Happy Thanksgiving week to all those in the states! Hopefully my extra two days off (yes I have classes WED=stupid) will give me time to write, but after that I'll be gearing up for finals! UGH. But then comes winter break which will be amazing!

Thanks to davis baker, arubagirl0926, wordsmeaneverything, constructive criticism (fyi none of my reviews come from me, and obv season 9 will be better, im writing this for my own enjoyment and I'm 19, not a pro writer), ace5492, stagediva23, isabel camilla scott, and stephieboo for reviewing.

This is a Baker Family story. I sometimes include other characters, but don't expect if often. But it just so happens that I planned to add some more people you know and love because of the context of the chapter. The timeline I came up with months ago, with reviewers suggestions, dictates my chapters pretty much.

And if it wasn't clear from previous chapters, Avery is always just under FOUR years younger (she was born the end of September and the boys turned four the beginning of November) than the twins. So in this chapter she is five. Next chapter she'll be just over 5 years and a half years old, etc.

And just a btw... I legitimately cried writing this chapter during parts. This hits close to home for me and I'm sure a lot of other people.
It's emotional but I hope you still enjoy!

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AGE 9

Brooke pulled her car into the driveway early this breezy November afternoon and took a deep breath. It was still early but she had had to go pick up her dry cleaning early since she didn't have time to last night.

When she walked into the house, this usually choatic Friday morning was quiet. Too quiet for her liking.

"Hi Mommy."

Avery was sitting at the kitchen counter by herself. She had started kindergarten very recently but she wasn't going to school today.

And no, it wasn't a holiday. Or the weekend.

"Good morning baby. Did you sleep okay?"

Avery nodded. "Can I have breakfast?"

Brooke stopped for a second but then shook her head clear.

"Of course, let me get you some cereal."

Brooke stuck with a simple fix. Julian made the elaborate breakfasts in this house.

Handing her daughter the bowl of Cheerios and a cup of milk, she smiled sweetly.

"When you're done eating, Mommy will help you put on your dress, okay?"

"Okay.."

Brooke then went to find her biggest boy.

;

In the master bedroom, she found Julian sitting on the side of the bed, dressed in his funeral black pants and white shirt.

"Hey babe... I have your suit jacket right here. I made sure they got the pleats right, okay?"

Julian didn't really respond to her presence right away so she walked towards him.

"All those years I wasted hating him," he muttered.

"Julian..." Brooke frowned.

"No it's true. We wasted so much time."

Brooke shook her head.

"But you two had been so much closer since you made Alex's movie together. You were in a good place."

"I should've told him I loved him."

Brooke felt a tear pool in the corner of her eye. She climbed onto the bed behind him and wrapped her arms around to the front of his chest. She kissed the side of his neck.

"Last week when he dropped off the boys after they went to the MLB game, that was it.. I should've told him I loved him. HELL! I should have gone to the game with them. All those years he ragged on me about sports and being manly, I should've just taken it, I should have just done wat he wanted, but no, instead I tried to distance myself from him. I shamed him by changing my last name!"

Yes. Paul Norris had passed away. And today was his funeral.

He had passed away suddenly from a heart attack. No one saw it coming. He was alone at his house when it happened. He couldn't get to a phone. He couldn't call for help. When his golf buddy came to pick him up for their bi-weekly game that afternoon, he didn't find his friend alive.

"Julian stop. Don't do this to yourself," Brooke insisted. She knew this was what he was thinking all along, but he had only now said it out loud.

Julian turned in a crying panic. His face was red and desperate for answers.

"I just don't know what else to do, Brooke. What do I do? What do I do?"

His face bruied itself in Brooke's shoulder. She tried to soothe him by rubbing his back.

"What do I tell the kids?" Julian mumbled. "How do I make this okay for them when I can't make it okay for myself?"

Brooke knew there was only one thing he could do. So she cupped his face and made sure he heard it.

"You show them how to say goodbye."

;

The mother knocked slightly on the already-open bedroom door.

"Can I get you guys something to eat before you get all dressed?"

Davis turned to Brooke while he put on his black shoes. "We're not hungry today, Mom."

Brooke nodded. "I know... but you need to eat something. Can I help you boys with your ties?"

She walked towards Jude but he turned away from her more.

"Hey... look at me."

Jude did reluctantly and Brooke put her hands on his shoulders.

"Everything's going to be okay."

"How do you know?" Davis asked from the side.

"Because we're going to help each other get through it. Even Dad."

Brooke crouched down and pulled at Jude's shirt. He had buttoned it up crooked so she rebuttoned it for him.

"But he was our only Grandpa, Mom," Jude said quietly. The only Grandpa they knew anyways.

Brooke kept looking down, thinking about how she hated that her own father had a negative effect on her kids.

"I know, sweetie. And I'm sorry for that."

(In my fic, Brooke's father never reaches out to her, even if he does in Season 9)

Just then Avery scampered into the room.

"Mommy, can I put my dress on now?"

Brooke stood.

"Yeah, baby, let's go."

Avery took Brooke's extended hand and they walked out of the room together.

Jude wiped a tear from his eye and looked up at Davis.

"I don't want to cry today, but I don't think I'll be able to stop myself," Jude told his twin.

Davis nodded and walked across the room to his brother, grabbing his hand.

"Then you just squeeze my hand real tight and we'll cry together."

Jude laughed slightly. He pulled Davis towards him and hugged his twin brother with all his might.

Their mom was right. They'd do this together.

;

Brooke tied the bow on the back of Avery's dress and turned her around.

"Well doesn't my angel just look so beautiful."

"Grampa calls me Angel..."

"Yes, I remember." Brooke nodded.

Avery smiled and looked down at the mostly black dress.

"Why are we all dressed up again?"

"Because we are going to say goodbye to Grampa Paul, remember sweetie?"

Brooke at first hadn't wanted the kids to go to the funeral, especially Avery. But then she remembered that Haley almost hadn't let Jamie go to Quentin's funeral many years ago, but it would have been a mistake not to.

"Yeah. He went to Heaven."

"That's right."

"Can he kiss me and give me a big hug before he leaves?"

Brooke sighed. "No baby. Grampa died honey. Remember how we talked about it. He's not here anymore."

"Oh.. and he's in heaven?"

"Yes."

"And we can't visit Heaven?"

"No we can't, I'm sorry baby."

"Is Daddy sad that his Daddy is in heaven?"

"Yes, he is very much. And I'm sure he'd really like it if you gave him a big hug and were on your best behavior today, okay?"

"I will Mommy."

;

When the Bakers arrived at the funeral, Julian saw Sylvia standing at the entrance of the Church. When she noticed Julian, she extended her arms and gave him a big hug. When they separated Sylvia hugged Brooke and the kids before they walked to the front aisles of the Church.

Sylvia linked arms with Julian as they walked.

"Well I'm quite surprised at the turn out from your father's loser friends. But I guess he had that affect on people."

Julian shook his head. "Please don't insult him now, mother."

"I'm not, Ju Ju Bee. Not anymore. That's done now. And in spite of everything Paul and I went through, I will always be grateful to him and I will always love him. You know why? Because he gave me you."

Julian nodded. "Thank you for being here for me, Mom."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else when you need me, Julian."

Sylvia parted from her son and sat in the second row, and Julian sat down in the front row aisle seat next to his wife and kids.

The funeral Mass was tasteful, as good as it could get, I assume. Julian had been offered the act of reciting a eulogy for his father, but in the end, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Dispite his job of interpreting stories and words on a piece of paper, Julian couldn't form sufficient words on the subject himself. Instead, a former partner at his production company and Paul's brother Peter each said a few words about the Paul they knew. But Julian didn't really recognize the man they described. Of course his work ethic and sarcasm were familiar, but not everything the men described reminded him of his father. He did wish he had known that man they described, but Julian had seen and known a very different side of Paul Norris.

Growing up, Paul was a very different person. But Julian had definately seen a change in him these past ten years.

Surprisingly enough, his will revealed that Paul wanted to be buried in North Carolina. He didn't want his family to have to fly across the country for his funeral services, so he made his old friends and collegues do that instead.

You see, Paul had retired from producing in LA when the boys were toddlers and he bought a house in North Carolina to be a part of their lives.

Julian couldn't quite understand why his father had done this, but he was thankful that his kid had a good relationship with their Grampa. At least someone did.

This was such a confusing day. Julian's feelings were so all over the place about his father. All he knew was that he just wasn't ready for today at all.

;

The limo ride on the way to the cemetery was quiet. The boys didn't make a peep and Avery just looked out the window for a while. It had been a very long Mass for them to sit through, so they must have been going stir crazy. But Brooke had asked them to be extra good for Julian's sake, and they were doing just that. She was very proud of them.

"Where are we going? I thought we already had the Mass for Grampa," Davis asked.

"We did baby, but we're going to the cemetery now and they'll have another little ceremony. Then we can go home, okay?"

"Yeah, I wanna go home," Avery said quietly, grabbing onto her mother's arm more tightly.

"Whoa!" Davis looked out the window. "A ton of cars with flags are following us."

"Yeah buddy, they're all coming with us. And we're almost there," Brooke told him.

Julian didn't say a word to anyone. When the car stopped, he opened the door and stepped out, fixing his jacket and took a deep breath.

The kids stepped out after him and Brooke touched his shoulder.

"You doing okay?"

"I just want this day to be over."

As everyone parked and walked towards the sight of Paul's grave, the wind started to pick up a bit. The procession of ushers came and placed the casket on the machine that would lower in into the ground and a large arrangement of flowers was set on the top.

Avery looked around and saw many sad faces that she knew. Not everyone knew Paul that well, like her Uncle Nathan, Aunt Haley, Uncle Lucas, Aunt Peyton, and her cousin Jamie, but they were there for Julian...and Brooke, and her brothers, and for her. Avery held the bottom of Brooke's black dress and hugged close to her leg. She began to get scared of the fact that her Grampa was going to be buried.. that's not really something a five year old could understand.

As the priest recited words she didn't understand, Avery didn't want to stand there quietly anymore. She let go of Brooke and tried to back up, but she bumped into to someone. Avery turned and saw Jude looking down at her with tears in his eyes. Davis was by his side, and they were holding hands. Davis helped out his free hand to Avery and she took it. She turned and stood between the boys in front of their clasped hands.

Everything was so confusing for the little girl. Her brother Jude never cried unless he was hurt. But Avery didn't understand that he was emotionally hurt. Jude was the kind of sporty kid that Paul adored. They were so alike in their interests and they bonded so quickly over it. In Julian's mind, Jude was the son Paul always wanted. And Davis liked sports too, so it was twice the pleasure for Paul from his grandsons.

As the ceremony ended and people started to dispurse, Julian walked away from the scene and in the opposite direction of the cars.

Brooke was torn about whether she should go after him. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Go."

Brooke turned and sighed when she saw Peyton. "I'll bring the kids to the limo and we'll wait until you're ready."

"Thank you, P. Sawyer."

Brooke approached Julian and didn't know what to say. She picked something simple.

"You coming, honey?"

Julian didn't look at her. "I just need a minute."

"Okay.." She stood back. She wouldn't leave him, but he wanted to be alone for a second.

Meanwhile, over by the road, Peyton directed the Baker children towards the limo that would take them home.

"But where's Mommy and Daddy?" Avery asked.

"They're coming, don't worry," Peyton assured.

As Davis got into the car in front of him, Jude turned and saw his father put his hand up causing Brooke to back away, not wanting to upset him. Then he got this urge within himself. He had to do something to help. His Dad was obviously miserable, and Jude wanted to help. So he ran.

"Jude!" Peyton called as she saw the nine-year-old sprinting away.

Jude ran towards his parents and past his mom before stopping suddenly. Brooke was surprised by his presence, but didn't say a word.

The son approached his father and took his hand. Julian was startled and looked down.

"Davis told me that if I squeezed his hand, he would cry with me... Will you cry with me too, Dad?"

Julian felt a weight fall down onto his shoulders and he sighed in pain. Physical and emotional pain. He nodded quickly.

The father dropped to his knees as he heard his son's cries start.

He had been trying to be strong for the kids all day. He had been trying to make things okay in his head. He had been trying to be a man, not the wimp he assumed his father thought he was. But there just wasn't a way to do that. Crying didn't make a man weak, and he didn't want to send the wrong message to his young children. If Jude wanted them to cry it out together, that was all the reason he needed.

Julian reached over and pulled Jude towards himself. The son rested his head on Julian's shoulder and they held each other tight.

;

After the ceremony at the cemetery, everyone congregated back to the Baker house for a little reception. The Bakers were the last ones to actually get back to their house, but Victoria met them at the door. She patted the kids' heads as they walked through the door and towards the food table. The poor things had been so good today, but now they were exhausted and starved.

"Hi mom," Brooke smiled. "Thanks for doing this."

Victoria gave her daughter an extra squeeze in her hug.

"It was no problem. All I did was stand here and greet everybody. Haley and the Karen's Cafe group did all the actual work."

Brooke smiled and looked to the kitchen to see Haley filling more hors d'oeuvre trays with the familiar Karen's Cafe wait staff: Emma, Molly, Braiden, and Aaron.

Julian passed by Brooke and Victoria and walked towards his bedroom without talking to anyone. Victoria noticed Brooke's frown.

"Hey.. everything will be okay."

"I just hate seeing him like this.. so depressed. It literally hurts me." Brooke grasped her chest with both hands.

"He just needs some time to grieve."

Brooke nodded, then walked over to one of Julian's uncles that she'd met this morning. It was wierd. There were so many people in her house today that were Julian's relatives - her relatives - that she'd never seen before. Julian had this whole life before he dropped everything to move to North Carolina to be with her. It was something she so appreciated about him, but something that also kept her in the dark about his past. There were so many things she didn't know and didn't understand, especially about Julian's relationship with his father.

Nathan and Jamie were standing together and saw Brooke stuck in a boring conversation with a random distant relative of Julian's and came over to save her.

"Excuse me, Brooke. Can we steal you away for a second?" Nathan asked.

The woman excused herself and Brooke sighed.

"Thanks Nate."

"Just doing what you'd to do for me..." Nathan smiled.

Jamie leaned in and engulfed his favorite aunt in a hug. He was much taller now; he'd turned seventeen in the spring and he had finally grown out of his 'Haley James: short-pants' height.

"How you doing, Aunt Brooke?"

"Better after this. Thank you, Jame, you always make me feel better in times like this."

Jamie laughed. He had a faint memory of his Aunt Brooke's breakdown at Quentin's funeral many years ago. That was feeling better?

Brooke pulled away. "Oh Jamie, can you do me a huge favor and go make sure the boys changed out of their suits. I'd rather they not ruin them the first time they've worn them."

"Yeah, no problem." Jamie walked away.

"How's Julian holding up?" Nathan asked, stepping closer to Brooke.

"Not good," she admitted. "He doesn't want to see and talk to anybody, which leave me to deal with his whole family. It's just so hard; I hate seeing him like this."

"Well we've all had some dark days in our lives; you know I have... Having you and the kids by his side will really help Julian deal with this."

"I don't know if just cheering him up will work this time.." Brooke doubted.

"Believe me," Nathan assured her, "All he needs right now is you."

;

When all the guests had gone home and the clean-up was pretty much finished, Brooke finally coerced Julian into coming out of their bedroom and eating something.

It was just cereal, but it was better than nothing. He sat on the couch and flipped through the channels of countless dumb shows.

Davis sat at the counter in the kitchen and was drawing a picture. Brooke came and sat next to him.

"What'cha doing, handsome?"

"Drawing a picture of me and Jude and Grampa at the baseball game so I don't forget what it was like."

"That's great, bud. Maybe you should write down all the stuff you did with Grampa and what you loved about him so you can always remember him."

Davis smiled. "Okay."

Avery walked out into the kitchen dragging a photo album she had taken from her parents' closet. She was now obsessed with the pictures they had in there ever since she had found out about Sam.

"Can we look at these, Mommy?"

"Ave, silly. Give me that," Brooke laughed and took the heavy book.

"Come sit."

Brooke went over and sat down next to Julian on the couch. Jude scooted over from the chair next to the couch and Davis abandoned his picture just for now. Avery sat up on Brooke's lap as she opened the album.

"These are all the pictures from your first days of school," Brooke said.

They went through the album and the kids laughed at how little they were when the twins had started school.

"Avery was a baby!" Davis pointed at the picture on the front steps of the kindergarden age twins with their one year old sister in between them, still in her pajamas.

Brooke flipped through the book and the pictures got more recent, year by year. They flipped to this past September and they all froze.

It was a bunch of pictures of Avery's first day of kindergarden and the twins first day of third grade. But in those pictures, there was also a specialy guest.

(flashback)

Paul pulled up to the house just after seven-thirty A.M. on this September morning and the Bakers were already outside. The three kids stood on the steps of the house, like they did every year on the first day of school so Brooke and Julian could snap countless pictures to capture the moment. Except this year Avery had a backpack on too.

"Grampa!" Davis spotted him first.

"Hey Paul, what are you doing here?" Brooke asked.

"I came to see how my grandkids' parents were holding up now that the house will be empty during the day..."

Brooke frowned since Paul knew her hand. Brooke was trying to hold it together, but could you blame her for being a little on edge? She had big sunglasses on this morning because her eyes were a little puffy from tearing up... okay crying... about how old the kids were getting and how it was Avery's first day of kindergarten.

"Why don't you get in a picture, Dad?" Julian suggested.

"Ah sure. Why not?"

Paul posed for a few pictures on the stoop with his three grandkids. Two were just of the four of them smiling, and the last one was a silly-faces picture, per Jude's request.

"Okay, now I'll take one of the Baker clan." Paul stepped towards Julian and reached for the camera.

"Thanks Paul." Brooke smiled. She had wanted a family picture today so this was the perfect chance.

When the pictures were done, it was time to head to school.

Davis hugged Grampa goodbye first. "Bye Grampa."

"See you soon, champ."

"Fist bump Grampa!" Jude held out his hand as his new way of getting out of hugging people.

"Pow!" Paul yelled and then scruffed Jude's hair.

As the boys went to the car, Avery ran up and jumped into Paul's arms. Paul groaned but then hoisted her up fully.

"Can't I just go to your house and play with you Grampa?"

Paul laughed. "No silly. You have to learn a lot of stuff and become really smart like you Dad, okay?"

"Okay.." Avery frowned.

"But we'll play together again really soon, I promise."

"Yay! Bye Grampa, I wuv wuv wuv you!"

"I love you too, my Angel."

Avery hugged her Grampa before he let her down and she hopped into Brooke's car with her backpack.

"Bye Paul."

"See you, dad."

Then the Bakers waved goodbye to grampa Paul as they headed to the elementary school.

(end flashback)

They were all pulled out of their memory by Davis.

"Can we watch a movie now?"

Brooke looked at the clock.

"It's already almost eight o'clock. A movie will put you way past your bedtime..."

"Aw come on mom, please!" Jude folded his hands, pleadingly.

Julian looked towards their DVD collection and half smiled for the first time today. He had an idea.

"Yeah, Brooke. They deserve it for being so great today."

Everyone was against Brooke so she backed down.

"Okay, what'd did you have in mind?"

Julian stood. He knew exactly where it was. Brooke realized it too and smiled.

"Is that even a kids' movie?"

"Well I saw it as a kid so I think they can handle it."

Julian slipped The Thin Red Line into the DVD players and sat back down.

"What's The Thin Red Line, Dad?" Davis asked, looking at the DVD case picture.

"I watched this movie a very long time ago with your Grampa Paul... and it was the best day I ever had with him..."

;

When the credits rolled, Avery was long asleep, but the boys held out.

"Come on guys, time for bed," Brooke smiled.

"Goodnight Daddy."

"I love you Dad." Brooke picked up Avery and Julian stood to kiss her forehead.

The boys each gave Julian a big hug and a kiss goodnight before they scampered to their rooms, which made Julian feel even better.

"You coming, babe?" Brooke asked.

"I'll be there in a minute."

Brooke nodded and left to tuck the kids in and head to bed herself.

Julian sat in silence for awhile and even went out on the porch to look at the stars. He tried to think of all the good times he'd had with his father, especially in the last few years.

No matter how many times Paul ragged on him, Julian never loved his father any less. He desperately wanted his approval, and in the end, Julian was happy with the signs of approval that he'd gotten. The past was in the past.

It could only be remembered, not changed.

Julian saw a large bird fly through the sky above him in the moonlight.

He smiled as he remembered his dad's words:

When my son Julian called me and asked me if I wanted to make a movie with him, I thought might be a nice chance to reconnect. But that was wishful thinking on my part because I was gone so often when he was growing up that we never really connected in the first place. And that's a shame. Whenever I finish a movie I have an expression: Let's kick it out of the nest and see if it flies. Well son we kicked you out of the nest and it's been a pleasure watching you soar.

;

Brooke was lying in bed under the covers when Julian came in. She was almost completely asleep so his moving around barely roused her. Julian got undressed and slipped under the covers on his side of the bed. He leaned towards his wife and wrapped his arm around her stomach, making butterflies fill it. He kissed her neck and up her jawline seductively as she smiled and stirred awake.

"Well what's this for?" Brooke smiled.

"If it wasn't for you, I never would have had these last few good year with my Dad. So I wanted to thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. I just made sure your dad knew what he was missing... and he made the right decision."

"Well you still deserve a thank you," Julian smiled.

"Okay, you'll owe me one," Brooke laughed. "Try and get some sleep okay?"

"I'll try. I love you."

"I love you too."

Julian didn't think he'd be able to get much sleep again tonight, but with Brooke's arms wrapped comfortably around him, he drifted off into a peaceful dream.

"Ju Ju Bee. Time for bed, let's go!" Sylvia called from the top of the staircase.

The credits were rolling on the boy's new favorite movie that they'd watched for the second time today and his father sat up. Julian made a mental note to put a poster of The Thin Red Line movie on his Christmas list.

"You better listen to your mother, Julian, or she'll never stop her yapping," Paul said.

Julian stood. "Thanks for spending the day with me. Can we do it again soon?"

"Sure thing pal," Paul nodded.

Julian smiled. "I can't believe you had a role in making this movie! I want to be just like you when I grow up, Dad. I'll be a big movie producer just like you."

"Well if you've got any of me in you then you'll be great at it," Paul joked but Julian still loved his approval.

Young Julian heard his mom call him to bed once again.

"Goodnight Dad. I love you."

Paul took a deep breath before his son scampered off to bed.

"I love you too, son."

.

REVIEW!

~Haley :)