Weeks flown by until summer break ended and the pupils of McKinley High flocked back into their school. Conversations of summer adventures and friends reuniting filled the bustling hallways, making Rachel feel more pain than ever was possible. Noah had ignored her since that night she said that they shouldn't continue being together in secret. He didn't come back the next night, or the night after that, and never returned one of her calls. Even when she'd visited his house, he still ignored her. Maybe it was for the best, her brain told her, but her heart told her the exact opposite. The gaping hole stretched wider than ever before. She wasn't whole, unless she was with him.
"Noah! Hi!" Rachel waved sadly when he passed by her, his face a mixture of anger and a bad hangover, not acknowledging her in the slightest. Slamming her locker door shut behind her then was an ever-cheery Finn, with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Rach!" He kissed her cheek sloppily, making Rachel want to wipe away any trace of him from her. His kisses were nothing like Noah's. "Were you just talking to Puck?" He took her books from her hands, even with her mumbles of protests, and proceded to walk her to her next lesson.
"Yes, I was. I.. Just wanted to see if he had a nice summer. He musn't of heard me, that's all." Her voice broke in places, trying to keep that smile that she had to wear for Finn. She nearly broke completely when Finn once again started to discuss his successful game of COD the previous evening with Artie and Sam. "Well, thanks for walking me to my class Finn. I'll see you in Glee Club." Dodging out of Finn's crushing hug, she entered the noisy classroom to discover Noah with his feet up against the table, looking anywhere but Rachel. Now deciding it was her only chance to talk with him, she sat next to him, her smile for once becoming genuine. Waiting for him to talk, she kept her eyes on him, hoping he'd at least acknowledge her existence.
When he did, it was as good as being ignored. "Is there any reason you're staring at me, Dwarf?" Rachel flinched when he used her all-too popular nickname which she was branded with in sophmore year. "Noah, that's not really nice to call me that." Trying to keep her tone light-hearted and casual, her smile remained.
"I can call you whatever the hell I want to. And the names' Puck, not Noah." Grabbing his battered textbook, he moved to the front of the classroom, leaving behind a teary-eyed Rachel. She'd lost him now completely, and she'd do anything to get him back. The lesson passed by in a slow, sluggish haze, seeming never-ending in Rachel's mind. When the bell finally rang out, Noah was first to leave the class, pushing his bewildered classmates out of his way.
After an uneventful break being dragged around by Finn standing in line for the lunch queue, the bell rang, signalling the beginning of Glee club for Rachel. Entering the classroom, the one face she really wanted to see was nowhere in sight. Climbing to the back row with Finn, she kept glancing towards the door. Hoping that he'd come in, sometime.
"So.. Today, I'd like to talk with you guys about regrets. I know some of you have those, and I know we've discussed this before, but I'd like to get into more depth this time." Mr. Shue wrote the assignment on the whiteboard and turned to face the bored-looking teenagers. "Oh come on guys, have a little more enthusiasm!"
"Santana, what is one of your regrets?" The Latina looked up from filing her nails to admit that she regretted not getting a certain dress during the summer, causing Mr. Schue to roll his eyes and turn to Rachel. "Rachel.. How about you? What are some of your regrets?"
Marrying Finn. Hiding my love for Noah. Loving Finn. Being with Finn. Not admitting the truth that I didn't want to be with him anymore. Finn twisted in his chair to smile at Rachel, hope in those eyes Rachel had once dreamed of. But not anymore, those eyes held nothing for her. "I.. I regret.." Santana glanced at Rachel, an eyebrow raising slightly. "I.. I need a moment Mr. Schue, sorry." Scurrying quickly from her seat, she left the classroom, despite Finn's efforts to make her stay.
Leaning against a locker in an empty hallway away from the Glee club, Rachel let the building tears flow out of her. Sobs racked through her body, and slumped down onto the hard floor. Covering her face, she didn't notice Santana walk up to her. "Berry, what's going on? You're even more dramatic than usual." Folding her arms across her chest, Santana waited for an answer.
"Its.. Noah." Deciding the truth was what she needed to get out, Rachel heard Santana inhale a deep breath. "Finally, you've told me. Puck has been whining to me for weeks, trying to get me to talk to you."
Rachel wiped away her tears to look up at Santana. "What do you mean he's been whining to you for weeks?"
"He told me what happened between you two right after it happened. On that first night." Santana smiled slightly and sat beside Rachel. "He loves you Rachel. I can't believe you don't see that."
Shaking her head, Rachel answered Santana quietly, "Noah doesn't love me. He made that very clear from the start. This may sound vulgar, but he only wants me for my body. That's it."
"Of course he doesn't want you for your body Rachel. If he wanted anyone for their body, he'd want me. He wants you for much more than that. Your laugh, your smile, ugh.. I'm totally complimenting you here. Listen, I'm not going to give you much more of a pep talk. Just know that he loves you Rachel, and wants to be with you." And with that, Santana stood up and walked back in the direction of the Glee Club.
Rachel knew what she had to do, what she did best. And that was sing. Setting off for home, Rachel put her plan into action.