I had MAJOR inspiration for this. I'd be better off putting my hand to Undertale, as that's what the community loves in terms of my stories, but IDGAF, I haven't written for Homestuck in a while, so here's this heap of shit. Homestuck is owned by Andrew Hussie, and I take no credit for his genius.
Your name? KARKAT VANTAS. Your situation? LOVER-BOY that has been SCREWED-OVER-FUCKWAYS.
You would've thought of DAVE STRIDER as a legitimately good guy, but BETRAYAL has it's SECRET BUT DESTRUCTIVE ways.
Not only that, but your friends have fully ABANDONED you. JOHN never makes eye contact since he skipped a grade. AC never says shit anymore, and it's really taking a toll on your sanity.
But in order for a true CONTEMPLATION OF SITUATION to be possible, you suppose you should be telling why you're in this situation. You decide it's best to keep a third-person narrator for the time being as well. And to think, the entire shithole your life has become all started on your thirteenth birthday - also the first day of school, which was bullshit - three years ago.
Karkat looked up at the damned junior highschool he was going to be forced to go to for the year. It was unlikely he'd make any friends. Despite what his friends from his last school, he was very quiet and shy... The loud one was Gamzee Makara, but it pained him to think about him. Moving took a toll on him every time, especially when leaving behind an amazing friend like that...
Karkat promised himself he wasn't about to cry as he walked inside - but he damn sure wanted to. His parents hadn't asked his opinion, but they had asked his brother, Kankri.
He sighed. No need in looking back right now. His future self was doing that and we don't want inception-level flashbacks happening. He took out his schedule to look at his homeroom. Ms. Linda. Well, time to go make a fool of himself. He adjusted his backpack and headed to her room. When he got there, most of the class appeared to already be there.
He scanned the room, looking for a place to sit in the back - away from the commotion. He found a spot and headed to sit there. When he sat down, he realized that he'd sat by someone. Dammit, he was looking to be alone! He turned to look at the boy. He seemed pretty normal. Shiny black hair, - albeit in an odd hairdo - square black-rimmed glasses.
"Um," he said in vain of trying to get the boy's attention. He appeared to be staring at something on the wall. He cleared his throat, again in attempt to get the boy's attention. He finally turned around and Karkat looked at his face. Piercing blue eyes, nothing very weird. He had all the reason to sit up fr- oh. He looked at his mouth and saw his buck teeth. He must've gotten bullied a lot for that.
"Oh, hi! I'm very sorry, I wasn't sure if I heard you the first time. My name's John Egbert, and might I ask who you are?" John asked cheerily.
That grin across his face, just the look of him in general was very optimistic.
"U-Uh... I'm Karkat Vantas..." he could tell how awkward he was at that moment. John could, too, but he continued nonetheless.
"Well, it's great to meet you, Karkat! I'll have to introduce you to everyone at lunch," once John said that, Karkat went into s silent state of shock. His eyes widened and he gave John a weird look. Almost fearful, yet welcoming at the same time.
But that faded when Karkat realized that he wasn't about to get through this year without making some friends. "Uh, I-I don't think that w-would be t-too great of an idea..." he said, obviously scared out of his flesh of other people.
"Uh, yeah. My best friend, my sister and another one of my friends. Is there a problem?" John's face showed genuine concern. Very genuine. He's a great person, unlike me, Karkat thought.
"N-no p-problem. No problem at all..."
"Well, that's great," then the bell rang. "Well, I'll see ya 'round 'kay?"
"O-okay..."
That day went grudgingly until lunch. Karkat got in line, only to be greeted by a very threatening face. Dave Strider, even though he didn't know him at the time, look menacing. He could tell he was leering at him, even behind those pitch-black shades. Not only that, he was the most popular kid in the entire school, so that was even more disturbing.
Karkat's face showed fear, and Dave smirked. He adjusted his hair, and grabbed his tray. He picked up his lunch, Karkat following suit. When Karkated exited the lunch line, he squinted, looking mostly for John's noticeably nerdy glasses and buck teeth. He eventually found John waving at him. He hid his face from everyone else, trying not ro be noticed. It, visibly, wasn't working.
"Hey, Karkat!" John greeted, cheerful as ever.
"H-hi John," Karkat greeted back, sitting down. "This cafeteria is huge compared to my last school. How do you with s-so many p-people..."
"It helps when you have the most popular guy in school as your best friend," John said casually.
"Wh-what?" Karkat was completely confused. He attempted to put the pieces together, but before he managed it, John got up and started waving again.
"Wh-what are you doing?! D-don't you know not t-to draw attention to yourself?!" Karkat whisper-yelled.
"Dave! Dave! Over here!" John called.
Karkat put his face in his arms, wanting to hide away from the world. His social anxiety getting the better of his emotions at the moment. He emitted a low growl.
"'Sup?" came an unfamiliar voice. "What's with the pip-squeak?" it asked.
"Karkat is not a pip-squeak. He's my new homeroom buddy," defened John. At least he had one new friend here.
"Hey, Kitkat," the voice said. "Wake up."
"I'm not asleep," Karkat said.
"Well at least properly introduce yourself."
Karkat groaned. He got up to meet face-to-face to smug, leering shit he met in line. There came the fear again. Even though this time this 'Dave,' had a vacant expression, he was still afraid just from that encounter.
"Oh, hey. You're the kid I met in line. Sorry if I scared you a bit, that's usually a normal reaction."
"N-normal?! As in, that happens o-often?" Karkat was a bit ticked.
"Hey, no need to lose your shit. I'm Dave Strider, and what's your name again? Kitkat, was it."
"I'm Karkat Vantas."
"Heh, sorry. I forget names easily. Especially if they're different from the names of people I usually encounter."
"It's okay, i-it's kinda normal for p-people to get my name wr-wrong..."
"What's with the stutter? No need to be nervous."
"I-I'm always a bit on edge..."
"Ah."
The conversation was left there, and the air went stale. John broke the unbearable silence. "Here comes Jade and Rose!" he said, as Karkat ate. Karkat turned around to get a look.
One was blonde, a skull-like thing on her t-shirt, a pink headband, nothing too abnormal.
The other had shiny, black hair, much like John's. She had round, rimmed glasses, and buck teeth. She had an atom on her shirt, and Karkat found an odd attraction to her.
Feeling an odd attraction to her, he turned back to his lunch, fearing they'd notice the elephant in the room - him - and be immediately disgusted. He was surprised he got John and Dave to be a bit passive with him. It would be much harder to get on their good sides. He'd never really gotten along with girls all that well.
Karkat stared at his lunch tray as he ate, afraid they'd point him out immediately as Dave had done. John and Dave greeted them and they all sat down. The black-haired girl sat in front of him, and John to his left.
"Uh, hello?" the black-haired girl said, and Karkat looked up. He could feel himself staring. Several seconds passed before she cleared her throat. Another several seconds passed beforw John nudged Karkat.
"Oh, uh, um, h-hi..." Karkat said, unable to keep himself from making an awkward greeting. He'd seen her around the hallways, and they'd called her name in most of his classes, so he didn't know how they hadn't already met.
"Heh, I'm Jade Harley! And you are...?" Jade said, making Karkat all the more afraid. She was as cheerful as John, but in her own, cute, way. Wait, what?
"I-I'm Karkat Vantas," he said, all the while cursing himself for stuttering.
"Oh, I haven't seen you before. Are you new to this school?"
"Yea..." he replied., picking at his food a bit.
"Well, it's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, too, Jade."
Did I just get through a sentence without stuttering? was his immediate thought. John elbowed Karkat's ribs. Karkat shot his eyes in John's direction. John wiggled his eyebrows up and down, and Karkat could feel his face getting hot. Was it that obvious, his slight attraction to Jade?
The bell rang, and Karkat went to throw away his tray. As he went up to the trash can, John grabbed his shoulder, ""Don't you know not to draw attention to yourself?!"" he said, mimicking Karkat's voice.
"Sh-shut the fuck up."
Finally, seventh period. He was ready for this shitty birthday to be over. It ended where it started, Ms. Linda's class, for science. John and Jade were both there, and John had appeared to have made another friend. Except, Karkat knew this girl from two moves ago.
Vriska fucking Serket. Elementary school bully. She'd been held back a year, making everyone she was in the same grade with vulnerable. However, he was her prime target. He thought he'd seen the last of her and her shit, but apparently fucking no. Not only that, his new friend had just made friends with her. Great, now she'd act all nice while John was round and then make threats towards Karkat while he was away. Just. Fucking. Peachy.
"Uh, hey," Karkat interjected their conversation.
"Oh hey Karkat! I want you to meet Vrisk-"
"I already know her," Karkat interrupted impatiently.
"Oh. Well, that makes sense. She said she knew a Vantas, but wasn't sure if you were the same one. So how did you meet?"
"Fourth grade," Vriska said. She answered with perfect accuracy, smirking, obviously pleased that she'd have a target now. "We were the best of friends."
"Far from it, bitch," Karkat said coldly. "We were the very opposite, you were a bully, and I the victim."
"Well, it's nice to see you don't hold a grudge to that."
"I don't, I just know you're a bitch."
"Why I should-"
"Vriska," John said.
"I don't give a fuck, John. This little pussy has it coming."
"Vriska," John put simply.
"Ugh, fine. I won't destroy him this time."
"Thank-you. I hate it when my friends fight."
Ms. Linda walked in the room. "Alright, class! Pair up!" she announced.
John paired up with - guess who - Karkat and Jade paired with Vriska. The rest of the class paired up, and everyone sat at a lab desk.
"Alright, I hope your happy with these partners, because next half I won't let you choose your partners, and I'll just assign them personally." The class chattered, unable to decide if it was good or bad with this happening. But, they'd at least enjoy the first eighteen weeks of school.
Today they started out with learning basics about the human body they hadn't learned last year. Then they'd move into basic mechanics, such as simple machines. Karkat was diligent with taking notes, and he was nice and shared them with John. The day finished with the announcements and busses getting called.
Karkat was silent the whole bus trip home. He opened his front door to find his brother Kankri was the only one home.
"What's up, Karcrap?" greeted Karkat.
"Oh, ha-ha. Where'd you get that one? Did you have to use the internet because you can't come up with adequate puns on my name that insult me at the same time? At least people at school can, and your a year older, so that's just sad," Karkat said smugly.
"I take it wasn't a very happy birthday?"
"When is it happy when you have to go to school on your birthday. Consider yourself lucky to 've been born on Christmas Break."
"I always do. That means double the presents on Christmas."
"Fuck you."
"Watch your mouth, little bro. We're gonna have a couple of parents home soon, so you might wanna keep your dirty mouth under control. How many new friends did ya make today?"
"Four, actually."
"Whoa-hoa. My brother's finally gotten over his social anxiety! This is the happiest day of my life!"
"Actually, one of the friends I'd made today introduced me to two other people."
"Oh. Well, ya got my hopes up for nothin'. So, anyone... familiar show up?"
"No, only Vriska Mindfuck Serket."
"Oh, that bitch... I was asking if you saw me today 'cause I was there to talk to some sixth-graders about bullying for the community service hours I need."
"No, I didn't. Sorry."
"It's cool, didn't figure you would. Just testing my luck."
"Hmm."
When Karkat got up to his room, he booted up his computer. Thank God for no homework during the first week. He got on Pesterchum to check his messages from Gamzee. None from him, but there was someone he'd been randomly matched with. "arsenicCatnip," was their tag. Oh, ha-ha, Pesterchum. More jokes at the suspense of his name. The message seemed to be pretty recent, as well. He decided, against better judgement, to open it.
The message read, ":33 uhm, hello?"
What an odd way to type something. Was that some kind of face of some sort? He could make out the cat face (thinking to the side that this person was obsessed with cats) but nothing else. He replied.
"HELLO," was all he said. He quickly opened up his contacts list, adding John, Jade, and Dave to it.
He recieved another message, again from arsenicCatnip. He supposed to just keep on that page and talk to them.
":33 im not really sure what to say, but my name is nepeta
:33 whats yours?"
"IM KARKAT"
":33 hehe, do mew mind if i just call you karkitty?
"OKAY?"
":33 nice to meet you, karkitty
:33 i have to go, talk to mew tomorrow"
"OKAY, BYE"
":33 bye"
The conversation was left there. He didn't seem half bad. Karkat thought it was a 'he' just because that's who he was used to dealing with. Little did he know, he'd be getting a whole different stoey later on.
The months dragged on. He talked more and more to Nepeta, who he referred to as AC in real life. He learned more about him, favorite shows, food, most embarassing moments. And AC learned the same about him. He usually was skeptical about talking to strangers online, but he figured it'd be someone to fall back on when things went to shit and none of his real life friends were around.
When Christmas Break was over, Karkat walked into science. He sat where he normally did and Ms. Linda was about to start rearranging everyone. Karkat sat on edge, hoping he wouldn't be paired with Vriska. Anyone, literally anyone but her... "Karkat Vantas, your partner is... Jade Harley." Karkat breathed a sigh of relief, thanking God at one time and cursing everything at the same time.
He was going to stutter, forget what he was saying, and just generally fuck up. He had to calm his nerves, as he'd be dealing with this for the next half of the school year. He should consider it a blessing, but because of his awkwardness, it was more of curse in his eyes. Dammit, fuck, shit, what the hell am I going to do?! his thoughts rang.
In truth, throughout the year to come he got to know Jade a bit better, and Jade got to know him. He figured out how to speak to her, and though his short temper, he was very patient with her. Everyone saw the obvious soft spot for her, but he didn't give a rat's ass. Everyone also saw how well they got along, and it was obvious Karkat did, too. So, on the last day of school, he proposed this to himself: tell her everything. Ask her out. They were great friends, and he really liked her. It wouldn't be that hard. Would it?
So, he sat in science and asked Jade: "Hey, um, could you meet me in the front of the school after class? There's somthing I, um, wanted to ask you."
"Oh, sure," Jade said, somewhat dismissively. However, she did keep her word.
"Uh, so, this is going to be difficult for me to ask, so just give me a bit, okay?" Karkat began.
"Okay," Jade replied, her full attention on Karkat.
"Uhm, so, I guess it's kind of obvious by this point, but, I really like you... Do you maybe, I dunno, wanna catch a movie or somethin' sometime?" Karkat, asked, fingers crossed, a worried smile plastered on his face.
Dave, however, had different plans on what was about to happen.
"Karkat, I-"
"Hey, you two. What's up?"
"Uh, um... Nothin' much. What's up with you?" Karkat smiled nervously. He wanted Jade to answer his question, and feared the answer. The suspension was not only killing us, but him, too. Though, you've probably already figured this out, haven't you. That's why writing stories is sometimes a bit un-fun, as the reader knows what's gonna happen next, as many people have already written similar stories in romance. It sucks the fun out of everything, dammit!
"Hey, Jade, there's something that's been on my mind lately..." Dave began.
OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, DO. NOT. FUCKING. SAY IT. STRIDER. Karkat's thoughts pounded against his skull.
"In truth, it's you, Harley. I guess, it's just I really like you. And I know, that's a bit of a tacky thing to say, especially coming from me, but you bring out what little emotion there is in me. The best and the worst. And I like that. Do you wanna go out sometime?"
TRAITOR, FUCKER, SON OF A BITCH, NONONONONONONONONONONONO... Karkat didn't dare speak his mind. That'd be undignified, and ruin his previously thought "chances" with Jade. Now that Strider had entered the picture, he was dead meat. Doomed to perpetual loneliness. Strider had everything he didn't.
He suave, popular, and self-confident. Karkat had no chance. He accepted death here, and now.
"Yes, Dave. I would like to take you up on that offer."
Karkat heard those words, and it was as if his thoughts flat lined... loser, no-life, hopeless, no chance and similar phrases were spelled out across his mind. Everyone in his past was right. He wouldn't make it in this world. If he couldn't talk to someone like Jade, he was more than that. He was flat-out doomed.
He scratched his neck, looking down at the ground, and he began his trudge home. He was about to get hounded by his brother, but he built the internal walls to hide his remorse on his way home.
When he returned, he was greeted at the door with "You're home late. What happened?"
"None of your business, Kankri. Leave me alone. Don't talk to me, don't look at me, and sure as hell don't bother me. I'm not in the mood to deal with your crap, and if anyone asks where I am, tell them I'm busy killing myself."
"Whoa, talk to me, buddy. I'm your brother, you can come to me with this."
"I don't want to talk, I want you to leave me the fuck alone!" Karkat yelled the last part, not giving a shit who heard. Kankri, on the other hand took it to heart. He looked at his brother, astonished that he'd just outburst like that. Something really bad must've happened, so it obviously wasn't some bully.
There is more to this story, but I want you to take a breather. A wild ride for Karkat, as he faces the adversity of being overshadowed, he develops and inferiority complex, knowing Strider will always be "the coolkid everyone loves" and he will remain "the runt no one cares about."
So take this time now, to grab your snacks, drinks, and get comfortable. You're in for one hell of a ride, and I don't think your ready. If your are ready now, then proceed.
Karkat ran up to his room, slammed the door, and locked it. He held his pillow tight, sobbing loudly into it, unable to stop the tears from flowing. He thought Strider was cool. He looked up to him. That all changed when he was fucking betrayed by that shithead of a "coolkid." His phone went crazy, ringing and ringing and ringing. Message after message was left for him from John, asking him to explain what happened. He'd learned about it quickly, as a few steps away from the now happy couple of Jade and Dave he'd began crying then, and ran way.
Jade told him, as she'd witnessed it. Karkat thought he slipped away unnoticed, but apparently not. He texted John, "I don't wanna talk, I just want you all to leave me the fuck alone right now."
John soon texted back, "KK, I think it'd be best if you told at least me, so I can help you."
"Fuck off, I don't wanna talk, I just wanna be alone. I thought I made my point fucking clear, but apparently fucking not." He wasn't in the mood to deal with shit. And he'd have a hard time covering it up for the next two years. But we're getting ahead of ourselves.
"Karkat, please. We just want to help."
"I don't need your fucking help. Now, FUCK. OFF."
Karkat's sobbing slowly intensifiied. He couldn't stop. Heartbreak was difficult, but especially when you knew you'd be living in the shadows of a traitor that had a hand in it. There would never be a chance for Karkat to overpower Dave in any way. He'd always be under Dave's ridicule. He was hopeless, doomed, and unable to cope properly.
Sobbing was more than a coping mechanism for him. It was also a way of letting go. But that didn't seem to work no matter how hard he tried. His boiling rage towards Strider was far from quenched, however. Just overshadowed be the utter heart-stomping that'd been unleashed upon him. It was as if Jade didn't care. As soon as Strider was involved, "oh hell, just drop everything and follow Dave. Doesn't matter who I hurt, just so long as I have him," or that's what Karkat thought anyways.
Then Karkat remembered. The knife in his drawer. It was supposed to be for safety, but it was now going to lead to his downfall. He rolled up his left sleeve, holding knife in his right. He cut once, relinquishing the pain. A second, relishing in it. A third, pushing his luck. This continued several times, on both arms. It felt good. Why? He thought the more physical pain he felt, the less internal pain he felt. This would more than likely continue for awhile.
He loved it. He felt better with every slit of his skin. But it was never enough. He'd be out drinking instead if he was of age, but for now, the knife would have to do. He continued cutting up his arms until there was no ground left to cover. He didn't bother bandaging any of it. It made the pain worse on the outside, but he felt better inside. He was becoming a monster.
This continued over the summer, and he'd even excused himself to the bathroom during graduation just to continue it. John had pestered him multiple times about everything while the ceremony dragged on. Karkat told him it didn't matter, as it was in the past, but John had sneaking suspicions that wasn't the case. When John figured out he'd skipped a whole grade, he nearly had a heart attack, though, and that shut him up.
After the ceremony, Jade had apologized, but in truth, that wasn't enough for Karkat. An apology was not about to fix his smashed heart and the scars on his arms. But, it was the only thing she could've really done.
After the summer was over Karkat began highschool. His fourteenth birthday, yet again the first day of shool. But he went in, still torn up about what'd happened. It wasn't something easily forgot. He walked into his new homeroom, Ms. Rita, to be greeted by - guess what - absolutely no one he fucking knew. Big suprise there, am I right?
After homeroom, he caught Dave and Jade in the halls. He stole a few glances at them and his heart tore further. They were still together. Still happy. And admittedly, he was happy Jade found someone she liked and could be hapoy with, but it still fucked with his mind that it was Strider and not him. Usually, a stony-cold outside, Strider was now visibly warm and open about his feelings. And John, well he was a grade ahead. There was no way Karkat'd see him again throughout school.
It broke his heart knowing that now there'd be no one left for him to talk to. No one left for him to gawk over. Out of all of his friends, he'd gotten the shortest end of the stick, but he wasn't about to show his heavy remorse to the world. First was PE. Dammit.
He headed off, looking one last time at Jade and Dave. But this time, something snapped. He saw the kiss Strider planted on her forehead, and his face fell. He lost all patience with anyone. They were about to know about the short end he'd gotten. They'd know damn well just how they'd made him feel. His heartbroken want - no, need - for someone to love hadn't been quenched. And now, since Strider came along, it never would be.
His heart twinged with every glance he stole of the two. The more he thought about how alone he was, the more it made him want to really use that knife. He was slowly spiraling into insanity, never to return from the deep end. His conversations with Nepeta drew deeper, longer, and one day she disappeared. It was a year later from the events I just explained, and this is truly what drove Karkat to his limit. He'd spend his PE period in the bottom of his locker, sobbing. He'd spend his time in the bathroom cutting himself. He'd spent his time at lunch alone, picking silently at his food.
And now, sixteen, he's truly reached the farthest insanity reaches. He wanted to take that knife and drag it across his throat. And he would've a year ago, had something not kept him from it. He couldn't tell what. Maybe a false sense of hope? A will to live? He didn't fucking know.
He heard a knock on his door. He was the only one in the house, so he went to open it. It was probably the new neighbors that'd moved. He was greeted by a girl about his age, his same pitch-black hair, wearing a green trench coat, Leo t-shirt, and an odd blue hat with a cat face on it with little ears and everything.
"Uh, can I help you?" he asked, not wanting to be in this situation.
"Uh, yes. Hi, My name's Nepeta and I just moved in next door. I just wanted to meet you, but if you're busy I can leave."
Karkat stopped listenting after "Nepeta." Could it be the same Nepeta" Only one way to find out.
"What's Karkitty's least favorite activity?" he blurted.
"Meeting new people," she answered.
Karkat stood there, astonished.
Oh boy!
Original Publishing Date: Jun 10, 2016; Unedited
*I am not planning on continuing this oneshot series, however I'm condensing them down into one story in case I do wish to continue at some point in the future*