Not Enough (Ulquiorra)

There's nothing you can say
There's nothing you can do

I've felt nothing before. Nothing but pain. With nothing I could say or do about it but this is worse. It's not physical but an emotional one. I've never wanted to be this way.

There's nothing in between
You know the truth

But I cannot change it just as she can't either. I may forgive my self but is it truely enough?

Nothing left to face
Nothing left to prove

But let's go back to what went wrong. "Ulquiorra?" a little voice calls out into the darkness of the basement/crypt.

"Yes, Lexi?"

"I just wanted to know if you were here." A little girl with auburn hair and emerald eyes races down the steps and jumps at me. I pull back my wing in time to save it from her childish demeanor. She wiggles closer and I lay my wing back over her. She reaches out with a tiny hand to touch my mask. "Ulquiorra?"

"What is it?"

"When you leave. I mean leave, leave, can I come with you?" she inquires.

"Lexi, I.." I start, completely taken aback by her question.

"Please." she whispers clutching my paw/hand. "I don't want you to leave. Your my best friend." Those words have my head reeling. I haven't had anyone to take care of since her.

Nothing takes your place

I flick my tail across her mouth softly. She cannot replace Violetta but she could help mend my broken being, my broken, dare I say it? My broken heart.

"Perhaps, young one, perhaps."

When they say you're not that strong
You're not that weak
It's not your fault

That next night before she came down to see me. I left. I wanted, needed to feed. I land on the outskirts of the town by a tavern. I don't have to wait long before a young man comes stumbling out.

I wait for the doors to close before grabbing him. He opens his mouth to scream but my tail's wrapped around his mouth, silencing all sound. You know the rest, vampire and victim.

At least I don't kill them. I'm not that weak.

When you climb up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope you're well

I climb back through the hole/tunnel under the ground Lexi and I built together. She's there in my nest, you could call it, waiting for me. I tilt my head sidways in question.

"Hi!" I snort and curl up around her. She's growing up so much. I can barely wrap her entirely in my wings anymore. She giggles and plays with my tail much like a cat. I smile.

There's nothing left to prove
Nothing I won't do

"Lexi!" I call upstairs. After all no one would be here. No one cares for a little orphan girl, except me.

The hammering of her little feet above me make me smile. She slides down the banister just like Violeta used to. "Yes?"

"We are leaving soon." I peer into her cristiline eyes. "Tomarrow in fact."

Nothing like the pain
I feel for you

That next night after we packed our few things, we tied them to my legs and she climbed up onto my back. I spread my wings out wide and take off.

In the middle of our flight from Glassglow, she speaks. "Ulquiorra, who is Violetta?" I stiffen in midflight causing us to drop several feet. She screams and clutches my neck tighter. "Ulquiorra?"

"I am sorry." I say as I start up my flight once again.

She nods but doesn't let go. You know I never did answer her question.

Nothing left to face
Nothing left to fear
I am always here

We land outside of La Faitz just before dawn breaks. She holds my wing as she desends. At the sight of our new home, a bungalow abbandoned for many a year, she runs off with a high pitched squeal of delight.

Oh, Lexi...

In the wee hours of the morn, Lexi had a nightmare. I wrap my wings tightly around her once she wakes.

"Ulquiorra," she wimpers clinging tightly to me.

"Hush, little one. Do not worry. I am here, Violeta..." I pause, "I'll always be here, Lexi."

When they say
You're not that strong

Three days after our arrival, I had an epiphany. In all these years of my hiding and hatred for vampire hunters. I have never not once met one in battle. Not that it would matter. After all they're not that strong.

You're not that weak

'Unlike her' My eyes shut once again as I fall asleep. My book no longer keeping my attention unhindered.

It's not your fault

I dreampt. Dreampt of her last night. As I look over at my charge a tear attempts to slip from my eyes. I loved my sister. It's all my fault.

When you climb
Up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope you're well

She giggles as she climbs up the stairwell to make breakfast. Why? I have no idea. "Lexi," I call upstairs, "come back down here. At least get dressed!"

She giggles again and ignores my calling. As if she ever did what I have asked. It makes my heart ache. It makes me think of her.

What you want
What you lost
What you had
What is gone is over

I scrabble upstairs as quickly as possible at the sound of gun shots. When I make it upstairs I see Lexi face down on the table. She's not dead yet but she soon will be.

Another shot from my left has me hastily skidding backwards. My tail wraps around one of our assailents tossing him into the wall. He slumps the ground dead. As I assess the others, thieves, my mind tells me, a man from behind shoots me in the back of the head.

"Well there you go monster. Take your little she devil to hades with you."

What you got
What you you love
What you need
What you have is real

In that instant my eyes snap open. I growl akin to an animal's. I launch my self at the man and toss him outside the window, shattering it under his weight. The other four look absolutaly terrified as the run away.

Slowly, I turn back to Lexi. Her breathing is speratic and shallow. Lexi is dying. A tear drips from my eye.

And I cannot save her.

It's not enough (x3)
I'm sorry
It's not enough (x4)

I curl around her. And try to keep her comforted. But it'll never be enough. Never.

When they say
Your not that strong
Your not that weak
It's not your fault

"And I burried her underneath the willow where I first met her in Glassglow. It was the least I could do. After all it was my fault."

"No it wasn't, big brother," Violetta says, hugging me tightly.

"She's right." Orihime and Keta say simultaniously.

"It's never your fault."

When you climb
Up to your hill
Up to your place
I hope you're well

I lean out over the balcony. A smile tugs at my lips. 'Be safe Lexi, I love you.'

It's not enough (x2)
No, It's not enough
It's not enough

I lay back down next to Hime. She wraps her arm round my waist, murmering something about pink flying lepard printed dumbo eared giant mice. I smile. Perhaps I could forgive myself. Maybe it is enough.