/- Found Chap. 4

How stupid could he be? Had he really said that? He didn't remember saying that. Hell, after they found Tony relatively safe and unharmed his brain had gone from being in overdrive to giving in to the exhaustion it felt. That wasn't an excuse though. What he'd said was cruel and all together uncalled for. Damn it, Tony had already been on unsteady ground; that careless comment just made it worse. Now he had no clue how to fix the mess he had created. Well, he hadn't exactly created the mess that was Tony's psyche, but he surely hadn't helped clean it up with that stupid, stupid comment.

He could hear Ducky's voice in his head reaming him out for his thoughtless words toward a young man who clearly needed a gentler touch. Why did he always seem to do the wrong thing where Tony was concerned? That was a question for later; right now, he had fix this mess with Tony before he lost the kid completely. Punching the elevator button and heading to the morgue, Jethro Gibbs, for the first time in a long time, felt lost.

"What the hell's the matter with you, you idiot?"

Tony had his own insecurities to deal with, he sure didn't need Gibbs airing any of his now. It was such a fine like he had to walk with Tony. Offering any type of affection or comfort was often met with skepticism, while casual indifference was preferred most of the time. Usually, that was just fine with Gibbs. He wasn't good at all that emotional crap anyway. This wasn't the usual though. Gibbs had begun seeing the cracks in his agent's armor months ago. He just wasn't sure what to do about it. Tony would never let anyone get close enough to help him.

"Duck, we've got a problem."

"No, Jethro, you have a problem. I warned you to tread carefully with him."

"I listened!"

"Not well enough it would seem. Whatever possessed you to say something so harsh to that boy? You know how insecure he is normally."

"I don't even remember saying it, Duck."

"Well, regardless of what you recall, it's clear young Anthony remembers it all too well."

"How do I fix this?

"You can't. You told the lad, in not so many words, that you, and in turn the team, were better off with him dead! Have you any idea what kind of damage you've done to him? He trusted you, Jethro, not to hurt him. He put his faith in you in hopes that you wouldn't be like his father."

"I'm not like his father! From what I've gathered, that man didn't even deserve the damn title."

"You don't know how right you are, my friend."

"What do I do now?"

"You beg and plead with him to forgive you. You try your hardest to convince him that you were out of your head with worry. You tell him that while you are a wonderful person, you are also emotionally constipated and haven't the foggiest idea as to how to relate him about anything that isn't work."

Gibbs sighed and leaned up against the wall. This was such a clusterfuck and it was entirely his fault. He was a grade A bastard at the best of times. Everyone knew that. Why had Tony thought he would be anything else?

"Maybe because he needed you to be something else. He needed an anchor to hold and you shoved him away."

Determined to fix this, Gibbs slipped out of the morgue and headed back to the bullpen. He needed to have a conversation with his Senior Agent. He needed to get himself under control first, though. Tony was bound to be unsettled after all this. Gibbs wanted to be on an even plain when they talked. He had already messed up with Tony once this week in a big way. He didn't need to do it again now.

Slipping into the bullpen and over to his desk, Gibbs sat and glanced out at his team. Kate, methodically scanning cold case files, McGee, typing away on the computer re-running some financials and DiNozzo…was gone?

"Where the hell is DiNozzo?"

Kate and McGee shared a knowing glance that didn't escape Gibbs notice.

"Kate?"

"He found something in one of his cold case files. He said he was going to check it out."

"Neither of you bothered to go with him?"

"He said he was fine on his own, Gibbs. Tony's a good agent, he'll be alright."

Tony was an exceptional agent, but he still needed someone to watch his back. After getting no answer on the phone, Gibbs dialed Abby and had her trace Tony's cell phone. Grabbing his coat and the file Tony had been reading, Jethro Gibbs darted out of the building and toward Tony.

"What did you find, Tony?"