For most of the night, Edward had been in heaven. Bella had slept peacefully beside him.
This was changing now, her form shifting, and not comfortably. He watched with far less satisfaction as this did not resolve itself, as it normally would have.
When she rolled onto her back, the breath caught in her throat, and her eyes opened in alarm, and pain. The sound she made only confirmed Edward's worries.
"What's hurting?" he asked, feeling the clench of her hand on his.
"My back," she breathed out. "Help me turn over?"
He did, gripping her hands, and watching her go white with the movement.
The colour returned to her cheeks slowly, and her breathing became normal again.
He wanted to go back in time and rip Jun's head off himself.
Mostly he wanted to make her feel better, but knew there was precious little he could do.
He picked up the bottle at the bedside, letting the sound of the shifting pills be their own question.
She nodded, swallowing the ones he presented.
After a while, he could see the set of her shoulders still holding the tension of pain, not yet relieved.
"May I?" he asked, holding out his hands in suggestion.
"Please," she whispered.
His hands were almost the same size as Jun's, but wielded with infinitely greater control. He laid his palms where Jun's had rested, and allowed his fingers to flutter down, precisely matching the shadows of violence.
She let out a small sigh, the coldness a welcome balm.
If he'd been human, it would have been awkward, and uncomfortable, but he wasn't. Their bodies curled together into a lopsided heart, heads together, her knees tucked into his stomach, his arms extended to her back.
The spell had been broken for Edward, and his mind returned to the uneasy territory it had traversed in Jun's mind.
He'd need to talk with her, and soon, about what he'd heard.
The confrontation had been so brief in spoken words, but rich in thought ones.
YOU! Jun had accused. Then he'd called him a slew of colourful names, throwing all the incriminations he had, some real, and some clearly of Victoria's making.
Most were true—Images of Bella's face, snatches of conversation when Edward's spectre had been raised. Others were blatant lies. Fears for her life. Images of Edward, or Emmett or Jasper drinking her.
He shuddered.
There had been other images too. Fantasies.
Some not fantasies.
He'd come so close to telling Jasper to continue.
So close.
But it would have hurt her.
And he'd done enough of that.
When she woke in the morning, the pain was still there, but manageable enough to make her shake her head when he suggested not going to class.
He'd offered to make her breakfast too, but she'd blushed through her smile, saying, "I can manage, but thank you," pouring herself a bowl of cereal.
Her bag was sitting in the kitchen, Alice having stealthily retrieved it during the night.
Edward frowned at it, realizing she wouldn't be able to carry it. Then he smiled.
"What?" she asked, seeing the sudden transformation.
He shook his head. "Just remembering something, from a long time ago."
She raised her eyebrows, clearly wanting to know.
"Well," he said, "when I first went to school, if you wanted to ingratiate yourself with a young woman, you carried her books for her." Then he flicked his gaze to her bag.
She laughed, a hand to her mouth, trying to keep her granola from flying out of it. When she recovered, she wiped her face with a napkin, saying, "are you, um, attempting to ingratiate yourself with me?"
"Of course," he murmured, stealing her injured hand, kissing the fingertips. "I added something to your bag, too. I wouldn't expect you to carry any extra weight."
She pulled her bag over, looking inside, a florid blush riding up her cheeks.
"It's hard to write with an injured hand," he observed.
It had been. She'd managed her last exams with a borrowed laptop from student services, but had worried about how she would handle lectures.
"Thought you might borrow it for a bit, until your hand is better."
Borrow.
The unblemished, sleek silver casing, and the smell told her the laptop was brand new.
She felt, in her stomach, the weight of another thing, throwing them off balance.
Her uncertainty was written all over her face.
He studied her expression. "Just to borrow," he said again.
She let herself smile a little, nervously, murmuring a quiet "thank you." It felt like too much. Simply being with him felt like so much. Overwhelming. Amazing.
Emmett swung into view at this point, making one of the chairs shriek in protest as he sat down. "You up for practise today?" he asked, frowning at her stiff posture.
Edward growled—a low sound she couldn't hear.
"Not askin' you, Mr. Overprotective."
Bella shook her head. "Sorry Emmett, not today." The inexplicable urge to cry crept up on her, and she blinked quickly, trying to stop it before it became anything more than that. "Besides," she managed, "we don't have much of a team anymore." This was husked out, her eyebrows working together.
"Figured I could take the lead, and we could recruit someone," he shrugged, trying to make light of it, seeing her distress.
Edward's snarl was almost audible. His hissed "you're upsetting her!" was only for Emmett's ears.
"Not trying to upset you," he said to Bella, ignoring Edward. "It's just, people will notice, if we both quit. Be suspicious."
Bella nodded. Not something the Cullens could afford. That she would be able to afford.
Using a voice that Bella would hear, Edward said, "perhaps Alice can—"
"No." Bella's voice was firm. She looked at Edward. "Of all the things I've missed in the last months, that has not been one of them."
"But—"
"No," she said again. "Absolutely not."
He opened his mouth to speak again, but she interrupted him.
"I can't, Edward," she said, "I get that you want to protect me, and I've told you I'll move in, but having my future surveilled." She shuddered. "I have a few months left to be human, and I want them to be just that. Human. Normal."
Seeing Edward about to say more, Emmett kicked him under the table.
It worked, and Edward stayed silent, nodding to Bella, his eyebrows twisted together in a small, and disgruntled wedge.
Looking for a way to change the topic, Bella pushed back from the table. "I need to tell my friends I'm moving out, and pack." She grimaced a little at the thought. Today was one of her busier class days.
"Tell your friends," Edward said, "but we can take care of the packing and moving."
"You don't think that will look a little odd, all of you going and packing my room up?"
He smiled. "Not if you come and supervise."
She chuckled. She could well imagine that supervising would be all she would be allowed to do. Not that she would mind today. Her back ached threateningly everytime she moved.
"After class?" Edward asked standing up and joining her, finding one of her hands again.
"OK," she said, wondering how she would explain this to Marie and Sam. She wondered if Marie had had a chance to talk to Sam yet.
It was strange, but not unpleasantly so, going to class with Edward. He let her take the lead on the contact of their bodies. His open hand was an invitation she took at each opportunity.
By the time they reached her dorm room, Jasper and Alice were waiting for them, a stack of flat boxes ready.
"Whoa," Sam said, jogging up meet her. "You're moving out?" She was taking in the boxes, and the group of people with Bella. "I mean, I know I said some stuff I shouldn't have—"
"Oh no, Sam, it's nothing like that," Bella said. "Uh, did Marie get a chance to talk to you?"
Bella had stepped away from Edward and his siblings, leaving enough space that Sam would think their hushed conversation was private.
"Yeah," Sam said, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I just—" she lowered her voice even more. "I was just so surprised. He didn't seem like that."
"It's OK," Bella, "I'm just glad we're...OK?"
"Of course we are," she said, smiling apologetically. "For sure. But, you're moving out?"
"I am," Bella smiled, looking at Alice. "You remember Alice?"
Alice waved at Sam.
"Uh-huh, but—"
"We've been talking about this for a while," Bella lied smoothly, "just kinda clicked yesterday."
Sam still looked concerned. Then she looked back at the Cullens. "Wait. Doesn't your ex live with his sister?" She eyed Edward, who turned away, hiding his smile.
The answering blush rode mercilessly up Bella's face.
"Not so much an ex, I guess? That was fast!"
"Very." Bella agreed, letting herself smile. "And very unexpected. Very happily so."
"I'll say." Sam's eyebrows brushed her hairline. "But, I get it. I do. Sometimes, it takes something else not working for something old to, huh?"
Bella nodded, grateful they could part on good terms. Not that Sam knew how much they were.
Packing up her room took barely any time at all, and Bella felt completely extraneous to their efforts after the initial instructions.
"Anyone else you want to see before we go?" Edward asked.
She nodded, "but on my own, OK?"
He looked at her, the gaze written with worry.
"I know you'll be close by," she murmured.
When she found Marie, Sam had already beaten her to sharing the news.
"Seriously, you're giving all this up?" Marie said dramatically. "The glorious food, the noisy nights, the nosy, loud neighbours?"
It was good to laugh with them, even if it was tinged with the bittersweetness of it being likely, the last time.
Everything ends, she told herself.
All human things.
She reminded herself why she was moving out, palms sweating as she did.
Her belongings seemed pithy, and small, packed into the car.
When they arrived back at the house, Emmett asked, "where to?" as he pulled out one of the boxes.
Bella froze, and sensing her indecision, Jasper said softly, "we'll just put them in your room then." He looked at Emmett, his pointed expression telling him not to question the choice.
They took minutes to move and unpack everything.
It was so fast as to be disorienting.
"Thank you, everyone," she said, as they left, and stood there, staring at the space. Her hand went absentmindedly to her back, and then away, as her touch woke the angry flesh there. "I'm um, just going to do a bit of reading," she mumbled to Edward, hoping he understood she needed some space. They'd been together all day, and while it had felt so easy to slip back into, there was a building sense of claustrophobia that she couldn't explain, but could certainly feel.
The door shut, she sat gingerly on the bed, a closed book beside her. She was trying to process everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours.
It was a tenuous balance between the happiness of being with Edward, and the fresh worry Victoria's meddling had brought. No, she told herself, not a happiness with Edward, a rightness. As if the world was oriented the way it was meant to be. But the worry, normally pushed back to the edges of her mind, was present now, and she couldn't ignore it, just as she couldn't ignore what her involvement with Jun had done.
Guilt was a heavy thing.
And there was no privacy in a house of vampires.
She expected to hear Edward's arrival, but it was Emmett's voice that surprised her at the door.
"Hey you, can I come in?"
She wiped her eyes, calling out "sure, yeah."
"I figured you'd be feeling pretty shitty," he began, and then more loudly, "who wouldn't, having to kiss Edward."
She chuckled at his good natured ribbing, "thanks Emmett."
"It's not your fault, hey?"
She understood he wasn't talking about Edward anymore.
The grin that had begun, faded, and she looked up at him, wrinkling her forehead. "It is, Emmett" she whispered, "but I appreciate the effort—trying to make me feel better."
"No," he snorted. "Not lying kiddo. Really, not your fault. Vampires are a lot like people. Some of them are assholes. Clearly, Victoria falls into that camp. She would have taken anyone she thought she could use, Bella. It could've been anyone—Charlie, Sam, your mom, Marie. Anyone she thought could be manipulated."
"I know," Bella said. "And I made it really easy for her."
"No, you've been living your life, Bella. She'd be thrilled if you'd just curled up and tried to hide away. Most of her work would've been done for her then." He blew out a breath. "Speaking of which, I'm gonna ask you to come to practise tonight—no, no, not to practise yourself, but to watch. And to cheer us on." He made a small smile, lifting his eyebrows expectantly. "Morale needs keeping, hey? One of our teammates went missing." He hooked his words around the word.
Bella was nodding slowly. It made sense, and she didn't want to let the rest of the team down.
"I'll go too," Edward said, appearing, leaning against the doorframe.
It was more interesting than Bella thought it would be, watching, and cheering the relay practise. Edward kept his own commentary about his brother going, making her laugh, garnering a few well placed glares from Emmett.
At the break, Leo and Sam retreated to what they thought was a quiet corner to practise other activities, not realizing quite how visible they were from the Bella and Edward's vantage point in the stands.
Bella blushed seeing it, and turned her eyes in another direction.
But Edward had seen her look, and more importantly, her reaction.
He said nothing, letting the evening wear on, watching her tire, and encouraging her to go home, even though practice wasn't done yet. When she didn't resist the suggestion, he worried more. She was guarding her back as she moved, clearly in pain.
Ready for bed, she laid carefully down on her side, shaking her head when he picked up the bottle of pills.
With her book in front of her, she sighed, and from his vantage point, he could see her eyes were not trained on the page.
"What're you thinking?"
She shook her head. "Oh, just…" she sighed, shrugging.
He didn't miss her blush, and suspected the source of it.
"Does it have something to do with Sam and Leo?" he asked lightly.
The intensification of the blush told him he was right.
"Is that something that you still want?" he asked softly. "Before you're changed? With us?"
She swallowed the fear of yet more rejection. "Very much."
He nodded, and after a moment said, "I can't promise that, but I can promise that we can try."
Turning, Bella stared. "What?" She could not possibly have heard him correctly.
"If you want, we can try," he said, "but I can only promise that we try. I don't know—I'm not sure if it will work. I can't hurt you—"
"You—you're willing to try." She could barely believe it.
"Yes."
She tried to sit up, needing to be vertical to process what he was saying, but the movement jarred her back, and she hissed in a breath.
It reminded her, acutely, that she hadn't been able to empty her bladder.
"Bella?"
"I just need to use the bathroom."
The alarm in his face seemed in total disproportion to what she'd said. "Human, remember?"
"But you just went," he murmured.
"I couldn't," she said, standing carefully.
He pulled out his phone, pressing in a set of numbers.
She could guess who he was calling.
"I'm fine," she said, and then took a step forward. It never completed itself, and she was falling, sharp stabs running down both legs.
Edward's arms caught her before she could fall, picking her up. "Bella?"
She was breathing, trying to use it see the spasm of pain end. The air wasn't enough, and if anything, the pain was growing.
There was a peripheral awareness of movement, but the pain was sucking her inwards, all concentration pinned to surviving its tenacious heat.
She was clinging to her cogency by the time they reached the hospital, and the only thing she felt when the sting of a needle came was a welcome, and black relief.