Thank you, thank you, thank you to: Violet201, nathansprincess, matthotty101, Mrz Letty Ortiz-Toretto, D274 (It is nearing its end! :( But I have other stories in the works…), Rue Dawn (I thought about calling him Grem but then for some reason it felt too weird/unrealistic (because all the other characters have pretty traditional names in the movie), but there are certain people who will call him Grem regardless of his real name ;) hehe), VincesDirtyGirl, xsparklesthemagicalunicornx, and littleone999! You all rock my socks! :)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but Alex, Mickey, Ronnie, and Eddie
Diamond in the Rough
Chapter 63: Holding on and Letting Go
By: LoveInk
The room was dark and silent save for the glow of the TV. Vince was sleeping in a chair next to Alex, his feet propped up on the stark white sheets of the hospital bed and Maxi was sleeping peacefully next to him, swaddled tightly in the hospital blankets. Alex was not sleeping. She was trying to figure out the best way to get to Leon's room. When she was sure Vince and Maxi were completely asleep, she slowly slipped out of the bed, wincing as the movement tugged at her sore muscles.
The elevator was nearby and Leon was just one floor below her. If she moved quickly enough, she could get there without the nurses noticing. Ignoring her aching muscles, she jogged to the elevator, making it inside just as she heard the nurse round the corner. She sighed in relief when the doors finally opened onto the correct floor.
She padded her way down the hall, praying no nurse would come through. Luckily for her, the nurses had already done their patient check-ups. Slipping into Leon's room, she leant against the door, a small smile on her face. "Mission accomplished," she muttered to herself.
Slowly, she approached the bed, glad there was a chair there for her to sit in. She sat down with a sigh before leaning forward to grab his hand. "I escaped, Lee," she whispered to him with a naughty smile. "I wanted to see how you were…looks like nothing's changed here but…I had the baby. You were right, our little Gremlin turned out to be a boy. We named him Maximus, which is partly you and Ronnie's fault because you two made me watch Gladiator so many freakin' times and I just couldn't get that name out of my head. We call him Maxi, but I have a feelin' you and Jess will always call him Grem."
She laughed lightly, fighting the urge to cry at the state he was in. He looked so pale lying in that hospital bed. "Lee, you gotta get better, all right? I'm not takin' no for an answer. I want Maxi to meet his Uncle Leon."
Leon could hear Alex but was too lazy to wake up. He was comfortable in this sleepy state. Nothing hurt. No one was missing. He was alone and he was okay with that. He'd be happy to be in that state of numbness forever.
"I like her," a distinct voice said, interrupting his thoughts.
He turned and found a face that was as familiar as his own smirking back at him. "Ess?"
Essie nodded in response. "She takes good care of you. At first I wasn't too into it because I was jealous, but I fuckin' like her now. You need someone like her in your life to tell you when you fuck up."
"This is all in my head right? I'm dreaming," he said, blinking rapidly to see if her the image of his deceased twin sister would disappear.
She shrugged a tattooed shoulder. "Think what you want. I don't give a fuck."
"Jess said he saw you when he was in the hospital. I told him it was the drugs."
"You might be right," she replied, that secretive smile on her face. She took a few steps toward him before pulling him into a tight hug.
He hesitated for a moment before hugging her back. She didn't feel like a dream. She felt real. He could smell the cinnamon of her chewing gum and feel her body against his. "I miss you, Ess," he murmured into her hair, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he squeezed her tighter.
"I miss you too, you butthead," she replied, pulling away and pinching his cheek with her fingers. She was wearing her trademark black leather fingerless gloves. He couldn't remember a time she hadn't worn those. She'd even managed to wear them at their prom. "A fuckin' car crash, Leo? Really? What kind of idiot are you? I hope Alex rips you a new one for that. Who the fuck were you tryin' to call? Couldn't it wait, ya dumbass?"
Leon shook his head. "I was trying to call…her."
"Michaela?" Essie put in, knowingly. "God, you're a fuck up."
The language didn't startle him. It was strangely comforting. Essie used the f-word more than any other person he knew. "Don't start with me, Ess," he muttered. It was good to see her, but he sure as hell did not want to hear her lecture.
"I haven't seen you in like three years. If I want to talk to you, I'm gonna fucking talk to you so shut the fuck up and listen," she ordered, poking him to emphasize her point. "You listenin'?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed, clearly frustrated. "Go ahead. I've heard it all before."
"You want kids, Leon."
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No, I don't."
"Hell yeah you do! You've wanted kids your whole fucking life, dumbass! Ever since I can remember! You'd say you were going to marry some gorgeous chick and then have awesome mini-you's runnin' around and hopefully you'd get twins and blah, blah, blah…remember?"
Leon could remember those days. Everything had been so simple then. Having kids seemed like another milestone just like a birthday or graduation. Now, it came with different things, different memories. "Things change."
"Fuck that. You want kids, Leo. Don't you tell me differently. You want kids like Adri has 'em; all cute and shit. Wait 'til you see Maxi. Holy crap. I haven't seen a baby that was so fucking cute since Mattias was born!"
"Why should I have kids? So they can end up dead at nineteen like you?" he shouted, finally voicing his true reason for not wanting children.
Hurt and shock registered in Essie's bright green eyes as she studied her brother. His eyes had tears in them. Obviously, he hadn't taken her death lightly. She wasn't surprised, it was hard to be away from him too. "What happened to me was an accident, Leo," she explained softly. "Your kids aren't going to end up like me."
"How could you possibly know that?"
"I don't. But, c'mon Leo, be realistic. The chances of your kid dying young are like one in a fucking billion. Don't keep yourself from being happy just because I fucked up. Don't let it keep you from living your life. Let it go. Let me go."
Leon shook his head. He was not going to let her go. If he and Michaela had kids, and something should happen to one of them…he wouldn't be able to handle seeing Michaela go through that kind of pain. It had been bad enough after her miscarriage, what would it be like if they lost one in an accident? No, there was no way he'd put her through that. "Fuck you. I don't want kids."
"Fuck you right back. You do! I know you better than anyone, you little fucker! You want to live a lonely, uneventful life? Go ahead! Keep thinking that. But you're goin' to lose Mickey and you're goin' to lose one hell of a future because you know building a family with her wouldn't be boring. Not for a minute. You'd fucking love every minute of it and you know it. Who are you kidding, Leo?"
He sighed, throwing his hands up in the air. It was useless fighting with her; especially when deep down, he knew she was right. "It doesn't matter. I already lost her, Ess."
"That's fuckin' bull shit," she swore at him, shaking her head. She stuck a finger in his face. "That girl fuckin' loves you. She's probably on her way to the hospital which is why you gotta wake the fuck up both figuratively and literally. This is your life, Leo, and it's ending one minute at a time."
Leon rolled his eyes at her. "Don't quote Fight Club at me. You weren't even around when that came out."
"Hmm," she hummed, pondering his comment before shrugging. "Saw it though. Fucking good movie."
"Whatever, Ess."
"I forgot what a fucking thick head you have," she muttered to herself. "Listen to me, idiot. Your future without her is bleak. She will move on. You won't because when you get stuck in a fucking rut, you stay there until someone bails you out or you runaway. You can't run this time, Leo."
"Why the fuck not?" he asked, irritated by Essie's pushing. She was making him face things he didn't want to face and he hated her for that.
Essie rolled her eyes. "Okay, say you run away. You're leaving behind Jess..."
"Jess'll come with me," he interrupted.
"Not this time, Leo," she replied, shaking her head sadly. "This time he's got nothin' to run from. Doesn't matter, anyways. You're not going to run. Do you really think you can live without Jess and V and Lex and Michaela. I mean, maybe the other three, but you can't live without Mickey. We both know that."
"Fuck off, Ess."
"No. I will not fuck off because I fuckin' love you, Leo! I want to see you happy and I have never seen you as happy as you were with Michaela! I want you to go back to that you shithead!" she exclaimed, stamping her foot in frustration. "Will you at least try? Please? For me?"
Leon sighed, running a hand through his hair. "All right!"
"Finally!" Essie threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you!"
He rolled his eyes but smiled despite himself. He'd forgotten how happy seeing his sister smile made him. "You're welcome."
Her smile turned into a frown as she looked off into the distance over his shoulder. "You have to go back now."
He looked over his shoulder to see what she was looking at and found nothing. The hair prickled at the back of his neck, what was she seeing that he couldn't? He snapped his fingers in front of her face to bring her attention back to him. "Why?"
Essie gave him a reassuring smile. "You gotta meet your new nephew, Leo. He's precious. And tell Jess I love him. A lot," she ordered a tear slipping down her cheek. "I hate this. I get to see you two for like half a minute every time one of you gets fuckin' hurt."
Leon chuckled. "You want us to get hurt more often?"
"Fuck no," she said on a light laugh. She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "Take care of yourself, bro."
Leon nodded solemnly, trying not to cry himself. "Yeah," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. Her image began to grow fuzzy and he tried his hardest to make it come back. "See you later?"
"Not too soon, I hope," she murmured, kissing his cheek softly. "I love you."
"You too, Essie."
Michaela stared at the cell phone in her hands. After she hung up with Jesse she had called Leon, praying what Jesse had said wasn't true. She dialed three times and had gotten nothing in return. Just the boring robot voice telling him his number was unavailable. She pressed redial, holding the phone to her ear. "You have reached 702…" the robot responded.
She hung up before it could get past the area code. His number was as familiar to her as her own. Tears filled her eyes as she clutched the phone tightly. "No," she breathed, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Leon was hurt and she couldn't leave to go help him. The tears fell faster than she could stop them.
Eddie was wandering around the concert arena when he found Michaela sitting in a hallway, knees pulled to her chest, face hidden. "Mickey?" he questioned, looking down at her. His hazel eyes looked just as sad as she felt.
Michaela lifted her head, looking up at him with glassy, sad blue eyes. "Hi," she rasped.
He looked to his right and left to make sure no one was coming before he took a seat next to her. He was supposed to be in wardrobe approving new stage costumes, not sitting around hallways. "What happened? Why are you crying?"
"He got in a car crash," she told him softly. Sniffling, she wiped at her eyes.
Eddie wasn't stupid enough to ask who he was. He could tell it was Leon by how upset she was. "Is he all right?"
"He's in the hospital."
"What are you still doing here?" he questioned. "You should go."
Michaela stared at him, eyes wide. "I can't go. We have a concert tomorrow," she said feeling hopeless. "I made a commitment to be here. I knew what I was getting into."
"Go. See him and the baby."
So that's why he's sad, she thought. "You heard?"
Eddie shrugged. "Yeah," he replied, his voice rough and sad. "Ron called Ma and she's been telling anyone with ears that she's a grandma again; never mind that both her "grandchildren" are actually Lex's sister's kid and this kid. None are her actual blood. And Iggie comes up to me, slaps me on the back and says, '"And to think, it could've been you." Some older brother he is."
Michaela fought the urge to laugh. Iggie was Eddie's oldest brother and was in charge of lighting and sound on the concert tour. The whole event was a family affair for Eddie. His mom was their manager, his dad their agent, his big brother did tech, Ronnie used to be in the band, and his two younger siblings, Frankie and Katie, showed up every now and then. Even Alex's family was heavily involved. She could see how it was hard for him when stuff like this happened. "I'm sorry, Ed."
"I know we're done and it's over but…it still hurts, you know? I just…I miss her," he said on another sigh. "Anyways, Ma told me to tell you to go home. She knows it's your first nephew, and I think she knows about your boyfriend too. Ronnie's got a big mouth."
"You really think I should go?" she asked ignoring his whole rant. "I don't think he wants to see me."
"How could you live with yourself if you didn't go? What if…what if something goes wrong and this is the last chance you'll have to see him?"
Her blue eyes widened. "You think he's going to die?"
"No, no, no," Eddie denied, shaking his head vigorously back and forth. He did not think that, but he was trying to get her to go. "I don't think he will but you never know."
"I don't think I can handle it," she admitted softly. "I can't see him hurting and not want to…take care of him."
"You're stronger than you think, Catella," he said, taking her hand and squeezing it. "You can handle it. You're going to walk right in there and say your piece. Make sure he's all right and then from there…who knows? Maybe you'll come back out here, maybe you'll stay. Do what you feel is right."
"Wanna come with me?" she asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. She'd gotten to be close friends with Eddie. He was surprisingly easy to talk to once you pulled him away from all the glitz and glamour. She could see why Alex had loved him before.
"Nah," he said shrugging a shoulder. "I think it's better if I stay."
Michaela saw right through his excuse. "You can't handle it either, huh?"
He smirked and nodded. "When we get to California, my whole family is going to go, and even then, I'm not sure I will."
"You're stronger then you think, Ed," she parroted, giving him an encouraging smile. She wiped at her eyes before standing up.
Eddie rolled his eyes. "Now where have I heard that before?" he muttered to himself.
She ignored him. "I'm going to go and see him and he's going to be fine. I'll just walk right in there, tell him how I feel, and then go see my gorgeous nephew," she announced, a determined gleam in her eye. She could honestly say she was excited to go home and start something new. Excited to see her nephew, her brother, her sisters, and just be home. She'd missed it while travelling across the country. She tried not to think of Leon being injured and instead, focused on trying to come up with the right words to fix their broken relationship.
He held out his hand for her to help him up and she willing grabbed it, tugging him up to his feet. "Good luck."
"I expect to see you in a week, mister," she teased, wagging a finger in his face before turning to walk towards her dressing room.
"Tell Lex congrats and tell your brother to go to hell," he shouted at her back.
Michaela laughed as turned around and began walking backwards. "I will do the first, but not the second. Telling him to go to hell usually winds up with me in a headlock and my brother is freakin' strong."
Leon woke up slowly to the beep of machinery. He groaned as he started to regain feeling, his whole body ached. "Fuck," he grumbled, opening one eye to the bright lights around him. He closed it again before opening both eyes and blinking in the artificial lights. "Fuckin' lights."
"I know, they're bright, huh?" Jesse's voice answered back. "I dunno why they do that. It's like, if I'm going to wake up, the last thing I want to see are bright fuckin' lights."
He chuckled, regretting it instantly when it sent pain through his torso. "Ow fuck," he murmured, rubbing at his side.
"How's your head?"
"My head?" Leon repeated, his hand going up to touch his forehead. He found a decently sized bandage. "Oh fuck. What's my damage?"
"Six stitches to the head, a few broken ribs, and lots of bruising," Jesse explained, flipping through a car magazine serenely. "Doc's were worried you'd be brain dead. You brain dead?"
"No."
"Good," he said on a nod. "Lex had the baby."
Leon nodded slowly. "I know. I actually saw…I saw Ess."
This caught Jesse's attention. His blue eyes looked up from the magazine and stared at Leon, a sad look in them. "She's still beautiful, huh?" he said reverently. "What'd she say?"
"Chewed me out about Mickey. Told me I wanted kids. All this shit."
"I could've told you that," he muttered, going back to his magazine.
Leon could tell the kid was upset that no mention was made of him. He sighed, rolling his eyes. "She said she loves you a lot."
Jesse smirked, looking up again from his magazine. "I know."
"Where's Lex?"
"She decided to walk her ass over here when the nurse specifically told her not to, so she's currently being lectured about listening to the rules. But other than that, she's healthy. Maxi is awesome. I got to hold him and he grabbed my finger. He's got a strong grip, that kid. He'll be an awesome mechanic."
Leon chuckled, shaking his head at his friend. "He was just born, Jess."
"I know, I know," he said waving his hands around. "His name is Maximus Angelo. Doesn't he sound like a gladiator? I'm tellin' you, this kid is going to be badass."
"Of course. He's mine," Vince said as he walked into the hospital room. "How you doin' Lee?"
"Livin'."
"You scared the shit out of Tiny."
"Sorry," Leon mumbled, looking down at the IV in his hand. "How's little Mama?"
Vince smirked. "She's pissed. She hates sitting in bed all day and the nurses are watching her like a hawk 'cause she left one night."
"How many more days 'til she's out?"
"One. She'll be good to go tomorrow."
Leon smiled; happy it wouldn't be long until he got to see her. "Good."
"I'm sure she'll be here as soon as I tell her you're awake, anyway," Vince said on a smirk on his face. When his wife got something in her head, she was going to do it, rules or no rules. "I'll make sure she brings Maxi."
"Tell her not to worry about it. I'll see her later."
Vince snorted as he shook his head. "You tell her. She's all set to give you a lecture, Lee. You can't stop her."
"She's crazy," he muttered in response, running his IV-ed hand over his hair.
"I fuckin' love that woman," Vince said, a tone of admiration in his voice. He cleared his throat as he looked at his shoes. "Michaela's on her way," he said softly.
Leon tried not to react, tried to let the comment slide right off him but he felt his stomach flip flop. Outwardly, he did his best to stay calm and collected. "Mm-kay."
"Just thought you might want to know."
He nodded slowly. "Thanks," he muttered. His mind was buzzing with different thoughts and feelings. Was Michaela coming back for him or for the baby? He was almost sure she was coming back to see the baby, but part of him hoped she was coming back for him. A bigger part of him hoped that whatever the reason, she was coming back to stay.
Essie makes a reappearance because I freakin' love writing her! :) If you readers are interested, I've been playing with writing a prequel about Jesse, Essie, and Leon...Let me know if that's something you'd want to read! ;)
As always, your thoughts, ideas, etc. are welcome and appreciated!
~Love Ink