Disclaimer: Okay, if you people think Alice in Wonderland is mine, you're madder than the Hatter and Hare combined. Now, now! Stop that! The next bloody lunatic to throw a teacup at me goes out of the window! It ain't mine, I tell ya!

A Brief Author's Note: Here, we have the third in the LJ 10_prompts community's Table 11 and one thousand words. This one really comes from the heart. See, I live in Georgia and the summers are BRUTAL. And the air really does smell like wet dog breath on some days, 'specially if you live near a body of water or a paper mill – which I do.

Sweat

"Horses sweat, Alice," her mother had corrected sharply one painfully hot, poisonously humid day. "Men perspire. Ladies glow."

No, she thought fiercely. Women could sweat. Alice knew it well. Summer had come to Underland – a burning, boiling, blistering summer. The air itself stank like Bayard's breath in the morning. The Hound lay stretched out, panting, under a drooping rosebush. His pups fought each other – nipping ears and tails with sharp puppy-teeth – over scraps of shade. Their care-worn mother growled ominously when a scuffle came too close to her staked claim beside a garden shed. The Cheshire Cat curled like a fuzzy meatloaf in a tree, glaring malevolently at anyone who looked his way and twitching his tail.

Thackery switched to iced tea, which calmed him down a bit. The Bandersnatch turned fretfully on his back in his stable, itching. Mallymkun ceased challenging people to mouse-duels and spent her days inside a teapot, sulking. No one knew where the Hatter disappeared to. Even Queen Mirana wilted a slight fraction. Days seemed to last longer in Underland, and no one saw relief coming anytime soon.

Sweat dripped down Alice's body, causing her filmy sky-blue dress, a gift from her beloved Hatter, to stick to her uncomfortably. She opened every window, pulled her hair up, took it down, put it back again, and stood in the icebox until Thackery threw a fish at her. Queen Mirana, determinedly serene, suggested a walk across the grounds. Moments like this reminded Alice: even the comparatively-sane Queen was mad too. But anything was better than sitting in her bedchamber, roasting and miserable.

"Yes, Majesty," she agreed, lacking anything constructive to do.

There was no breeze – only sun, more sun, and the stench of wet dog breath permeating everyone's nostrils. Queen Mirana glided along in full regalia, poised and beautiful as if the heat couldn't touch her. Alice, on the other hand, looked rumpled, sweaty, and quite put out. She felt her skin tingle unpleasantly under the day-star's rays. Her skirt clung to her legs and the bodice of her dress rubbed and pinched in places she would rather not think about.

"Where are we going, Majesty?" she asked when the radiant Queen led her down an unfamiliar path.

She received only an enigmatic smile and wanted to roll her eyes, but the heat hadn't gotten the better of her yet! The two women continued down the slightly-overgrown path until Alice heard running water. Was there a fountain? And for goodness' sake, if they were going to look at fountains, why not one closer to the castle! Queen Mirana practically shimmered as she rounded a hedge's corner – Alice followed, still wondering what the mystic woman had in mind.

There, perfect and placid, lay a pond fed by a creek – a small waterfall tied the whole thing together like a painting.

"Your Majesty, where are we?" inquired Alice.

The White Queen looked mischievous.

"Could you help me with this, Alice?" she asked in reply, attempting to open the back of her dress – her corset wouldn't quite let her arms go that way.

"I beg your pardon?"

Queen Mirana tilted her head.

"Have you never been wading before?"

"No, never," replied Alice.

"Well if you did, would you go in a dress?" the Queen queried.

Alice glanced skyward in thought.

"No, Majesty, I suppose I wouldn't."

The Queen actually giggled.

"Then get out of that sticky thing and help me with this, if you please!" she encouraged, undoing three buttons. Alice, figuring the heat had overtaken them both, hurried over and helped her with the rest. Mirana, White Queen of Underland, climbed out of her petticoats, kicked off her shoes, pulled off her stockings, and splashed into the pond in her chemise! Alice peeled off her sticky, sweat-soaked dress, carefully folded it, and set beside her own shoes.

"Do come in, Alice," called the Queen, looking quite silly in her chemise and crown. "The water is fine!"

Alice stood for a moment, flabbergasted. But she snapped out of it, shrieking, when ice-cold water splashed her front. Queen Mirana smiled innocently. Could one splash a Queen in Underland? Alice wondered. As more icy water soaked her sweat-frizzed curls, she decided to find out and charged into the water in nothing but her slip! Soon, the two giggled and splashed each other, grateful for relief from the heat and someone to have fun with.

Neither noticed the eerie, slit-pupiled eyes watching them from a nearby tree. Silently, the eyes' owner evaporated and re-appeared in a room smelling strongly of mercury and other . . . fumes. There stood the Hatter, in sockfeet and shirtsleeves, prodding uselessly at a hat that looked too much like a dead chicken, muttering. The Cat laughed raspily at him.

"Ah, good morning, Chessur!" greeted the Hatter. "Fancy seeing you here!"

The Cat grinned wider than normal.

"Follow me, Tarrant Hightopp!" he commanded, wafting himself towards the door, half-evaporated. The Hatter, tired of poking the dead-chicken hat, did so. The Cat made sure to head for the kitchen, where they picked up Thackery and Mallymkun. As they strode through the courtyard, Bayard's pups followed curiously, trailed by Bielle, then Bayard himself. Not much roused the Cheshire Cat on such a day, so it had to be good! They followed the same path.

The hovering Cat stopped at the clearing. Everyone behind him ran into each other, clambering to see up front. The Hatter caught Mallymkun as she toppled off his shoulder, his eyes bugging out more than normal. In joyful abandon, the pups hurtled forward, racing to be first in the water. Queen Mirana and Alice shrieked and dodged splashing puppies. Bielle stopped for a drink before sticking her front paws in, while Bayard collapsed, a-snooze in the shade.

By the time they all trooped back to the castle, everyone was soaked, nicely tired, and smiling. The heat went down at night. They would all sweat just as much tomorrow, but somehow, the prospect didn't seem so bad.