Best Laid Plans

Arun

Disclaimer:

I don't own Naruto. I'm just borrowing the Naruto-verse for a wee while.

Readers, be warned that this is AU. Don't flame me if the story doesn't develop as per canon. Not that I'm worried about that seeing the huge number of readers who reviewed the prologue. LOL

Chapter 1: I'm Become Ninja…

Sarutobi heaved a sigh and blew smoke out in a slow stream, weighing his favorite pipe in his right hand as he contemplated the faces of the other hokages carved into the hillside. Seven years had passed since the fateful day since the kyuubi brought Konoha to its knees. There had been some very tough times in between, but the village had weathered them like it had the Shinobi wars with its ever-watchful ninja standing guard at the walls.

During those seven years, the rapid expansion program that the Hokage had initiated after the kyuubi disaster had paid off nicely and the ranks of shinobi had bounced back to what the army of the Fire country's mission statement called for in times of peace. Even though compromises were made at the start, what with the threat of war looming over the horizon, the quality of the soldiery had improved handily over time thanks to rigorous training and Darwinian selection. Now, both the civilian and the military establishments were finally back to their pre-attack levels. In short, the future looked bright for Konohagure no Sato with most of the uncertainties and fears of the past few years gone. Bright enough, in fact, that Sarutobi had started entertaining thoughts of spending more than a few hours every week with his toddler grandson.

Naturally, the aged Hokage thought with a trace of weariness, spies had to overhear talk of Naruto and his prisoner. It was the worst-case scenario really, for the spies had not been from any of the satellite villages of Konoha or nations allied with it. No, they had been infiltrators from Kumo, which so soon after the Hyuuga incident may have been enough to start a war if the victim had been anyone other than the village pariah.

Sarutobi's grip on his precious pipe tightened a wee bit as his fingers clenched. The Hyuuga incident and the tragedy that befell that clan in its aftermath should have been enough of a wakeup call to tighten security, but the latest event proved that it was as lax as ever. The Hokage promised himself that in the next few days, after both the Military Police and the ANBU Interrogation submitted independent reports on the attempt on Naruto, heads were going to roll; literally. God have mercy on those suspected of treason or gross incompetence because none was going to be forthcoming from the office of the Hokage. Infiltrators should not have been able to come within a mile of both the legacy of the Yondaime and the heir to the Hyuuga much less get within arm's length of both.

Thankfully, fortune had smiled on Naruto as it had on little Hinata-chan and his abductors had the misfortune of dealing with not one but two Uchihas who were in the neighborhood. And not just any two scions of that prestigious clan either. From preliminary reports, young Itachi and his cousin Shisui had heard the sounds of fight put up by Naruto's guard, and had rushed to the scene. Thereafter, against the might of one of three great doujutsu, the kidnappers had not stood a chance.

Still, they could have curtailed their natural aggression and been less flashy, Sarutobi thought with mild irritation. The two Uchiha had gone about the business with the same bloody-mindedness that was fast earning them a reputation among shinobi ranks. The Hokage's annoyance had nothing to do with worries about their craftsmanship. From experience, he knew that the two nin in question were as professional as they come. No, what irked him had to do with their flamboyance and their lack of foresight. Whatever the definition of prudence and thoughtfulness were, cutting a man into so many pieces with a blade that it literally rained blood on a child was definitely not it. He had half a mind to take the punks to task and throw the box their ears for that one!

"Hokage-sama, the boy is ready to see you," the chuunin stand-in for the Hokage's aide, who'd called in sick that day announced.

"Bring him in. Send in Itachi and Shisui as well. Send for Ibiki. I'll see him after this meeting."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," the chuunin said and withdrew, but not before showing in the three boys.

Sarutobi bade the trio sit with a wave of his hand and considered them. The usually exuberant Naruto was subdued, but that was to be expected given the ordeal he'd endured. On any other day, the Hokage would have been hard pressed to resist the urge to pull at the blond's cheeks for his squeaky clean appearance and the wide-eyed look he was shooting at his two companions. The blond runt was forever dirty, which given his lack of playing partners his age was not easy to explain. Given the events of the day, however, the Hokage was sure that he did not want to do that. While kids were stronger than adults in many regards, with their remarkable ability to bounce back from things that would kill or destroy older men and women, even they could not recover after bathing in blood. Not without severe long-term psychological impact, at least. Oh yes, he needed to have a long talk with the boy before the day was out and then have another talk with the caretaker at the orphan's home to keep an eye on him for sometime to come.

The two Uchihas, on the other hand, sat calm and collected. Itachi was seemingly oblivious to the boy staring wide-eyed at him whereas Shisui returned the stare with a friendly smile. Sarutobi noted Naruto's eyes widen even further at the smile and felt a pang of regret for a childhood stolen away for the greater good.

"Little Naruto, are you alright?" he asked turning his gaze back to the boy.

The boy nodded, shyly, as he was often wont when in the presence of others before the Hokage.

"Yeah," he ventured softly. He turned to Shisui. "What's your name, nii-san?"

The Hokage burst into a smile. This was not going to be one of Naruto's shy outings, after all.

"I'm Uchiha Shisui, Naruto-kun."

"Why are your eyes black now? They were red this afternoon."

The meeting continued on in that vein. The Hokage had decided even before he called for the meeting that its sole purpose was to introduce Naruto to his rescuers so that he could see them as humans, which would go a long way towards reducing the trauma of the day. He would get the details from the After Action Report later. From all appearances, it seemed to be working too for Naruto became more and more animated through the course of the hour and even went so far as to crawl into Shisui's lap once. The smile the Hokage flashed the young Uchihas held genuine warmth thus when the meeting came to a close at the end of the hour.

"Jiji," Naruto said in a timid voice after the door closed behind the two departing ninjas, "I was afraid."

The third shot a tender look at the child seated before him. Sitting on that oversized chair with that vulnerable look, Naruto was picture incarnate of a child afraid and all alone with no one to help him face his fears. The old man's heart melted at the sight and he rose from his seat. He picked the boy up in his hands, groaning inwardly at his creaking old bones, and nested Naruto on his waist. He wiped away the tears, which had started as soon as he was lifted up, and patted the boy gently until the sniffling died down. Then, pulling away a little, he made eye contact with the youngster, tweaking the boy's nose and tousling his hair one after the other with his free hand. Afterwards, he took Naruto to his favorite ramen stand and then, seeing as it was evening, to the park. The Uzumaki chased dragonflies under the Hokage's watchful eyes for sometime before returning to Sarutobi's lap.

"Jiji."

"Yes, Naruto."

"What happened today?"

"Some bad men came to take you away from the village."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Really?"

"Really," Sarutobi nodded for emphasis. "Itachi-kun and Shisui-kun were protecting you."

"They were scary," Naruto whispered.

"Who?"

"Itachi-nii-san and Shisui-nii-san. They moved so fast."

"They're ninjas," the Third reminded the boy.

"There was so much icky blood," Naruto's whisper dropped even further. He repeated his earlier words, unconsciously wiping his hands on his trousers as if to remove body fluids, "I was so afraid."

"They were performing their duty, Naruto-kun. Ninja guard the village."

"Why?"

Sarutobi considered. How to describe why doughty men stood guard at the gates shielding the civilian populace from the darkness beyond? As young as he was, Naruto would not – could not – understand the sacrifice and love involved in the act. But the boy's question touched the very heart of the issue. How best to describe so complex a philosophy in such a way that a child of seven could understand? After a few seconds, the third had the answer.

"To protect their precious ones. They do what they do so that their precious ones can live happily."

"Am I precious?" Naruto asked with quivering lips. His eyes brimmed with unshed tears at the question and Sarutobi's heart broke anew at the pain reflected in his blue eyes.

"Yes, Naruto. You're my precious person."

The boy burst into tears then for the second time in the day, hugging the third tightly. Sarutobi stroked his hair and whispered little words of love into the boy's ears as he cried. When Naruto's sobs finally wound down, he wiped his teary eyes with the back of his hand even as the Hokage cleaned his dripping nose with the sleeve of his formal robe. By this time, it was getting late, but Sarutobi wasn't concerned. He had long since cancelled all his appointments for the day and so, it was not as if he would have to meet an emissary or an official with booger on his person. But that thought was at best fleeting and was meaningless really, since the third loved the boy so.

"Jiji," Naruto said sometime later as they sat under the fading sunlight. "I want to be a ninja."

Sarutobi turned Naruto around to face him and tousled his sun-kissed hair. It was not hard to follow Naruto's thoughts really. This was the youngster's way of showing his love back to the Third. The seasoned old campaigner's heart grew even heavier as emotions surged in his chest. Greater love than the willingness to lay down one's life for loved ones, there was not.

"Yes, you will," he said, solemnly, answering the unasked question. He would enroll the boy into the academy tomorrow and maybe gift him a few scrolls on taijutsu seeing as how his eyes had lit up slightly when he talked about speed. He pulled Naruto close to his chest and gazed at the evening star in the sky above. "Yes, you will."

xxxxx

Five years later…

It had been an eventful five years, so to speak. Naruto whistled to himself as he put the final touches on his magnum opus. It was the culmination of three weeks of planning and five years of accumulated experience, but the effort and the pains were worth it. Surely, after this, his name would be remembered as the greatest prankster in the history of Konoha. He chuckled at the thought before bursting into a full belly laugh.

Yes, that ought to put a burr up their hairy asses, he thought as he contemplated his art and laughed some more. Truly, the hokage monument had never looked so good. He could not wait to see their reactions and so, he sat atop the Yondaime's head and waited as twilight became morning and Konoha awoke to a day of infamy. Or fame, he reminded himself, if you look at things from a certain perspective, that is.

Sure enough, as citizens started coming out to start their day, cries of indignation filled the air along with the occasional belly laugh from grizzly veterans. The squad of chuunins sent to apprehend 'that prankster brat' as the Hokage put it, found Naruto on the monument half an hour later. The leader of the squad shook his head and chuckled as Naruto carved a slice off the apple he was munching and offered it to him.

Later, after the customary talk from Iruka and the chuunin captain, Naruto lay hogtied on Iruka's table before his classmates in a rather good imitation of a roasted pig with an apple in his mouth in place of the gag.

"The finals are tomorrow," Iruka announce brightly, patting Naruto, "I had originally planned to give you the day off, but thanks to the little piggy here, I've decided that you all have way too much time on your hands."

The class groaned as one with even Shikamaru joining the crowd.

"It fills me with great joy to hear your enthusiastic cries," Iruka shouted over the cacophony. "Now, assemble before me. We're growing to rehearse the henge."

The rehearsal went as well as could be expected. Everyone managed tolerable to reasonably good henges, though some of the children looked exhausted by even that slight chakra expenditure. Iruka noted their names to fail them in the final exam as part of the weeding. Having chewed through the apple, Naruto oinked when it was Sakura's turn and earned himself an earful from both the young Haruno and Iruka for his efforts.

Finally, it was Naruto's turn.

"Oiroke no jutsu!"

Needless to say, the class burst into laughter. Kiba and Chouji drooled at Naruko's delectable derriere before they both realized where that train of thought was taking them. At end of day, the two boys decided as one in their minds, Naruto was going to pay for his mischief. Naruto, for his part, found their laughs distinctly unnerving.

xxxxx

The next day, Naruto walked into class late with several scrapes on his face and hands. Kiba and Chouji were already at their seats with mild black eyes on their faces. Akamaru barked at Naruto, drawing his attention and he grinned cheekily at his attackers. That plan of theirs sure did not work out right!

Iruka, flanked by Mizuki on his left, walked in a little later.

"All right, class," Iruka announced once the hustle and bustle of the class died down. "Throughout this year, you have been graded on your academic performance with tests and quizzes. There are those among you who've made passing grades already. But being a shinobi out on the field is about more than just book smarts. So, today, as with every class that came before you and every class that'll come after, we're going to have a daylong series of tests on your practical skills from taijutsu to genjutsu. File out to the training ground and wish you all the best of luck."

One after other, the class of nervous kids assembled on the training ground. The exam began with tests of proficiency at throwing kunai and shuriken and slowly graduated to the other shinobi arts. Even though Genjutsu had been taught in the academy since the founding of the village, this was the first year genjutsu evasion was being tested as part of the graduation exam. Many failed that part of the test, including Naruto, Kiba and Chouji, though Akamaru 'passed' with flying colors.

And then, it was time for the tests of ninjutsu and taijutsu. Well, it was not two separate tests, but a single one. A full contact, no holds barred match between students paired off against each other at the behest of the Hokage who had dropped by.

The spars went as well as can be expected with children twelve years old until it was Naruto's turn. The girls squealed as fan girls do when Sasuke's name was announced as Naruto's partner. The number one student against the academically mediocre and least popular blond? Surely, the winner of the fight was a no-brainer. This, passed the thought through the mind everyone gathered, was going to be decided in a pinch. All except Kiba, Chouji and the Hokage, that is.

So it came to be that Sasuke and Naruto faced off against each other in the genin graduation exam and as the two slipped into their stances, the Uchiha prodigy took a dig at his classmate.

"Better luck with the next year's graduation exam, dobe."

Naruto smirked.

"Hold on, Sasuke-teme, the ride is about to get wild," he said arrogantly and moved.

Naruto's speed immediately put Sasuke on the defensive. The blond came in with what was for all intents, a straight cross to the Uchiha's face with his right hand. The oh-so-many hours Sasuke had spent training in blocks and counters worked to his advantage. His hand came up to block the blow, but Naruto was already reacting. It was then that Sasuke's thoughts caught up with his reflexes and he knew that Naruto had planned for this exact reaction, but it was too late. Naruto's left leg spun in a kick that penetrated Sasuke's guard and impacted his ribs full force. Sasuke was thrown away, but managed to turn his uncontrolled fall into a magnificent skid against the dirt with skillful use of his hands.

Fan girls and assorted spectators gasped. The Hokage nodded to himself. This was exactly as he had expected.

"Is the dobe too fast for you?" Naruto smirked, sliding into another stance.

Sasuke spit on the ground and dusted the dirt off his shirt. He cracked his neck, rolled his shoulders and smirked back in return.

"Let's see you handle this," he said, rushing Naruto.

But Naruto could. The two exchanged blows at speeds that astonished the genin-wannabes, but it was clear within the first few minutes that Naruto had the upper hand. He could shift gears at will from Sasuke's level to somewhere above it, whereas to the trained observer, Sasuke had to keep firing on all cylinders just to keep up with his opponent. After a particularly brutal exchange, the two separated.

Iruka moved to stop the fight – and it was no longer for a spar – but the Hokage put a hand on the teacher's shoulder and shook his head. The boys had to get this out of their system now, or they would do it on their own later with no one around to ensure that things don't really get out of hand.

The two turned back prompted by a gasp from several of Sasuke's fan girls. Their eyes settled on the Uchiha and widened, for in the center of the ring stood Sasuke with two tomoe in each of his eyes.

The last survivor has awakened his family's most precious possession.

Naruto grinned toothily at the sight.

"So, you have those eyes. If you're related to Shisui-nii-san and his friend, its no wonder you improved so fast in the span of a single fight."

Sasuke looked confused for a second and then grinned on realizing the import of Naruto's words. Now that he thought about it, his reflexes had improved steadily over the course of the fight. With the sharingan awakened, he was that much closer towards avenging his clan's massacre.

'And to think the dobe forced its expression on me…' At that moment, the last loyal Uchiha found a new and profound respect for his opponent grow in his heart. 'Perhaps…'

"You have lost the match, Uzumaki," he said without his usual arrogance. "Nothing can withstand the might of the Sharingan."

"Famous last words," Naruto replied and blurred into motion faster than ever before.

Sasuke's sharingan spun and he knew what Naruto was going to do even before Naruto did. But Naruto was even faster than he was before – how dare the dobe play with him! – and Sasuke found to his disgust that while his mind worked fast enough, his body could not. Was this the worth of all the training he'd done? If he could not defeat this commoner with no clan to call his own, how could he defeat his accursed brother, who was possibly the greatest genius born in the most powerful ninja clan ever? Still, there was a hole the size of a truck in Naruto's all out attack and if he timed it right, he could KO the blonde into tomorrow and manage to pull a victory from the jaws of defeat. But whatever happened, he was sure of two things. One, he had a sparring partner who was worth his salt and two, he was going to work on his speed like there was no tomorrow.

Naruto's punch found its target unerringly even as Sasuke's fist came up in a non-regulation haymaker that would have ended the battle if it had connected. Sasuke knew that the fight was as good as lost as soon as he missed and Naruto's fist connected with his solar plexus. The excruciatingly painful blow knocked the breath out of the Uchiha. Still, even as he folded and flew back from the force of the punch, Sasuke's hands sped through the hand-seals for the gokakyu no jutsu faster than they ever had before. But there was no air in his chest to blow at his opponent. In desperation, as the chakra gathering in his thorax struggled for release, he forcefully ripped it out of his lungs. The action, combined with his inexperience at chakra manipulation, burst the air sacs within and burned his airways. But the resulting mild explosion of air combined with the aspirated blood was enough to produce a fireball tinged red.

Naruto knew he was done for as soon as Sasuke blew the fireball. Six feet separated him and the Uchiha at most, and that was five feet less too short to kill his forward momentum and retreat in time. Of course, he reasoned all this in his subconscious, but one need not be a rocket scientist to figure out there was simply no escape…

xxxx

Water dripped from pipes in bad need of repair. Ankle deep water flowed leisurely under his feet. Disoriented, he looked around and saw that he was in a tunnel – possibly the sewers of Konoha – of some sort. This struck him as weird as he had been facing a ball of burning death just a moment before.

What happened to it? Where was he?

His mind delegated all thought to the background as he espied a huge door with bars of wood so thick he didn't think he could wrap his arms around them. A piece of paper was glued to the wood with the word 'seal' calligraphed on it in kanji. Malevolent red eyes stared at him through the bars, seething with hatred and contempt.

'Worthless brat!' a voice as ageless as the stars in the sky above boomed in deep basso. It was so powerful that the water under his feet and around the bars of the door rippled. 'I wish I could get my hands on you to torture and maim. Be gone!'

A wave of crimson water that burned to touch from pollution rushed out the door and…

xxxxx

Witnesses to the fight felt a terrible killing intent wash over them. Many of the genin collapsed under the weight of that insane desire to kill and render even though it lasted only a fraction of a second. Some even voided their bowels and wet their pants in fear. Others shook so much that their knees knocked and their teeth clattered. Two of the most shaken children in the crowd would resign their commissions later that same day. All said and done, it was not the proud start to their careers the genin-hopefuls had wished for…

The center of the arena exploded just before the fireball hit Naruto. The children were too frightened by the short-lived spike of killing intent to even so much as twitch at the fireworks, though most of them were blown off their feet with abrasions and lacerations. Chuunins were made of sterner stuff, however, and Iruka gasped aloud. He was half-afraid for his student and half-fearful that the demon that slew his parents had escaped the cage that had shielded the world from its malevolence for so long. Sarutobi and Sasuke were the only ones to show no reaction to the explosion and the burst of power before it at all. Sarutobi because he had routinely faced foes who oozed killing intent as powerful, if not more so than what he'd felt just now and Sasuke because he was too busy flying through the air trying to breathe with burnt lungs. The former because he knew the commander could never show fear in the face of mortal danger lest his troops lose hope and surrender the will to fight, and the latter because he was too busy choking to death to care.

Sasuke hit the ground with a thud that was audible over the clatter of the dirt, pebbles, clods and sundry material thrown into the air as they rained down all around. He skidded and rolled against the debris-strewn ground and came to rest, sprawled against the school foundation. The Hokage did not so much as spare a glance at the Uchiha heir. From experience – he had tried something similarly stupid when he was the Uchiha's age himself – he knew that the boy was not really choking to death. Yes, the Uchiha would recover and under the administrations of a skilled medical practitioner, would not even lose any of his lung capacity, which would have ended his life as a ninja. He was more interested in Naruto whose escape he had followed with his skilled eyes as the boy flitted to a tree on the other side of the courtyard.

The Hokage's hidden retinue of ANBU appeared with their swords unsheathed at his side at that moment. The one on the rightmost flank leveled his sword and made to charge as part of the opening gambit but Sarutobi barked the order to stand down. His soldiers would not be needed today. At least, not to kill and/or die for the village.

Perched on a branch, Naruto sported a shit-eating grin on his face that he proudly displayed to the whole wide world. He had shown that prissy Uchiha who's who and what's what, now, hadn't he? Quite unlike his smile, Naruto's eyes were only for Sarutobi, who gave a slight nod of acknowledgement, which was all that the Hokage could spare for the moment. The promised ramen treat for graduation would come later.

"Call in medical support for Sasuke," Sarutobi told the commander of his guards.

The captain turned to his lieutenant, but the ANBU officer was already on the wireless asking for medics. He relayed the information on both the civilian and military frequencies while two of his squad mates rushed to the administer first aid to the Uchiha, who was frothing at his lips, but generally breathing.

Naruto chose to acknowledge his own pain at that moment. The hits that Sasuke had scored smarted like hell and his legs burned. He swayed on his feet as a wave of dizziness hit him out of nowhere. His eyes rolled in his head and he fell off the branch headfirst. If it were not for the ANBU who caught him, he would later acknowledge, the career of one Uzumaki Naruto, aspiring Hokage and number one most surprising ninja of Konohagure no Sato would have met an untimely end right then and there.

The rumor would spread through shinobi ranks and would contribute to his legend in years to come that the smile he wore never left the brat's face, however and unlike many of the rest, this one rumor was based on fact.

Author's notes:

Yes, Naruto won against Sasuke, but before you go bite my neck off, know that Naruto won only because Sasuke did not resort to ninjutsu till the very end. As to why Sasuke stuck to taijutsu, it could have been vanity or stupidity on his part. Really does not matter though. Naruto won. That's all that should and will matter.

BTW, if you can't figure out how Naruto got so fast or so good at taijutsu, wait till next chapter. I'll explain it as best as I can.