A.N. As promised, here is chapter 17! Please don't forget to review :)

Somehow, I ended up standing on the dock, thinking about how my life must seem utterly miserable to the outside world. Looking up at the sun, a new set of tears came without my consent. A thousand thoughts rushed through my head. Who cares about anything when there isn't a single person in the world who cares about you? What was the point in living if the person you love is beyond your reach, and there is no one who can comfort you? When the person you love is your best friend, and they are the one who left you? Who can you turn to? There is no one.

If I died, would anybody come rushing over to find me? Would anyone truly miss me if I left this world? Even if they did miss me, it would only be for a moment. They wouldn't mourn for too long. Time would continue as if I never existed.

I wondered how Edward was doing. Was he happy right now? Did he ever think of me during our time apart? All I wanted was for him to miss me, even just half of what I missed him. A strange sort of panic started to rise in me. What would he do if he saw me right now? I must look like a wreck! Nothing like how a princess should act!

A little part of my brain registered a strange straggled sobbing sound, and I wondered where it was coming from. There wasn't any one else around. It took me a moment before I realized, the noises were coming from me. I immediately tried to quench the sounds. Deciding that I should wash my face, I leaned into the lake slightly, cupping my hands.

As I looked down at the water, I could see my reflection. My face was blotched and red, streaks of brown hair sticking to my tear-stained face. I was hardly a model of beauty. Why would Edward be thinking of me?

Still staring into the crystal blue lake, I couldn't shake off the feeling of how inviting the cool waters looked, and how much I wanted to dive in it way I did with Edward. Remembering how deep the water was, and how wonderful it felt when I was swimming in it, I suddenly had the urge to jump in the water and stay in it forever.

My mind flashed back to the time when Edward was here with me.

"Bella! Just jump in!"

"Bu…but the lake looks really deep, what if I drown?" He rolled his eyes.

"Bella, just jump. I'll be here to catch you."

"Honestly Edward! If anything happens to me…"

"Then, I'll be the first there to save you." I smiled,the memory acting both as a sharp knife and a warm hug at the same time. I bent my knees, and jumped.

I felt the cool water crash around me, caressing me through my clothes as I sunk deeper and deeper into the lake.

Memories of the times I spent with Edward replayed before my eyes. Edward saving my pet bird from the cat the day it somehow got into the cage. Edward drawing a portrait of me sitting on the swing. Edward fixing up my scrape when I decided I didn't want to come down from the tree, and then jumped down when he threatened to tell my father. Edward when he was working hard in the garden, his sweat shining on his handsome face. I saw his smile, and all the times he caught be before I hit the ground. And his eyes. His eyes that filled with tenderness whenever he looked at me.

I felt a surge of pleasure to be able to see him again. I didn't want to live anymore, and was aware of it. I have already lost two people I loved, how many more would I have to lose? I already knew that Jacob was better off without me, and although he's not tired of me now, eventually, even he will leave me too. My mother and father also wanted nothing to do with me, that's the only reason they hired a governess. Father is always busy and Mother is dead. Wait was mother dead? A shock ran through me.

No, I'm certain she's still alive. She told me she loved me. At the very least, I had to go see her one last time and tell her how much I love her and father too.

Was I really so sad that I didn't want to live? I felt my face turn into a frown. That couldn't be true. There were people out there that had even less than I do. I had Jacob, and my parents. Especially Mother. She's so sick now! If I died, what would happen to her?

I panicked. Mother was already so frail. If she received another shock… I have to live. I had to see Jacob; I had to wait until I saw Edward once more. I had to wait a little while longer, at least to see how things end up. I must live, for Edward, for Mother. My back hit the ground, and realized that I had almost no air left.

'No!,' I thought. I started struggling, trying to get to the surface of the water. Using the strength I had left, I pushed through the water, kicking as hard as I could. Lifting my head, I could see how far away the surface was. With each struggle, I felt my arms and legs getting heavier and my clothes dragging me down. My lungs were screaming for air, as the last of my strength gave out on me.

Remembering that this was what I wanted in the first place, I stopped resisting. This was my punishment for taking the easy way out. Looking up, I watched the sun's rays pierce through the water, making it sparkle. I saw my hair gently floating in the water, and for a minute, I thought that I saw Edward's worried face, peering into the water before I felt my eyes getting heavier. My head started sagging and I was about to fall asleep forever, thinking about the short life I had. I was glad I could see the memories of Edward and I before I died.

Suddenly, she dove less than gracefully into the water. At first, I thought she was trying to clear her head like she always did when we were kids. She used to say that the water made her feel better and sometimes she would stay under it for a while; but as I watched, I noticed how long she was in the water... and there wasn't any sign of her coming up. I was a little bit concerned, but still convinced she was just having a little fun. Despite my former determination to not reawaken old memories, I found myself intrigued by her tears. Why was she crying?

My mind told me to walk away, yet all I wanted was to look at her. I walked over to the edge of the lake, and peered into the depthless waters. I saw a little movement, and I froze. Her lifeless figure floated up to the surface.

Panic and fear filled my body, and without a second thought, I jumped into the water. The water was cold against my skin, and it stung to open my eyes. I pushed myself downwards, deeper into the lake. I quickly spotted her limp, unmoving frame, suspended in the water. I swam to her, desperately reaching for her arm, and pulling her toward the surface. I brought her head out of the water with mine, and wrapping my arm around her waist, guided her to shore. I gently lay her down on the ground, and brushed the hair out of her face.

A few droplets of water clung to her pale face, accentuating her beauty, as well as her pale skin.

"No…." I croaked.

I felt strong hands suddenly grab my arm, and felt my body being carried out of the water, only to be put down carefully on the ground. I felt sudden pressure on my chest and head. My whole body felt like weights were being put on it.

'Am I dead?' I thought incoherently. Wasn't death supposed to be less painful than this. Maybe I was in hell for trying to escape from the pain. If I was in hell, I might as well get used to it. I opened my eyes, only to close it again in shock.

Yes, I was definitely dead. Otherwise, there was no reason for me to see those topaz eyes again. Yet, it made no sense that Edward would be in hell with me. He was still alive, right? I felt someone shake me.

"Bella? Bella!"

"Edward?"

Yes, that was his voice. A horrible pain shot through my chest as my water soaked lungs struggled to cope with the cool air. The fact that I recognized my surroundings, and the pain, proved that I was alive. A strange joy started to grow in me. It was almost like I was whole again. Despite the pain, I felt like I was finally breathing once more. Oh, how happy I was to see him!

"I am dead, aren't I?" I asked. I was almost certain I was alive, but I wanted to hear it from his mouth.

"What on earth where you thinking, Bella? You could have gotten killed if I weren't passing by! Don't you ever do that again! What if you died?" Edward yelled.

"Edward? I'm not dead?" I could almost laugh with relief. I had another chance.

"Of course you are not dead! I just saved you! Barely! You were practically dead by the time I got to you!" Edward's hair was dripping and his eyes were narrowed; yet, I had never seen anyone so beautiful.

"Are you mad? Why in the world would you do such an idiotic thing? You nearly gave me a heart attack! Don't you ever-" I cut him off by hugging him around his neck and burying my face in his chest. It really was Edward.

"Yes, of course Edward. I will never do it again!"

'Not now that you're here,' I added in my head. I embraced him tightly, not wanting to let go.

Edward eyes widened in shock, and his arms didn't fully come around me. I knew he didn't grasp the fact that I missed him with all my heart, and was glad that he was the one who saved me. I knew he didn't carry the same feelings I had for him, and my hug probably meant something else for him, but I was still glad to be able hold him in my arms.

I felt him return my hug, hoping it meant that he missed me a little too. He broke it off, all too soon, and then I realized that there was a gash on the side of his hand and he was bleeding.

"Edward, you're hand," I gasped. The world started to swirl around me slightly as I registered the disgusting smell of rust and salt. I shook off the dizziness and forced myself to focus on the fact that Edward was hurt because of me.

"I'm fine, it's just a scrape; I'm not the one who almost drowned just now." But before he could object, I ripped a piece of my chemise off and wrapped it around his hand.

"Thank you, Edward," I said, and gave him a warm smile. Edward stiffened at my touch, and watched me tend to his scratch. I felt his gaze bore into my head, but I felt uneasy trying to meet it, knowing if I did, he would see the bright pink streaks blossoming across my face. Finally not able to stand the silence any longer, I looked up. What I saw in his eyes wasn't fear, or worse, worry. What I saw was what I saw in the mirror each day when I thought of him. I saw love. He was looking at me with such intensity that I could not look away. Gently he brushed my cheek with his finger.

"Bella, I-"

"Princess!" a suddenly worried call was heard coming from behind Edward, and Jacob, Alice, Jasper, and another female servant running towards us. His hands left my face like it had been burnt. A strange look crossed his face, and I saw a hardened mask slip over his features.

"Princess, are you ok? Why are you all wet?" Jacob asked. His face showing unspeakable concern.

"I'm fine," I said, mustering a smile, "I was drowning and Edward saved me. If he weren't there I don't think I would have made it."

Gasps came from Alice and the other female servant. "Dear Lord! Princess, are you okay?" Alice practically screamed hysterically.

"I'm fine." I muttered uncomfortably. Jacob looked shocked. Horror seemed to rack his features. He turned to Edward.

"Thank you Edward, you have just saved the most precious person to me. I owe you more than you can ever imagine. I'll be taking care of her now," he added. "You may go and tend your wound," Jacob said then turning to the other servants, he ordered,

"Please bring her to her room, change her into some drier clothes and let her get some rest." Jasper, Alice and the other servants bowed and took me away.

"Are you sure you're okay, Princess?" Jacob asked with a grin, while his eyes still shown concern. I rolled my eyes, and grinned back.

"I'm fine, dear Prince," I said4 sarcastically. Looking back, I saw Edward, sitting under a tree, looking stunned, at the water.