Thanks to those of you who sent reviews. It really is the fuel that keeps most of us writers going. Sorry I haven't updated as frequently as I wanted. Senior year in college started and I was a little overwhelmed. Now that I think I have my stride, I'll go back to updating at least twice a month. Also, this semester i'm taking my re-certs for EMT so that's extra stress. Cyber candies for any who can get close to the year I first certified. One clue, Johnny and Roy were doing their thing on TV.

Those of you who are Roy fans, hang in there.

Those of you who thought Roy was being cruel before, look out.

Previously...

Cap waited until Johnny entered the office and closed the door behind him

Cap waited until Johnny entered the office and closed the door behind him. Roy already sat in the chair closest to the desk and Cap waved toward the other. "John, sit."

Johnny shook his head, "I'm fine right here." He replied but did move closer, away from the door. Cap watched Roy shift from the side of the chair near Johnny to the opposite side. He looked carefully at each man, catching and holding their gaze. He smiled inwardly when Roy first met his gaze with impudence then slowly dropped it. Good, at least he has the decency to look guilty. Johnny, however, met his gaze straight on, but there was no emotion in his normally expressive eyes. Uh oh, I don't like this. I don't like this one bit. He took a deep breath and began, "First off I want to reiterate that my door is always open if either of you need anything. That goes for on shift or off, got it?" He watched as they both nodded. He steepled his fingers and plunged ahead, "Now, I am aware of some troubles between you that happened a few days ago." He raised his hand when he saw Roy open his mouth to forestall any protest. "I don't know all the details and I don't need to know unless you wish to tell me. What I do need is assurance that you both can work with each other and with the other men of this shift. Can you give me that?"

Roy glared at Johnny but Johnny kept his gaze on his boss, his head slightly tilted as he listened. Once Cap finished, Roy stated, "You've got no problems with me, Cap. I can work with anybody. I've proved that many times before. It's not me you need worry about. I've proved I can work with all sorts of partners." He let his protests die as Cap continued staring at Johnny. Finally Johnny nodded and softly replied, "I'm good."

"Well then," Cap rubbed his hands together, "Let's . . ."

"STATION 51 MVA Avalon Blvd and E. Lincoln Street. Avalon Blvd and E. Lincoln Street. Time out 8:52"

Chapter Five

Cap grabbed up the mic even as he tore off the two sheets. "Station 51 KMG 365." He handed one slip to Roy and saw him hand it off to Johnny just like every other time as he climbed up beside Mike. Big Red followed the smaller squad out of the firehouse and down the street. From his high position, Mike could see Johnny's hands point as he guided Roy through traffic. It was achingly familiar yet poignantly depressing because somehow he knew that today, directions were the only conversation in that cab.

As they pulled up, they could see one vehicle had obviously run the light and broadsided the other. The car hit was no longer recognizable as far as make, model, or color. The other, a light truck, had the engine pushed into the cab.

Roy jumped out of the squad, and immediately trotted over toward Cap while Johnny began removing equipment.

"Cap, better see to those battery cables and wet down the area. Looks like a lot of fuel spilled. I'm gonna see if anyone survived in the car." He raised his voice, "Gage, check out the truck, then let me know what you have."

Startled by Roy taking immediate command, Cap merely nodded toward Chet and Marco who stood opened mouth. "Well, you heard him. Chet, take care of the cables, Marco, pull a reel line and wash down the area." His gaze then traveled over toward his youngest paramedic to see him, frozen, just a few feet away. With a sigh, Cap walked toward him just in time to see the man shake himself and grab up the equipment he'd piled at his feet.

"Here John, let me help you." He tried to sound cheerful as he grabbed half the gear out of the over-burdened paramedic's hands. Neither one said what they were thinking although Cap caught the hurt look in Johnny's eyes as he glanced once toward his partner's back before the mask of professionalism slid into place. Johnny placed the drug box and bio phone near the driver side door as he looked inside. Pinned beneath the repositioned front of the trunk was a teen, his eyes closed, blood trailing from his nose and mouth. He reached inward, his hand moving instantly for the boy's neck. "He's alive," he called back to his captain. "We need to get this engine off him, Cap."

Cap nodded in agreement, turning to give the order for the necessary equipment and startled as Roy suddenly appeared in front of him. He stepped hastily back as the older paramedic pushed his way up to the car, saying, "Both occupants in the car are beyond help, Cap. Call the meat wagon."

Cap gave a faint stunned nod at Roy's uncharacteristic attitude only to be more stunned as his senior paramedic then shoved away his junior paramedic, nearly knocking him to the ground in his hurry. "Move, Gage." He growled as he took a quick pulse and sized up the situation. "We need to get this engine moved, Cap. Get the jaws over here. Gage, get the mast suit, a c collar and a backboard and someone get on the horn to Rampart."

Numb, Johnny hurried off, not seeing the looks given him by the rest of the crew. In his head though his thoughts raced. Roy pulled me off care. He's never done that before. We've always shared care before. I can't believe this! I know he's still upset over jen but this! Never has any argument we've had in the past been brought into own work! Anger flared within him but he tempered it down, knowing the victim came first. By the time he returned with the requested equipment, Roy had the door open, an IV started, and was reaching out toward Johnny, an impatient look on his face. "Did you stop for coffee, Gage? This kid doesn't need you dawdling" He pulled the items from Johnny's hands and when Johnny moved to aid him, blocked any access to the victim with his body.

For the sake of room, Johnny pulled back, becoming a mere observer as Roy monitored the boy while the engine was moved, and loaded him in the ambulance with the aid of the attendants (who gave the dark haired paramedic puzzled glances while they lifted the victim and whisked him away.) Roy then stood and thrust the trauma box into Johnny's chest, his eyes blazing into his partner's as he growled. "Bring in the squad and don't take forever doing it." With that, he was gone.

Johnny stood silent and numb for several heartbeats, then shaking himself grasped the box firmer and turned. All of his shiftmates were gapping at him but he never met their eyes. He walked briskly to the squad, stored the box and with lights and siren on, followed the quickly disappearing ambulance. Shock still imprisoned the other members of the crew until some impatient motorist blasted a horn. Then Cap began ordering the clean up of the site and directed in both the approaching police car and tow trucks.

Later, as Chet helped Marco roll back up the hose, the Irishman commented, "Man! Did you see the way Roy treated Johnny? What's up with that?"

Marco shook his head sadly, his gaze meeting Mike's as the engineer moved to join them. Chet looked toward the engineer, "Did you see him? Did you hear him? He treated Johnny like a boot, -- no, worse than a boot -- like an untrained nuisance! Roy's never done that before, never! Not even to a trainee! And Johnny's no trainee, never was since both he and Roy started together. Both of them became certified on that same day when the bill passed! What the hell did we just see here?" Marco shook his head, "I don't know amigo, but I can tell you this; I didn't like it." Mike nodded in agreement as he climbed into the cab, "Neither did I, guys, neither did I."

Cap sighed heavily as he too climbed into the cab, Chet continuing to natter on as Mike put the big truck in gear. That headache that had started in the kitchen was now a full fledged rock breaker. He sighed as he rubbed his forehead, wondering what was happening to his crew and what he was going to do about it.

Back in the squad, the shock had worn off and Johnny was gripped by his famous temper. He could see Roy's attitude about Jenny's accident and could even forgive him for the obvious anger. But the patients always came first, no matter what difficulties they were having. That was the unwritten agreement that had bonded them as the best paramedic team for nearly four years. Enough silence, they had to talk, get this out, over and done so they could get on with what they had too.

He backed the truck in, slammed the door and walked angrily into the emergency room. He saw Roy standing in the customary place chatting pleasantly with Dixie, a cup of coffee in his hands. Dix looked up with a smile. "Hey Johnny."

"There you are." Roy said, "You did find your way to the hospital after all."

Dixie stifled a giggle and looked at Roy expectantly. When no story on Johnny getting lost or some other bit of fluff followed, she glanced at Johnny. And then did a double take.

Before her eyes, she saw the color rise in the dark haired man's cheeks as a muscle there twitched madly. Johnny Gage was angry and silent, a horrific combination.

Ignoring his partner's narrowed gaze, Roy grinned back at Dix and winked, "Oh yeah, I forgot. Gage is an Indian and we all know Indians never lose their way."

Bewildered and feeling left out of the joke, she gave a faint smile and looked again at the junior paramedic. Anger flashed in those chocolate brown eyes, replaced quickly by such hurt that Dixie nearly gasped. Then just as quickly, it was gone. Every bit of emotion eradicated from the chiseled features. "Squad's here." He said in a quiet voice then with a nod toward Dix he spun on his heel and left.

Uncomfortable with what had happened Dixie looked back toward Roy, expecting an explanation. Roy calmly continued sipping his coffee as if nothing unusual had occurred. Finally she blurted out. "Alright, what's going on?"

Roy blinked at her, "Going on?" he repeated.

Dixie pointed her pen in the direction Johnny had disappeared. "With you two. What was that all about?"

Roy nodded. "Oh. That." He finished his coffee.

Dixie sighed in exasperation. "Yes. That."

Roy shrugged nonchalantly, "Nothing really. Just call it a lesson in control, something of which Gage seems to have little of." He gave her another smile and left, walking down the hall with a relaxed jaunty air. Dr. Early came out of one of the treatment rooms as Roy strolled by. Grinning he approached Dix. "Well. Roy certainly is in a good mood."

Still looking after the figure of their friend Dixie made a face, "Roy might be, but somehow I don't think Johnny is." At Dr. Early's puzzled expression, she recounted the episode. He shook his head, frowning briefly. "Well. If that were anyone else other than our dynamic duo I'd be concerned, but, . . ." He spread his hands out and grinned, "This is Roy DeSoto and Johnny Gage we're talking about. Roy's probably just giving Johnny a hard time over one of his many zany actions. I'm sure we'll hear all about it later." Dixie turned her attention back to her files with a faint, "I suppose you're right." But somehow her intuition was telling her something more was involved.

Johnny sat stiffly in the passenger side as Roy slide into the vehicle. When Roy reached out a hand to flip over the engine, Johnny's hand stopped him. He looked up, meeting Johnny's eyes. "We need to talk." Johnny said.

Roy shook his head, "No we don't." He again tried to turn over the engine and this time Johnny let him. As they pulled forward, Johnny began, "Roy, what the hell just happened?"

Roy stared straight ahead, "About what."

Johnny sighed, "About what?!" His voice raised several octaves as his hands flew into the air. "About the accident scene! Taking over care from me! Roy, I am perfectly capable of handling any situation you are. There was no reason for you to relieve me. I'm a fully trained paramedic, just like you."

Roy suddenly pulled the squad over and rounded on his partner. The anger in his blue eyes made Johnny pull instinctively away as Roy ground out. "You are nothing – like- me. You are a menace, Gage. You don't pay attention to your surroundings and people who don't pay attention to their surroundings get themselves or others killed. You proved that when you didn't see that snake, you and Tim Duntley both proved it when you stopped to play with that monkey. Duntley died because of that. You got lucky that time. I don't intend to depend on luck for your next inattention to your surroundings and I sure as hell don't intend for any victim to suffer because of it either."

Johnny looked at his partner, his friend, seeing the truth of his convictions in his angry eyes, his flaring nostrils, and the determined jut of his jaw. Slowly, the younger man swallowed hard and as he did he felt something cry out deep in his heart. No trace of the mental agony he felt showed in his calm voice as he suggested, "If you feel that way, then maybe we shouldn't be partners any more."

Roy nodded, "Probably not. But the way I see it if I stick with you when the inevitable happens maybe I can save innocents from the backlash." He continued to glare at the silent still figure beside him, oblivious to the keening of the crushed soul hidden deep within his once friend. After several more silent moments, Roy turned on the turn signals and headed back out into traffic. Mortally wounded, Johnny remained silent. Roy glanced at him and gave a faint shrug, "What's more, I figure I owe that to the citizens of LA. After all, I was the one who recruited you. In a way, I believe that makes me responsible."

The wound through Johnny's soul widened and deepened.

Roy gave a faint chuckle as he pulled into the street before the station house and began backing up. "Besides, I promised Cap I could work with anybody, even you."

The light in Johnny's eyes died. It was over; his former life was slain. Now, all he could do was exist. He needed the job to keep body and soul together, even if the soul within that body was dead. As he had once before, Johnny pulled everything that made him who he was back and quietly buried it deep within. And no one yet knew that the figure that stepped out of the squad and walked calmly into the station wasn't alive anymore.

The remainder of the day passed in much the same manner with the squad called out on a few simple runs and the engine called out for one car fire. Johnny stayed out of the others way, his face stoic and his eyes emotionless whenever anyone tried to speak to him. Not knowing what else to do they gave up, leaving him alone. That is, all except Mike Stoker. Mike cornered the paramedic in the locker room as he cleaned a pair of shoes and sat down before him. He waited patiently, as silent as the younger man until finally, with a tired sounding sigh, Johnny raised his gaze to meet the engineer's. Mike just smiled at him, nodded, and gave him a firm pat on his back then rose and walked away. Johnny watched him leave, quick flashes of emotions racing across his face, then he settled it back into the mask he'd worn since their return from the accident and resumed polishing his shoes.

Unlike his younger partner, Roy acted as if nothing had changed, teasing his shiftmates, and seeming bewildered by their confused reactions to him. As the evening hours began, the men's thoughts turned away from the puzzling actions of the paramedics and toward their empty stomachs. "Hey, Marco," Chet called as he stuck his head into first the oven then the fridge. "I thought you had chow duty."

"I do, "Marco replied, not looking up from the Spanish paper he was reading. Chet came over to stand by his shoulder, hands on hips. From his peripheral vision Marco noticed he was joined by the other members of the crew. Even Johnny had wondered in from his self imposed isolation.

"So?" Chet asked.

"So what," Marco baited, a slight smile on his lips.

Chet waved his arms excitedly, "So where's supper? There's nothing in the oven or the fridge and you certainly aren't making something right now . . ."

Marco turned the page, nodding, "You are very correct, mi amigo."

Cap carefully cleared his throat, "Marco, it is supper time and we all are a mite hungry. You do intend for us to eat something, don't you?"

Marco put down his paper and nodded to his captain. "Si Cap, I do."

Cap spread his hands as he looked at his men, "So, when can we expect to eat?"

Just then the buzzer to the front door sounded and Marco stood, grinning, "Right now."

All five men followed him as he walked to the door.

"Aw, Marco, don't tell me you ordered out. The last place we tried was lousy." Chet groused.

"Well," Marco said as he opened the door, "You don't have to eat any then." Immediately a short stocky Hispanic woman bustled through the door, her arms laden with boxes. She stopped to give Marco a peck on the cheek. Cap's eyes widened, "Mrs. Lopez!" He quickly recovered from his shock and took the boxes from her. "Well, don't just stand there, help her out!" Instantly they scrambled to help.

As Johnny made to step past her, she caught his arm. "No mi hijo, you come here." She led him over to the sofa and sat, drawing him down beside her. She placed a gentle hand on either side of his face and looked deeply into his eyes. At first, he only looked back with the same stoic expression he'd worn all day but gradually his lips turned downward and she saw him blink rapidly as his breathing increased. Quickly she drew him closer to her ample bosom, clutching his head to her shoulder as she whispered in his ear. Chet moved closer in curiosity but her fierce glare sent him scuttling away. After a few heartbeats, she let Johnny pull back from her. She twyned her arm in his and patted his hand. "Come, Juanito, you must eat." She told him.

The others had already set the table and opened the boxes revealing the objects of the mouth watering aromas. "Here Momma," Marco pulled out a chair for his mother. She sat in the offered seat but didn't release Johnny, forcing Chet, who had been going to sit beside her to move to another chair. Once grace was said, she looked around at the expectant faces and smiled, "Well?" she asked, "Aren't you hungry?"

Thus released, hands moved quickly to fill plates. Adelina Lopez herself filled Johnny's plate and sat it before him. He looked up at her and gave a faint smile. She nodded and he began to eat, but without his usual enthusiasm.

The conversation around the table was sparse at first as mouths were more interested in filling stomachs. Then as less food was needed, talk began. From her place between her blood son and her heart son, she noticed Johnny didn't say a word. Even when Chet made a few snide comments in his direction, he either smiled or shook his head, depending on the expected reaction. Pretty soon, he was ignored as the others ate and teased.

When the meal was over, Chet looked over at Johnny with a mischievous grin. "You've got KP, remember Gage?"

Johnny nodded, stood and began clearing the table without a word. Chet frowned, momentarily confused by his pigeon's lack of retaliation. Marco frowned at Chet and grumbled, "Chet! No he doesn't. You know full well I was assigned Kitchen duty." He moved to take the dishes from Johnny's hands but the other man shook his head. "I'll do it." he told him quietly. "You visit with your momma." With that, he quickly finished clearing the table and began washing while the others conversed over coffee and baked goodies. After a while, Cap excused himself to do paperwork in his office. Then Mike headed off somewhere. Roy said he had call slips to do and Chet quickly left before someone found something for him to do. Only Marco and his mother remained at the table, talking quietly in Spanish and stealing looks toward the silent figure at the sink. Marco told his mother all that had happened that day, including Johnny's behavior once the squad had returned. "I don't know what if anything was said between them later momma but somehow I get a feeling there was. And I get an even worse feeling that what ever it was, wasn't good." Marco glanced back toward the office where he knew Roy was. "Roy. Well, Roy acts like nothing at all ever happened but Johnny is changed. Somehow, some way, he's changed." Adelina Lopez merely nodded her head in agreement.

Once the dishes where done, Johnny appeared at Mrs. Lopez's elbow. "Mrs Lopez if you give me the keys, I'll put these into your car." She frowned at him, one hand on her hip, "What did you call me John Roderick Gage?"

Her tone alerted Mike in the bay and Chet who was never far from eavesdropping. Both men moved toward the kitchen.

To their surprise, however, a slight smile stretched Johnny's lips as he ducked his head and corrected himself, "I'm sorry. May I have your keys Momma?"

She smiled and reached up to give his cheek a quick kiss. "Good boy. You remembered." She handed him her keys.

As Adelina Lopez watched Johnny carry the empty and cleaned plates back out to her car, she sighed heavily. Marco came over to her and wrapped an arm around her, kissing her temple. "That is one sad man, mi hijo." She told her son in Spanish. Marco nodded as he too stared after his shift mate. Momma tightened her grip around his waist. "You watch him, Marco, you watch him well."

Marco nodded, "I will Momma. You can count on it."

She nodded then patted his cheek, "I know you will; you are a good boy and a good friend." She looked back to where Johnny had finished the task and closed the car door. She shook her head, "I haven't seen that mask on his face since he first came to LA and I don't like this."

Marco found himself echoing Mike's words from the accident scene, "Neither do I, Momma, neither do I."