A.N. HELLO EVERYONE! It's been a while, hasn't it? :) Sorry it's taken so long, but since school started I've been busier than I'm used to :$ Anyways... Here's chapter 18 of Servant Boy ! And for my New Years Resolution, I will try my best to update more frequently. Thank you for sticking with me for so long everyone! :D (LL) HAPPY NEW YEAR! (and Merry Belated Christmas haha)

The silence was deafening. An uneasy feeling crawled over me as I sat up in bed. The sudden rush of blood to my head made me spin. Where was I again? Oh, yes, that's right. My bed. So it wasn't a dream. I was really here. The pounding of my head was beating in sync with the pulse of my heart beat. Trying to sort out my thoughts, I instantly looked out the window. I could see the early signs of the sunrise coming, the sky changing into a lighter, duller gray. I wiped the beads of sweat that was rolling down my forehead. My breathing was shaking and the silence continued to pierce me. My head was whirling as I tried to remember yesterday's events. There was something about water… the Prince… A shiver ran down my spine. There it was again; that restless feeling I felt earlier.

I could barely move. The wave of desolation that engulfed me was similar to that horrible few minutes when I thought Bella, was dead. I felt useless, my heart breaking into fragments as her lifeless body pressed against mine. Tears of anger overcoming me, and all I could think about was that I wasn't able to save her, that I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I would never again see her smiling face, or to hear her bell-like laugh. Everything I looked forward to, everything that I ever cared about was shattered the moment I thought she breathed her final breath. I was too late to save her. I was too late to do anything.

Then I thought about the relief, that bitter-sweet, heart-rending moment when I realized she was still alive; how grateful I was that I had a second chance. When she opened her eyes, and shock flew over her face; when she hugged me and caught me off guard; my heart soared in utter bliss, immersed in the one fact that made the world beautiful. It took a lot to restrain myself from doing anything to scare her off. My heart started to beat again. For a second, as her slim arms griped my waist, I thought maybe she missed me too, but at the same time, I also knew that it was impossible. I knew she was just happy that I saved her, and that she was alive.

By the time Bella was wearing some drier clothing and settled by the fire, the moon had already risen and twilight had passed. Since the Swans were grateful their Bella was safe, and because it would be too difficult to get back to the Black's Castle, King Charlie insisted that we stayed for the night. Of course, Jacob accepted the offer in a courtly, slightly eager manner. So here I was again, in what was once my bed. I wasn't sure what time it was, so I waited eagerly until I heard movement outside. Impatiently wondering when I could go and see Bella again.

It felt like days later before the rest of the castle started waking up, but when I heard the familiar sounds of Esme humming, I quietly snuck out of my room and headed to the garden. Nothing had changed in the months I was away. The intricate chairs, which everyone had seen, but no one had ever sat on, were found in the exact location they were before. The curtains, the same shade of blue, were still drawn over the large windows. An old portrait of the Swans, taken when Bella was just a baby, still hung on the wall at the end of the hallway.

Although I knew that I didn't work there anymore, I couldn't help but follow the schedule I had committed to memory. After tending to the flowers in the garden, and grooming Jeluby, I went to the kitchen to see if the others needed some help. They made a face, and grumbled about how they were fine; but Prince Jacob's sudden sleepover made for extra work, and I could see that they were glad to have an extra pair of hands. After some persuading on my part, they reluctantly put me to work. The rest of the morning went by in a flash, but Bella wasn't far from my mind.

I felt that I was missing something, as if everyone knew something that I didn't. There was something odd in the way Bella just leapt into the water, like she was aware she was drowning, and didn't care that she was. The way her face lit up when she saw me, like she had been waiting for my return for decades. But what bothered me the most was the strange in the way Prince Jacob looked when he saw Bella. How he had excessive concern about her, far more than a mere friend would. The way he touched her as if she belonged to him, and made me think there was something more to it then there should be.

"Edward, dear?" Esme's soft voice called me back from my reverie. "Would you ever be so kind as to help Carlisle? The King had sent him to see to it personally how the Queen is doing, and yet some merciless person had also told him to fix the stable fences and then feed the horses. Jasper can to do the rest once he has finished the rest of his chores, so don't worry yourself over finishing everything."

"Of course, Esme. You need not ask a second time," I said curtly, and excused myself.

I knew agreeing to do something meant that I actually had to do it, but I had this sick feeling at the pit of my stomach. It was like my insides were being tied into knots, churning without notice. Assuring myself that no one else would mind if I took a short break, I decided to walk around again. So, instead of heading straight to the stable fences, I took a small detour, passing by the Royal Rooms. That was my first mistake.

I turned around the corner and coming from the music room I heard the sound of the piano's keys being played. The natural sound echoed around the room as each chord merged fluently into the next, the music giving off a soothing quality. The pianist's gentle touch played the chords without trouble, and each note was practically demanding to be heard even before it was played. I knew instantly that Bella was the pianist. I looked through the open door to the room and saw that she was alone. She looked so focused and determined to play the piece properly, that she didn't notice me standing there.

Not wanting to interrupt her new found love of the piano, I waited beside the entrance for her to finish. Looking at her, I noticed the curve of her lips, the smooth, creamy color of her skin, and the length of her soft looking hair. Her fingers sped up as she continued to play. Suddenly, I realized that Bella was sitting only inches away from me, just inches away to touch. I wanted to hold her again, to lay a hand on her warm cheek and know she was alright. The end of the song came, and ended with a loud soprano sound. I opened my mouth to say how magnificent she sounded but, instead, a voice other then my own applauded.

"Bravo! Encore! Encore!"

Bella stood up, took a rather bashful bow, and Jacob got up from a stuffed armchair that was situated behind the door, giving her a long, five second hug. He then backed up and put his hands on her shoulders and looked her deeply in her eyes. He smiled at her warmly and she returned it with her own. I stood there, baffled. Somehow, I managed to tear my gaze away from the couple, turn on my heels, and leave quietly. I felt like I was intruding on something I wasn't supposed to see. A mix of panic and shame flooded over me as I thought of what would happen if I were caught.

Shaking my head, I forced myself to think about the chores I needed to do. I had to get a grip on reality and do something, anything to distract myself. I knew hating the Prince for being so close to Bella wasn't really a valid reason to want to punch him into oblivion, but I couldn't help it. It was as if there was a monster ripping out of my chest, and it was begging me to hit Jacob. Envy flooded through me, because I finally understood that it was Bella who was Jacob's "Important Person." My mind wrapped around the meaning behind Jacob's overly concerned look in his eyes when he saw her. The way he smiled and laughed when she laughed, the way he subtly touched her arm. The pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and I finally understood. It was love. He loves her.

A cold chill ran through me as I felt something break. This was how it was meant to be; a Prince in love with a Princess. Who was I to say it's wrong and ruin their relationship? It was evident that she did not hold any feelings for me.

My mind wasn't working up to speed and I realized that I was absentmindedly fixing the fence, my hands moving unthinkingly. What was I going to do with this new found sense of jealousy? If I saw them together like that again, how would I react? Would I really be able to control myself, or would I end up choking the Prince and trying to kill him? I imagined my hands wrapping tightly around the Prince's scrawny neck, squeezing him until…

"Edward?" Bella's sweet voice echoed in my head. I could hear it overflowing sadness and fear.

Oh. That's right. Of course I couldn't hurt him. If he were to attack me, I couldn't even lift a finger to defend myself without also hurting Bella. If I do so much as hit him, I knew I would not gain anything out of it because the person I have been trying to make happy, would not be. I love Bella, and this pain I felt, knowing Bella was better off without me, crushed my every being. When did I become so weak?

Jacob's hug was lasting too long. Trying to be subtle, I gently pushed him away. He gave me a warm smile, and I returned it with a light grin, hiding the growing guilt in my stomach. When he hugged me, I knew what his feelings behind it were. For some time now, I was aware that Jacob fancied me, and I knew I was leading him on for my own sick need. To be honest, I knew it was wrong for me to be taking advantage of his kindness by using him to fix me, but I could not help it. I needed Jacob too. He was like my own personal sun. Just being with him made me feel better. I was afraid that if I did not pretend to feel the same way he felt, he would leave me, and I would be alone. Again.

But that wasn't what I was thinking about right now. Edward was somewhere in the castle, and I was doing everything to stop myself from frantically searching around for him. All the nights of yearning to see him again, wishing on every star, and hoping on every dandelion I could find in the garden; my wish had finally come true. He was here and I could finally tell him how much I really cared. I started to get dizzy with emotion as I realized the possibility of him tossing away my feelings like dirt. Would I be able to handle his words? The uncertain events of the future seemed too swallow me in their magnitude. I felt some sour, liquid like venom creeping up my throat and I quickly turned to Jacob.

"Jacob, please excuse me, I don't feel well…," I mumbled. I turned on my heels and ran out the door before he was able to see where I went. Clutching my stomach, I bent over and threw up outside behind the Kitchen.

Once my nerves had finished their work on my unfortunate self, I decided it was best to stay outside. When I realized I was standing near the place Edward usually worked in, I casually walked over to see if he was there. No such luck. Where is he? I wondered. I couldn't help it. My need to see him grew more and more each passing minute, and I began to obsess over finding him as I wandered through the castle. I knew he would no longer be in the Kitchen, or the garden or I would have met him by now. He wasn't too fond of what Jeluby's barn smelled like, so I was positive he wouldn't be there either. The thought of him being near the pond crossed my mind, but somehow my intuition told me he wasn't there. The only other place he would go was…

I suddenly felt a surge of hope flow through me, as I ran past the barn and headed into the forest. The trees clawed at me as I charged through, ignoring the scratching of branches, not caring if I got hurt. He had to be there. He had to. With each stride I felt more my chest swell up with anticipation to see him. My legs seemed to move slowly as they struggled to catch up with my need to see him.

Turning around the last corner through the thinning bushes, I saw the clearing and held my breath. 'Please be there, please oh please be there,' I thought desperately. At first, it was too quiet to tell if someone else was there as I slowed my run into a slow walk. Finally, I saw him. He was crouched down in the in front of a tree stump, offering food to a little brown rabbit. The sun's rays peeked through the canopy of the trees and set an unearthly like glow on him. He
tilted his head subconsciously, his angelic face softening as the bunny coward in fear. The rabbit looked at him, terrified, and swiftly hopped away, leaving a rather confused Edward staring after it.

Not wanting to disturb his peaceful moment, I quietly made my way towards him. Kneeling down beside him, I said,

"I thought you would be here."

"I thought you would come by," he answered, not moving. He continued to look in the direction the bunny left.

"The poor thing," I murmured.

"It is, isn't it?" He agreed, still not looking up.

"Edward." I said, my voice demanding that he finally looked at me. He did, and I felt all the love I felt for him pour over me. I just wanted to touch him… to make him love me. With a start, I realized how close our faces were. His eyes continued to bore into mine. I stared deeply back into his eyes, trying to keep his gaze, but I ended up getting lost into his amber eyes. I felt my whole body grow weak, and without my permission, move by itself. Within seconds, we were close enough to…

I caught myself, and looked away before I embarrassed myself any more than I already had. Of course he wouldn't want to kiss me back. To him, I was just a child.

"I- I should go," I managed to stutter out, as I stood up and started to walk. Edward followed me, and together we walked back to the castle. We didn't talk on our way back. There were so many things I had to say, but I knew right now wasn't the right time to say it.

Later that afternoon, Jacob decided it was time to go home. The servants loaded his carriage, and bade their farewell to Edward.

"Jacob, will you not stay here a little longer?" I asked, pleadingly, ignoring the amused looks of nearby servants who realized we were not only on a first name basis, but also that I was begging him to stay. No doubt gossip would ensue regarding the whole thing, but for me, I had another reason for Jacob to stay back. Edward and I had only been reunited for a day, and it seemed too soon to have to say goodbye again.

"Isabella, are you okay?"

I blinked. He obviously caught on to my confusion.

"You almost drowned yesterday. Don't worry. I'll be back sooner than you think. Anyway, you are always welcome to visit me," he whispered carelessly, before hopping in the carriage and driving away.

For the first time, I watched the carriage leave. I did not dare move an inch until it was so far away along the dirt road, that I could no longer see it. My eyes glued not on my best friend, but on the coppery locks of the man I loved. My heart broke slightly as I lost sight of the carriage.

"When will I see you again?" I whispered.