Authors note: So I truly admire those who were publishing over the Xmas period, I am really not that organised! plus I tend to work in quiet and my house had the same noise level as an airport runway, so sorry for the delay.
I'm sneaking in this chapter before more visitors arrive, my sis got married so its craaaazy here, therefore, the numerous mistakes are mine.
Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Disclaimer: Nope, the rights for the mentalist and the no doubt numerous royalties were not left under the tree for me.
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Jane swanned around yet another gallery opening, watching Alicia schmooze her way through pontifical frauds and wannabes. The elite of Sacramento, supposedly here for their alleged love of art, but really comparing notes on who has more money while showing their general lack of taste and manners.
He was bored, he hated being bored. He nabbed a passing champagne, swallowed it down and grabbed another. He had behaved himself for the most part since Red John's demise, he only felt the need to stir things up when he came across the overly pretentious or the unjustifiably judgemental.
While there was plenty of those type of people here, he was on a tight leash and would not endanger Alicia's career. Unlike the C.B.I, where there where structured guidelines and people followed protocols, he probably couldn't talk his way out of it with this group.
He wandered to a more secluded area that he had been in earlier where few people had remained after the initial introduction to the gallery pieces. It was now empty except for a security guard who was shifting back and forth on his feet. He looked suspicious, yes he was definitely hiding something.
Jane's curiosity was peaked. He sidled over, creeping quietly behind the man. His mind whirring with possibilities; murder, robbery, counter fitting. The guard snuck a small object out of his pocket, looking around before turning his attention to the small device.
Jane put his hand on his phone, his finger hovering over Lisbon's number.
"What have you got there?" Jane asked loudly to make the man jump.
"Eh nothing sir, I've got nothing, I mean I'm eh checking...something" he finished lamely. Jane watched as the man in his late forties, turned an impressive shade of purple with embarrassment. Definitely not a criminal mastermind so.
Seeing Jane's sceptical look and phone in hand, he sheepishly admitted defeat and tuned what was in his hand.
"Please don't tell anyone but it's a crucial game" he pleaded removing his thumb from the speaker.
Jane laughed as he heard the sounds of an ice hockey game and viewed the tiny players on the screen.
"Don't worry I wont reveal your terrible secret" Jane mocked "That is, if I can join you" he added.
The man accepted and they huddled together and watched the rest of the game. Jane thought to the last time he had been at a game, it had been several months previous with the team and Alicia. There had been talk of getting season tickets that night. Alicia had sited many reason from her job to other functions they were supposed to got too, as to why she could not go, she had said it was fine by her if he went with the team though.
He had considered it but in the end Jane decided to decline. The team however had got them and was no doubt currently at this game.
He was aware he had missed many nights out, dinners, games and drinks. He hadn't known how it had happened, it just had. He wasn't available at the drop of a hat any more but with the case loads they had, well after work, he tried to spend time with Alicia.
He realised he missed them, he wanted to be there, he should be there.
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Alicia strolled into the quiet, white room, finding her boyfriend deep in conversation with a security guard. He was so strange sometimes, she wondered just why he had to find the most random person in the entire building to befriend, but that was Patrick. Half of Sacramento's creme de la creme was here and he was with the staff, still his eccentricities were one of the reasons she loved him.
"Patrick" she called.
"Oh hi, is the party over?" he glanced at his watch in amazement.
"Yes darling, everyone is finishing up, it went well, I was surprised I didn't see you more?"
"I'm sorry, I just didn't feel up to putting on a show tonight" Jane gestured tiredly.
"Oh ?" Alicia inquired.
"Bye Frank, have a good night." Jane called as he walked towards his girlfriend.
Alicia wrapped her arms around him as they started walking towards the exit. She looked up at his face, her brow crinkled in concern.
"Is everything ok?" she stroked his cheek, worried about him.
"It's fine I'm just tired, I guess I'm just realising how fast the last few months have gone by."
"Well in good company time flies" she smiled at him.
"True" he half heartedly returned hers.
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Jane woke up that night around three. His skin was slick with sweat, his heart pounding. He had tangled himself in the sheets, trying to get away from the horrific images his mind had conjured up.
Jane walked downstairs to get some water and away from the scene of his imagined fears. Silently leaving the room, he left Alicia still embroiled with Morpheus. Out of the room, he released the breath he was holding, it came out in short gasps.
He hadn't had a nightmare since a month after Red John had died. They had been on an out of town case and a bloody hand print on the wall had set him off. His yells had alerted Lisbon in the next room and they spent the night holding each other, as Jane cried out years of pent up anguish. It had been cathartic, freeing and cleansing, so he was surprised by his dreams tonight.
He had been in an old building, trying to find the team, he could hear them but couldn't locate them. Their voices came from every direction, calls for help, distorted pleas and shouts. He had followed the sound of Lisbon's voice to a dark and dank basement.
He had kept looking and looking but not finding her, until at the end of a corridor, he happened upon a door. His heart had clenched as he opened it, revealing a wall covered in blood. Opening it further, he could see matted brown hair and a delicate hand clutching a cross. He had woken up before he could see what he assumed was her mutilated body.
He leaned over the sink, clutching his glass, staring out the window at the night sky. Nine months ago he would have called her, could have called her. In one minute he would have been reassured that she was ok, they would have laughed until he forgot his fears. So why did he feel like he couldn't any more. It would disturb her, and it grated on him he was unable to show a simple act of caring.
He had isolated himself from his friendships. It had been so easily done, too many noes and they just stopped asking. He had stopped paying attention as well, was Cho still with Elsie or had he given into his carnal desires for Summer? And Rigsby, had he finally decided Sarah or Van Pelt? and if was Van Pelt, had he helped her through her issues or was she still hurting?
And then there was Lisbon, was there someone else now making her smile and blush? If he had called tonight would a man have answered the phone, he vaguely remembered her dating someone recently.
His thoughts spiralled around and around as he watched the navy night sky overtaken by the golden dawn.
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The next morning, Jane decided he was going to leave his car behind and travel with Lisbon. He really had pulled away from them all and he missed his friends. Approaching the car he saw Cho climb in the passenger side. He and Lisbon were in deep conversation. He supposed this was their normal routine now.
"If it's alright with you both, I think ill ride with you guys", he called to them.
Lisbon shrugged "Sure, has your contraption broken down again?" she mocked.
"No just thought I'd like the company. Get that Friday feeling and all" he smiled.
"You ok, you look tired" her eyes took in his under eye bags.
"Thank you Lisbon, but I'm fine." he answered, wary of worrying her.
They all got in the car and Lisbon began talking again to Cho. Jane watched from the back seat, as they bantered back and forth about whether darts was a real sport or not. Cho was defending it while Lisbon vehemently denied its sporting merits.
It was a pleasant interaction but just a further reminder to him, how far he had gone. He used to be the passenger seat person, he habitually provided the banter, he didn't even feel right interrupting them to inject a view point.
It was thankfully a short drive. Stepping out of the car he was greeted by Van Pelt and Rigsby's quick hello. They both eyed his emergence from the car with surprise.
"Car broke down?" Rigsby asked causing Cho and Lisbon to chuckle.
"No just thought I'd change it up" he smiled. They both narrowed their eyes in suspicion.
"Whatever it is Jane, not today." Grace warned.
"I don't no what you mean Grace, and am I to infer that every other day my antics are allowed? Or is it specifically this Friday you wish to go home on time?" Jane groused, what was with them.
"Eh no, that's not it I mean..." Van Pelt stumbled over her words.
"No. No misbehaving at all, ever, can we focus please." Lisbon interrupted.
"So what have got boss" Rigsby asked, trying to brake the tension.
"78 year old man found at the end of a ravine, Stab wound to the heart." Lisbon read from her notes.
Jane waited as they all followed Lisbon towards the body, remaining a few steps behind. He watched them all as they went. He really would have to step his game up, to make amends.
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The case was easily solved and he had been amused to see Grace run out at six, ahh definitely a date. So she was doing better and Rigsby was still with Sarah. He felt better knowing these things and Jane, mind eased somewhat, spent the weekend relaxing and catching up on sleep.
He was surprised to find a conspicuously absent Lisbon on the Monday morning. He waited and waited but she was a no show. Finally, right as he thought he might actually bore a hole through the glass in her office window from staring so intently, Cho approached him.
"We have a case" was all he said before turning and walking to the elevator.
"Shouldn't we wait on Lisbon" Jane asked running after him.
"We'd be waiting a while for her to fly back from Chicago." Cho responded.
"She's in Chicago?" Jane asked in confusion. What the hell, how did he not know this.
"Yeah, you know this, she has been talking about it for ages. Two weeks with her family" he said distractedly pressing the button repeatedly.
"Two weeks? She'll be gone two weeks?, when did she decide this?" Jane voice had gotten desperate.
"I'm pretty sure she booked it a month ago, she definitely mentioned it when we were out for the bears game." Cho reminded him.
"I wasn't there" Jane said sadly. Those regrets he had were increasing.
"Oh yeah you had a function or something, right a charity?" Cho replied distractedly watching the doors that still hadn't opened.
"No that was the time before, an art gallery Alicia's friend was opening" Jane mumbled.
"oh ok, well anyway she has mentioned it a few times before that too. Since Annie was doing or getting something she decided to go."
Finally the doors pinged open. Cho went inside, glad to get going and hopefully away from Jane's incessant Lisbon questions. Jane remained silent as they descended and all the way to the car, lost in his thoughts.
Cho opened the SUV doors, taking the drivers seat. Jane sat in beside him. Before Cho could turned on the engine, his phone beeped a message. Cho opened it and let out a guffaw. Jane was surprised, he almost never heard him laugh. He quickly dialled a number, Jane listened intently as he spoke his side of the conversation.
"Hey... how you doing?...good fun?... Yeah that's why I'm calling... fine you were right I was wrong, I said you were right... I'm not saying it a third time. Yeah... that sounds fun, nah the usual on our way to a case . K well I'll talk to you soon have a good time...bye." Cho hung up smiling to himself.
"Elsie?" Jane inquired.
"Hmm, no that was Lisbon" Cho answered turning on the engine, pulling out of the car park.
"Really? Hows she doing? Is everything ok?" It hadn't sounded like something was wrong.
"Huh? She's great she was out last night and just sent me a picture." Cho was really starting to miss the disinterested Jane of the past few months, especially to this new panicky Jane.
"May I see" Jane asked feeling left out. He didn't like the pang of jealousy that he had felt at their banter and just why was she texting Cho and not him.
Sure" Cho tossed him his phone. Jane opened the picture message. It was of a grossly over weight man, with thick bottle cap glasses, throwing a dart and Lisbon had added the caption: an athlete in his prime with a question mark.
The easy friendships between the team, the nights out, all the fun they seemed to be having, he worked with the team for years and they had never acted like this.
"Cho, can I ask you a question?" he was mad at his exclusion and his jealousy was full force now.
"Can I stop you?"
"No, how come you all are so close now, it feels like I was the reason we never did personal, because as soon as I get a girlfriend you all start hanging out?" Jane looked at him, his face remained calm but his feelings were clearly hurt, his eyes betraying him.
"We always hung out Jane, you mean why so often and how come Lisbon does now?" Cho let out an exasperated sigh, it looked like they were having this conversation one way or another.
"No. well yes, was it me?" Jane really didn't like how needy his voice sounded.
"Yes" Cho responded.
"What? Why?" Jane had expected a reassuring no, that it was all just a coincidence.
"It's not in a bad way Jane but when you changed, Lisbon changed. We were no longer walking on egg shells, waiting for you to kill Red John or go postal. Since you've done it once and the other guy did it once, we figure he's dead dead. So now what was left to fear?" He summarised.
Cho missed Lisbon, she always knew how to handle their crazy consultant and his random breakdowns. That and she also knew when to be quiet.
He continued on before Jane could get in an interruption, he'd rather finish this little chat.
"Plus after a few months it was obvious you were cool. When he died, you became I dunno lighter and with Alicia you just relaxed completely. You realise you tell us your plans now so you can get home faster. You don't mess up much so Lisbon had way less paperwork. When you started dating a side effect was Lisbon got free time." He finished hoping it would be the last of it.
"So basically I trapped the woman in a sea of paper work" Jane questioned bitterly.
No such luck Cho mused, he decided to tread a bit lighter or they would never finish this conversation. He'd talked more in the past twenty minutes than he had in the last week.
"Na it wasn't like that but I guess Lisbon wanted a life too, hell if you can do it any one can." Cho joked.
"Jeez thanks" Jane smiled lightly.
"Well there was Grace too" Cho added.
"What about her?" Jane shifted to see Cho's profile.
"After she shot Craig, she was darker, hurting and a bit broken. With you finally stable, Lisbon turned her saviour complex on her. Grace didn't need company on a couch , chats over tea or hiding in a dirty, mildewed attic."
"It wasn't that bad" Jane chimed in.
Cho threw him a disbelieving look before continuing, "She likes yoga and people, company really, so Lisbon gave her that and I guess along the way liked it enough to keep going. Do you know the CBI women do drinks and dancing once a month, not just ours, like all of them. That is one scary ass kicking group."
"That I would like to see" Jane smiled thoughtfully.
They pulled into the parking lot that was swarming with people. Cho was beyond grateful to get out of the car and away from Jane, Lisbon really was a saint.
Their conversation thankfully over, Cho focused on the case details. He could see Jane walking around the body but was aware he was only half paying attention, his mind clearly elsewhere. He was decidedly sending him home with Rigsby.