Chapter 12

Clara sat in the shadows of the hay loft, looking out at the view the open door gave. It faced the open mountain range and from where she sat she was hidden from the outside world. That's just how she wanted it right now. Her head was swimming with thoughts of the revelations of that 'discussion' with Matt.

He had feelings for her in a way she hadn't realized. How could he? They'd only seen each other a few times before now and had spent a total of maybe twelve hours in each other's company. She knew she had feelings for him yet her mind rebelled against that. She'd been betrayed before and she wasn't willing to open herself up again to heartache and pain, even betrayal again. She couldn't, at least not right now. Maybe someday she might allow herself to open up again to someone but not right now.

She sat there for a bit longer, staring off at the mountains and trying to untangle all of the feelings she had jumbled up inside. The last two days had been a whirlwind of activity and she'd had little time to sit down and digest any of what had been happening to her. She knew she needed to go back down and help move more of the boxes and furniture inside but she just couldn't bring herself to see the others right now.

The sound of someone on the ladder leading up to the hayloft made her tense and she buried her face against her sore knees that had been pulled up to her chest. She'd just wanted a little time alone, that's all. She heard someone grunt a little as they climbed into the hayloft and heard the sound of boots walking across the boards towards her.

She felt something metallic and cool lay against her shoulder, "Jesse thought you might need a drink of water," came the unfamiliar voice of the Ranger they'd introduced as Tim Hart.

Clara opened her eyes, looked to the side and spotted the canteen that he was holding out to her, having touched her shoulder with it. Absently, she reached up and took it from him, uncapped it and took a long drink of the cool water inside. It soothed her dry throat and she suddenly realized how thirsty she was. She took a few more long sips and then put the cap back on.

"Thanks," she said quietly. "I suppose I better get back down there to help," she said as she started to rise, her shines still hurting a little.

Hart put a staying hand on her shoulder as he sat down on the floor himself, facing out the open door like she had, "No. Jesse and his boys are taking care of it," he offered in way of explanation. "There's nothing more than just boxes and a few odds and end pieces of furniture. We've already moved all of the big stuff in."

She blinked as she settled back down, "But that hardly seems fair, them doing all of the work."

Hart looked at her from the corner of his eyes, "That's just the way they are," he said with a shrug.

Frowning slightly, Clara sighed a little. Again, there was that whole issue of feeling obligated to pay someone back for their time…or looking for the hidden cost of the services rendered.

"You from around here?" she asked out of the blue. The few times she'd heard him speak, he'd not sounded like he was from the mountains and his speech patterns were more …eastern sounding.

He shook his head and smiled. "Would you believe I was born and raised in Brooklyn. I'm a New Yorker."

She blinked and then grinned, "Really? LA myself. You must really feel out of place out here," she said, trying to sound casual.

Hart shrugged, "Not so much anymore. I came out to Reno to go to school, figured a change in scenery would be nice when I went for my criminal justice degree. After I graduated I started looking for a job in this general area. While I was in school I'd fallen in love with these mountains and this area. When a position became available on the Rangers team, I applied. It was hard getting in but I passed the application and training process and I've been here ever since."

Clara listened intently, "But I mean, you're just so far away from any big city life and things are so foreign compared to where you grew up at."

Hart grinned, "Sure it's different. But no one is shooting at me the moment I step out of the front door. I can walk down any street in Tahoe at night and feel safe. I can go up to just about anybody here and ask for help and they'll give it, no questions asked and never ask for anything in return."

Clara jerked a little. The words of Running Fox came echoing back at her from the day before. "I just don't get that. I mean…nothing is ever for free. There's always a hidden cost somewhere. You grew up with it just like I did, living in the big city. No one ever does anything for anyone for free without some form of hidden cost…," she said but stopped speaking when she saw Hart's head shaking and a slight smile on his lips.

"Not out here. Out here, you're so far away from the 'norm' that at times, you have no choice but to depend on others. And the people up here give their help freely. Granted you occasionally find a hermit or cranky mountain man who would rather shoot you than say boo to you but they are few and far between…," said Hart with a twinkle in his eyes. "But really, that's just the way it is up here. You either learn that or you don't survive. If you keep looking for the hidden cost of help freely given, people might stop offering it when you need it the most. The most important thing to learn though is that we all have to rely on one another. Some day someone may need your help. Just be willing to give it as freely as someone gave it to you some other time. If you want to put a cost to something, that's what it would be. Give as good as you get. When you get help, be prepared to give it back as good as you got it to the person that gave it to you or to someone else that may need it just as badly. Make sense?" he asked.

Clara was very quiet as she stared at him for a long moment. Finally she nodded slowly. "I think so. It's just…so different than the way I was raised."

Hart nodded, "I know. It took a lot of getting used to for me too. But after awhile, you stop thinking about it and just accept it."

She took another drink from the canteen and smiled at Hart. "Thanks…."

Shortly after their discussion Hart took off in one of the trucks, hauling an empty horse trailer back to the ranger station. He was on night shift and he was going to need some sleep before he had to monitor the phones starting at midnight.

Clara watched him leave and returned to the back of the last remaining trailer to pick up one of the few boxes left in the far back corner. Hauling it inside, she set it down and looked around at the stacks of boxes around pieces of furniture placed willy-nilly. She knew it was so she could decide how she wanted to set up the cabin but it still made for a lot of work once everything was inside.

Cody passed her with a grin and headed back out to the trailer, reappearing a few moments later with two boxes that he set down next to her. "Well, that's it," he said, brushing his hands off on his jeans.

Matt and Jesse were busy in the upstairs bedroom putting together the frame of a spare bed though she had a feeling it was partially to keep Matt out of her line of sight for a little while longer.

Clara turned to Cody with a smile. "Thanks." She looked back around the cabin and then her eyes fell upon something she had forgotten about until that moment. Walking slowly over to it, she shifted the boxes away from the front of it and took the box off the top before running her hands over the dust covered surface.

"What's that?" asked Cody, who had followed behind her out of curiosity.

"Jakes old Victrola," she replied in quiet tones. "God…the memories this brings back." She slowly lifted the lid and propped it open with the metal rod inside. Sitting just like the last day she'd seen it was the arm with the needle attached to it, secured to its pedestal. A record sat securely on the felt around the spindle in the center. Reaching in with trembling hands, she picked up the record off the spindle and looked at the title.

Flipping it over, she quickly put it back down on the spindle and reaching into the back of the lid, she pulled out the crank arm that was secured there with the little clamps. Cody watched with interest as she stuck it in the hole in the side of the tall, square box and began to turn it until it made a clacking sound at her. She stopped winding and reaching over she flipping a lever next to the record then gave the edge of the turn table a spin with her fingers.

Carefully lifting the head and needle, she set it down on the edge of the record. From the front of the Victrola came the scratchy sound of the beginning of the record followed by the instant sound of trumpets and horns blasting out a melody.

Cody watched all of this in fascination and when the first notes of music issued forth from the record player, he saw a tremor roll through her body as if she'd been shocked. He knew the style of music the band was playing but didn't know the song or the name of the band. The transformation though to Clara's face was amazing. She'd gone from tense and apprehensive to suddenly relaxed and energized. Her foot began tapping out the beat to the fast tempo music and she closed her eyes for a minute. He wondered if she was remembering a time fifteen years ago when she was up here with Jake…and happy.

Clara opened her eyes and looked at Cody. "Glen Miller. In The Mood. My favorite. Uncle Jake taught me how to dance the Jitter Bug to it," she offered up to him then, explaining a few things without him having to ask.

"Anyone ever teach you how to dance?" she asked him suddenly.

He blinked in surprise and shook his head, "No. Don't think I'd be any good at it," he said, trying to come up with an excuse as to why he'd never tried. Of course living with one's dad made it kind of hard to learn how to dance.

"Ah, well then it's about time you learned," she said with an impish grin. Grabbing Cody's hand, she pulled him out into the middle of the living room floor that was still empty of any furniture or rugs. "The Jitter Bug is a pretty fast paced dance but pretty open, not very structured. Steps are pretty easy. Like this…,"

She turned herself so she was along side of him and began a simple step pattern forward and back with one foot then the other. Cody did his best to imitate but he just wasn't sure if this was really his cup of tea. She worked to get him to relax and have a little fun, while she worked him around the room with the simple steps. He had a feeling that it was probably more complicated than what she was showing him but at least she was going easy on him.

The record had moved onto another song as they continued to dance and finally the record came to an end. Grinning, she moved over to the Victrola and gave the arm another round of cranks to wind it up and turned the table again, setting the needle down on the edge of the record. When she turned around she came face to chest with Matt.

Looking up at him, she blinked in surprise. "Mind if I have this dance?" he asked her a little sheepishly.

She blinked again and cleared her throat, "I…guess. Do you remember anything Uncle Jake used to teach us?" she temporized, not sure if she wanted to dance with him or not. Jake had taught both her and Matt when she'd been here those few summers as a way to keep them busy and out of trouble.

Matt raised an eyebrow, "Actually Mom made me take some dance lessons when we moved to town and our football coach, of all people, made the team take dance lessons. Said it would help us with our footing...so yeah, I think I can remember a few. What about you? Think you can keep up?"

Clara gave a snort and reached back, took the needle off, set it back at the beginning of the record and let Matt lead her out to the 'dance floor'. As the first strains of 'In The Mood' began, she felt him take her hand and spin her out, then spin her back in before he led her around the floor, forcing her to follow him step for step, move for move.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of Cody and Jesse sitting on the stairs and watching them, a slight smug yet surprised expression on both of their faces. It was only a good thing that she'd had those dance lessons her parents had forced on her or she'd have been hard pressed to keep up with Matt. How he'd remembered all of these years after he was done playing football still left her a bit stunned. Dancing, especially swing or ballroom was something that most people forgot after their basic lessons were over with and didn't remember much of only a few months afterwards.

She let him spin her around and she forgot to think about lessons, Jesse or Cody as she focused on the man in front of her. She hadn't had a dance partner like this in some time and it felt…right. She grinned as she forced him to have to improvise a time or to and when the song came to an end he was finally panting a little. She normally could have kept going but after two long days of hauling boxes and furniture, she had to admit she was worn out as well.

Jesse and Cody clapped from the sidelines and as Jesse got up to take the needle off the record, Matt pulled her a little closer and leaned down to whisper to her.

"I'm sorry about yesterday and today. I was an ass…can you forgive me?" he asked her quietly.

Startled a little, she took a moment to take in his closeness, to feel the pulse of his heartbeat in his hands and got a good look at his green eyes. Finally she nodded, "You're forgiven," she whispered back and leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek, next to the corner of his mouth.

She saw the slight look of disappointment in his eyes when they parted but he would just have to be happy with that much. It was all she was willing to give at this moment in time. She turned away out of his arms and smiled a little to the other two, "Come on. The least I can do is feed you three after all the work you've done…."

To Be Continued...

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