Dean woke up the next morning- although he didn't want to. He just wanted to remain in a permanent, death-like sleep. Nothing seemed worth waking up for now that he knew he didn't have Cas. Every time Dean blinked he just remembered the hurt in his betrayed blue eyes- how they had gone from deep, warm and comforting to sharp, icy and cold.

Dean knew it was his fault, if he had resisted more, if he didn't have an erection, if he...Dean was running out of reasons, but he knew that he was to blame.

Dean's head felt like it was repeatedly being whacked by an anvil, over and over. Dean let himself sink into the pain, and embrace it, until his head thumping was a comfort- it was something constant. But Dean knew this wasn't good, so he took some aspirin to calm the headache.

He didn't feel like going into work today, he knew Charlie would ask questions, she would probably make him talk to Cas, and he couldn't face those eyes again. He couldn't see the look of betrayal and hurt form on Cas' face again. He knew they would both be destroyed. Dean glared at the clock on the wall. It was 9am- but it was 8pm somewhere; Dean thought as he poured himself his first glass of whiskey.

He squinted as the brown liquor left a burning trail down his throat. He found solace in it, at least he could control this pain- anything to forget about...him.

Cas trudged into work that morning. He sighed as he opened the shutters and flipped the open sign so that it was facing the front. He still couldn't believe what had happened- he thought Dean and him shared something special, perhaps he had been wrong. Maybe Cas was just a toe in the water, a test to see where Dean's newfound bisexuality would lead. Maybe he was just using him. Cas sighed. Doubts scratched at his mind, before he relented and a flood of questions clouded his thoughts. Surely there had been something more? It felt different with Dean, it felt like the feeling was mutual. But Cas had never been a good judge of character, he had learnt that the hard way with...Balthazar. Cas shuddered at the thought.

He stared at the drawing Dean had made. It was sitting on the wall. Glaring at him. Mocking him. Before he knew it, Cas grabbed the paper from the board, he pulled it down and started tearing it to shreds, he continued to rip and destroy until the drawing was split into what seemed to be a million pieces. It was lying on the floor, broken and defeated. Cas slumped down and joined it. He sighed, staring at the remains of the drawing, his eyes filled with regret and stinging with tears. He drummed his fists on the floor in frustration, screaming out until even his voice had left him and he felt as though his lungs would give out. Some part of him wanted them to- he didn't see the point without Dean.

Cas was hurt and confused- why was he feeling bad? Dean was the one who had cheated. Dean was the one who broke Cas' heart, and left it the same way Cas had left his drawing- he wasn't the first but Cas knew it never got easier. Dean should be the one feeling bad, he should be the one feeling guilty. But Cas still hoped that he didn't. He hoped that Dean was happy. He hoped Dean would get everything he deserved, even if it was without him. Cas knew why he was feeling bad- he loved Dean Winchester. God- Cas thought to himself- why the fuck did I have to fall in love with him?

Dean and Cas had been avoiding each other for a week now, and they both grew more miserable with each passing day. Even breathing became a strenuous task. Cas groaned as his phone vibrated once more; it was Anna, calling again. He sighed and rolled his eyes before answering the phone- maybe he could fix things with his sister?

"Hi."

Cas' voice screamed exhaustion.

"Castiel! You actually picked up-"

"-what do you want Anna?"

Cas said brashly, he was getting impatient- he was sick of hearing people were sorry from the people he loved- why could they just not hurt him in the first place?

"Will you tell Dean I'm sorry!"

Anna blurted out, Cas could tell she was on the verge. He squinted with confusion. Why did she want to apologise to Dean?

"Why should I tell Dean you're sorry- as far as I could see you two were having a great time..."

Cas shut his eyes tightly, scowling as he remembered that evening; as he remembered crying himself to sleep that night, or at least trying to. He simply lay, weeping in his bed, whilst the crushing weight of the betrayal hit him like a ton of bricks.

Cas shook himself back to reality as Anna's shrill voice pierced his reminiscing thoughts.

"I'm sorry...I don't know what came over me..I just...he told me to stop..."

Cas' eyes widened at her last sentence.

"What did you just say?"

"He told me to stop," Anna whimpered. "But I didn't stop...he tried to push me away but he didn't want to hurt me...he didn't want it to happen...he didn't...I...I still don't fully understand why I did it...I just...will you tell him...tell him I'm sorry..."

Cas dropped the phone, staring blankly at the wall as the realisation of what had happened struck him. Hard. He didn't even flinch as the phone hit the ground with a thundering crash. He had to find Dean. He had to apologise.

Dean sighed as he arrived at work that morning. Every time he closed his eyes, he could still feel Anna's hands on him, and he could picture the stinging look of betrayal in Cas' eyes. Eyes that made Dean want to smash everything in his shop. Eyes that he would never get to love. Eyes that he could not escape, for he saw them every time he blinked.

Those very eyes were staring into his that very moment, interrupting- clouding his thoughts until they were the only thing he could focus on. Dean could feel his tear stained eyes growing heavier at the sight of them- Cas' eyes were also filling with water. Dean jumped slightly as Cas pulled him into a hug; a deep warm hug that meant comfort and safety.

He looked at Cas, confused. Cas wiped a tear from the side of his cheek before he spoke.

"I love you, Dean Winchester."

He pressed a soft kiss to Dean's lips, before pulling away. Dean was about to speak, but was silenced as he felt Cas finger on his lips, shushing him.

"Dean- I know what really happened, Anna explained everything- I'm sorry that I didn't give you a chance to."

Dean's gaze softened as he looked at Cas. The apology was sincere, unlike many Dean had been given before.

"I love you too."

Dean whispered in a low, husky voice. He licked his lips before pulling Cas closer for another kiss. Their lips collided, Cas brushed his tongue against Dean's lips before exploring his mouth. They kissed each other hungrily, Dean traced patterns with his hands on Cas' back, while Cas had placed his hands on Dean's shoulders, he gripped them tight before pinning Dean against the wall, kissing him more roughly as the kiss deepened.