Ch. 16 Unwanted
(A/N) Ah Ah Ah!!!!! Erm...Ok I'm better now...please r/r–enjoy...lol something big happens in this chapter–well I think it's big
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or it's characters :D
Lily and Tara sat on the beach, overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. It was the end of June, and the sun was just beginning to set. The girls weren't really noticing the scenery, however.
"So, that's how it happened," Lily finished her story sounding miserable.
Tara sighed. "Sounds messy," she said finally. "If I were there you could've just come into Ravenclaw...that probably would've helped a bit. I have a feeling Severus wouldn't have as big of a problem with this if James wasn't in Gryffindor."
"But," Lily said slowly, "his main complaint seemed to be me leaving him alone..."
"True, but he probably wouldn't feel so alone if you weren't going off with your other group..." Tara contemplated. At Lily's hurt look Tara added, "I know none of this is your fault, Lily...I in no way blame you. I'm just trying to understand his reasoning. Have you tried writing him?"
Lily laughed. "Only every day this summer, but the letters are always returned, unopened."
"Trust him to sulk like a two year old," Tara said, rolling her eyes. "He'll hopefully get over it when he realizes how much he misses you."
They sat there in silence for a minute.
"Or perhaps," Tara said brightly, "he isn't getting your letters...maybe he's gone somewhere where your owl can't find him and..."
Lily looked at her, raising her eyebrows.
"Ok, fine, I was just trying to be upbeat!" she said defensively. After a minute more of silent thinking she added again, "But please, Lily, don't give up on him. Keep trying and he'll cave. And PLEASE for goodness sake don't fall for that idiot James."
"What?" Lily said at the last comment. "First of all he's not an idiot, I think he's really changed, and second what makes you think I'd fall for him."
"Psh you've already fallen for him!" Tara said sounding hurt.
Lily laughed. "I have not Tara; don't jump to conclusions."
"It's hard not to when you're pushing me so hard..." Tara said dryly.
"Lets talk about something else..." Lily said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Tara smirked. "Ok, but let me have my final say on the matter. I want to be a bridesmaid at your and SEV's wedding, I'll even be a bridesmaid if you marry someone like...Sirius...I suppose...but if you marry James...well ok I'll still be a bridesmaid but I'll be VERY PUT OUT! Got it?" she finished, the beginnings of a smile on her mouth.
"Got it," Lily said grinning. "Although, it might be a while before you get to be the bridesmaid...and isn't it customary for the bride to ask the bridesmaid–not for the bridesmaid to declare herself one?"
"I'm starting a new tradition," Tara said laughing.
***
After leaving France in the middle of July, Lily was forced to get down to work. She had piles and piles of summer homework to do to be able to skip a grade. Even if she did manage to get it all done, she knew it would still be a difficult feat. When she got to her potions homework, she sighed. It wasn't her best subject, and she usually depended on Severus to help her. I guess I'll have to figure it out by myself this time, she thought glumly.
Days later, she had only managed to get one potion down completely. I hope he's happy, she thought to herself, because he's making my life extremely difficult!
"Lily, honey," her mother called up at her, "an owl just arrived with a very official letter for you..."
Lily looked up, confused. Who would send her mail? Perhaps it was only the school list. She ran down the stairs and grabbed the letter from her mom. She read it aloud:
Dear Miss Evans,
Congratulations! You have been selected as Head Girl for this year at Hogwarts. This is a great honor, and we have every faith in you to carry out your responsibilities and we're sure you will exceed even our expectations. The Head Boy is James Potter, and we hope that you two will be able to work together this following year.
Congratulations again,
The Administration of Hogwarts
Lily couldn't believe the news. She had just skipped a grade and had a lot of work to make up; she certainly hadn't expected to be made Head Girl as well. Her mother was elated at the news, but Lily just stood there numbly for a moment. James was head boy? Severus must not have done as well on his O.W.L.S. as he had hoped.
***
The first day of school was a strange on for Lily. She rode on the train with James and company, talking as if they had never had a two year rift between them. The feast was terrible. She got bad looks from the Gryffindors because she was formerly a Slytherin and she got glares from almost everyone at the Slytherin table for her treachery. Severus, however, didn't even glance at her.
Moving into her new Gryffindor room was also a painful experience for her. Some people were friendly to her because of James, but Lily still didn't feel welcome.
James tried to make it better by giving her presents, but it didn't cheer Lily up much. She loved being with the "marauders," but she missed her old life. She wrote Tara everyday as promised and even thought of writing Severus, but didn't.
When the Gryffindor Quidditch Team tryouts came up, James saw his opportunity to make Lily happy.
"Um, Lily," he said one day at breakfast.
"Yea," she said between sips of orange juice.
He cleared his throat. "Well, Quidditch Tryouts are in a few days, and there's a position open for Chaser and..."
"But I've only played Seeker..." Lily interrupted.
"You'd be a great Chaser, Lily! Besides, it would cheer you up!" he argued.
Lily sighed. "James, playing Quidditch isn't going to solve my problems," she said, glancing towards Severus.
"It'll at least distract you from them, though," James said, uneasily following her gaze. "Besides, Lily, if Sniv..." he cut off at her glare and started again. "If Snape is stupid enough to be mad at you like this, why do you care if he is your friend or not?"
"That's what I've been asking myself," she said quietly.
After a minute of silence, James tried yet again, "So, will you try out?"
"Oh, I suppose!" Lily said in defeat.
"Good," James said, smiling.
***
To Lily's great surprise, she was rather good at the Chaser position and made the team with ease. The day of the first game, however, she felt as sick as she had the year before at the game against Gryffindor. She walked out shakily, trying to clear her head as she prepared for the game against her old team, Slytherin.
Severus led his team onto the field. He was again wearing his hair loose and in his face. Their eyes caught for a moment, and in them she saw anger and pain.
The whistle blew just as thunder rolled in the distance. The sky was almost completely black with clouds. Slytherin had the ball first, but didn't score. Sirius picked up the ball and Lily flew in the other direction, towards their goal.
"Lily, here!" Sirius called, throwing the ball to her.
Lily caught it just as she felt it begin to rain. She turned and found herself face to face with Severus. They just stared at each other for a minute, and Lily felt tears come to her eyes.
"Scared, Evans?" he sneered.
"Never, Sevy baby," she said, trying a tactic Tara used sometimes when trying to get on someone's good side. "Even though your hair has seen better days," she finished with a smirk.
"Stop it, Li..." His face had almost changed to a smile, but he stopped it. "Evans," he finished.
It was then that Lily got a bludger to the stomach, dropped the ball, and went spinning off. When Lily finally got control of her broom, she looked up and saw Lucius talking to Severus, waving his stick.
So Lucius had hit the bludger at me, she thought, unsurprised.
Lightning struck and it began to pour. The whistle blew twice, and Lily came thankfully to the ground.
The referee started yelling, "Due to the unfortunate weather conditions, we have decided to postpone the game until a later date." Lightning struck again, very near the school this time and the referee continued, "All students, please proceed to the school."
Everyone in the stands headed for the school. Instead of going to the Slytherin locker room, Lily saw Severus head for the school. Lily followed him.
Just when Lily was about to admit to herself that she had lost him, she found Severus walking down a deserted hallway.
"Severus...Stop!" she yelled at him.
Without breaking stride he yelled back, "Go away, Lily!"
"Well at least you're calling me by my first name again," she said, running after him.
"I said go away!" he said, half looking over his shoulder.
Catching up, Lily grabbed his arm. "No, Severus! We need to talk. How come you didn't answer...or even open my letters I sent you this summer?"
He stared straight in the opposite direction of her, but he answered softly, "It would only have put you in danger."
Lily laughed incredulously. "Danger? From who?"
"You have no idea," he said, shrugging her off and continuing down the hallway.
"No you don't!" Lily said, grabbing his sleeve in her hand. The sleeve ripped, revealing a strange tattoo on his arm.
Lily shrank back a few paces whispering, "The...the darkmark...the sign of Voldemort...isn't it? Severus..."
Lily watched as a shiver seemed to go through Severus' whole body. "You...you...I tried to make it so you wouldn't ever find out about this," he started in a whisper, but got progressively louder until he was almost shouting. "But you..." he turned his head, finally, and looked into her eyes. "You had to follow me and write to me and snoop...and care...and..." he stopped, his head sagging against his chest in exhaustion.
"Severus..." Lily whispered again, "Why?"
"You left me alone," he cried out hoarsely. "Alone with Lucius...and my parents pressuring me until I couldn't take it anymore..."
"You had Adrienne," Lily said slowly.
Severus laughed. "She's only one person, and she spends most of her time hiding out now anyways."
"But, I'm only one person, too, Severus..." Lily protested.
"But...you...you were more than that to me..." he stammered.
Lily stood there for a moment shivering and his tense face softened. "It's not your fault, Lily, I'm sorry...I shouldn't blame you. But...but you weren't supposed to know...and...and there's no way out now."
"But, Sev..." Lily said tears in her eyes.
"Go, Lily, leave. It's better if we never see each other again. Goodbye, Lily," he said turning away from her again.
"But, Severus..." Lily said again.
Severus sighed. "Please, Lily. It'll make it easier for me, I promise. Please, Lily, just leave me...just go!"
"Ok," she said finally. "Goodbye Severus," she whispered, turning to walk out of the hallway. Once she was out of sight of Severus, she broke into a run, running all the way back to her room, crying.
(A/N) ok I've had that scene planned from like the beginning, but it wasn't planned for this chapter–I skipped it ahead one because I was bored. I guess I'll tell you there are only 4 more chapters after this one...and a small possible epilogue if you want it.
Please review...thank you to all of my reviewers yet again–you guys are the best :)
(A/N) Ah Ah Ah!!!!! Erm...Ok I'm better now...please r/r–enjoy...lol something big happens in this chapter–well I think it's big
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or it's characters :D
Lily and Tara sat on the beach, overlooking the Mediterranean Sea. It was the end of June, and the sun was just beginning to set. The girls weren't really noticing the scenery, however.
"So, that's how it happened," Lily finished her story sounding miserable.
Tara sighed. "Sounds messy," she said finally. "If I were there you could've just come into Ravenclaw...that probably would've helped a bit. I have a feeling Severus wouldn't have as big of a problem with this if James wasn't in Gryffindor."
"But," Lily said slowly, "his main complaint seemed to be me leaving him alone..."
"True, but he probably wouldn't feel so alone if you weren't going off with your other group..." Tara contemplated. At Lily's hurt look Tara added, "I know none of this is your fault, Lily...I in no way blame you. I'm just trying to understand his reasoning. Have you tried writing him?"
Lily laughed. "Only every day this summer, but the letters are always returned, unopened."
"Trust him to sulk like a two year old," Tara said, rolling her eyes. "He'll hopefully get over it when he realizes how much he misses you."
They sat there in silence for a minute.
"Or perhaps," Tara said brightly, "he isn't getting your letters...maybe he's gone somewhere where your owl can't find him and..."
Lily looked at her, raising her eyebrows.
"Ok, fine, I was just trying to be upbeat!" she said defensively. After a minute more of silent thinking she added again, "But please, Lily, don't give up on him. Keep trying and he'll cave. And PLEASE for goodness sake don't fall for that idiot James."
"What?" Lily said at the last comment. "First of all he's not an idiot, I think he's really changed, and second what makes you think I'd fall for him."
"Psh you've already fallen for him!" Tara said sounding hurt.
Lily laughed. "I have not Tara; don't jump to conclusions."
"It's hard not to when you're pushing me so hard..." Tara said dryly.
"Lets talk about something else..." Lily said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Tara smirked. "Ok, but let me have my final say on the matter. I want to be a bridesmaid at your and SEV's wedding, I'll even be a bridesmaid if you marry someone like...Sirius...I suppose...but if you marry James...well ok I'll still be a bridesmaid but I'll be VERY PUT OUT! Got it?" she finished, the beginnings of a smile on her mouth.
"Got it," Lily said grinning. "Although, it might be a while before you get to be the bridesmaid...and isn't it customary for the bride to ask the bridesmaid–not for the bridesmaid to declare herself one?"
"I'm starting a new tradition," Tara said laughing.
***
After leaving France in the middle of July, Lily was forced to get down to work. She had piles and piles of summer homework to do to be able to skip a grade. Even if she did manage to get it all done, she knew it would still be a difficult feat. When she got to her potions homework, she sighed. It wasn't her best subject, and she usually depended on Severus to help her. I guess I'll have to figure it out by myself this time, she thought glumly.
Days later, she had only managed to get one potion down completely. I hope he's happy, she thought to herself, because he's making my life extremely difficult!
"Lily, honey," her mother called up at her, "an owl just arrived with a very official letter for you..."
Lily looked up, confused. Who would send her mail? Perhaps it was only the school list. She ran down the stairs and grabbed the letter from her mom. She read it aloud:
Dear Miss Evans,
Congratulations! You have been selected as Head Girl for this year at Hogwarts. This is a great honor, and we have every faith in you to carry out your responsibilities and we're sure you will exceed even our expectations. The Head Boy is James Potter, and we hope that you two will be able to work together this following year.
Congratulations again,
The Administration of Hogwarts
Lily couldn't believe the news. She had just skipped a grade and had a lot of work to make up; she certainly hadn't expected to be made Head Girl as well. Her mother was elated at the news, but Lily just stood there numbly for a moment. James was head boy? Severus must not have done as well on his O.W.L.S. as he had hoped.
***
The first day of school was a strange on for Lily. She rode on the train with James and company, talking as if they had never had a two year rift between them. The feast was terrible. She got bad looks from the Gryffindors because she was formerly a Slytherin and she got glares from almost everyone at the Slytherin table for her treachery. Severus, however, didn't even glance at her.
Moving into her new Gryffindor room was also a painful experience for her. Some people were friendly to her because of James, but Lily still didn't feel welcome.
James tried to make it better by giving her presents, but it didn't cheer Lily up much. She loved being with the "marauders," but she missed her old life. She wrote Tara everyday as promised and even thought of writing Severus, but didn't.
When the Gryffindor Quidditch Team tryouts came up, James saw his opportunity to make Lily happy.
"Um, Lily," he said one day at breakfast.
"Yea," she said between sips of orange juice.
He cleared his throat. "Well, Quidditch Tryouts are in a few days, and there's a position open for Chaser and..."
"But I've only played Seeker..." Lily interrupted.
"You'd be a great Chaser, Lily! Besides, it would cheer you up!" he argued.
Lily sighed. "James, playing Quidditch isn't going to solve my problems," she said, glancing towards Severus.
"It'll at least distract you from them, though," James said, uneasily following her gaze. "Besides, Lily, if Sniv..." he cut off at her glare and started again. "If Snape is stupid enough to be mad at you like this, why do you care if he is your friend or not?"
"That's what I've been asking myself," she said quietly.
After a minute of silence, James tried yet again, "So, will you try out?"
"Oh, I suppose!" Lily said in defeat.
"Good," James said, smiling.
***
To Lily's great surprise, she was rather good at the Chaser position and made the team with ease. The day of the first game, however, she felt as sick as she had the year before at the game against Gryffindor. She walked out shakily, trying to clear her head as she prepared for the game against her old team, Slytherin.
Severus led his team onto the field. He was again wearing his hair loose and in his face. Their eyes caught for a moment, and in them she saw anger and pain.
The whistle blew just as thunder rolled in the distance. The sky was almost completely black with clouds. Slytherin had the ball first, but didn't score. Sirius picked up the ball and Lily flew in the other direction, towards their goal.
"Lily, here!" Sirius called, throwing the ball to her.
Lily caught it just as she felt it begin to rain. She turned and found herself face to face with Severus. They just stared at each other for a minute, and Lily felt tears come to her eyes.
"Scared, Evans?" he sneered.
"Never, Sevy baby," she said, trying a tactic Tara used sometimes when trying to get on someone's good side. "Even though your hair has seen better days," she finished with a smirk.
"Stop it, Li..." His face had almost changed to a smile, but he stopped it. "Evans," he finished.
It was then that Lily got a bludger to the stomach, dropped the ball, and went spinning off. When Lily finally got control of her broom, she looked up and saw Lucius talking to Severus, waving his stick.
So Lucius had hit the bludger at me, she thought, unsurprised.
Lightning struck and it began to pour. The whistle blew twice, and Lily came thankfully to the ground.
The referee started yelling, "Due to the unfortunate weather conditions, we have decided to postpone the game until a later date." Lightning struck again, very near the school this time and the referee continued, "All students, please proceed to the school."
Everyone in the stands headed for the school. Instead of going to the Slytherin locker room, Lily saw Severus head for the school. Lily followed him.
Just when Lily was about to admit to herself that she had lost him, she found Severus walking down a deserted hallway.
"Severus...Stop!" she yelled at him.
Without breaking stride he yelled back, "Go away, Lily!"
"Well at least you're calling me by my first name again," she said, running after him.
"I said go away!" he said, half looking over his shoulder.
Catching up, Lily grabbed his arm. "No, Severus! We need to talk. How come you didn't answer...or even open my letters I sent you this summer?"
He stared straight in the opposite direction of her, but he answered softly, "It would only have put you in danger."
Lily laughed incredulously. "Danger? From who?"
"You have no idea," he said, shrugging her off and continuing down the hallway.
"No you don't!" Lily said, grabbing his sleeve in her hand. The sleeve ripped, revealing a strange tattoo on his arm.
Lily shrank back a few paces whispering, "The...the darkmark...the sign of Voldemort...isn't it? Severus..."
Lily watched as a shiver seemed to go through Severus' whole body. "You...you...I tried to make it so you wouldn't ever find out about this," he started in a whisper, but got progressively louder until he was almost shouting. "But you..." he turned his head, finally, and looked into her eyes. "You had to follow me and write to me and snoop...and care...and..." he stopped, his head sagging against his chest in exhaustion.
"Severus..." Lily whispered again, "Why?"
"You left me alone," he cried out hoarsely. "Alone with Lucius...and my parents pressuring me until I couldn't take it anymore..."
"You had Adrienne," Lily said slowly.
Severus laughed. "She's only one person, and she spends most of her time hiding out now anyways."
"But, I'm only one person, too, Severus..." Lily protested.
"But...you...you were more than that to me..." he stammered.
Lily stood there for a moment shivering and his tense face softened. "It's not your fault, Lily, I'm sorry...I shouldn't blame you. But...but you weren't supposed to know...and...and there's no way out now."
"But, Sev..." Lily said tears in her eyes.
"Go, Lily, leave. It's better if we never see each other again. Goodbye, Lily," he said turning away from her again.
"But, Severus..." Lily said again.
Severus sighed. "Please, Lily. It'll make it easier for me, I promise. Please, Lily, just leave me...just go!"
"Ok," she said finally. "Goodbye Severus," she whispered, turning to walk out of the hallway. Once she was out of sight of Severus, she broke into a run, running all the way back to her room, crying.
(A/N) ok I've had that scene planned from like the beginning, but it wasn't planned for this chapter–I skipped it ahead one because I was bored. I guess I'll tell you there are only 4 more chapters after this one...and a small possible epilogue if you want it.
Please review...thank you to all of my reviewers yet again–you guys are the best :)