Emmett didn't normally walk her to practise, so Bella was momentarily dislocated, opening the door to his large presence.
"Oh," she said, "hey."
"Hey yourself, Bella, you ready?"
"Almost," she mumbled, tucking a few last things into her bag. "Wasn't expecting you." Then she looked at him, suddenly tense, hand paused midway between desk and bag. "Is something—?"
"No," he answered quickly. "Everything's fine," he said, more calmly. His shifting body language told her otherwise.
"Emmett?" Bella asked, eyebrows curved down meaningfully.
His mouth twisted. He sighed. "I have a note for you."
This only confused her more.
"A note?"
"From Edward."
"Seriously?"
"Said he would only do this once." He said, holding out a cream-coloured envelope in his hand.
She felt like she was back in grade school again, passing notes between….friends, but she took it. The paper felt thick, and smooth under her fingers.
Emmett was leaning against the jamb, holding the door open. "You need a minute, or something?"
"Sure," she said, feeling a flutter of nerves. She thought, for a moment, that perhaps it would be better to wait until later.
Curiosity got the better of her though, and she slipped the flap open. The letter was handwritten, beautifully, his writing curled over itself in a precise slant. It read:
Dear Bella,
I've offended you again, and for this, I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I might do to repair the hurt I've given, but I hope you'll tell me.
My only desire is for you to be happy. With, or without me. You know my heart in this matter, but I will respect your wishes.
I hope that we can resume seeing each other, as friends, when you're ready.
Edward.
She had so many feelings tumbling around her midsection, she jumped when Emmett rapped at the door.
"Ready?" he asked.
She cleared her throat. "Yeah." She wrenched the door open again. "Thanks."
Emmett's face scrunched up in confusion as his eyes swept the space. He walked past her, not asking to come in. Bella looked at him, uncertain of this strange behaviour.
"You have anything with a transmitter in it?" he asked softly.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I...uh, don't think so."
"You're sure?"
She shrugged, "why?"
"Because I thought I just heard one. Coming from your room."
He was looking around, sniffing inaudibly, when he stopped abruptly. Tucked behind the lip of the desk was a tiny box, about half the size of a dime. He didn't move it, but backed away, his finger to his lips.
"Oh," he said softly, "there it is. You got one of those fancy new RFI luggage tags."
He moved his hands towards her, mouthing "play along."
"Oh right. That one, um—"
"Edward bought for you," Emmett finished.
"Right," Bella said lamely, looking at him in confusion.
Emmett jerked his head towards the door, motioning for her to keep silent as they went.
When they were a good ten minutes away from the dorm, he pulled out his phone. His voice was so low, she could only see that he was talking, his muttering rapid and sibilant.
"Emmett?" she asked. "What was that all about?"
"There's a bug in your room," he said, hanging up the phone. "Jasper'll be over in a bit, check it out. Get rid of it. Make sure there aren't any others."
"A bug?"
"Yeah. A good one too."
"A bug, as in—"
"Yes, as in someone wanted to hear your conversations. Or anything else that's going on in your room."
He didn't comment when she blushed a vibrant red.
She felt sick to her stomach.
He waited for her to pace a bit around the path they were on.
"You OK?" he asked.
She shook her head. "Who would want to bug my room?"
"A vampire," he said quietly. "At least from the smell. Not one I know," he added. "Sorry."
Great.
Just great.
"Ohh," she groaned, "will Edward—?"
"Find and freak out? Yup," Emmett said, and shrugged. It wasn't like it could be helped around a mind reader. "Don't worry about it Bella."
"Sure," she said, utterly unconvincing, still pacing.
"Do you want to go to practise?"
No, she thought. I want to scream and beat something to a pulp.
"Right. Practise it is." She didn't want to go back to her room.
Their relay run on the indoor track was all work, and very little play, and when their time was up, the queasy and uncertain feeling remained.
She supposed she shouldn't have been surprised to find Alice waiting for her outside the change room. "So," she said. "Ready for our sleepover?"
"Sleepover," Bella said, turning this word over in her mind.
"Yes," Alice said, slipping her arm around Bella's shoulders, as Sam waved, approaching, "You forgot?"
"Must have," Bella said, trying to ask Alice a silent question with her perplexed features. Sam was too close for open ones.
"You walking back, Bella?" Sam asked, smiling politely at Alice.
"Sorry," Alice said. "Stealing her for the night. Can we give you a ride back?"
"No, no," Sam said, waving her hand, "I'm good."
"I'll walk you home, Sam," Leo called, grinning.
He had jogged ahead of Dave and Jun, who were trying to whip their towels at each other. When they caught up with him, Jun slipped Bella's hand into his.
To her very great credit, Alice did not react. At all.
"Wanna grab dinner tomorrow?" he asked Bella quietly, so, in theory, only she could hear.
"Yeah," Bella said. "Talk in the morning?"
"Sure," he said, then leaned down and kissed her goodbye, this gesture very public, and very clear.
When Bella, Alice and Emmett climbed into the car, Alice muttered an inaudible "don't" to Emmett, seeing him ruminating on what he'd seen between Bella and Jun. "It'll only make things miserable for the rest of us." She knew he loved to bug Edward when he could, but this was beyond the bounds of all fair play.
"Spill the beans, Alice," Bella said.
"Just the one bug," she said. "No idea where it's transmitting to. Jasper's checked the rest of the area as much as he can, and he'll sweep the other areas you go to tomorrow."
"I meant the hijacking," Bella clarified.
Alice just looked at her. "Do you want to spend the night there?"
Bella's stomach tipped sideways. No, not really. But…
"Will...Edward be there?" she asked quietly.
Emmett rolled his eyes.
"No," Alice said, refraining from adding "of course not." Sometimes, Bella was just obtuse.
"If we can stop by, though, I need to get some things—"
"Please," Alice said. "You think I'm unprepared?" She rolled her eyes melodramatically.
"Schemer," Bella said, but kindly.
"Totally," Alice agreed. "You're so resistant to wardrobe upgrades, I've had to bug your room to get you away from it, so I can slowly inoculate you against poor fashion. Awesome. My plan is working."
At least Alice could still make her laugh.
She hadn't been to their home yet, and she felt mildly nervous, pulling up to a surprisingly modest house on a quiet street near campus. It featured, as the others did around it, a large yard, the age of the neighbourhood predating the postage stamp lots of modern urban planning. Even in the wet dark of October, Bella could easily see the tall Douglas firs that dominated the front, and the large bare reach of the ancient Maple behind it.
It looked to be slightly newer than their house in Forks, though clearly still a centenarian. Its sturdy lines were capped with the distinct inverted triangles and cut-outs of the Edwardian era.
Bella snorted out a laugh.
"Something funny?" Alice asked, eyebrows pulled together as they headed up the stairs.
"No," Bella said quickly.
Alice frowned. "Sometimes, not looking at your future sucks."
Bella smiled, "Sorry, it's just...this house is Edwardian. Isn't it?"
Alice blinked, and then laughed, opening the front door.
The inside matched Bella's expectations. Dark wood framed the deep colours of the entranceway, the high and bright lights illuminating the elegant staircase.
"So different," Bella murmured, thinking of the bright and open house in Forks.
"Didn't have time to renovate," Alice said. "But it's fairly quiet, and the houses around us aren't occupied." She pointed out the various rooms on the main floor. "Kitchen's stocked. Let me show you your room."
"My room?"
"Told you I was prepared. Figured you might need a space if you had a party animal living next door or something."
Or something. Like a vampire bugging her room.
Sure.
Alice, at least, hadn't gone overboard. It looked a lot like a dorm room. A bed, a desk, a dresser. The closet was small. Perhaps, Bella thought, that would have forced Alice to reign herself in.
But, no. It was packed.
"Here," Alice said, pointing to the dresser and moving her hand from the top to the bottom of it. "Should have everything you need."
Bella nodded, taking in the space, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "Thank you," she said quietly.
"You're welcome," Alice answered, sitting down beside her. "You OK?"
Bella nodded again, "Where's...Edward?"
"Out," Alice answered, avoiding giving a precise location.
"Alice," Bella asked, "is he standing outside?"
Alice huffed out a breath. "And if he is?"
Bella blushed. "It's your house," she said softly, her hand gesturing widely, encompassing more than just Alice, "I'm sure there's enough space for us to be apart without him being...inconvenienced."
Alice rolled her eyes. Edward had been such a pain in the ass of late, she'd been thrilled that Bella's night here would be pretext for him not to be.
"Is that you giving my brother an inch?" she asked, eyebrows raised.
It was Bella's turn to smile. The confused and large feelings were never far beneath the surface, but it was good to be with Alice. To be able to be open about what was going on.
Bella shook her head a bit. "It just feels mean, not to," she said softly.
She felt mean in a lot of other ways too, but she shoved those feelings away.
"Alright," Alice said, standing. "Why don't you have a shower and determine what offends you least clothes-wise, while I go see about finding you something to eat?"
"Thanks," Bella said, and when Alice closed the door, leaned forward and pulled open a dresser drawer. She breathed out a sigh of relief. She'd imagined silk, or lace, or god-knows-what-else, but found only plain cotton jersey pajamas.
"I'm not an idiot!" Alice called from downstairs.
Bella laughed, and after pulling them out, walked to the bathroom.
Once she was showered, and dressed in clean clothes, Bella felt much more herself. She walked downstairs slowly, wanting to give Edward fair warning if he meant to keep his distance.
In the kitchen, Alice was flipping through a magazine, seated at a cozy kitchen table. At the space across from her was a dome-shaped metal cover, either side flanked by cutlery. The smell was enticing.
"Hungry?"
Bella's stomach growled appreciatively.
Alice tilted her head towards the open space, and Bella sat down. Taking the cover off, she found a plate of delicately prepared ravioli. Her first bite only confirmed what her nose knew. "Wow," she said, "I didn't know you cooked."
"Don't," Alice said, flipping a page. "Edward does, though."
Oh.
"I'll pass along the compliment." Alice smiled, and then looked over the pages at Bella, as if to say, I told you so.
Bella shrugged and ate.
"So," Alice finally said. "I'd be all for girl talk, but seeing as we're not alone, I'm kinda restricted."
Bella smirked. "What do you want to know?" she asked, and pulled out her phone from her robe pocket. She waved it at Alice.
Alice cocked an eyebrow at her, and pulled out her phone. So, you and Jun? she typed.
Bella blew out a breath, looking at her. Good, she wrote back.
More eye-rolling from Alice. And? was the response.
Bella couldn't help but think it would be so much easier to just talk about this.
But not with Edward listening outside.
Or hearing his sister's thoughts.
She tentatively typed in: we're seeing each other. Very casually.
People who are casually seeing each other aren't kissing the way Emmett described.
Bella felt her face flush a deep mauve.
It's not serious, she typed, hitting the send button with insistence.
Alice just looked at her incredulously, hands open and spread out from her shoulders.
He knows I can't commit to anything serious. He can't either.
Why? Alice tapped into her phone.
This should provoke a reaction, Bella thought, raising her eyebrows as she typed a reply. Because his parents will arrange a marriage for him.
Alice accepted this, shrugging. Fair enough.
It took Bella a minute to realize that Alice wasn't being droll, she'd just lived long enough to remember when it was commonplace, or had seen it elsewhere.
Alice's next question arrived. I know you wanted more with Edward. Are you getting what you wanted?
Sometimes Bella wondered if the Cullens just dropped all their filters when she was around. This felt like one of those times.
"No," she managed to say through her renewed blush. She wasn't ready for that.
And she was done talking about this.
"Want to play makeup or something with me Alice?" she asked lightly.
Alice sat up. "Really?" She was smiling brightly.
"Beats the third degree," Bella mumbled, lifting up her phone while smiling.
"Stay right there!" Alice squeaked.
She was gone and back in seconds. "Hands on the table," she said, pulling out a nail kit.
Bella obliged, noting Alice didn't ask what colour she'd like. She admired her skill, not for the first time, watching her apply the layers of dusty rose expertly.
"How's the tome going?" Alice asked, wanting to ease some of the tension she could still feel wafting her way.
"Oh," Bella smiled, "Pamela." She grinned. "Good. About a third through."
"I don't know how you can stand it. It was reprehensible when it was published, but now—"
"Not a guide to dating and romance, Alice. Just a classic." What was everyone's problem with Pamela? "The way people have reacted to it, you'd think I was attracted—"
"To controlling men with potentially unhealthy motives?"
Bella looked at her darkly. "Or perhaps they see me in that role?" She kept her voice light, but there was a bitterness there. "Wouldn't want to corrupt anyone's virtue," she grumbled.
Alice let her gaze meet Bella's, still applying the polish with precision. She was about to say something, when Jasper's sudden presence in the room made Bella jump.
"Sorry," he said, seeing it. He sat down, moving more slowly than he needed to. "We found three more," he said, "two in your house in Forks, and one outside."
Dinner squirmed uneasily in her stomach.
"Any clues who left them?" Bella asked, fairly certain of the answer.
"Another vampire scent we don't know. An old trail." He lifted his shoulders in apology. He would have liked to give her more information.
It should have shocked her more, she knew, to know she was being listened to. Surveilled. That Charlie was as well.
"Do you think," she asked softly, "it's the Volturi, Alice?" She swallowed. Was her time up? Her opportunity...gone?
Alice shook her head. "If it is, it isn't coming from the top." She had finally put the polish away, her eyes taking on that glassy look that her family understood to take in more than the physical space in front of her.
"And Victoria?"
Alice shook her head again. "She's...indecisive. I see places, but I don't know where. Last minute decisions. Nothing firm. She must know I'm watching."
"And Charlie?" Bella asked. "Is he—?"
"He's safe. I don't see anything happening to him. Unless," she said, "you want to know—?"
"No," Bella said, shaking her head, "I don't." She reminded herself why she had set these parameters, and then looked at Jasper. "Did you see him? When you were there?"
"Just as he left," he said kindly. "He seemed happy."
Bella nodded, still worried, but trying to let it subside. Edward wanted her human. This is what humans did. They worried. Then they let it go. There was nothing to be gained by it.
She needed to just go on living her life.
While Vampires bugged her home, and listened to her and her father's intimate conversations.
Alice tapped her finger on Bella's now dry fingernails. "Done," she said, cocking her head to the side. "You look kinda tired."
"I am. Thank you, both, for...everything. I know my being in your lives complicates things. A lot."
She had stood, and Alice had too, pulling her into an abrupt hug. "You're family. Don't ever forget that. We take care of our own."
Bella nodded again, the lump in her throat keeping other words from coming out.
"I want you to have this time, Bella, and we'll make sure you do. To be human, and do all the things you want to."
Bella said quiet good nights, and then found her way back upstairs. The bed was softer than her one in residence, and the duvet heavy and warm. The smells of the house, and this room, were so familiar, so comforting, even in their newness to the Cullens, that she found herself missing, keenly, Edward's presence, and more specifically, his touch.
She flopped over on the mattress, curling her legs up. Knowing he was close just made the wanting worse. All she would have to do was whisper his name.
She took the fresh memory of Alice's temperature, and reminded herself what it had felt like to kiss him, to touch his face, and to feel his hands on her.
It had felt like wanting.
Always wanting.
And often, not wanted, she reminded herself.
Then she remembered their trip last spring, and the utterly painful rejection she'd felt then.
"No," she told herself, as if this would dislodge this wanting, and tossed to her other side, mind tossing itself into a restless sleep.
Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.