(Don't know if I'll get another chapter done before the weekend...but I'll try. Thanks for all the encouragement on the next 'book' and reviews! Enjoy!)

Chapter 29

Jesse came through the doors of the hospital, having followed Cody inside and brushed the snow off his coat. Winter was finally coming down out of the mountains and into Tahoe proper. It had begun to snow early that morning in town and had been coming down at a steady pace since then. The forecast was talking about a possible two feet of snow in Tahoe before this storm system moved on. Thankfully it had deterred a number of the press from stepping out of their vans and had actually driven many of the last remaining away.

Clara had been in the hospital for over three weeks and with statements by Sheriff McBride and Lisa Elliot, the press got as much information about Shandra Lee's side of the story as they were going to get. After multiple attempts to reach her in the hospital, many of the news stations had begun to leave after the first week, by the end of the second, a majority of those remaining were paparazzi from magazines and they too were now gone. The only ones left were a few rag reporters that seemed to want to do nothing more than cause problems. But thanks to the snow and cold, even they seemed to have had enough.

Jesse and Cody had spent two days at Clara's cabin scrubbing the blood stained floor, cleaning up the fingerprint powder that was everywhere and putting the cabin back to rights. Jesse spent time patching the bullet hole in the quilts and blankets that had been damaged when she'd been shot through them. He'd had to bring two of them down to be washed to get the blood stains out of them but they were now back at her cabin and the bed freshly made. They'd tried to make it look as though nothing had happened. They had closed up the cabin for the winter with shutters over the windows since they didn't know when she'd be able to get back to the cabin. Jesse had sent Cody over to get her horses and what few chickens she had left only a few days after she'd been shot. They had made short work of the chickens, canning what they didn't eat, since the birds weren't meant to be kept alive during the winter in the higher elevations.

They'd managed to make it down twice off the mountain while she was recovering. Matt had been swamped at work and the weather had changed in the higher elevations, bringing several large snow storms that had buried Jesse and Cody in for a few days until they could dig out enough to get the snow mobiles out and get down the mountainside to the station.

The doctors had finally given Clara a clean bill of health the day before and planned to release her today if there were no further complications. She was still going to be dealing with the pain of the broken rib and the damage to her lung but she had healed well enough that the doctors were in agreement that any further progress was just a matter of rest and letting her body heal. With a sigh of relief, she had called Matt see if he or Jesse could bring her a change of clothing so she could leave wearing something that fit and was at least warm.

Matt was to meet up with them in a few minutes with a duffle bag of clothing for Clara since he had been the one to make the trip up there to fetch what she had needed. Lisa had told them last night that Clara was headed back to LA once she was released. There were issues she had to take care of back there legally as well as needing to recover while waiting for the attempted murder trial to take place before going after Randall and her parents for stealing her money. Matt hadn't said much last night during the conversation but he seemed a bit too quiet about the whole situation for Jesse's comfort.

Clara hadn't said anything about going back to LA when they had visited with her but the reality of it was she was from a different world and Jesse knew it. Cody had known her secret the longest but Jesse knew Cody had been silently hoping that she'd give up that life and stay at Jake's for good. With her attempted murder by her manager, she was now more or less free of his influence to return to her home in LA, return to her music or acting and able to continue on with her old life without the stress of what had driven her away from it in the first place. Jesse had been quietly hoping for his sons' sake she'd want to stay in Tahoe but after hearing what Lisa had to say, he knew his hopes weren't enough to make it a reality.

Matt came through the front doors of the hospital carrying a light gray duffle bag and brushed the snow from his hair. "Hey," he said as he came up to them.

Cody said nothing, just stuffing his hands into his coat pockets and looked at the floor. Jesse raised an eyebrow at this as they made their way to the elevators that would take them to the floor Clara was on. Once they were inside the elevator, Matt gave Jesse a 'look' that said he'd caught the change in Cody's mood too. A few moments later, the doors had opened and they stepped out, heading down the corridor towards Clara's room.

The bodyguard that Lisa had hired for Clara's protection when they left the hospital to head back to LA wasn't standing guard outside of her room as they approached. Upon looking in the door of the room they could see that many of the remaining flowers and arrangements were missing. A nurse was working to pack up several of the machines to begin putting the room back into order for the next occupant after Clara left.

"Excuse me ma'am," called Jesse, "But where is Clara Rodgers?"

The nurse looked up, startled and blinked. Recognizing the three men, she relaxed and smiled. "She's up on fifth. If you want to see her, you'll find her there. Otherwise you can wait for her here. I'm sure she'll be back down in a bit."

Jesse raised an eyebrow, "Can we leave her clothes here?"

The nurse nodded, "Sure." She came over and took the offered bag from Matt and set it on the bed, going back to her duties.

Matt looked at Jesse, then Cody. "I wonder what's up on fifth floor…."

As the three Hawkes men stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor, it was immediately obvious what this floor was for. The entire hallway was done up in bright colors with pictures of bears, bunnies, rainbows and balloons.

Matt and Cody exchanged startled looks but Jesse simply walked down the hallway, looking for the bodyguard he was sure would mark where Clara was. Spotting the man outside a sliding glass door, Jesse made his way down the hall towards him.

The doors looked automatic but the man sat to the side, keeping somewhat out of the way and watching those who came and went as far as staff and family. Inside the glassed in room was a children's ward. Outside the glass doors was a long nurse's desk that was obviously set up that way so that the staff could easily keep an eye on the children without having to leave their posts.

The three men walked over to the bodyguard and looked inside. Ten beds inside all showed signs of being occupied, though only four still held the children assigned to them. The other six children and several adults that must have been relatives were with them in chairs in front of a small dais near the back of the room.

Sitting in a chair there, dressed in scrubs was Clara. She still looked pale, her left arm in a sling though she used her left hand finger tips to hold the edge of an oversized book with big pictures while using her right hand to turn the pages. She was obviously reading to the children in the ward who seemed in awe that she was there at all.

"You three must be Jesse, Matt and Cody. Lisa said you'd be by." He jerked his head a little towards Clara in the room. "Kids saw on TV that Shandra Lee was in this hospital and several begged one of the nurses to see if she'd come see them before she left," supplied her bodyguard who remained sitting, looking relaxed, yet his eyes assessed everything going on around the area.

Jesse nodded to the man. He was glad that Lisa remembered to tell the man they were stopping by to see Clara. His eyes watched the kids and he smiled. He knew how persistent kids could be when they wanted something. He looked over at Matt to see that he was simply staring at Clara, his eyes never leaving her. Cody seemed dumbstruck for a moment then blinked as if coming back to himself.

"One of the nurses asked her if she'd come talk to the kids, maybe sign a few autographs, that sort of thing. Instead, she came up here and spent time with each kid in the ward, getting to know them. This is their naptime story she's reading to them," the guard said, looking up at Jesse with a slight smile. "She's been up here all morning…"

Jesse returned the smile and nodded, "Seems she's pretty good with kids, wouldn't you say son?" he said teasingly to Matt.

Matt blinked and looked over at his dad before rolling his eyes, knowing his dad was perhaps trying to hint at something. "Yeah," was all he could say as his eyes moved back to watch her. As she turned the page, she feigned an exaggerated gasp then scrunched up her face to look scary as she read the part from the evil stepmother in the story, causing several of the kids squeal with laughter.

"I don't see why you have to move back to LA...," Cody said for the second time. "You could just stay with us. We'd help take care of you until you can be on your own."

Clara was sitting on her hospital bed waiting for the doctor to come to give her one last check up before releasing her. She frowned a little, a touch of sadness to her features.

"Because having me around right now Cody would make your brother's job three times as hard with all the press trying to find where I was staying and getting lost in the snow or pestering the Rangers to take them up there or finding some way of getting into trouble. Besides, you and Jesse have already been snowed on twice so far and with the upcoming trials and court dates I have to be sure I can get out and be to court reliably every time. I can't guarantee that if I get snowed in," she tried to explain.

Matt had kept quiet about their discussion on the whole subject matter of her leaving Tahoe for LA. He thought it would be best if he didn't tell the others the real reason she was leaving or of her promises to return. He didn't want to get anyone's hopes up in case she couldn't follow through but it was best if no one knew how much it really hurt him to see her go.

She looked suddenly crest fallen. "I want to stay guys. I just….I…," before she could finish, the doctor entered the room, breaking off her statement.

"Come on you two. Let's give the lady some privacy. Matt, you've got your shift coming up in an hour anyway," said Jesse as he moved over to Clara. He put a hand gently on her right shoulder. "You call us if you need anything, even if it's just to talk. You need us for anything you know where we'll be." With that, he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her forehead since her cheeks were still swollen and bruised.

Cody went up to her still looking a little sullen, "Write to me?" he asked her quietly.

Her only response was to lean forward slightly and give him a kiss on the cheek, "I'll try," she whispered.

Jesse put his arm around Cody's shoulder and they left together, leaving Matt standing there as the doctor waited patiently. She looked up at Matt, wanting to say a thousand things to him and found her tongue not willing to cooperate. He moved over to her and she absently rubbed the spot on her chest above her sternum. "Don't know if this is heartache I'm feeling or leftover from you doing chest compressions on me…," she tried to joke.

He smiled with a touch of sadness in his eyes. "Take care of yourself," he said as he leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. Before she could respond with one of her own, he had stepped back, turned and walked out of the door. Her eyes followed him with desperation as she watched him walk out of sight. She had to force her body to sit where it was and not leap off the bed and go running after him. This left her alone with the doctor who had watched all of it with a neutral eye as if this were something he saw every day.

The doctor came over to her after a moment and pointed to her chest, "I would suggest that if that pain doesn't go away in a few months, you should come back and have him check it out."

She tried to smile at his joke but was too busy blinking her eyes quickly to keep the tears from falling to make it convincing.

Clara was sitting in a chair an hour later when Lisa arrived, staring out the window of her room. It had already been stripped of all of the flowers, machines and even the bedding, leaving only the occupant left to vacate it. She hated the fact that the snow was keeping her from seeing the mountains for the last time before she left Tahoe. She had been at war with herself for the last hour, telling herself that she was a fool for letting Matt walk away like that then turning around and telling herself that she had to do this to protect him and the others until things died down and the newness wore off the scandal.

"Are you ready to head back to LA?" said Lisa in a cheerful voice as she walked into the room, taking in the lone figure of the woman silhouetted by the thick layer of snow falling outside the window.

Clara turned her head to look at Lisa. "Not really," was her only reply as she got up out of her chair.

Lisa looked over the clothes she was dressed in. She was wearing her old faded blue jeans, her worn out work boots and an old, thick flannel shirt. Clara pulled the oversized denim jacket, lined in lambs wool, off the back of her chair and put her right arm in it and draped it over her left shoulder, buttoning it closed over the top of her left arm. All of her motions and the way she held herself seemed to speak of someone who was defeated.

"Hey, you'll get to come back. This is just a temporary setback," said Lisa as she motioned the bodyguard to come forward with the wheelchair. It was hospital policy that outgoing patients be taken to the front doors in a wheelchair. Why, she didn't know but if they insisted on it, they'd abide by it. She moved over to Clara and helped finish buttoning the old coat. "We'll need to get you a different wardrobe on the way back. Can't have you getting out of the limo at your place looking like this."

For one moment, Clara felt panic rise up in her throat and threaten to choke her. "No! I'm fine. I've got clothes at home. It'll be dark by the time we get there anyway," she tried to reason out. These were the last link she would have back to 'home'. She wasn't willing to give them up just yet.

Lisa blinked, "All right. No new clothes for now." With that, she let Clara get into the wheelchair and saw the pained expression on her face. "When was the last time you had a dose of pain medication?"

"Not since last night. They make me feel funny," said Clara a little crossly and she motioned for the bodyguard to hand her the gray nylon bag Matt had brought her earlier. Most of the things in her bag were bandages and medications the hospital had given her as well as prescriptions and directions on cleaning her wound and re-bandaging it. But tucked away, hidden amongst the papers and bandages in the bottom of the bag were a couple of Cody's scenic pictures, including one of the three Hawkes men together. On the back of that one was written 'Don't forget us' in Matt's handwriting. That alone had almost undone her when she'd seen it. She'd cried for some time and had to stop herself from calling him to tell him to come get her.

As the bodyguard pushed her out into the hallway, Clara kept her eyes down on the bag as if afraid it might disappear. Lisa spoke up as they walked. "I've made arrangements for your place to be cleaned and I've had the security company go in to sweep for bugs and any other monitoring devices. They've installed a state of the art security system since you insisted on letting all of your staff go. I made sure your fridge and pantry were stocked as well with things you could easily make yourself until you're able to use your left arm a little better. I'm having one of their security guards stay on the premises for the first few days until you can get some rest and settle back in. I'm sure the press will be trying to get a glimpse of you or get to you so it's best to have someone on hand to keep them away so you can focus on getting better."

Clara only nodded, "Thanks," was all she could manage. She was sure that once she got back to LA and managed to get some sleep, she'd be in a little better spirits but until then she felt drained and with the thought of leaving her cabin, Matt, Cody…it felt as though she was being drained a little more with each step the bodyguard took toward the exit.

As they reached the main level and came to the front door, Clara could see how deep the snow had gotten and watched as snow plows worked to keep the parking lot clear as more continued to fall from the sky. A baby-limo sat in front of the hospital and she let out a slight groan as the remaining reporters seemed to have sensed that only one person was classy enough in the hospital to warrant a limo, which meant she must be leaving. There must have been fifteen of them all with cameras at the ready, surrounding the front doors and the limo.

Lisa murmured something to the bodyguard and he let Lisa have the handles of the wheel chair as he moved to stand in front of Clara, saying something into a small radio he pulled out of his jacket. Lisa tapped her on her good shoulder. "Come on hon. Let's get you into the car. As soon as the driver gets the door open, we'll take you from here straight into the open back door."

Standing slowly, her hand gripping the nylon bag tightly, she sighed. "As my Great Uncle Jake would say, 'This ain't my first rodeo darlin'."

Within moments, the driver had come around the front of the car and had opened the back door and then moved in a way that would block extra space between the car door and the front of the hospital. Already cameras were flashing as they took his picture and that of the limo. Her bodyguard moved out ahead of them and the automatic doors of the hospital slid open, letting in the cold mountain air.

Clara took in a slow, deep breath of the snow and pine scented air until she felt that twinge of pain and then exhaled. She walked forward and as soon as she passed the threshold, the questions began to be shouted at her as several of the paparazzi tried to get closer to her even though her bodyguard and driver did their best to keep them at a distance.

"Shandra Lee! It's reported you tried to shoot your manager? Is this true?

"Did you try to take your own life?"

"How did you get those bruises on your face Shandra Lee?"

"What do you have to say to the allegations that your manager says he's been falsely accused of attempted murder?"

One question stumbled and blurred onto the other as she walked to the back of the limo, not bothering to look at any of them though she could feel them staring at her face and taking in her appearance. The flashes of light were almost a constant as picture after picture were taken.

Once inside the limo, she slid over so Lisa could join her and the door was shut quickly behind them, sealing out the noise of the questions. The driver moved around to the front and her bodyguard got into the passenger front seat. Within moments, the car was moving and they slowly pulled out of the parking lot as more, fainter flashes of light flickered behind them as a few last photos were taken of the retreating limo.

Lisa let out a slow breath, "Well, that went as expected. Let's just hope that when we get you home, we can keep them behind closed gates and hopefully you can get some much needed rest."

Clara didn't respond as she turned her head to look out the window at the falling snow that was obscuring her view of anything but the trees closest to the road. Perhaps it was for the best that she couldn't see the mountain that was her true home. It might be the one last thing needed to make her change her mind…but would that be such a bad thing?

TBC -