A/N: I'm starting this chapter off with a dreamlike memory scene of her and Ned. Enjoy :) xx Mariah
Ned looked at himself in the mirror, brushing back his hair with his comb. He straightened his collar and buttoned his jacket before he walked into their bedroom.
"Don't you know you're not supposed to put on lipstick before your fiancé has had the chance to properly ravage you?" He said, fixing his cuffs.
She turned her head, her hair spilling over her shoulder as she smiled at him. "That's precisely why I put it on," she laughed, tucked the tube away in her clutch. "We have plans, remember?"
"I do," he shrugged, his hand holding onto the back of the chair as he leaned down to kiss her. He stopped right before her lips to brush his other hand against her cheek. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you," she blushed, leaning to press her lips against his.
She could fix her lipstick if she needed to.
They had just moved in together a few months ago when Katie transferred home her junior year. At first, Ned's apartment was all they needed, but they had began looking at houses now that they were engaged and Ned had been trying to talk her into a fixer-upper.
God, he was just like her father sometimes, but as much as building their house together sounded fun, with her schooling and student teaching it just wasn't the best idea to be coming home to an unfinished house. Ned's hours were getting longer too, so he sadly agreed.
Katie smiled as he pulled back, his hands grasping her hips. "If we start something now, Officer Banks, I'm going to lose all motivation to go to this thing and we're just going to have to spend the night holed away in our bedroom."
"Sneaky girl," he grinned, leaning against the chair to trail his lips down her neck, along the curve of her bare shoulder, before helping her up from the chair and turning her around in his arms. "Let me really look at you."
She stepped away from him and put her hands on her hips, posing playfully. He shook his head, his gaze hungry as his eyes raked up and down her figure. She glanced down at the strapless, knee-length red evening gown that her mom helped pick out and she had to admit that it fit her like a second set of skin.
"You are gorgeous," he moaned, pulling her back to him.
"Thank you," she blushed.
His hand moved up and down her back. "With you on my arm I'm going to be the envy of every man tonight." He said matter-of-factly.
Smacking him playfully on the arm, she grinned, kissing him punctually before laughing.
When Ned had first mentioned the annual staff holiday party in November, Katie hadn't really been all that enthusiastic about it. Black-tie affairs were just not her scene and after a long week of student teaching, she preferred spending her Saturday nights at home, picking her way through Netflix or maybe soaking in a bath with a good book and a glass of wine. but Ned never fought fair.
He had brought it up again after arriving home from a family filled Thanksgiving weekend. As they laid on the couch together, sharing a glass of wine, he had nuzzled her neck and sucked on her earlobe, murmuring how nice it will be for him to show off his new fiancé at the party.
She'd never been one for getting dressed up and going out. Not that she didn't like to look nice, but standing in front of a room of ten-year-olds all day was easier when not done in painful high heels. She barely had enough fancy dresses in her wardrobe for dinner at an expensive restaurant, let alone a staff party filled with police officers.
He hadn't balked at that excuse either. He had insisted they go find a dress together and at the third boutique (she had begun thinking that he was just enjoying watching her model gown after gown) his jaw had dropped and his eyes had darkened, and his voice had been thick with lust when he nearly panted, "That's the one."
They had ran into her mother and his at the food court. Melinda had been the one who actually gave her the dress.
Katie and Ned had barely made it to the car before he drove them to a secluded corner of the mall's parking garage and enthusiastically made love to her in the backseat.
That had sparked her interest for after the party. She knew that she could get away with drinking champagne and dancing with him at the party and that was all she needed to excite her for before.
But after a wine filled conversation with Hannah, she made a little pit stop on her way home from school and she had decided to keep the contents of the little Victoria's Secret bag a secret, stashing it under their bed where she assumed he wouldn't look.
A frisson of excitement slithered down her spine at the thought of what she was wearing under the clingy red gown. She felt his warm lips probing the skin below her earlobe, and she swatted at him again.
"C'mon," she said, lifting his chin with one finger to force him to look at her. "Not fair to start something you can't finish."
He exhaled loudly and she smiled coyly when she reached down between them to squeeze the prominent bulge in his tuxedo pants as she walked past him.
"You're mine at midnight," he growled, pinning her with his eyes when he turned and grabbed her wrap from the back of the chair.
He draped it over her shoulders and kissed her jaw gently.
"Who am I, Cinderella?" She teased, shaking her head. "Does that make you my fairy godfather?"
He shrugged on his coat and he wrapped an arm around her as they exited their apartment.
"I guess you'll have to wait until twelve to see what kind of things I can do with my magic wand." He winked at her and her stomach knotted with excitement as the chilly late December air stung her cheeks and they made their way across the icy parking lot to his car.
She shivered as she slid into the passenger seat; the fabric of her gown offered little warmth against the cold leather. Her body shuddered and an audible 'brr' trilled from her lips. He gave her a sympathetic smile as he gunned the engine, and he flicked on the heated seat switch.
"My goodness is it cold," she groused, rubbing her arms as she buckled up. "Is it spring yet?"
"There's still a foot of snow on the ground, babe. I think you'll be waiting a long time for spring." He chuckled and turned onto the highway. "A long, long time."
"Don't remind me," she sighed, sitting back into the seat.
"This car warms up fast," he said fidgeting with the dial again, but quickly resuming his attention to the oad. He settled in his seat and smiled at her. "Don't worry."
She pivoted in her seat, watching the way her gown laid with the seatbelt in place. The fabric wasn't one that would wrinkle too easily, but she didn't want to take any chances for what she had in mind. She stretched over the console and cupped the back of his neck tenderly, combing her fingers through his hair.
"I can think of a faster way to warm up," she purred, reaching down to press her hand against his thigh she licked her lips.
"Weren't you the one telling me not to start something?" He chuckled.
"Mhmm," she agreed, moving her hand up toward his groin. "But I don't have to follow my own rules all the time."
She lets her tongue dart out to lick the curve of his ear before tugging on the lobe with his teeth while her hand worked at the fly of the pants. She sighed triumphantly when she slid the zipper down.
"Katie…" He warned, his breath catching on the last syllable of her name. He could barely concentrate on the road, his hands gripping the wheel as he looked down at her hand.
"Just keep your eyes on the road," she whispered, pressing a kiss against his jaw. Katie had never been more thankful for matte lipstick. She didn't have to worry about staining his face with lipstick. She pulled his head back up and he tired to concentrate on the road as she slipped her hand into his pants, working his erection free.
She let her hand glide up and down a few times, priming him and then she dipped her head to take him into her mouth. Normally she'd take her time teasing him, but it's a short drive to their destination.
Low moans rumbled in his throat and he whispered his encouragement as her head bobbed up and down eagerly. He reached to gently grasp her hair, which flowed over her shoulders.
He slowly began to speed down the road, his eyes almost closing as she moved off of him, kissing his thigh as he hand grasped his erection.
"Katie…god I'm so close." He said, turning the blinker on. He slowed down and she licked up his shaft, kissing his tip. He barely remembered turning into the convention center's parking lot as his head lulled back.
"I know," she giggled, taking him back into her mouth.
"Fuck, babe…now." He said, gripping the steering wheel as he slowly pulled into a parking spot.
He practically slammed his truck into park, leaning back into his seat. His hand met with her hair as he came, grasping his hair. She removed her tongue from him before tucking him back in his pants and zipping him back up.
"Good lord," he breathed, watching her lick her lips before kissing him. "I fucking love you." He whispered as she pulled back. "And not just for this stuff. I love you for everything."
"I know," she leaned up against him, playfully kissing his lips. "But this helps?"
"Definitely," his hand moved up he back as she leaned into him.
She grinned and pulled down the visor, flipping up the panel to expose the lighted mirror so she could reapply her lip gloss and check her make-up once she pulled away.
"Just a little taste of what's to come later tonight." She glided the wand around her mouth once, checked the mirror again, and pursed her lips at him playfully. "I fucking love you too baby."
He shook his head at her as he turned the car off. "I am a lucky, lucky man." He muttered, her ring catching in the moonlight. "Thank you for saying yes." He held her hand then, smiling at her.
"Why would I ever say no?" She smiled at him, leaning across the console to cup his face and kiss him. "Twelve year old me is disappointed." She laughed then, kissing his cheek, his neck.
"I don't know," he sighed, laughing slightly kissed his throat last. "I was worried. Are you sure about the no tie?"
"Yes. You look great," she reassured him, pulling back just as she winked at him.
He stole another kiss from her before he exited the truck and helped her out on his side. She smoothed out her gown while she grabbed her clutch off the seat. He closed the door as she slipped her arm around him. He nuzzled her neck and pressed a kiss to her cheek as they walked toward the steps or the conference center. He pushed the revolving door, tugging her flush against him in the tiny vestibule and nipping at her neck once more.
"It's only a couple of hours. It means so much to me that you're with me tonight, Katie." He said, smiling at her. "I don't like these events any more than you do."
She smiled at him as they stepped into the building, and immediately she looked around the room. She couldn't imagine the hours of work it took to convert the usually stark, dour conference room to the shimmering, glittering winter wonderland spread out before them.
He gently squeezed her shoulders, then took her wrap and removed his coat, pressing a kiss to her temple and telling her to wait for him while he checked their things. She nodded and moved away from the door a little so she wouldn't block anyone from coming in.
Above her head, chandeliers had been hung and strung to look like icicles. Fiber-optic trees in varying hues of blue and silver twinkled on and off, and the double staircase gave way to a landing that's been transformed into a miniature skating rink—likely as much to deter party-goers from exploring the upper floors of the museum without permission, as it is for ambiance.
"Definitely going in my journal tonight," she muttered under her breath.
"Did you want to stick this in your bag or should I put it in my pocket?" He said reappearing.
She glanced at Ned, who was at her side again holding the coat claim ticket in his left hand. She arched a brow at him, smiling. "If you stick it in here," she said knowing there was a hole in this pocket. "You might lose it. There are holes in most of your pockets. I'll just take it." With a smile, she jammed the ticket into her clutch.
"You really do look gorgeous, Katie," he murmured and winded an arm around her waist, his fingers curling around her hip possessively as someone checked her out.
"You clean up nicely yourself," she replied, her fingers toying with the short hairs on the nape of his neck.
He grinned and ushered her into the ballroom and she spied some kind of a makeshift bar that dominated the entire western wall.
A server dressed in white walked by, a tray of champagne flutes held above his head, and he motioned to him to hand them two. She smiled and clinked her glass against his, then took a sip, the effervescent bubbles dancing along her tongue. It's good champagne, much better than the cheap stuff she was used to drinking.
The evening is a blur of introductions, polite smiles and handshakes as Ned networks easily with the other police officers from the other precincts where he's hoping for a permanent position. She reveled in how charming he was to the out of town chief's wives and he had more than a few older ladies giggling and blushing with his pretty words.
He also pulled her out onto the dance floor after they've eaten and again several times when the conversations he got roped into politics or police bureaucracy. She noticed how he deftly managed to avoid those conversations. Always the peacemaker, her fiancé.
As she swayed in her fiancé's arms, she noted with amusement how much younger he was than nearly every other officer and detective in the room and she felt a sense of pride in how much he'd accomplished at his age. She was still not sure how she managed to land herself a man like Ned Banks, but she'd never been happier.
"What's that smile for?" he whispered, the heat of his breath hitting the shell of her ear, and a pleasant shudder courses through her.
"Oh, just admiring the hottest guy at the party," she replied.
He narrowed his eyes jokingly and scanned the room. "Where is he?"
She slapped his arm and he laughed, tugging her against him again, kissing her. He still tasted of expensive the scotch that he'd had with the head chief of the district. "Ned?"
They both turned towards the voice, and Ned's eyes widened imperceptibly.
"Chief, good evening," he said. He shook the man's hand and smiled at Katie. "This is my fiancée, Katherine. I don't believe you've had a chance to meet her yet since you've transferred in."
Joshua LeTrai raised her hand to his lips, a decidedly old-fashioned, but somewhat endearing gesture, and his pale eyes twinkled with mirth. "Ms. Clancy, congratulations on your engagement." The man said with a smile. "Your last name precedes you. Tell your father I say hello."
"I will. Thank you," she said politely, looking to Ned.
"I'd hate to interrupt your dance, but I'd like to borrow your fiancé for a little while." LeTrai chuckled, looking at Ned. "We shouldn't be long."
Ned caressed her hip and when she looked to him, she saw a muddling of curiosity and trepidation etched on his face.
What did his boss want to talk to him about?
"This must be important," he said in a hushed tone, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "So why don't you go explore? I'll come track you down when I've finished."
"You boys have fun," she said, hugging him as she slid out of his arms.
"Thank you for understanding." The man smiled at her then winks conspiratorially.
The gesture assured her anxiety for Ned and he leaned down to claim her mouth in a quick, sweet kiss before the chief lead him away, their heads bowed in immediate conversation.
She snatched another flute of champagne and tracked down some horderves. She'd found a plate and and grabbed herself a few cheese puffs and a slice of cheesecake as she exited the ballroom, wandering from wing to wing. The party seemed to have leaked into every room on the lowest floor of the convention center. Everywhere she walked, elegantly dressed people were mingling, talking and laughing.
When she pulled her cell phone from her clutch to peer at the time, she's startled to see that almost an hour has passed, and she wondered if Ned was still speaking with LeTrai. She tapped out a quick text, figuring at the very least he'd feel the vibration in his pocket and whenever he had a free moment he'd get back to her.
December 18th, 11:12 pm - [Katie]
Hope your talk is going well. I'm waiting for you.
It took several minutes for her clutch to jump under her arm and she grabbed her phone from it again, reading his reply.
December 18th, 11:17 pm - [Ned]
Very well actually but I'm done now. I'm yours for the rest of the night. Where are you?
She stared at that last sentence and it kindled a spark of inspiration in her. She bit her lip, typing out her reply
December 18th, 11:17 pm - [Katie]
Come and find me.
She drank the last bit of the champagne she had, setting it on a passing by tray as she walked through the room. Her phone vibrated and she peeked at his reply, rolling her eyes.
December. 18th, 11:18 pm - [Ned]
Give me a hint.
December. 18th, 11:19 pm - [Katie]
I don't feel like it. Come find me…
Her phone fell silent and flutters of anticipation fanned out through her belly, down to her abdomen, resonating in a dull but sweet ache between her legs. She rushed from the room, glancing down the corridor until her eyes landed on a little blue icon mounted above a door. Pushing the door open, she slipped inside the bathroom.
A woman was at a sink and she smiled as she checked her makeup, setting her phone on the small counter. She grabbed it before entering the stall, once safely inside she lifted one leg and precariously balanced it on the edge of the toilet seat, allowing her to hitch up her gown just enough to reveal the lacy edge of her stockings and the clip of the garter belt. Angling her phone down, she pushed the camera icon and snapped a picture of her leg, careful to keep the rest of the scenery out of the frame, then sent it off to him.
December 18th, 11:23 pm - [Ned]
I've been thinking about what's under that dress all night ;) You never cease to stop surprising me baby.
December 18th, 11:23 pm - [Katie]
Well you should know that that's all that's under this dress…
December 18th, 11:23 pm - [Ned]
When I find you I'm gonna rip those stockings off of you. You can buy another pair.
December 18th, 11: 24 pm - [Katie]
Only if you use your teeth.
December 18th, 11:26 pm - [Ned]
Goddamn what has gotten into you tonight?
December 18th, 11:26 pm – [Katie]
Not you yet. So stop stalling and start looking.
December 18th, 11:26 pm - [Ned]
A clue would be nice…
She lowered her gown back to the floor and tucked her clutch under her arm, exiting first the stall then the ladies' room. She sauntered up the corridor, pausing by the west wing staircase, which had been roped off.
After considering it for about two seconds, she shook her head. She couldn't risk doing anything that could get Ned in serious trouble, but her body was strung like a wire, fraying a little more each second, waiting to snap. There had to be someplace here that was private enough to hide them for a little while. She'd never make it home with how badly she wanted him right now.
Her eyes landed on a service elevator at the end of the corridor a moment later. Intrigued, she stalked towards it, sucking in a quick breath when she pressed the button and the doors part. Her heart skipped a beat as she stepped inside and the doors closed.
December 18th, 11:26 pm - [Katie]
That's not how I played Hide and Seek but okay…a hint…How about what goes up…
December 18th, 11:26 pm - [Ned]
Something else is going up right now…
She laughed softly and leaned against the elevator's rear wall. She was not sure how many elevators there were in the museum, but she ventured that most of the standard ones were not in service tonight, much like how the staircases had been blocked off.
December 18th, 11:26 pm - [Katie]
I can't wait to get that 'something else' in my mouth. Again. I can still taste you on my tongue and I need more.
She awaited a reply, but her phone stayed quiet. Knitting her brows, she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth.
December. 28th, 10:29 pm - [Katie]
You're not very good at this game, officer. Looks like I'll have to play alone.
She got the camera prepped again and hitched her gown up around her waist, slipping her left hand down between her legs. With a soft laugh, she took the picture and sent it off.
Just as she started to removed her hand from the juncture of her thighs, she felt her phone plucked from her other hand and she inhaled sharply when the doors—which she never even heard open—glided shut.
"Found you. Looks like I'm better at this game than you thought, hmm?" He trapped her with his darkened gaze, pinning her against the wall. "Don't you dare take your hand away."
"Okay," she stammered, tendrils of lust curling through her. "I won't."
She loved it when he took control like this. The way he's looking at her flooded her with more heat and her breath hitched in her throat when he slid his suit jacket off and stepped towards her. "I think you should get out of that dress," he murmured, taking his watch off and tossing it on top of his jacket as he maneuvered his belt off too. "Even if it's not midnight yet."
"It's almost midnight," she laughed. Licking her her lips. She shrugged, suddenly wishing he had a tie on that she could pull him close with. "I can make an exception for you."
He reached around her waist, his fingers climbing her spine to locate the tiny hook at the top of the zipper on he dress. He hovered inches from her mouth, and when he managed to undo the hook and drag down the zipper, she swallowed as the gown pooled around her feet. Her nipples immediately stiffened as they're exposed to the air and his eyes darted down to confirm that other than the tiny black garter belt and lace stockings, she was completely naked—no undergarments at all.
He coaxed her to raise her feet one at a time so that he could remove her heels and he tossed them aside like his jacket, then he nipped a path up one calf, stopping when he reaches the scalloped edge of the stocking. With a wolfish grin, he took the elastic between his teeth and tried to work it free.
She watched him, wide-eyed, her hand frozen between her legs and his smile turned sheepish as he looked up again.
"This is not as easy as I hoped it would be." He chuckled.
"Use your hands then," she urged, hearing the raw desire choking his voice. "I want you."
"You too," he suggested, freeing one strap, then the other. He peeled the garter belt down, bumping her hand as he did and he glanced up at her. A needy whimper leaped from her throat as she touched herself, her head resting against the wall as they both groaned approval. "I like these," he said, gently snapping the stockings. "I might have to leave them on."
"Mmm…okay," she murmured, closing her eyes and tipping her chin up as his lips started to blaze a trail along her inner thighs, inching closer to where was contently touching herself.
"You look so fucking hot right now," he moaned against her skin, licking up her leg. She keened softly again and feels the heat migrating through her belly, the sweet ache building with each revolution of her fingers. "I love watching you touch yourself. But—" he gripped her wrist and yanked her hand away. "I'm going to be the only one who makes you come tonight, my love."
She clamped down on her bottom lip hard enough to draw blood when he sucked the swollen bundle of nerves into his mouth, flicking out his tongue over it sporadically. The metallic taste danced across her tongue when she licked her lips to soothe the sting.
"Oh, yes," she moaned, grasping his hair.
"Say it," he pulled back, his fingers meeting where his mouth was.
"Say what," she moaned, looking down at him.
"You're my girl," he smiled as she rocked her hips into his hand, whimpering when the pleasure becomes too much. Ned had to steady her as her knees buckled and her body trembled. That lazy, sated feeling claimed her limbs, and her shoulders sagged. She was still seeing flashes of neon pink and orange when she opened her eyes and saw his satisfied smirk.
"I'm your girl Ned," she said, flashing her ring as he kissed her.
He licked her arousal from his lips and pushed his pants off, watching her with a predatory gleam. Her nipples stiffened again under his heated glare and her pulse never got the chance to resume its resting rate. He shuffled forward, pants pooled around his ankles and fused his mouth to hers.
"Are you sure we—?" she murmured against his lips.
"Yes, no one is going to find us," he promised, picking her up and pinning her to the wall.
She wrapped her legs around him and her back climbed the wall when he thrusted into her. She didn't think she'd ever tire of that feeling when he first pushed inside her, stretching her, claiming her, filling her completely, or the exquisite look that dominates his features when he gazed at her in drunken lust.
Their mouths countered the frantic pace at which he pumped into her with slow, sensual movements, their tongues mating languidly. Her palm splayed up and down his back, while one of his hands curls around her hip. His grunts were lost in the warm crevices of her mouth until buried his face in her neck, his hips starting to falter in their rhythmic thrusts.
She nods mutely and heat flooded her neck where he cried her name against her skin.
"Jesus, Katie…fuck," he swore again, dragging his fingers across her abdomen up to the small of her back.
"Shh, it's oh—" The last syllable suck in her throat when her orgasm crashed through her.
He acquiesced and held her tightly for a few moments while they both recovered.
"This…" he finally slipped out of her and rose her chin to look into her eyes, "Is by far… the best work function I've ever gone to."
"Well, I'll just have to find a way to top it next year then, won't I?" She panted.
"Mmm, next year at this time you'll be my wife," he whispered, tilting her neck slightly to descend on her lips for a kiss. He released her, an impish smile creasing his eyes. "And by then, I'll have my shield."
"What?" she shrieked, clapping a hand over her mouth when she realized how high-pitched and loud the noise was. "Babe, oh my god! Is that what he wanted to talk to you about?"
"The board will make it official when they meet at their next executive meeting. I'll be one of six detectives in the precinct." He replied. "I should have my job by next month."
"I'm so proud of you!" She cried, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly on the lips. "We have to celebrate!"
"Isn't that what we just did?" He chuckled and brushed his nose along her cheek.
"Yes, but… we need to celebate with everyone." She smiled at him. "Looks like Josh wants to keep you around…"
"Yeah. Some of the wives were bragging about me and he wanted to make sure I knew I would always have a spot on the team in Grandview, if I ever did want to leave."
She shook her head and slipped her arms around his neck. "Oh no. We're fine right here in Grandview."
"That's what I told him," he said, kissing her before she could say anything else. He pulled back a moment last. "And he told me that my shield was on the table."
"Wonderful," she smiled at him. "I'm so proud of you, but we should get dressed. This was just the beginning. I'm holding you to that midnight promise. We'll go back out there, dance a little more, mingle a little more, but at twelve o'clock we are out of here and we're going to celebrate all…" she pecked his lips again, "…Night…" Another peck. "…Long."
"You won't hear me complaining." Ned's fingers ghosted along Katie spine and he laughed huskily again as she pulled back the final time. "I love you Katie."
"I love you too," she whispered and smiled at him. "Now let's get dressed and back to this party."
Katie slowly lifted her heavy eyelids and as the strong smell of anti-bacterial cleaner filled her nose, she winced. Her mouth was dry and she smacked her lips a few times. She was laying down, in a bed, and the room was bright.
The light from the window reflecting off the white walls made her want to close her eyes again. She felt like she had slept for years, but she was still tired. She could hear the beeping of sometime and slowly turned her head toward the source of the noise, seeing the wires that ran to different machines. The muscles in her neck were stiff and sore, she nearly cried at the pain of moving them. She groaned, turning her head the other way and closing her eyes as a light shined in her eyes.
"Katie?"
It was the soft voice of her mother. One she knew all too well. She focused her eyes on her, trying to readjust to the brightness of the room too.
"Mom," she whispered and rubbed her eyes. Her body ached as she laid in bed. She still hadn't gotten her stitches out, that was for sure, and it burned through her. "I'm in pain… where's the button?"
"Oh Katie.. you're awake," Melinda said in a hushed tone. The baby in her arms stirred as she sat up. "Oh it's okay… it's okay baby girl." Melinda gave her the remote to her bed and pressed the purple medication button for her. "Do you wanna sit up?"
"Yes please," she groaned, feeling her body stretch as the bed moved her into an upright position. "Hi mom," her mother's hand touched hers and she cried at the sensation of feeling again. "It's so nice to feel you."
Her fingers traces across her mother's palm nd she felt her mother's hand come to touch her face as she closed her eyes.
"It's so nice to see you," Melinda sighed, smiling down at the newborn as she stirred a little, her little hand squeezing her mother's finger. "Would you like to meet your new sister?"
Katie opened her eyes, lookign at the baby snug in her mother's arms. She almost didn't trust herself, but Melinda easily transferred the baby into her arms and Katie held the newborn snug to her chest.
"I saw Charlie," she couldn't help but think of her son as the newborn rested against her. Her sister was calm, content with looking at her big sister with wide blue eyes. "Andrea brought him into the light." Katie smoothed her finger across the baby's cheek. She was so new, so pink and small. "What's her name?"
"Emma Faith," Melinda said, smiling at her girls. She sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at her oldest daughter, looking down at her youngest. "Katie, that couldn't have been easy for you."
"Emma is a pretty name," she cooed, kissing the baby's forehead. "A pretty name for a pretty girl. She so beautiful mom." She turned to her mother then, a sad smile on her face. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done, it was like he was alive." Her words caught in her throat as she passed Emma back to her mother. Tears rolling down her cheeks as she laid back into the bed. "He had my eyes. Ned's green kind of pooled in there too, but mom. I didn't want to let him go."
"No one wants to let the child they lost go," Melinda says, looking down at Emma. "You can only make room for better things after. Like this little one. She looks a lot like Kenzie, doesn't she?" Melinda suggested, smiling at Katie.
She turned her head back over, shrugging. "Kind of," she whispers. "I remember when I first saw Mackenzie. She was so early and small. I thought I was gonna break her when I held her little hand in the NICU. And dad pointed out that she had that birthmark on her foot and Aaron said it looked like a unicorn."
Melinda laughed, remembering that day very well. It had been so stressful and quick. One second she was on bed rest because of high blood pressure and the next she was in labor, at eight months and being rushed into surgery.
"I think she needs a new diaper," Melinda said softly as she stood. "I'll be right back. Will you be okay alone? I can just have a nurse do it."
"I'll be fine," she nodded, waving her off. "I promise."
"If you say so," Melinda sighed, closing the door behind her. "There is a bag of stuff for you on your tray. Ned brought it by."
Katie looked around the plain hospital room, sighing as she saw the bag. What had Ned brought by?
She pulled out a book, one of from nightstand. She saw her journal and pen and even her favorite moisturizer and nail file. Even a blue nail polish, but that definitely had to be Mackenzie.
It wasn't long before there was a knock on her door.
"Can I come in?" Ned said, sticking his head open. "Hey beautiful. You're awake."
She laughed. It was a magical sound coming from her. "Hey baby," she said, looking up from the nail polish. "Where did you get this?"
"Mackenzie," he said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. "You parents were worried about telling her, but she was okay. She painted your nails one day and wanted you keep the color in case you liked it when you woke up."
"I do like it," she looked at the dark blue on her nails and smiled. She didn't know how much longer she could go on looking at him without apologizing. She could see the way he crept around her, wanting to hold her hand, but not wanting to upset her. "Ned?"
"Yeah," his eyes fixated off her hand and to her eyes.
"I'm sorry that you had to find me like that," she closed her eyes, not having the strength to look at him as she cried. Her tears spilled and as her chin trembled, she held her hand near her mouth to try and hide it. "I'm really sorry Ned."
Neither of them said anything after that.
What could he say? Nothing he could say would equal up to what she was experiencing.
And what could she say? Nothing she could say would make up for he went through when he'd found her.
She stayed silent, watching him.
"Finding you in the bathroom like that Katie…" he sighed and held her hand tightly. 'You looked so helpless and frail. Why didn't you come to me?" He replied, his voice breaking.
"It wasn't the first time I'd thought about it," she whispered, shaking her head. "You were always there before... if I had that thought… I'd find your hand and remember what it was like to feel something... but that one time when I needed you the most, you weren't there. And that's not your fault." She paused, choking of her tears. "You didn't know. And I'm sorry… I'm so sorry Ned."
"Hey..." He pulled her into his arms. "We should've been communicating more."
"I-I'm so sorry." She whimpered and pulled him closer, tucking her face into his neck. "I love you so much."
"Stop apologizing. You're gonna be okay now babe, and that's all that matters." He replied, kissing her cheek. "I love you so much too."