Disclaimer: I don't own Alice in Wonderland – although I did finally get the old Disney version on DVD recently! I don't own anything, really – just a few old books by a very special man.

A Brief Author's Note: This Baby Grand, number 4 in the LJ community 10_prompts, is the most cracked-out of any Baby Grand to date. Just a little bit of silliness prompted by thinking of Dr. Seuss while cleaning my own bathtub. Tub rings are annoying, aren't they?

13 - Ring

Alice dropped her dress in the clothesbasket, reached for the knob and, just before turning said the one on the left, with the "H" on it, she noticed it. She withdrew her hand before touching anything. There, around the interior of the tub – about halfway up the sides – glared a violently pink ring. What in the world? She thought furiously. Even in Underland, when a bathtub turned strange colors, it made one deeply consider bathing elsewhere. So she stood there, peering at the once-white porcelain in a combination of disbelief, exasperation, and plain befuddlement.

"Tarrant?" she called, hoping he hadn't left just yet.

A shock of red-orange hair poked in through the bathroom door – Alice didn't even bother reaching for her dressing-gown, choosing instead to just stand there in camisole and knickers. She had a good idea that she was looking at the direct cause of the stain in her bathtub. What she didn't know, and wasn't sure if she wanted to, was how it got there.

"What is this?" she asked, trying to remain as calm as possible as she gestured at it.

Tarrant glanced suspiciously at Alice, and then stepped fully into the bathing-chamber, trying to figure out what she wanted – he couldn't see it right off.

"What's what, love?" he asked carefully, thankful that everything on Alice seemed to be its proper color and in its right place – last time still stuck out painfully in his mind. He certainly hoped this wasn't to be a repeat of… Well, the thought made his skin crawl uncomfortably. Then he got a good look at it. "Oh… that."

Alice took a wide step away from the bathtub, pointing at it. Slightly nervous – he could sense something not-right, but had no idea what it could be – the Hatter sidled over to the tub. His beloved raised both eyebrows, gesturing once more at said tub, as if it had somehow offended her. He wrinkled his nose and stretched his neck as far as would go, trying to see inside the tub without stepping closer. The blonde sniffed in frustration – could he not see it!

"Yes, that," she confirmed a bit waspishly, pointing at it. "What is that?"

Ah! He must have seen it, because he tilted his head and she watched a thoughtful expression cross his face. Tarrant tilted his head, first to one side, then to the other, still apparently deep in thought. He frowned deeply and walked to the head of the tub. A soft 'hmm' escaped his lips as he took the few steps back to where he started, having carefully looked the tub up and down. Then he sprang up as if something had bitten him!

"Well?" asked Alice, tilting her head at him in genuine curiosity – annoyance aside, she really did want to know what it might be.

"This -" he proclaimed, gesturing grandly at the tub. "- is a big, long, pink Cat ring! And…"

Alice did not look at all amused. He looked back at the tub, at it.

"Oh dear…" he murmured. "What a thing…"

Alice blinked rapidly, as if attempting to stave off a headache – she just wanted to take a bath, for heaven's sake!

"A Cat ring?" she repeated, her voice a bit thin.

He nodded vigorously, now a bit more certain that he wasn't immediately in trouble for this – mad as he was, he certainly still possessed a healthy fear of an angry significant other.

"A Cat ring!" he exclaimed, smiling brightly.

She mouthed the words silently back at him, apparently still trying to wrap her mind around what he said – also contemplating giving him a sharp smack upside that wild head of his. Oh well, she thought wearily. It wasn't like it was the first time he had unintentionally turned something some strange colour. At least this time it had nothing to do with her person, she thought with no small degree of relief.

"Well, that explains so much," she said dryly, hands now on her hips. "Would you mind explaining to me, dear, what precisely is a Cat ring?"

She glowered at the pink ring around her bathtub's interior, then at the Hatter, tilting her head and waiting for an explanation. Tarrant raised one hand and opened his mouth to give her exactly that, though he did fully intend to gloss over a few minor, if inconvenient details. However, he and Alice both jumped when a raspy, irritated voice cut in.

"It is apparently what happens when one runs a bath whilst a partially-evaporated Cat is trying to take a nap," Chessur grumped, greatly relieved that neither of them had seen him materialize from the mirror.

Tarrant opened his mouth and produced a stream of what Alice could only guess to be curses, obscenities, and insults in that dialect she still couldn't wrap her head around. The Cat fired back and the two were soon occupied with a full explosion of bickering. However, it cut itself short when Alice cleared her throat sharply. She had quickly put two and two together and managed to deduce exactly how her bathtub had wound up its present colour. Chessur and the Hatter both turned their heads like reprimanded schoolboys.

"Well, gentlemen," she began, her voice businesslike. "Now we've established what this is… which of you is going to be removing this Cat ring and returning my bathtub to its proper shade?"

A paw and a hand pointed, each at the other. Tarrant glared at the Cat, who only grinned back, the expression taking up a good half of his furry face. Alice heaved a sigh and thought briefly about scrubbing an exasperated hand across her own visage.

"I thought so," she deadpanned, turning for the door and grabbing her dressing-gown. "I'll be back in half an hour."

One didn't have to be very sane or very smart to hear the unspoken promise of "woe betide you if there is a ring, Cat or otherwise, in this tub when I get back."