A/N:First off, OUATChi was super fun, but also kind of crazy (and apparently this one was tame/small compared to most. It's a whole new experience for me lol). I hadn't been to one before, and writing FF is really my only link to the fandom (I'm not active on Tumblr and aside from a few live tweets during episodes, I don't have anything about the show or actors on my Twitter). Writing is my main connection aside from bingewatching it on Netflix repeatedly, and it's mostly a venue for a creative outlet from the stresses of my daily life. But, that was an intensive 3.5 days, and it was really fun to see so many people from so many different places, ages, genders, ethnicities, experiences, etc. come together like that. It's quite cool. (I was working it, so it was fun to watch as an observer. I probably met some of you and didn't even know it!). And the panels were super entertaining. Lana is gorgeous in person (obviously), but she looks even younger IRL (or she had a really great makeup artist for the weekend). The rest of the cast was great, too, (and omg Gil is beautiful with his facial scruff), and everyone is super down to earth.

Also, not to be crude, but I seriously need the name of Lana's trainer and her workout regimen because I want my ass to look like hers did on Sunday. Posting this chapter now so I can go to the gym and do more squats.

Wednesday, June 13th, 6:55p.m.

Regina snuck out after her last panel appearance the second day of the convention, deciding to completely forgo the party the network was throwing for all its shows that were attending Comic-Con. She figured there wasn't anything they could do about her absence, because it's not like they could fire her when she had already quit. The second day had been less hectic than the first after she shut down the gossipy reporter who asked the inappropriate question the day before, and for that she was grateful. It seemed that the audience took her demands to heart and knew better than to ask her any more invasive questions.

She had still been asked questions about her sexuality in her individual roundtable, but mostly as it related to her work and acceptance within the industry. One entertainment journalist had respectfully asked her if she was worried that her declaration might impact her career and what she would say to other actors who were on the fence about whether they should come out. She had simply responded: "It's hard to say because I haven't auditioned for anything yet since making the announcement, but I know in our society that it's still not easy being a woman who dates women, especially in Hollywood where it's still an Old Boy's Club in a lot of ways. Many producers and casting directors still feel that if a woman dates another woman, or a man dates another man, then they will no longer be believable as a straight character. But, I think that's bullshit, frankly. I don't think it's any different than hiring a married actor to play a single character — when I was married to Robin, I was still able to believably play that I was in love with Daniel and Graham on Frozen Mirror. And I'm not actually a murderous vampire queen, but I can convincingly play one, or at least I hope so, since that's what I've been doing for the past eight years," she had chuckled. "If casting directors could only cast actors who were identical to the characters they were playing, no movie or TV show would ever get made. It's called 'acting' for a reason," she had explained.

"As for what I would say to others in the industry, it's really up to them," Regina had continued. "I stand firm on my statement that an actor's personal life is their personal life. Yes, we're in the public eye, but who we are dating doesn't impact our on-screen performance, at least it shouldn't, as long as the person is good at their job. When I watch a film, I'm not thinking about who the main actor is married to or dating off-screen, but I am invested in what's happening on screen. I decided to come out because I was sick of feeling like I needed to hide and I was sick of rumors circulating, so it made sense to formally address them and then move on with my life, especially since my kids are at an age where they would inevitably see things fans were saying about Emma and me online. They've known about Emma and me since last fall, and I didn't want them to have to worry about keeping it a secret any longer. I also think that the more people who are openly out, the better it is to help reduce the stigma in Hollywood about gay or bisexual actors playing straight roles. And, if it can help anyone out there who may be struggling with accepting their own sexuality, or the sexuality of their son or daughter or sister or whoever, then that's a great thing, too. More visibility is never a bad thing, at least in my opinion."

"So, did you feel forced out of the closet because of the rumors about you, then?" another journalist had asked.

"Yes, in a way," Regina had confirmed. "Emma and I had been talking for a while about whether we should open up about our relationship publicly, and there were a lot of factors at play, one being that I was filming in Halifax for most of our relationship. I didn't want to announce anything until she and I at least lived in the same place for a bit and could be together like a regular couple to make sure things would work out with us. But that also meant that the rare times when I was in town, fans followed me and therefore saw us together, which led to more gossip and speculation. The fans know who my close friends are in town, and I was obviously spending much more time with Emma than with my other friends, and I didn't want to hurt Emma by constantly saying that she was 'just a friend.' So in that way, yeah, I did feel like if I didn't say something, someone would eventually get concrete proof of the extent of our relationship and 'out' us, and I wanted to be in control of how and when that happened. And to that point, not everyone is ready or wants to come out, so we need to respect those decisions, too, and let people take things at their own speed. Having lived through it, the constant gossiping and speculation from the fans was exhausting and stressful. I would never want to do that to another actor and tell them that they have to come out, and I hope that fans will consider that as well."

She had paused her soliloquy to take a sip of water before she continued. "And I would also tell anyone else in my position to be careful about their relationships in general, gay or straight. I learned my lesson with Robin about not setting boundaries and letting fans see too much of our relationship, living our relationship through social media and having him come to cons with me all the time," she had said, even though her entire marriage with Robin had specifically been intended as a very public relationship. But, she had wanted to lay the groundwork to let fans know that they would not be getting that same experience with her and Emma. She couldn't stand the thought of portraying her relationship with Emma on social media in the same way — what she had with Emma was real and too special to broadcast everything to the world. But she worried if she didn't, because of how open she and Robin had been forced to be by Gold, then fans would speculate about her relationship with Emma not being as strong or loving as hers and Robin's had been. She didn't want that added meddling in their relationship, so she wanted to make her wishes for fans to stay out of it very clear. "That made things much harder on us than they needed to be, especially at the end. When we were separating, constantly having fans scrutinize how often he and I visited one another, or whether I forgot to put my ring back on after filming before going out to dinner with the cast, or how often we interacted with each other on social media just added additional pressure and stress to our relationship. While I am openly dating Emma and I imagine she will come to various events with me when her schedule allows it, I'm not going to let others to get involved in our relationship the way I did with Robin. I know that there will be some pressure to be a positive representation of a same-sex relationship, since there aren't that many by comparison in Hollywood, and I completely get that. But, I'm going to intentionally be much more guarded this time, for our own sake. I'd advise other people in the public eye to do the same." The rest of the reporters at the table, and the journalist who asked the question, seemed satisfied with her response, and the rest of the roundtable interview had been smooth sailing.

While to formal convention events had gone smoothly, Gold, however, had been another story. His mere presence annoyed the hell out of Regina, and she had made it clear to him in no uncertain terms that if he as much as looked at her the wrong way, she would stop at nothing to take him and his show down, collateral damage in the form of other crew members and actors be damned. Instead of attending the party, she sulked back to her hotel room — oddly enough, the same one she had been assigned last year — with the intention of ordering a boatload of lobster mac and cheese room service and a bad pay-per-view movie, knowing it was all included in her convention appearance contract. She just wanted to gorge herself on the Maine delicacy and snuggle in bed with her girlfriend, zoning out from the stress of the day.

Emma had managed to successfully slip into the hotel unnoticed the previous evening while most con attendees were otherwise occupied, bypassing Regina's legion of fans who had hoped to get a glimpse of the couple together. Regina had been grateful the blonde was there, because Emma had managed to calm her down after she returned from the first day of the panel and the on-stage confrontation with the gossip blogger. "But I did betray them, Emma, that's what makes me feel even worse about all this," Regina had cried. "That blogger bitch is completely right when she said that I betrayed my fans by lying about who I am. She just doesn't realize that she's right." Emma had talked Regina down from her near panic attack, listening to her fears and reminding her that she had been coerced into the entire situation by her mother and Gold's tactics and that Regina hadn't done anything deliberately malicious. It had been a long night of stress-induced tears, but eventually Regina had fallen asleep in Emma's arms.

"I'm back," Regina announced as she walked in the room, closing the door behind her. "Oh, shit. Sorry," she said as she saw Emma roll over on the bed and wipe the sleep from her eyes.

"It's fine. I didn't mean to fall asleep. It's too late to be napping anyway," Emma commented as she forced herself to sit up. The blonde had woken up that morning exhausted after only getting a few hours of sleep herself. She ended up hanging around the hotel all day, since it was reserved only for featured guests of Comic-Con and she could avoid the masses, waiting for her girlfriend to return from the second day of con events. "How was it today?"

"Better than yesterday, but still exhausting. This whole week sucks," Regina said as she toed off the white heels she had been wearing and walked around to the bed, sitting on top of the covers. "Room service and a shitty Hallmark movie?"

"You read my mind," Emma smiled, reaching for the phone.

After the stress and anxiety of the previous 48 hours, a relaxing movie night, a bottle of wine, and Maine lobster and pasta were exactly what both women needed.

*.*.*

It was just before midnight that night when Regina looked over at her girlfriend, who was laying on her side with her eyes closed. Her breathing was even, but she could tell she wasn't asleep yet. Emma had once told her that ever since she quit touring with the ballet company, she had trouble falling asleep in hotels and that seemed to be holding true. "Emma?" Regina whispered, adjusting her body to fully face the blonde as she released a nervous sigh.

"Hmm?" Emma hummed, her eyes still closed.

"I want to have a baby."

"Oh..." Emma replied, opening her eyes to look at the deep brown gaze of the other woman. "Now?"

Regina nodded her head and pushed herself up into a seated position. Emma followed her lead and sat up as Regina flipped on the bedside sconce so they could better see each other. With the light illuminating them, Regina continued. "The timing feels right, you know? I'm 36, so if I'm going to do it, I should do it soon. I don't have any projects lined up right now, so it seems like a good time…" She paused to study Emma, gauging her reaction. "Have you thought about it anymore since I brought it up last month?"

"Of course I have. It's kind of hard not to think about, Regina. It's a big decision."

"It is…so, what are you thinking?"

"Honest answer?"

Regina nodded, chewing on her bottom lip as she waited for Emma's verdict.

The blonde quietly sighed. "Personally, I don't think that I'm ready yet. And you know I love you, but I don't know if we're ready. We've only been together a year, not even, considering we didn't see each other for more than a week during the first three months of it, and up until recently it was all long-distance. This is the first real relationship for me, and your first real relationship in a long time…I don't want to rush into anything. We haven't even had much of a chance to just be 'us' together yet, so I don't know how we would raise a baby right now."

"Oh," Regina sighed, closing her eyes and trying desperately to rein in the tears she could feel forming behind her eyelids. "Makes sense," she conceded.

Emma reached out her hand to rest it on Regina's knee, giving it a soft squeeze. "But, I don't want my reticence to stop you from doing something you really want to do. I don't want you to resent me. If you want to do this you should do it, whether it's with or without me."

"Wait…" Regina said, confused. "What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"

"What? No. Of course not. God no," Emma stated in a panic. "I just…I mean, if you would want to do this regardless of whether or not I was in your life…if you would want to do this even if you had never met me, then you should absolutely do it. I don't want to be the one preventing you from having a baby, if that's what you really want. But if you want to do it because you want to have kids with me, and only for that reason, then I think we should wait a little longer until we're both there."

Regina took a deep breath, processing Emma's words. "I see."

"Regina," Emma said, a little more desperately. "I love you. So fucking much. I want to be with you. And I have thought about it, and I would want to have kids with you someday. I'm just not there yet, and I honestly don't know how long it will take for me to get there. But, if you want to do this now, I'll support your decision. I just can't promise you that I'll be able to be anything more than like the cool aunt or godmother to the baby right now."

"And how would that work? We live together, Emma. If I have a baby, he or she will be in our lives 24/7."

"I know. But it'll be like when Henry and Roland are there. To them, I'm your girlfriend, but I'm not their mother. And I know a baby would be there all the time and not just a few nights per week like they are. I'm not worried about that part... I like babies, so I won't mind having one around."

Regina scoffed. "You 'won't mind having one around'? It's a child, Emma."

Emma shrugged. "Okay, maybe that didn't come out the way I meant it. I just meant that I will still want to live with you, even if you are raising a baby. I just don't want you to have these expectations of me as some wonderful mother who will be ready to jump into full-time parenting when the baby arrives," she said, brushing away a tear from Regina's cheek. "I'm just being honest."

"I know. I appreciate that."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. If you're not ready, then you're not ready. I'd rather you be honest about it than say you're on board when you're really not."

"I know. But I'm still sorry. I really wish I was there, but I'm just…not. Not yet."

"So you've said." Regina tried to give her a watery smile. "Thank you for being honest with me," she said, giving her a quick, chaste kiss before lying down with her back to Emma and turning off the light.

The tension in the silent darkness was palpable, the conversation weighing heavily on both women. Emma rolled over and hesitantly wrapped her arm around Regina's torso. "Are you okay?" she whispered.

"Uh huh," was the reply she received, though she could tell Regina was still fighting back tears.

"Are we okay?"

"Yes, Emma," Regina stated, reassuringly patting Emma's hand that was on her abdomen before tucking her hands back under her pillow.

A few minutes later, she knew Emma was still awake, as she could hear her anxious breathing and feel the blonde shifting slightly behind her. "Emma?" she whispered to be sure.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to be upset with me if I do it anyway?"

"What? No…as long as you're not going about it the old fashioned way," Emma said, trying to lighten the mood and shifting closer to Regina, resting her chin on the back of the brunette's shoulder.

It worked, and Regina let a small chuckle escape her lips. "Yeah, I'll pass on that method," she said.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Emma asked, bringing them back on topic.

"Because it will mean I didn't wait for you to be ready. I desperately want to have kids with you, Emma," she said, echoing the blonde's earlier words. "But, I think I want to have a baby regardless now…well, in nine months or a year or however long the process takes."

"Then that's what you should do, Regina. I meant what I said. I don't want you to resent me if I make you wait, especially if it takes me so long to be ready that it's no longer possible for you to get pregnant. I don't want you to miss out on that experience because of me. But, at the same time, I don't want to you to resent me if I'm not ready when the baby gets here…I really don't want you to go into this secretly thinking and hoping that I'll suddenly change my mind and be ready by the time the baby gets here. I mean, it could happen, I guess, but I don't want you think that it will. I just really don't want you to be disappointed with me. If you do this, it should be the best thing that ever happened to you, you know?"

"Yeah," she sighed, rolling onto her back. "Fuck. I don't know what to do."

Emma propped her head up on her hand so she could look down at her girlfriend, her eyes slowly adjusting to the darkened room enough to see the outline of Regina's features. "Look, you just really started thinking about this seriously since Jessie was born, right? When we get home, why don't you go talk to a fertility clinic or your OBGYN or whoever to find out about the process and what it entails, start looking at donors and all that? It's not like you're going to be able to go get pregnant tomorrow anyway. I imagine it'll take time before you actually get to the point of putting your feet in the stirrups and getting inseminated. You have time to think about it and make your decision."

"Yeah, you're right. And it's not a decision that should be made at the spur of the moment in the middle of a stressful situation anyway. I'll call my doctor when I get back and start from there." Regina took a deep breath and closed her eyes, her hand seeking out Emma's under the bedspread. She smiled as she felt the blonde intertwine their fingers.

"Whatever you decide, I love you, Regina."

A/N: Almost done with the uberchapter! The next chapter will flash forward to the day they return back home. Thanks, as always, for reading. I hope you're enjoying it!