me out, we need to talk" Eric tries to reach out to me through the door. I can't believe he even thinks he can work his way out of this! He said down there that he was close to cheating on me and the only reason he didn't was because the phone rang. Thanks, Eric, you make me feel so good inside knowing that you would willingly cheat on me. But I don't want to talk to him about this; he's lost his chance now. And, God, I have tried to make this difficult relationship work; but he's pushed me too far. How can he make this up to me? I'm just sat here, leaning against the door with my legs pulled up against my chest as I cry; the door is locked so Eric can't get in. Well, he technically could if he wanted to, but he respects my need to be alone and to have privacy.

Pfft, who am I kidding? Of course he doesn't!

"Sookie, if you do not answer me or open this door I will break it down!" Eric roars like the big bad wolf he is.

"Go on then, Eric, break this door down. You'll only kill me in the process, but that would probably be an advantage to you; that way I'm out of the way so that you and your stupid dancer lover can be together" I scream straight back at him before jumping up and heading towards the bathroom attached to the room. I hope Ammy doesn't mind me taking sanctuary in her room. When I get into the bathroom I lock the door, knowing straight away that Eric is going to break down the door because he's heard me move away from it.

Almost right on cue I hear a loud smashing sound before a huge bang on the floor. He's definitely inside. But I can't help but worry that he's going to disturb the twins, I can only imagine what they must think is going on. I hope Eric hasn't woken them. I don't want them getting involved in this.

"Please, please, Sookie. I am begging you to open the door and talk to me" at least he's lowered his level of voice. I shake my head as I go into Ammy's cabinet above her sink, hoping to find some pain killers that will help soothe my pounding head. But what I do find, I definitely wasn't expecting. Contraceptive pills. She's on the pill? When did this happen? And why didn't she tell me? Is she having sex with Alec? Or is she just contemplating it and just wants to be ready for when she does start having sex with him? Oh, God. I need to talk to her about this, but I can't while I'm in this situation.

Right, it's time I faced the Devil himself.

"Eric, if I come out of here, you must promise me that you will sit on that bed and won't come anywhere near me while we talk. Promise me" I force him, knowing very well that he can hear me through the door.

"I promise, now please come out, Lover. I just want to tell you the full truth, I know you cannot ever forgive me, but I at least want you to hear me out" he responds earnestly. I take a deep breath before releasing it as I open the door to find Eric sat on the bed patiently, his elbows are on his thighs as his hands dangle between his legs. This stress cannot be good for our baby. Without thinking I lay my hand on my stomach, rubbing my thumb over the spot gently, almost as if to soothe our baby, before dropping my hand back to my side. I didn't miss the longing look in Eric's eyes, or how he watched my stomach with such hope.

"Eric, you cheated on me" I accuse, his head snapping up rather aggressively as he glares at me.

"I did not cheat on you" he corrects me.

"You might as well have!" I shout before telling myself to calm down, I need to think about my baby; I can't risk getting too stressed, especially seeing as stress is one of the main factors that can cause miscarriages. I don't want to lose our baby.

"Sookie, I don't know what happened. I don't know why or how it happened, but I just couldn't resist her. I hadn't fed, and I had barely fed the day before because of our last fight. I hate it when we fight; it really takes its toll on me. Pam says I am like one of those 'Emo's', although how I resemble a red fury annoying child's toy, I will never know…" Eric grumbles as he shakes his head. I could help but laugh at that.

"An Emo is someone who is emotionally unstable; Emo's are those people who like to dress in black rather than colours. Whereas the little red fury annoying child's toy you are referring to is called an Elmo, as in from Sesame Street. Ring any bells?" I query as I sit down on the chair in front of Ammy's desk. Dammit, we are going off topic.

"Anyway, you were going to explain all of this to me" I point out, quickly amending my topic change. I can't believe that almost happened, I could easily see Eric's disappointment that I caught onto my mistake.

"I was interviewing her, to see whether she would be suitable to be one of Fangtasia's dancers. Our old one, Yvette, is far too old now. The patrons do not find her attractive anymore, so we wanted a new dancer. Anyway, during the dance she decided to dance to something very sexy, she moved gracefully and sexily, she caught my attention immediately. I am ashamed to admit that I actually allowed her to straddle me; she wasn't wearing any panties. She was soaking my jeans, and my cock was finding the whole thing magnificent. Then she kissed me as she rocked against me, I pulled off her top where I fondled her breasts. I was close to fucking and feeding from her, but the phone began to ring. The same phone that brought me out of my lusty haze and out of my insanity. Sookie, I did not mean for it to happen. I was just hungry, I'm sure I was. Although I do have a theory that she may have been a wit-"

"Eric, I couldn't give a toss about your stupid theories! All I know is that you, my bonded, my Lover, my fiancé, the father of my children and unborn child, almost cheated on me. In fact, you practically did. You kissed and dry humped another woman as you fondled her breasts. You tell me how that isn't cheating. I'm your pregnant fiancé, and you cheat on me? Almost have sex with another woman. How do you expect me to forgive that?" I demand as a few tears begin to slide down my cheeks. Look at me now, my stupid hormones are raging now.

"I don't expect you to; I have done wrong, Sookie. I know I have, and I accept that; I don't expect you to just let me off as if nothing happened. I have wronged you, Sookie, I have disgraced your very name. I do not deserve forgiveness, I do not deserve love; but if there is any chance I can have either, I will take it and cherish it" oh, he is not getting off that easily.

"Why her though, Eric? Were you horny? Why didn't you just come to me? In the last three months, Eric, we have made love five times including after that date we had together the other day. Five times, Eric. Your phone gets more action than I do, heck, strange dancers you don't even know get more action from you then I do. How do you think that makes me feel, Eric? You barely acknowledge me anymore; in fact, you have barely told me that you love me in these last few months. Sure, you were down in Arkansas, but right at the beginning when you first went down there; you used to tell me all the time, almost every day, that you loved me. You would tell me on the phone, and again when you finally got to see me and the kids for a few days. But as the weeks went on, that got less and less frequent. How do you think that makes me feel?" I demand as I start to sob, reaching over to grab a tissue from Ammy's tissue box.

"Sookie, I… Sookie, I don't know what to say. I didn't mean to neglect you so much, I guess I have been rather distant lately; but I did not mean to make you feel like this. I do love you, Sookie. Very much so, I cannot imagine my life without you. It hurts to know that I have hurt you so much; I did not mean to do this, Sookie. Why did you not just tell me that you felt neglected?" Eric murmurs as he looks in my eyes, his eyes holding so much regret.

"Do you know how humiliating that is? Do you know how it feels to know that if I want my fiancé to make love to me or to tell me that he loves me, I have to ask him. I shouldn't have to tell you. You should just do it on your own accord!" I shout at him, how can he be so stupid?

"Sookie, you know that I am still getting used to feelings and relationships. I am bound to make mistakes every now and then"

"Eric, you have had over nine years to get used to these feelings and relationships. You shouldn't be making these types of mistakes; in fact, you have made more mistakes than I can count. Do I even mean anything to you, Eric?" I sigh, realising that I am just some useless woman to him.

"You mean the world to me, and I promise to prove that to you every single day of our lives together. I will show you how much I love you, I will always tell you, I will take care of you; I just need you to stay with me. I love you, please, forgive me for everything. For almost cheating on you, for neglecting you, for using that fucking stupid excuse about me not being used to emotions and relationships when I know full well I am. For every single thing I have ever done wrong to you" he's being so sincere, I can see it in his eyes.

I can feel through our bond that he loves me very much; I can feel that he feels guilty and I can also feel his regret. He even has bloody tears running down his cheeks, as he stares at me hopefully. Should I forgive him?

"You have one week to prove to me that you love me, that you care about me. To woo me and show me the man I fell in love with. And while this takes place, I will be staying in the spare room next door to the twins' room, the one we're going to change into a nursery for our baby. You have one week, Eric, to make me fall in love with you all over again, because I love you more than anything, Eric, but I feel like our love has been tampered with. I feel like we need a new start, not just as Lovers, but as a family" and with that I get up from where I was perch and head out of the room. I better check on the twins and then phone Ammy to make sure she is okay. Plus, I need to talk to her about these pills in her bathroom. But all I can think about now, is whether Eric is actually going to take on my challenge. I will forgive him eventually, but until then, I need him to show me that he loves me. That I'm not just some prop in his life.