Dawnstar94 - Heehee! It was a picture I found on deviantart that inspired that.

anon (who I suspect is Oreoskidz) - LOL one of my pals reckon that all of the characters from AMND should all just get together and have a great big orgy since they all love each other and stuff.

So, the second to last chapter (if I decide to split tomorrow's chapter in two) Merc and Benny are out and about. The bit with the scarf is from the 1968 film version because it was so funny and how could I not use it?

"Blah, blah, blah!" babbled Mercutio, underneath a large silk scarf he had brought out with him "Blah, blah, blah!"

"Mercutio, let's go inside" whined Benvolio.

"Bloh, bloh, bloh" answered Mercutio.

"It's boiling!" complained Benvolio, fanning himself.

"Blah, bloh, blah, bloh!"

"I heard the Capulets are out"

"Huh" snorted Mercutio.

"And if we meet up with them, we're sure to get into a fight"

"Whatever, Benvolio! I know you like fighting just as much as the next guy. Two words. Gabriel Fulgencio!"

Pink flared in Benvolio's cheeks "Yes, but that's because he's evil. He's a bitch!"

"And you get mad at Beatrix about Twilight. Didn't you rip down her poster of Edward Cullen the other day and scream at her it's not real? And didn't you throw her books out the window?"

"That was an accident. They were on the window sill, my hand just so happened to slip! I never..."

Mercutio playfully shoved Benvolio across Verona's square.

"And you and your dad had a row the other day, something about his girlfriends again. You didn't like Melanie very much, did you?"

"I never like his girlfriends! He just doesn't listen when I try to tell him that!"

"Benvolio likes fighting! Benvolio likes fighting!"

"I hate fighting! I always lose"

"You beat Gabe the Babe up"

"Gabe the what?"

"Gabe the Babe" repeated Mercutio "It's my new name for him. I thought some others up, like Prince of Snakes, to match Tybalt, but after seeing him in that super sexy costume last night, he is now Gabe the Babe, whether he likes it or not!"

"Oh, Mercutio..." sighed Benvolio, shaking his head. Mercutio had made his way over to Verona fountain. Benvolio perched on the edge, letting the water vapour spraying from the pool cool him. Mercutio, of course, ripped off his shirt and trousers, and jumped straight in.

"Mercutio! Get out! Put your clothes back on!"

"Come off it, Bennykins! It's not like I'm naked or anything. I know you're just as hot as I am. So jump in already!"

Benvolio took off his shoes and socks, and rolled up his trousers, so that his feet dangled in the water. He was a lot more self-conscious than Mercutio.

"You're so boring" Mercutio rolled his eyes.

"I'm not boring! I just know when it is appropriate to remove clothing!" protested Benvolio. He looked over the square, and then saw a group of people dressed in tracksuit trousers, grotty polo t-shirts, being led by a blond boy in very short denim shorts, and a white figure hugging vest top as he teetered on red heels.

"Oh no, here come the Capulets" said Benvolio.

"Hey, guess what? I couldn't care less!" shouted Mercutio.

Gabriel turned to the chavs "Follow me closely, I don't want them to attack me again"

Mercutio floated in the water peacefully.

"Mercutio, Benvolio" said Gabriel in greeting.

"Gabe the Babe" responded Mercutio.

Gabriel frowned, but did not make a reply to the irritating nickname "Could I have a word with one of you?"

"Have two. Fuck off. There you go" said Mercutio.

Gabriel frowned even more "I need to find Romeo"

"What for, a dinner date?" scorned Mercutio.

"I already have a girlfriend. As you should know" smirked Gabriel. Benvolio winced. Mercutio sensed his best friend's discomfort, and sat up.

"What do you want, Gabriel? And where's your guard cat Tybalt?"

"None of your business" said Gabriel "This is between Romeo and Tybalt. I do not have any desire to speak with either three of you, but I am such a good friend that I consented to play delivery boy"

"Good friend" gagged Mercutio.

"Whatever. Here comes the person I'm looking for"

Romeo waved across the square, and skipped over happily to join his friends. He stopped upon sight of Tybalt's gang, but then was surprised to see Gabriel was leading them all.

"Romeo" said Gabriel firmly.

"What do you want, Cheap Capulet Rip-off Version Of Mercutio?" asked Romeo. Mercutio roared with laughter and fell back into the fountain.

"Nothing. Tybalt asked me to give you this" Gabriel handed out a postcard. Romeo accepted it.

"What is it?"

"What do you think it is?"

"It's a postcard. From France" said Romeo.

"What does it say? Has he learnt to spell our names yet?" asked Mercutio.

"Apparently not" said Romeo, scanning the postcard.

"Why has he given us this?" asked Mercutio.

Gabriel smiled "Tybalt left for France about an hour ago. Rosaline has gone with him. Sounds romantic, don't you think?"

"He what?"

"Yes, that is correct, Mercutio" said Gabriel "Tybalt has left to go to France, with Rosaline. They shall be staying there for the summer, and shall return the day before Rosaline receives her GCSE results. Which is, I believe, not until the end of August. So I guess you will have no one to annoy all summer, no one to prank call, no one to harass, no one to fight with. Enjoy"

Gabriel got up, the chavs following. Romeo read the postcard.

"It goes like this" Romeo cleared his throat, and then put on an exaggerated Tybalt voice "Hey, Montergoo loser, guess wot. U is gonna hav a well gud summur cos u ain't gonna be able to anoy me and Ros no more. Just packed my bags for France, and me and Ros are gonna stay their at ma Nanny and Grampy's all summer and u ain't gonna anoy us or nuffin. So I hope u and Mercushyo and Benvollyo hav a well gud time without me to piss off no more and don't ferget ter shove ya head in a bog and flush it. Also hav fun having orgies wiv dat slutty bastard cuzzin of mine called Hurmya. Lots of hate, Tybalt"

Mercutio looked over at the postcard and shrugged "At least he can spell his own name right"