A/N: Hi, everyone, here is the third chapter to my one-shot series of a bi and fem!Harri. The political climate got a little overwhelming for me, so I needed to take a step back from writing for a bit before continuing. But Bi-Visibility Day and National Coming Out Day came by not too long ago, so to all my bi readers, I hope you had a wonderful Bi Visibility Day. To all my queer readers, I hope you had a great National Coming Out Day :).

Timeline for Chapter Three: A few weeks before the Yule Ball

Summary of the chapter: Harri struggles with finding a date to the Yule Ball when she really wants to go to the ball with Cho Chang, but feels conflicted about wanting to because of her fear of coming out. She then makes a new friend who tries helping her.

Rating: T for references to sexuality, language

Chapter Three: The Problem With Wanting To Date Who You Want

Year Four

Harri was in the Great Hall with Ron and Hermione during dinner. While everyone else was eating, though, Harri was busy staring at the Ravenclaw table where her crush, Cho Chang, was sitting with her friends laughing and giggling with them. She began to daydream about one day making Cho smile and laugh like that and maybe even experiencing her first real kiss with her. She was daydreaming about it so much that she didn't even hear Hermione trying to get her attention.

"Harri…. Harri….. Harri!"

Hermione then decided to kick Harri in the shins in order to get Harri's attention, taking her out of her dream-like state.

"Ow!"

Harri cried out loudly enough for the Great Hall to go quiet for a moment and for everyone to turn and stare at the Golden Trio, wondering what the commotion was, but quickly went back to minding their own business. Feeling herself become embarrassed and blushing at causing such a scene as she saw Cho giving her a curious look, she then turned her attention to Hermione and hissed at her under her breath,

"What did you do that for?"

"I was trying to get your attention for the last five minutes, but you didn't seem to hear me," Hermione said. "Or were you too busy staring at Cho Chang?"

Harri could feel herself blush even deeper at having been caught and tried to deny it.

"I wasn't staring at her…"

Hermione interrupted her by giving her an exasperated look as if to tell her she knew better and for Harri to stop lying to her, and this shut the latter up.

"Why don't you just go talk to her? I'm sure she wouldn't mind," Hermione said.

"I can't just go up and "talk to her"!"

"And why not?"

At this, Harri was quiet for a few moments, a look of sadness on her face.

"Because…well…I am not really her type," Harri replied. "She seems to like guys like Cedric Diggory."

She said the last part with a bit of bitterness, and it was here that Hermione gave her a look of sympathy, but it felt more like pity to Harri. Although Harri did not hold anything against Cedric, he definitely seemed like a decent guy and he was very handsome, she could not help but feel some sort of jealousy towards him. Rumor was it that he and Cho were a thing, and it made Harri a little sad knowing that Cho wouldn't like her the way she liked her.

Ron, who had his mouth stuffed with food, finally looked up from his plate and asked, "Who are we talking about?"

Hermione gave him an annoyed look before finally answering. "We are talking about Cho Chang," she said.

"What, her? Blimey, you still have a crush on that Ravenclaw?!" Ron asked Harri.

She nods her head in confirmation.

"I honestly think you can do way better than her, mate," Ron claimed as he stuffed more food in his mouth.

"And why is that?" Harri asked, her tone getting a little defensive, wondering why Ron didn't like Cho Chang.

"Because she is a Ravenclaw!" was Ron's simple answer. "They act all high and mighty just because they are so smart."

Both girls just rolled their eyes at his answer. Hermione then turned her attention back to Harri.

"Anyway, I was trying to get your attention, Harri, to ask if you have a date to the Yule Ball," she said. "It is coming up soon, after all, and the Champions are expected to have dates."

Harri did not really want to talk about this particular subject. Not because she did not want to talk about it with Hermione, it was mainly because Harri knew that as one of the Triwizard Champions ('Unwillingly,' she added), she was expected to have a date for the Yule Ball, but more importantly, she was expected to show up with a male date. Really, though, she would have preferred to go to the Yule Ball with Cho Chang if no one seemed to care about the gender or the sex of the person's date and if the Ravenclaw seeker liked her back in that way. But the fact that people did care about the gender and sex of a person's date and that most likely Cho didn't like her back in that way made it hard for her to take who she really wanted to take to the Yule Ball with.

Realizing that Hermione was still patiently waiting for her answer, Harri finally mumbled out no. This made Hermione give her an annoyed look.

"Harri, you have got to find a date for the Yule Ball and fast!" she said. "The ball is only three weeks away, and it is tradition for Triwizard Champions to begin the first dance of the ball with their dates."

"Who are you going to the ball with then?" Harri asked her.

At this, Hermione turned beet red, and Harri was almost surprised by her reaction, wondering why she reacted that way.

"I…don't worry about who I am going with, that has already been taken care of," Hermione responded. "What I am more worried about is you getting a date."

"Taken care of? Does that mean you already have a date?" Ron asked.

"Never mind that!" Hermione snapped at him before turning her attention back to Harri. "Who do you plan on going to the Yule Ball with?"

"I don't know, Hermione," Harri snapped a little bit, getting a bit agitated by her pressure before calming down. "Just…just give me a day or two, I'm sure I'll have a date by then."

But a day went by and still Harri did not have a date to the Yule Ball. Then another day and still no date. Pretty much a whole week went by, and Harri still did not have a date for the Yule Ball, which meant that she only had two weeks left to find a date, and those two weeks were going to go by faster than she expected.

Harri was out in the courtyard sitting on one of the benches, wanting to be left alone. Mainly, though, she was avoiding Hermione because she was starting to constantly nag at her to find a date for the Yule Ball. Not only was Hermione nagging her, but even Professor McGonagall was starting to nag at her too. It was really starting to grate on Harri's nerves on how much pressure there was on her just to find a date to the ball all because she was a Triwizard Champion. If she wasn't a Champion and fourth years were allowed to go to the ball, Harri probably wouldn't even have to worry about finding a date, she'd probably just go by herself if she wanted to!

Truth be told, though, Harri did want to go to the Yule Ball with someone, but that someone was the same sex as her and was most likely taken, if the rumors about both Cho Chang and Cedric Diggory as a couple were true. As a Triwizard Champion, however, it was expected of Harri to have a male partner rather than a female partner as her date. With all the dancing lessons Professor McGonagall had the Gryffindor fourth years and above go through and the private talks she kept having with Harri about having a date for the Yule Ball, it was very obvious that she was expected to show up to the Yule Ball with a male partner.

As much as Harri found some of the boys from both Hogwarts and Durmstrang attractive, they were not who she wanted to go to the Yule Ball. They did not create butterflies in her stomach and make her feel all tongue-tied every time she saw Cho Chang. There were times where Harri thought of just throwing tradition out the window and just ask Cho out to the Yule Ball, but then she would stop and think to herself what Cho would think about her if she did and, more importantly, how would the whole school react if they saw her come to the ball with Cho, even if the latter agreed to? It was thoughts like that that kept her from doing that.

It was then that Cho and a bunch of her girlfriends were walking past her, and Harri watched her, feeling those butterflies in her stomach come back as she did. She caught Cho's eye, and Cho smiled and waved at her once she did. Harri responded by smiling shyly and waving back, feeling a blush creep on her face as she did. It was then that a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Perdón (1), may I sit next to you?"

Harri looked up to see who it was that was talking to her and found that it was one of the Beauxbatons girls.

"Excuse me?"

"I was wondering if I could sit next to you on the bench," the girl said, referring to the empty spot right next to Harri.

"Oh, um, yeah, sure, it's fine," Harri said. Although, truth be told, she just wanted to be left alone, but didn't want to come across as rude if she said that.

"¡Gracias!" the girl said with a smile before she sat right next to Harri.

The two girls sat there in a bit of awkward silence, just watching everyone in the courtyard go by, until Harri decided to steal a glance at the girl. From sideways, Harri could see that this girl was definitely beautiful, but then again, most of the girls from the Beauxbatons were beautiful. There was something a little different about this girl, though, and Harri couldn't exactly put her finger as to why she seemed different. Physically, the girl was very attractive: she was a bit darker than the rest of the Beauxbatons girls and her hair was dark brown that was long and curled at the ends. Her eyes were green as well, but not green like Harri's where her eyes had more of a jade-green like color, this girl's eyes were more of a dark green. The Beauxbaton girl also looked a bit taller than Harri, maybe about 5"7 or 5"8? She definitely looked different from all the other Beauxbaton girls who were pale-skinned and had light hair and light eye color, but Harri thought that she was rather beautiful.

The girl then turned to her and noticed her staring. Realizing that she had been caught, Harri blushed and turned away from her, not seeing the girl smile at her for this.

"I don't mean to intrude on your solitude, but I figured since we are sitting next to each other that we should introduce ourselves," the girl said as Harri turned to look back at her. "My name is Esperanza, Esperanza Castilla."

"I'm Hariana, but most people just call me Harri," Harri said as she shook the hand that Esperanza held out for her to shake, "but it is with an 'i' instead of an 'y' like they do with the boy's name."

"Well, then, Harri with an 'i' instead of a 'y', it is very nice to meet you," Esperanza said, making Harri laugh a little bit. "You wouldn't happen to be the Hariana Potter, would you?"

Harri hesitated to answer, feeling as if a whole set of praises were about to come just for being the Girl-Who-Lived if she were to say she was, but she decided to say it anyway.

"I am…"

"Has anyone ever told you that you look more beautiful in person than in the pictures?" came Esperanza's response.

It was this response that surprised Harri as it was a praise that she often did not receive when she first tells someone that she is the Girl-Who-Lived. Often times, she would receive a lot of praise on the fact that she had somehow miraculously defeated Lord Voldemort when, really, Harri puts more credit to her mother for defeating Lord Voldemort. But to receive a compliment about her physical traits was something she often did not receive.

Harri did not consider herself the most attractive female compared to the rest of her female peers. She even found Hermione more beautiful, even though she herself did not see herself that way. Harri found herself a little too skinny and her hair, no matter how many times she brushed it, it always stayed the same messy jet-black hair, just like her father's as both Remus Lupin and her godfather Sirius Black always told her. She felt as if her knees were a little too knobbly, and she also felt that she was more toned than other girls due to her playing Quidditch. Most of her female peers like Lavender and Parvati liked to gossip, talk about boys or the latest fashion, and put on make-up. Harri did not even know how to put on make-up! She has always been a tomboy from the time she was little. Mostly because her home situation made it impossible for her to "act like a girl".

The only physical attribute that she truly liked about herself were her eyes. It was more because her eyes reminded her of her mother. Often, people told her that she looked like her father, but had her mother's eyes, and, looking at pictures of her mother when she was alive, she indeed saw that she definitely had her mother's eyes. Her eyes were a jade-green color that they sparkled when she was happy and burned with fire when she was angry; at least, that's what people told her how her eyes looked when she expressed certain emotions.

She never really saw herself as beautiful, so she was very stunned to hear this older girl tell her that. Then again, she had been noticing boys starting to pay more attention to her and treat her more nicely. There has even been some boys from both Hogwarts and Durmstrang who have asked her out to the Yule Ball, but she had turned them all down gently, not necessarily wanting to go to the Yule Ball with them specifically; however, she only thought this new attention she was receiving was because of the fame that came with being the Girl-Who-Lived.

"Do you really think I am beautiful?" Harri asked Esperanza.

Esperanza gave her an incredulous look as if hearing that question was the most ridiculous thing she has ever heard.

"Why do you think that mocoso rubio (1) named Malfoy asked you to the Yule Ball?" she asked.

Harri nearly gagged at the thought of the memory of Draco Malfoy asking her to the Yule Ball. But Harri thought he only asked her so that he could win some stupid bet he made with his Slytherin friends, and there was no way in bloody hell she was going to give him the satisfaction, telling him that she would not go to the ball with him not even if she was the last man on Earth. Not even the blackmail he tried to pull on her would make her budge. When he tried doing that, Harri then told him that he had to be the most pathetic loser to resort to blackmail to get a girl to go out with him. It looked as if he was about to hex her, and Harri was ready to defend herself when Professor Allister Moody interrupted them, taking away house points from Slytherin for attempting to blackmail a student. Malfoy was angry at this, but relented, not wanting to provoke Moody and have a repeat of the 'Bouncing Ferret' incident. He left, but not before telling Harri that she'll regret saying no to him.

"How exactly did you know he asked me out to the Yule Ball?" Harri asked Esperanza.

"Ai, Dios mío (1)!" Esperanza exclaimed. "He wasn't exactly being very quiet about it, it was almost as if he wanted all three schools to hear that he asked the Hariana Potter to the Yule Ball."

At this, Harri laughed, remembering how Malfoy had loudly asked her out for everyone to hear and how she was embarrassed by the whole situation. Hearing the way Esperanza describe it, though, it made the situation almost sound comical. Then she thought of something that Esperanza said earlier.

"That word that you used to describe Malfoy…"

"Mocoso rubio?"

"Yes, that! What does it mean?"

"It means blonde brat in Spanish," Esperanza responded.

"Are you Spaniard?" Harri asked.

"Sí!" Esperanza responded. "I am from Madrid, Spain." She said this part with a bit of pride. "Although, I would advise not calling someone from Barcelona Spaniard, they actually get highly offended when you do. They consider themselves something different from Spaniards because they speak Catalan. Bunch of snobs, if you ask me."

"How did you end up in Beauxbatons?" Harri asked. "I always thought that everyone from there were from France…"

"Well, the majority of them are, but Beauxbatons also accepts students from Spain, Portugal, Belgium, and the Netherlands (2)," Esperanza replied.

"Oh," Harri simply said before continuing. "Sorry for assuming, I've had very few interactions with people from Beauxbatons and Fleur seems to be quite…"

"Interesting?" Esperanza finished for her.

"Well, that's a nice way of putting it."

At this response, Esperanza laughed and Harri couldn't help but smile, thinking how Esperanza looked even more beautiful when she had a smile on her face.

"Fleur can sure come across as a bit stuck-up and lacks certain social skills, such as tact," Esperanza began, "but once you get to know her, you find that she is really a nice person and there is more to her than what people think of her."

It was quiet for a few moments between them as they went back to observing people in the courtyard when Esperanza suddenly turned back to Harri.

"So, any chance of getting a date for the Yule Ball yet?" Esperanza asked. When Harri shook her head no, Esperanza continued. "Any idea of who you want to go to the Yule Ball with? Maybe I can help you ask them out."

There was really only one person that Harri had in mind of taking to the Yule Ball, but it was most likely not even allowed; plus, Harri still worried of what people would think of her if they found out she was bi-sexual. If she came to the ball with another girl as her date, the whole school will begin to question her and no doubt Rita Skeeter would turn this into a scandal at the possibility that Hariana Potter, the Girl-Who-Lived, was a dyke (3). Harri just did not think she was quite ready to face being ridiculed or worse by the whole school and even the whole wizarding world on the basis of her sexual orientation.

Harri shook her head at Esperanza's question.

"What about that Chinese girl that I notice you keep staring at?"

It took a minute for Harri to register the meaning of Esperanza's words, but once she did, she immediately felt herself starting to panic. She looked at her with wide eyes, mouth agape. While it looked like to an outsider that Harri just looked quite shocked at what Esperanza said (when in reality she was), the reality was that Harri was both shocked and frightened at the same time. No one noticed, but she could feel herself start to shake a little bit and her heartbeat racing at the thought of being outed because she made it so obvious that she had a crush on one of the most popular girls in the Ravenclaw House.

"Wh-What…What are y-you talking a-about?" Harri said, feeling herself stutter. "I was not staring at anybody! And besides that, she is not just some Chinese girl. She has a name, you know…"

"Alright, alright!" Esperanza said, putting her hands up as if she was surrendering. "¡Cálmete! (1) I didn't mean any harm by it or mean to scare you, I was only trying to help you…"

"Why do you want to help me?" Harri asked her, immediately becoming suspicious.

"Because I was once in the same exact position as you when I was your age…"

"What do you mean by that?"

Esperanza then gave her exasperated look. "Ai, Dios mío, must I say it outloud for you to understand what I mean?" she asked her.

It took a moment for Harri to realize what she meant. Once she did, her eyes went wide.

"You mean that you are a…?"

"A dyke? Yes, I am," Esperanza responded. "And I am very open about it too."

Harri gaped at her, staring at this beautiful woman. This beautiful and brave woman who dared be so open about her sexuality in an environment where she wouldn't be accepted. Harri suddenly saw this woman in a new different light, and she could feel herself becoming a little calmer now knowing that this woman did not mean any harm and had no intention of outing her, from what it seemed like.

"How?"

"You mean how I can be so open in an environment that is hostile to people like us?" Esperanza asked her. When Harri nodded at her question, she continued, "Well, I can tell you it was not easy, it was muy difícil (1)! I once too cared about what other people would think of me if they found out that I was a dyke, but the more I got scared, the more I became ashamed of who I was and I got to a point where I got tired of that. It took a lot of courage, but I finally came out and I found myself becoming less worried about what people thought of me the more open I was about it."

"Does anyone in your school know about your sexuality, even your Headmistress?" Harri asked.

"Mostly everyone knows of my sexuality, even the Headmistress, but the Headmistress has this 'don't ask, don't tell' policy," Esperanza replied. "It is a little bit like how those Muggle Americans have that same policy within their military, if you have heard about it."

"I have heard about it, actually, but only very briefly in the Muggle news," Harri said. "I have relatives that I live with who are Muggles, and I will sometimes hear them watching the news."

"Are most people accepting of who you are?" she then asked.

It was here that Esperanza then paused at her question as if deep in thought before finally answering.

"I would say that a good decent amount of people are accepting of it, at least the ones that matter," she said. "There are those who are more accepting of it and there are those who are not so accepting of it or can't understand it, like mi tío y mis abuelos on mi padre's side."

"I'm sorry, what?" Harri said, not understanding the words that Esperanza was saying in Spanish.

It was here that Esperanza laughed.

"¡Lo siento! I'm sorry, I forget that you English people don't know Spanish," she said. "I have a habit of switching from English to Spanish, so forgive me if I do this often. Mi stands for the possessiveness of me, so mi tío basically translates to "my uncle". I was basically talking about how both my uncle and my grandparents on my father's, mi padre, side aren't very accepting of my sexual orientation. They are a little more old fashioned. Mi madre, my mother, though, is a little more accepting of it. It took her some time to understand it, but I think she gets the gist of who I am as a person and tries her best to understand it, although she still struggles at times."

"What about your father?" Harri asked.

"Oh, he died on a diplomatic mission in Britain during the Great Wizarding War," Esperanza responded almost nonchalantly. "He was killed by one of You-Know-Who's followers."

"I'm sorry to hear that…"

"It's fine. Besides, losing one parent during the Great Wizarding War is one thing, but losing both parents is a whole different story. I can't imagine what it is like to lose both of mine, I have no doubt that my coming out would be even more difficult if I was to grow up with mi tío y abuelos."

"Well, believe me when I say, it probably would have definitely made your coming out more difficult," Harri said. Esperanza gave her a look as if she was wondering what she meant by that, and Harri decided to explain when she saw this. "My Muggle relatives are not the most nicest people on the planet, they don't like anything that has to do with magic or that they consider unnatural, so they don't speak very well of…people like us…"

Esperanza nodded in understanding. "I can definitely understand that, to an extent," she said.

There was a bit of an awkward silence between the two of them until Esperanza broke the silence again.

"I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I do know what you are going through because I have been where you are," she began. "I know what it is like to worry about wondering what people would think of you if they found out that you are a dyke because I have had those same thoughts, and those thoughts just caused me a lot of anxiety. Once I did come out, though, I found this immense relief because I felt like I didn't have to hide anymore. I did lose some friendships along the way, and it did hurt me, I am not going to lie about that, but I learned overtime that those who only have hatred and bigotry in their hearts are not worthy of my friendship or love."

"It's not that simple," Harri said with a hint of bitterness. "If I come out, people will look at me, the hero of the wizarding world, differently. I may not be able to walk around the halls safely without being harassed for being who I am or even hold a girl's hand or kiss them without someone staring. I already get enough attention on the fact that I am the Girl-Who-Lived and now a Triwizard Champion, I don't need any more attention on me on the fact of my sexual orientation as well."

"¡Caray! (1) You are a lot more than what I expected," Esperanza said. "I guess that having all that fame on being the Girl-Who-Lived isn't really all that, no?"

Harri shook her head at this.

"I didn't mean any disrespect," Esperanza said, continuing to try and encourage Harri. "Obviously, your situation is very unique and a bit more difficult than mine. I certainly was popular and I definitely lost it when I came out, but I never had any fame like you do, so I apologize if it seemed like I was trying to push you to come out…"

"No, you didn't, you are fine," Harri said. Although, truth be told, she did feel a little pressured, she just felt as if it would be rude to say so.

"You don't have to lie to me just to be polite," Esperanza replied when she saw through her lie. "You can be honest with me."

Harri was a little surprised by this response, but at the same time, she felt grateful that she was basically told that she didn't have to be polite just to hide her true feelings.

"Well, I guess I did feel a little bit of pressure…" she said. "It's just…I don't think I am ready to come out to the whole world just yet, I need to come out when I feel like I am ready."

"I know, and I understand that," Esperanza said. "If you ever decide to come out sooner rather than later, don't hesitate to ask me for help."

Harri just smiled at this, glad that a complete stranger who is just like her offered her support. It was definitely nice to feel that sense of support; plus, she was very beautiful too.

Esperanza then got up from her seat.

"I actually have to get going, but it was very nice talking to, Hariana Potter," she said. "If you need help with anything at all, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thanks, and it was nice talking to you as well, Esperanza," Harri said. She almost felt a tingle up her spine as she said her name, but she ignored it.

"Tú tienes un día bonito! You have a beautiful day!"

She then walked away, leaving Harri alone with her thoughts. After talking with Esperanza, Harri felt a giddiness in her that she couldn't quite explain, and her friends were looking at her strangely, wondering what got her in such a good mood. Hermione thought it had something to do with getting a date for the Yule Ball, but really, it had nothing to do with that and Harri was still dateless at the moment. Talking to Esperanza made Harri feel as if she wasn't truly alone in her thoughts and feelings, and Esperanza even offered her hand to help her. For someone who knows and understands what she is going through to offer a hand to help her out made Harri feel as if she could be a little less afraid of being out in the open the way Esperanza was.

'Maybe one day I'll come out, but only when I am ready,' Harri thought, unaware that she was going to be outted after the Yule Ball.

A/N: So there is chapter three. Once again, I welcome constructive criticism, but not flames.

(1) Translations:

Perdón-Excuse me or pardon me

mocoso rubio-According to the Google translation, it means blonde brat.

Note: most of my translation comes from Google Translation and that thing isn't always accurate, so any Spanish speakers who wish to correct me on my Spanish grammar or translation, go right ahead. I am giving you permission for it.

Ai, Dios mío-Oh my God

¡Cálmete!-Calm down!

muy difícil-very difficult

¡Caray!-Wow! or Blimey!

(2) According to the Harry Potter Wikia, Beauxbaton school accepts people from these different countries. I decided for Harri's new friend to be from Spain because I am a little more drawn toward the Spanish culture

(3) The term 'dyke' was once used as a derogatory term for people in the UK who identify as a lesbian, but the lesbian community has turned that term around and used it as a way of showing pride

Upcoming chapter: Harri goes out shopping for a dress for the Yule Ball with Hermione and finds out who Hermione is going to the Yule Ball with. Harri tries to go to the Yule Ball with a female friend, but is told by her Professors she is forbidden from doing so and ends up getting a date to the Yule Ball with a fellow male Housemate instead