A/N: Thanks for all the lovely reviews. To whomever reviewed as 'babe', I apologize for the status mistake. It was not my intention to mislead anyone. As stated in my first A/N: this was originally going to be a oneshot. I just forgot to update the status. Thank you for reminding me, but please try to be a bit kinder.

Squirrel-speaking one: Nice to know someone admits their blasphemous ways.

Wawuchen: I'll try to see if I can work him in some more for you. :)

Sky: Weeee shaaaall seeeee.

Zerofangirl: Here you go. More seconds with Kakashi. XD

ON WITH THE SHOW!!!

Disclaimer: I'm entering college next year. I wish I had this kind of cash cow.

The Sitter

By: KitsuneArasi

-Traitor-Bitch-


"Hold on. Wait a damn minute here, asshole!"

"Naruto, watch your mouth."

"Sorry, 'Ruka. You're telling me that I'm going on a date tonight?"

"That was the plan." His bastard foster father arched a brow.

"The plan? How long have you had a fucking plan?!"

"Naruto!"

"Sorry! But, seriously! How long have you been making plans about my sex life?!"

"Who said anything about sex?"

"With you? It's implied."

"Really?" Kakashi cast a sidelong glance to Iruka, "Hmm."

"Eyes up, you perverted asshole!"

"Naru—"

"'Ruka! Seriously! You can't possibly blame me! I mean—I like Sakura! A girl! And that Sasuke guy is just plain creepy."

"'Creepy'? Stuck-up, I could understand. Cold, sure. Unnerving, of course! But 'Creepy'?"

"After he spent ten minutes arguing with me about his nephew's math homework, he went into the kitchen, acting all pissy. Another five minutes later, he sits down near us and stares at me for another hour before storming upstairs."

"…He does tend to hold a grudge." Kakashi's eyes creased in a knowing smile, though his mouth was hidden behind a book.

"Sure. A grudge. What the hell my stomach ever did to him, I'll never know. …I doubt it. The guy was staring at my crotch the whole time, like he was trying to place some weird ass voodoo curse on my dick."

"NARUTO!"

"It's not my fault he's trying to land me in a gay relationship with the King of Nookie Voodoo!"

The blonde made haste his exit, storming off to his room with the peace of mind unique to those who didn't care about the thickness of apartment walls.

"Make sure you wear your Levi's. They make your ass look really nice!"

Kakashi considered the subsequent crashing noise a personal accomplishment.

On the other hand, Iruka didn't look too happy.

"Hey, at least I'm trying to set him up with someone who can hold a conversation."

"Hn. Hn-hn-hn. Hn hn." Iruka glared pointedly.

"…That's not all he says, 'Ruka."

"I don't think he has much conversation in mind, judging by Naruto's description."

"He had to have been exaggerating. Sasuke's been practically asexual up to now."

"Key words: Up to now. You've consigned our son to an anti-social rapist who's had his trigger pulled."

Kakashi snickered, but the sound quickly died down.

"I hope you're happy." Iruka tossed a throw pillow at his head with considerable force.

Both book and pillow fell to the floor.

Iruka turned to leave.

"…Huh…I wonder if it was the ink…"

"You'll have plenty of time to ponder that on the couch tonight."

A pause.

"Alone."

Kakashi groaned.

A/N – REDUX: I enjoyed reading all of your reviews, and I'll be sure to get to answering your pressing questions. Do keep them coming, if you would. :)