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ALL RIGHTS GO TO CHARLAINE HARRIS!

Chapter twenty-one

Eric's POV

"Where do we start then, Sookie?" I probe as we sit down; we are sat on the sofa next to each other, but facing each other. She is within reaching distance, but she is not close enough for me to hug her.

"I always find the beginning to be the best place" she tells me, obviously expecting me to just know what she wants me to say.

"But where is the beginning?" now I believe that is a suitable answer. She did not specify after all.

"Why Eric? Why did you do it? What actually happened up to when you almost had sex with her? Did you even think about me at all through that entire meeting with that whore?" she demands, her anger flaring quickly. I will blame her pregnancy hormones for that for now.

"I did not plan it. You were very hormonal, so I went to Fangtasia for a few days, giving you time to calm down and handle your emotions. While I was there, the day when I came home eventually after you phoned me about Ammy, Pam told me there was a dancer there waiting for me to interview her. I had a spare position, Yvette, after all, is too old to be dancing now. She is in her late thirties almost; my customers want young, sexy females. So I let Pam send her in, I did not anticipate the fact that she would be young, sexy and dressed irresistibly" I begin, Sookie's glare practically burning through me.

"You didn't have to say that last bit; you just make me feel old and useless. You don't make me feel sexy, or even pretty when you talk like that" Sookie sighs. Great, now I have upset her further. What is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry. But you did ask that I tell you everything, and I assumed the truth was something you appreciate. Now would you like me to go on?" if looks could kill, I believe I would be burned to death by now.

"Please, by all means, carry on being an ass" Sookie insists with complete and utter sarcasm.

"Don't be like that. She came in, I thought she was sexy. She has nothing on you, you are the most beautiful and sexy person I have ever met, but at that present time I was not thinking. I had not fed and I was looking for a dancer that would pull in the crowd. She was it, well, at least that's what I thought at first. She danced and the way she moved…she was enchanting. She swayed with confidence and I am ashamed to say that I checked out her ass during the process" I carry on, completely ignoring Sookie's hurt and angered emotions that are attacking me through the bond we have.

"During her routine she came to lap dance on me, I did not protest. That was wrong of me, I realise that now, but at that time I didn't know what I wanted; I didn't even think about anything but her and why I was thinking of her in such a crude way. When the song came to an end I kissed her, properly kissed her. She was making me crazy and very horny. I stripped off her shirt and I sucked and fondled her breasts. I would have bit into her neck if it hadn't of been for the phone. That phone was what brought me back into sanity. Sookie, I hate what I did, I hate that I have upset you, I hate that you no longer trust me. I would not blame you if you no longer loved me. But remember this, I have always cared for you, I have always loved you. This is the first mistake I have ever made throughout our relationship" I reason, Sookie's mouth hanging open at that.

"I cannot believe you just said that; you have made tons of mistakes through our relationship. You have neglected not only me, but your children as well. The twins don't know what to make of you anymore, they love you, just like I do, but you have wronged them more times than you have me. Like when the twins had that school play, the school specifically made sure it was later on at night so that you could come to it, but no, you phoned up and said you were too busy. Then there was Ammy, she had just found out that Isaac had been cheating on her, she came home crying the day after she found out, she had spent the night at Alec's, you were here for that, and all you did was shoo her away. You didn't care, Eric. The man I knew would have gone and soothed her, he would have hunted down the person who did that to her and probably would have killed them. You just turned your head the other way, your God damn phone was getting more attention from you than your kids were" Sookie shakes her head, but not once did she ever mention herself.

"And what about you, what have I done wrong to you?"

"You made me feel as though you didn't care. You barely phoned me when you were living in Arkansas; I had to ask Pam how you were. Then you let our children down on numerous occasions. Then there was that time when someone mugged me, I ended up with several injuries that Ammy tended to. I was shaken up. It took you days to actually come and see me to see how I was. Sure, you phoned me up, but that just wasn't enough. I needed you there to comfort me, but you said that your Kingly duties were keeping you. The Eric I knew wouldn't have cared about that; he would have dropped everything to come and see me, to hold me, to take care of me. And when you did finally turn up, you just apologised for not coming sooner. Sorry is just a word, you actually never proved how sorry you were, you didn't buy me flowers, you didn't get me chocolates, you just said sorry. Why am I even still with you? You have been nothing but an inconsiderate ass to this family since you left. What happened to the man I feel in love with?" Sookie sobs, my heart breaking with her every tear.

Her every word felt like a silver bullet to my heart; she's right. I have been a horrible partner and father, so why did she agree to marry me if I treat her so badly? Maybe she thought things would get better now that I was back. But I have just proved her wrong.

"Sookie…I…I…How can I make all of this up to you? I have wronged you in more ways than one. Why are you still with me? Why do you still care about me? How can you still care about me?" I whisper as I feel my world crumble around me. I never should have left my family, I have wrecked this family, I have damaged the love and trust both you and our children held for me. I have created so many cracks in this family that I don't know how I'm going to fix them all.

"Because I love you. And when you're in love you try to make it work, but sometimes it doesn't. I just thought this would, and I didn't want to give up on you. Not just because of the fact that I need you, but because the children need you. We, as a family, need you" Sookie cries further. Maybe I should just leave now, they would be better off without me.

"Would you like me to go? I don't deserve you, Sookie, and I have neglected this family so much that I don't even know if I will be able to restore the damage I have done. I want to try though, I want to try and make up for everything. I will do absolutely anything to get us back to the way we were before I left for Arkansas. I am no longer needed there; I gave the thrown away because I decided my family were more important. I know it's too late, but I still want to try. I need to try. I love the children. And I love you. So much" I even felt bloody tears scraping down my cheeks. How can she ever forgive me?

"Eric, we want you back here with us. We all want to get back to the way we were, and as long as you are willing, we can do this" Sookie assures me, but she missed out one important detail.

"As a family" I add on "Together, we can be a family, a proper family who care and love each other. Maybe we can all go away together, give us all a chance to get away from everything. A chance to start over. I'm not suggesting moving away, I'm just suggesting a few weeks away from here. What do you say?" I can do this; I can bring this family back together. I will have my family back, I am determined. I watch Sookie carefully as she bites her lower lip, she is blatantly deep in thought; her hand is aimlessly stroking her stomach, almost as if she was asking our unborn child to help her come to a decision.

"Let's do it. A family holiday. A clean slate. A couple of weeks away from here will do us good" she smiles at me, my happiness over taking me as I pull her onto my lap where I hug her for all I am worth.

"I love you, Sookie Stackhouse. And I will make all of this up to you; you deserve the world, the moon and the stars. And I know I have not been doing that for you lately, but from now on I will. I can't lose you or the children. I know I have lots of grovelling to do, and I know it will take us a long time to re-establish the trust we once had with each other, but we will get there" I assure her, a small smile on her lips as she hugs me again, she even places a soft kiss on my cheek.

"I know we will. I believe in you, and so do the kids. But, Eric, if you ever try that again I swear down I will not forgive you. I will walk out that door with the children and never come back" she warns me.

"I understand and it will never come to that. I promise. But, Sookie, can I ask you something?" I probe as I watch her fiddle with the engagement ring I bought for her when I proposed. She nods as she looks up to meet my gaze.

"Is the wedding off?" for answer she kisses me, her lips feeling like heaven against mine. I have missed this so much, I have missed her and I love her with all my heart.

"Does that answer your question?" she laughs as she rests her head on my shoulder.

"Can I…can I feel your stomach?" I probe, hoping to God I haven't over stepped the line.

"Yes, but, Eric, I'm going to stay in the spare room for a few more days. Just until we get back on track" she tells me as she moves my hand over her stomach. I just want to feel the small baby bump that is there, the bump that tells me our child is growing in her womb.

"I understand. Just remember that I love you" I murmur to her as I hug her again. I cannot believe that she is allowing me back in, I still have five days left, but she has allowed me back in already. But I think this talk has also made a contribution to where we are now. And for that, I am thankful for.

"I love you, too, Eric. I always will, I just want us to get passed this and start over. That's what people in love do; we give things a second chance. Although we're probably passed second chances by now" she giggles, making my unbeating heart feel lighter.

"I'm sure I will need no more chances. I am going to be the perfect father and partner there is. I guarantee you that" I grin as I kiss her cheek while still basking in the softness and warmness of her body. I will never risk losing her. Never. She is mine, and she always will be.

AN: I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and I know you all probably think Eric is a complete and utter asshole, but I promise I will make him the lovely man he once was. Well, still is in some ways… Anyway, I hope it was okay for you and thank you all for reading my story, I will update again as soon as possible and I hope you all enjoy the regular updates xx