Chapter 4

Twenty minutes later, Jesse was coming to realize how thankful he was that he'd had sons instead of daughters. He sat on the floor of Jake's cabin with a sobbing young woman in his arms as she cried all of her sorrows out against his shoulder. He had pulled the gun away from under her chin in time but she had collapsed as if in a faint. In that second it took her weight to bear them to the floor she seemed to come back to her senses somewhat and she began to fight him though he held onto her, not letting go.

He could hear the fear in her voice of not knowing who was holding onto her. He'd had to repeat his name over and over again to her, calling out her name and telling her to calm down. Jesse knew he didn't dare let go of her for fear she'd take off and do something foolish to cause further harm to herself in the state she was in. Finally she seemed to remember who he was and had burst into hysterics, her whole body going limp and her face pressed against his shoulder.

He did what he felt was right by simply holding her gently and letting her cry herself out. Those first few minutes had been the worst. It was the kind of crying that could have ripped the heart out of anyone. The sound of mourning, of loss, the kind that spoke of a pain that was soul deep, of desperation and fear, sorrow and the desire to just give up completely.

After that, she began babbling in between sobs in broken sentences about how she had been so stupid to come here, what was she thinking, she couldn't survive up here, how was she going to fix all of this up with what little she had left, what was she going to live off of and on and on. It all tumbled out in half broken sobs as Jesse simply held her and stroked her hair, one hand patting her back absently. Until she calmed down, there was no sense in trying to make heads or tails of what she was saying.

Finally, when his back began to really hurt from sitting in one position for too long and the strain it had taken upon her collapse to the floor, she began to calm down to where there were only little hitching sobs now and then. He felt her begin to pull away and he released her so not to make her feel trapped. He took a good look at her and saw her face was blotchy red and her eyes swollen from crying.

She wiped her nose absently on the sleeve of her jacket and snuffled as she pulled away and sat up, her face beginning to flush a deep red from perhaps shame or embarrassment. Reaching into his coat, Jesse pulled out a hanky.

"Here," he said quietly, in a soothing voice.

As she took it, he reached into the other inside pocket of his coat and fished around for the other item he sought. She turned her back on him a little and he heard her blow her nose and saw her arms move as she wiped at her eyes a little. There was the sound of a little hiccup.

Pulling the flask out of his jacket pocket, he nudged her with it. "Take this. Drink some of it. It'll help dull the edges."

Clara turned to look at him again, red swollen eyes still looking defeated. She looked at the flask and then back up at him, "But…," she tried to protest.

Jesse shook his head and stood. "Come on Clara. I'm going to take you back to my cabin. I think you could use a hot shower, a warm bed and some time to regroup. I don't usually abide in drinking this stuff straight but have a few swigs. It'll help dull the edges a little. I get a feeling you're probably a bit raw mentally and spiritually. This will help till we can get you back to the cabin…"

She blinked, "We?" she asked, taking the flask finally and slowly twisting the cap off of it before sniffing at it.

Jesse smiled. Even as upset as she was, she caught the person change in his speech. "Yes. My youngest son Cody is bringing your supplies from out of the tree. Your spare horse showed up at our place sometime last night. We stabled him and brought one of our pack horses, followed the tracks back to your cold camp and saw your gear up in the tree. He stayed to get it down and pack it up then followed me here."

Clara blinked at him in confusion for a moment, her mind trying to work through what he'd just said and then looked past him as a shadow moved outside. She caught a glimpse of a young man leading another horse just past the door. Her eyes went back to Jesse and then to the flask. Tipping it up, she took the first of the prescribed swigs and gave a little cough after she swallowed.

Nodding in satisfaction, Jesse walked over and picked up the small caliber gun he'd gotten away from her and set the safety, then cleared the round in the chamber. Not saying anything, he tucked it into his waistband, pocketed the unspent round and policed the spent shell casing off the floor.

Clara took a second swallow and then put the cap back on the flask as she grimaced when it burned going down. After a few moments she had to admit that she felt a little numb around the edges and she realized she didn't really mind.

Cody stepped up onto the porch after dismounting and peeked into the doorway, giving a slight whistle at the hole in the ceiling and then looking at his dad and the woman whose eyes were swollen and red from obvious crying.

"Clara, I'd like you to meet my youngest, Cody. The last time you saw him he was just shy of a year old," said Jesse with a little smile.

She nodded to the teenager, "Yeah, I remember somewhat. That was the summer Matt could hardly be pulled away from his baby brother to come over and play. You were just learning to walk by then and he was determined he had to show you every tree and rock outside…." She smiled just slightly at the memory. All she could remember was how exasperated she had been with Matt at the time and how bored she was when she visited him at the family cabin because it was all about Cody. She didn't have siblings so she hadn't understood the concept of how great it was to have a baby brother. All she knew was it cut into their fun time that summer.

Cody flushed a little but nodded politely, "Nice to meet you Clara. I take it that the stuff I got out of the tree was yours? I managed to get it all packed up and I guess we can store it at our place since this place looks unfit for anything at the moment," he offered, turning to look at his dad.

Jesse looked at the young woman whom he remembered being so full of life back when she was only eight. Now she looked…well the best words to describe her were…used up. She looked worn out, tired and obviously at the end of her rope or she wouldn't have just attempted to take her own life in desperation.

"I agree with Cody. We can store it at our place. We've got a spare room there. You can stay with us until we can figure out what to do with this place," he said looking around.

She shook her head, "I appreciate the offer Mr. Hawkes but … I don't have the money to fix this. Even if I did, what little I'd have left, wouldn't be enough to put food on my table. I was….stupid to think I could come up here and do this on my own." She felt near to tears again.

Jesse shook his head, "It's Jesse and help is always here for the asking. There's a lot of ways to do things up here in the mountains that don't cost much at all. Before you give up, why not come back with us, spend a few days regrouping and we'll see if it's not such a lost cause after all. You're still living and breathing…means you can learn to live up here, take care of yourself and this place. Don't give up so easily young lady," he scolded softly.

Taking her shoulders, he guided her out the door. "Come on. A hot meal, a hot shower and a warm bed should make things look a little better tomorrow."

Looking at Cody who smiled shyly at her, then at Jesse over her shoulder, she gave in and nodded. If it didn't, she could always go find a cliff to jump off of somewhere…