A/N: TRIGGER WARNING

This chapter contains self harm.

One week. It took an entire week for Blaine to realise this wasn't going to end. He wasn't going to suddenly wake up with all the colour back in his life. This was his life now, a dark abyss of shadows and emptiness. He tried to smile more, thinking that if maybe he smiled, his body would remember what it was like to be happy, but it never worked. Nothing worked. Until he saw red.

He doesn't know how it happened, he has no memory of doing what he did, but one second he was shaving, just like every other day, still dragging himself around like a somber, when his hand slipped. He felt the sting and saw the blood. Red. He could feel the flash of colour behind his eyes again, but only red, like fireworks of life in his mind.

He was so surprised he was feeling anything, having gone an entire week of nothing, no emotion except the occasional flicker of sadness. He didn't feel himself moving, it was like he was on autopilot. He didn't realise he had pulled apart his razor blade. He didn't notice when he held it to his own bare skin, still so caught up in the fact that he felt something. All he knew was he wanted to keep feeling. He didn't want to go back to his shadow of a life.

Before he knew what was happening, he was surrounded by the red, the stinging feeling running down his arms bringing him to life, making him feel. He's happy to see the red, so pleased to feel some colour returning to him. Even as black blotts his vision he still sees red, all over him, all around him, and he thinks it's beautiful. He falls unconscious with a content smile on his face. His first real smile in a week.

That's how Kurt found him.

Kurt knew something was bothering Blaine. He knew his fiance, and he could see that his smile never quite reached his eyes, but he never imagined it could be this.

He was getting their breakfast ready while Blaine was in the bathroom getting ready for class. This was their Friday routine, and has been for the last three months. With breakfast on the table and coffee in their mugs he called out to Blaine. His only answer was silence.

He gave it another five minutes, maybe Blaine was still trying to tame his wild curls? But when that five minutes were up, there was still no sign of him. Kurt decided it was time to interrupt whatever Blaine was doing, as their breakfast was going to go cold soon. He made his way to the bathroom door, and that's when he saw it. Red. A small trickle of liquid coming from under the door. Not much, but enough to cause Kurt to thrown the door open like his life depended on it.

What he saw, broke his heart.

Blaine, the love of his life, his soul mate, slumped over in the bathroom, his back leaving against the side of the tub. The first thing Kurt saw was the blood. Too much blood. But he couldn't contain his broken sob when he saw the origin of all that blood. Two long angry red lines, one on each arm, running from his elbow to his wrist.

Kurt was fumbling for his phone, still in shock, but finally able to move.

"911 what is your emergency?"

"My fiance... He's hurt… there's blood everywhere… so much blood… please… hurry!" Was all Kurt could come out between gasps for breath. He felt like his world was falling apart. He stayed on the phone, trying his best to follow the instructions he was given. He wrapped the closest towel he could reach around both Blaine's arms, trying to put enough pressure on the cuts to slow the bleeding until help arrived.

His eyes traced Blaine's features while he waited, though his vision was blurred by the tears. Blaine was pale. Too pale. His beautiful face was sickly looking, and he was definitely thinner. He looked nothing like the Blaine he knew. The man who's contagious smile could light up the room, his honey coloured eyes bright and full of life. Everyone that came into contact with Blaine loved him. He was so full of life.

Kurt couldn't have told you how long he sat there, holding Blaine's arms in his hands, willing the bleeding to stop, before the paramedics arrived. Everything happened in a blur. They took Blaine from him, removing his hands from his wounds so they could take over. They allowed him to travel in the ambulance with Blaine, but he wasn't allowed to touch him. He couldn't get in the way, and it was killing him.

The ride to the hospital felt like the longest ride of Kurt's life, not knowing if Blaine would be okay. Not even knowing if he would live. The paramedics said he had a heartbeat, but it was weak. Dangerously weak.

When they got to the hospital, Blaine was taken away from him. He wasn't allowed to follow, he could only watch on in horror as they wheeled his Blaine away, telling him they would notify him later.

Kurt was then left to make the dreaded call. Blaine's mother.

The phone answered on the third ring.

"Hey Kurt, how have you been?" He heard Pam's cheery voice through the phone, the smile on her voice reminding him so much of Blaine. His Blaine. He couldn't hold back the sob that forced it's way from his lips.

"Blaine…" was all that he could manage to say before the tears came in full force, the shock beginning to leave his body. He heard a sharp gasp through the phone.

"Is he okay?" Kurt hates the anxiety in her voice. He always loved Pam, she was always kind and so happy every time she saw him. He loved her like family, and he knew what he had to say would hurt her, just as much as he was hurting.

"I don't know… God I have no idea, they won't tell me anything, they just took him away. There was so much blood Pam… he hurt himself." He was shaking while he spoke, the tears refusing to stop now they had begun. He could hear Pam's sobbing through the phone. She told him she would be there as soon as she could, as best as she could while struggling to breathe, and then the line went dead.

All Kurt wanted in that moment, was for Blaine to hug him and tell him everything would be okay. But that couldn't happen, and it might not happen ever again.

A/N: I've been writing this on my phone while I'm unable to sleep, I've been sick so I haven't slept for two nights now, that's why ive managed to get three chapters out so quick. I could write longer chapters, but I just feel like they end right where they needed to. This has only really been the introduction to the story so far, and I definitely have a lot planned out. If you can think of any suggestions please feel free to let me know, I have so much room for improvement.

Thanks for your time!