A/N: No I'm not dead, I've just been completely overrun by exams and life has been really stressful lately, so sorry about the lack of updates. As a small bandaid, I've tried to make this one extra long. Huge thanks for the amazing reviews, I really really love those and they always make me smile, so please keep them coming.
roseinthegarden: I promise to keep writing as long as the ideas keep coming. Feel free to suggest something, I'm always up for fun ideas
Curley-Q: Thank you, glad you liked it
Crystal: Yeah, he should have. Hope you liked Bruce the Dog
Moniqueblack20: Thank you so much, glad you love it
Problem Child1: I really appreciate your review, as I really enjoy your work. So huge thanks for the compliments!

Land down under

Rory was looking around the huge airport. She suddenly felt extremely nervous she wasn't going to be able to find Finn and she would spend three weeks in the Kingsford Smiths Airport, living of snickers and Gatorade, sleeping on the floor with the immigrants.

She looked around frantically; everywhere people where pushing past her, and it was hard to keep cool. She was tired after the long flight and she missed Finn a lot. Someone grabbed her arm and Rory was just about to scream, when she was turned around and faced with a smiling Finn.

"Told you not to wander off" he laughed, as she almost jumped into his arms.

"I've missed you" Rory said, still hugging him.

"Liar, you were just worried you'd be stuck here, living off peanuts and Kool-Aid."

"Snickers and Gatorade! But I'm still really glad to see you."

"You too, love" he said and gave her a kiss. "Ready to meet my horrible family?"

"I can't imagine them being any worse than mine" Rory said, as Finn grabbed her bag and they trotted down to get the rest of her luggage. Which were a lot. "Did you apply for citizenship and neglect to tell me" he asked, as Rory claimed her third suitcase.

"Well I wasn't sure what to expect, so I just tried to pack for everything."

Finn pulled a tropical hat out of her back. "Did you expect a trip down the Amazon River?"

"Australia is hot" Rory defended.

"Yeah, but Sydney's not. It's winter, love."

"Right. I knew that, I just wanted to be prepared."

"Sure. You got all your stuff?"

"I think so."

"Alright, let's get going" Finn said and grabbed another bag with a sigh.

"So, where are we going, exactly" Rory asked, as Finn pulled out of the car park.

"Home" he just said.

"You live here?" Rory was staring at the huge apartment complex. Sure, it was pretty fancy and it was definitely huge apartments, but still… The few times Finn had talked about his home, this was definitely not what she had imagined.

"My sister lives here, when she goes to school. I've been crashing here for a few days, I just need to pick up a few things."

"Oh, okay."

Finn unlocked the door and led her inside. It certainly was a nice place. "Wow, your sister sure has taste" Rory noted, looking around. Art was hanging on the walls and there was an open floor plan. Above the dining table a huge black and white photograph was hanging, picturing a surfer looking out over the water. "That's really nice."

"Yeah, Ryder took it a couple of years ago, during a warm summer evening. The waves were perfect."

"That's you?"

"Yup." Finn picked up a shirt and a couple of books. "Okay, I just need to find the keys to my car and Ryder's camera and we can get going."

"She seems really talented" Rory said, noticing a few other photographs around the apartment.

Finn shrugged. "Wanna see my bedroom." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Seriously?" Rory raised an eyebrow.

"It's been a while, love."

"Won't we be late?"

"Late for what?"

"I don't know, meeting your parents or something like that. Wouldn't Ryder mind?"

"It's not like she's lurking in the closet, love. She won't know…"

Rory bit her lip. "Lead the way…"

"What are they like? Your parents?"

"We just had sex and you want to talk about my parents" Finn questioned.

"Well, when you put it like that it sounds wrong, but I'm nervous…"

Finn sighed. "They're like every other parent, I suppose. My dad is a little strange."

"He acted like I wasn't even in the room at the hospital."

"Yeah well, that's just Bruce. He'll be nicer this time. I think." Finn's eyebrows knitted together. "My youngest sister, Idina, she's a bit of a moron, try not to laugh too openly about it."

"What about Ryder?"

"She'll be occupied, trust me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not the only one bringing home a girlfriend."

"Seriously?"

"Her name is Kate and she's apparently an anthropology major or something like that. My mum is gonna love that."

"Ok wow. I always thought… The way you talked about her…"

Finn shrugged. "Ryder likes to piss of our parents even more than I do. It'll be fun to watch."

"Ok so I shouldn't be nervous?"

"Kate should be nervous! You just try not to laugh at my silly family. Which reminds me…. My grandfather lives with us."
"Ok so?"

"So there's a reason for that. He's a complete headcase. He has always suffered from some pretty grand illusions, but he had a stroke a few years back and since that… Well, long story short, he sometimes has these episodes where he thinks he's Napoleon, and sometimes he runs around the house naked."

Rory had to stifle a laugh. "You're kidding?"

"Oh I wish. Although it was kind of amusing to watch my father tackle my naked grandfather to the ground last summer, when he got away from the nurse. Oh man… "

"Okay, so this will be fun, right?"

"It'll definitely be something" Finn said.

Rory tried not to stare too much, as Finn pulled into the biggest driveway she had ever seen. It made her grandparents' look miniature in comparison. "Wow."

"Welcome to Morgan Manor" Finn said.

"Morgan Manor."

"I believe I already told you that my grandfather suffers from grand illusions. Well, he named this place and yeah… Like I said, try not to laugh too much."

"It's so huge!"

"So many jokes comes to mind right now" Finn snickered and parked the car. "So, let's get you introduced before Ryder DeGeneres shows up with her girlfriend."

"Finn" a girly voice screamed and something blond and pink threw itself at him, before Finn had even closed the front door.

"Hey Monkey" Finn said, hugging the blond and pink thing. "How are you?"

"I told you not to call me monkey!"

"And I told you it'll be a great stage name for when you're an underweight runway model." He untangled himself. "Dina, this is my girlfriend, Rory."

Rory tried to smile at Finn's sister, who looked like a Barbie doll. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"I thought you'd have red hair" was Idina's greeting.

Rory gave Finn a look, but he just looked amused. "Um… No" Rory said, unsure.

"Where's mum" Finn asked.

"Out back, she was up all night fighting with dad."

"And dad is where?"

Idina shrugged. "I'm not their keeper."

Finn sighed. "Well thanks Monkey, you've been ever so helpful."

"What?"

Finn rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Come on love." He took Rory's hand and led her through the house (mansion, she corrected herself). They went through the biggest kitchen Rory had ever seen and out through some very fancy French doors and were now standing on a rather large terrace. "Mum" Finn called out.

"Oh hello dear" a cheerful voice called. A tall woman emerged from behind a bush, inconspicuously putting out a cigarette with her left foot. "And you must be Lory?"

"Rory" Rory corrected, a little nervous.

"Right, of course" she said with a smile and put her hands on Rory's shoulder (making Rory even more nervous). "Now, let me look at you. You look like your grandmother. And that's a compliment!"

"You know my grandparents?"

"Yes, I've met them a few times, very nice people" Mrs Morgan said with a big smile. She turned to her son. "And how are you?"

"Just fine" he said.

"Good. I assume you have spoken to your sister?"

"Yes. I heard you have too" Finn said with a devilish smile.

"This is not funny, Finn" she said in a stern tone, but immediately changed tune when she remembered Rory was standing next to Finn. "But never mind that. Did you have a nice flight over here, dear?"

"Yeah, it was fine. You have a very lovely home, Mrs Morgan" Rory complimented, thinking her grandmother would have been proud.

"Oh please call me Sheila, dear" Mrs Morgan said. Rory bit the inside of her lip and forced out a smile. She was gonna tease Finn about that later. "Why don't you too get situated, I've made up the second guest bedroom from right for you, dear. Bruce will be home shortly and Ryder and her…. friend… will be here soon too, I believe. Then we'll have dinner and a nice chat." Mrs Morgan's smile wavered a little, but she kept up a brave face.

"Sounds good, mum" Finn said as he started to lead Rory back to the hall to claim her bags. "Remember to pick up the butt." She blushed a little and bent down to pick up the cigarette butt.

"Your parents names are Bruce and Sheila!"

"I'm aware" Finn said, as he led her and all her luggage down the hallway on the second floor.

"Did you grow up in a Monty Python sketch?"

"Not quite" he said and opened a door for her. "We'll store your things here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, obviously love, you'll be sleeping in my room."

"I think it's obvious your mother doesn't want that, seeing as she's made up a guestroom for me."

"Please, she'll be so occupied by Ryder and her "friend" to even care."

"Finn I'm not gonna disrespect your parents!"

"Like they don't already know we're having sex" he snorted and threw himself on the bad. "But if you don't want me, I suppose that's fine…"

Rory rolled her eyes. "You should've been a drama major, you girl! Now come on, I wanna see you room."

"Oh look who's changing her tune all of the sudden" he snickered, but obliged and let her a few rooms down the hall. "No judging" he said, before opening the door.

Rory stepped inside and looked around. The room was a little bigger than her old room, but otherwise it looked pretty much like every other room, she figured. A couple of posters hang on the walls; one was for the movie 'Jaws', another from some kind of surfing competition. A bookshelf was pushed up against one of the walls, and a bed made up the other wall. She noticed a few trophies on a shelf and took a closer look. "Hey you won a surfing competition once?"

"I sure did. Also the only one I ever won, but still…" He sat down on the bed. "The others are for football."

"American football or?"

"Like the proper kind of football that you play with your feet" he smirked. "Soccer, for you yanks."

Rory was just about to ask him about a photo of him and a girl, when someone practically burst through the door.

"Ryder's here" Idina announced, looking somewhat gleeful. "Dad too."

Finn stood up and stretched. "Right. Let the show begin!"

The first thing Rory noticed was Finn's twin sister. She was pretty much the female version of Finn; tall, tanned, curly dark hair and piercing green eyes. Rory figured that if you put Ryder in a leotard and gave her a golden lasso, she'd look like Wonder Woman.

She was standing in the kitchen with another girl, who Rory assumed must be Kate, the anthropology major. On the opposite side of the kitchen stood Finn's father, Bruce, and Sheila was nowhere in sight. The whole situation seemed extremely awkward.

"Hey brother" Ryder greeted with a somewhat strained smile.

"It's my lesbian sister" Finn smirked and gave her a hug.

"Finn" Mr Morgan warned. Rory noticed he was wearing glasses today and that somehow, he had managed to look both amused and disapproving at the same time. He was actually a very handsome man, Rory thought, in an elderly kind of way. "Let's get this over with: There will be a few house rules during what is sure to an absolutely fun-filled weekend." Rory thought he couldn't have sounded more insincere, even if he had tried. Mr Morgan looked at his son. "There will be no more climbing out of second story windows in the middle of the night, everyone drives their own cars, which also mean that if you should happen to wreck said car, you walk!" Another stern look in Finn's direction. "No smoking inside, no Anne Heche jokes, no rugby, and for god's sake, try to keep the sex-noise down to a minimum!" He sighed. "Also, please try to refrain from using any facilities on the third floor, as my father has just announced that he is trying to plan the invasion of Russia and therefor does not wish to be disturbed."

Rory gave Finn a look, but he just smiled at her.

"Now that we have gotten that out of the way; I am Bruce, the unlucky father of Finn, Ryder and Idina. Sheila, their mother, will be out back pretending not to smoke and…" He stared at Rory's feet and she noticed that a huge dog was lying under the kitchen table. "That's Bruce the Dog." He took a deep breath. "Good, now I want everyone who doesn't bear the last name 'Morgan' to please take a step forward."

Rory noticed Finn had grabbed Idina's arm, as she tried to take a step forward. He really hadn't been lying about her. Rory and Kate gave each other a look and both took a tentative step forward. An awkward silence followed where everyone just stared at everyone.

"Introduce yourselves, please" Mr Morgan said.

"Oh um… I'm Rory and we uh, we actually met when Finn was in the hospital" Rory said nervously.

"Really? Which time?"

"The last time" Finn said. "But you were busy being mad at me, so you might not remember."

Mr Morgan looked like he couldn't have cared less. "So that makes you the journalist major and non-lesbian."

"Way to be tactful, dad" Ryder snarked and threw an orange at Finn, who was shaking with laughter. "This family suck!"

"I have so many comebacks that I don't even know where to begin." Finn was practically shaking with laughter now.

"Oh my god, you have the maturity-level as a teaspoon" Ryder yelled and grabbed Kate's hand, dragging her out of the kitchen.

"We'll have to hospitalize her along with your grandfather one day" Mr Morgan said with a headshake. "Idina, my dear. How was school?"

Idina, who had said nothing this entire time, gave her father a blank stare. "School?"

"Yes, the place you go everyday, that is costing me a small fortune."

"Oh um, it was fine, I think. We talked about this guy, python… I think he was like really into snakes or something." Rory had to bite her lip.

"That wouldn't happen to be Pythagoras" Mr Morgan asked.

"Oh yeah, that's right… So what, did he like train snakes?"

"Dear, go find your mother and tell her the food will be here soon." He gave Finn a look, as Idina sashayed out of the kitchen. "It's a good thing she's pretty."

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was gathered in the dining room, which Rory thought could have been done by the same person who had worked on her grandparents' dining room.

The food was being delivered, as the cook was apparently on vacation and Mrs Morgan couldn't be bothered to cook, as Mr Morgan put it. They all sat down, even Finn's grandfather, who was wearing a very big hat and kept talking about those "wretched Russians".

"So Finn, have you thought about my offer" Mr Morgan asked.

"I think I made my feeling on that subject abundantly clear when I climbed out of a second story window with a pair of fractured ribs" Finn said, not bothering to look at his father.

Mr Morgan only rolled his eyes. "You're being stupid."

"I'm pretty sure most people would be proud to have a kid in med-school. Let Ryder do it, she's more capable anyway."

"Yes I am" Ryder agreed without even a shred of modesty.

"She'd even sleep with her secretary like a real CEO is supposed to do" Finn snickered and received a kick under the table.

"Finn dear, not now" Mrs Morgan said.

"Yeah Finn, we're ignoring the gay away" Ryder said in a sour tone. Rory noticed that Kate seemed completely fascinated by her salad.

"Ryder, dear, that is not the case. I merely wish you would…. Think things over before going public with something that might…"

"Might what, mum? Embarrass you and dad?"

"No, I really don't care either way" Mr Morgan said, cheeking his phone. "I much prefer this one over the last one."

Finn leaned over. "The last one was Logan" he whispered to Rory.

"You're kidding?"

He shook his head. "It was a complete train wreck."

"Ryder, you know that's not the case, I simply don't understand… I mean, is this my fault?"

"This has nothing to do with you, mum" Ryder said in an exasperated tone.

"No but I can't help thinking… Maybe if I hadn't let you cut your hair and attend soccer practise with Finn…"

"Oh my god, mum, soccer does not make someone gay! You made Finn go to dancing until he was twelve and he's still fucking everything with a vagina!"

"Hey, we're not talking about me now" Finn said in a loud voice, obviously embarrassed.

"You used to dance" Rory snickered.

"Shut up Gilmore" he said with a frown, but his cheeks turned a little pink.

"Language, please" Mrs Morgan said, still trying to keep her smile in place. "Then what? Are you doing this to punish us? Because your father won't let you succeed him?"

"Yes mum, that's exactly why I am doing this! I thought: gee, what can I do to make dad realize I'm much smarter than my moron brother? I know, I'll become a lesbian! That'll show them!"

"Well is that your reason" Mrs Morgan asked, finally giving up trying to keep her tone pleasant.

"Of course not!"

"Then please explain it to me! Because you brought home a very nice boy last year, so excuse me if I am a little confused!"

"There was nothing nice about that Logan Hunchback person" Mr Morgan interjected. "He stole my cigars and drank all my scotch!"

"I like Scots. They wear skirts" Idina said with a smile, obviously very proud of herself for partaking in the conversation.

"Thank you, dear" Mr Morgan said with a somewhat sad smile.

"Ryder, is it difficult for you to understand, that if you bring home a guy one minute and a girlfriend the next then your family might be a little confused" Mrs Morgan asked.

"Finn's doesn't mind" Ryder said, pointing at her brother.

"Correction, Finn doesn't care" Finn said. "That goes for the company too."

"Ok wow, thank you Finn, you really know how to have your sister's back. Lory, remind me to show you some pictures from Finn's emo-period later!"

"It's Rory, actually" Rory coughed, trying not to choke on her carrot. "Emo?"

"Look at time flying when you're being a total bitch" Finn muttered. "Isn't it time for dessert?"

"No we're talking about this now, as it apparently a really big issue" Ryder almost yelled.

"Oh come on Ry, the only one making it an issue is you" Finn mocked.

"God, why are you punishing us" Mrs Morgan said in a whispered tone, but Ryder seemed to hear her.

"Oh that's nice mum, really! God must be punishing you, that's why I'm doing this!" Ryder abruptly stood up and took Kate's hand. "Obviously we're not welcome here, so we'll leave." They started to make their way away from the table, Kate looking extremely embarrassed.

"Ryder, please don't be like this" Mrs Morgan begged, following her. "Maybe if you talked to someone, we talked to someone… A priest maybe" Rory could her Mrs Morgan say somewhere outside the dining room.

"You can't pray the gay away, mum" was the last thing Rory heard Ryder yelling, before a door was slammed.

"Well that was certainly awkward" Finn muttered, expression Rory's exact feelings.

"Yes, your mother's not religious, your sister knows that" Mr Morgan said in a detached tone. "Hand me potatoes."

"I think that was the most awkward family dinner I have ever sat through" Rory said, as she sat down on Finn's bed. The rest of dinner had been spent in very quiet smalltalk, only erupted by Finn's grandfather suddenly yelling "Waterloo" and then storming off. Rory seemed to be the only one who had noticed.

Finn shrugged. "It makes the top five."

"Your family is really strange."

"Yeah but you were warned" Finn smirked and lay down next to her.

"Yeah and so many questions were answered tonight" she teased him. "But I have t ask…. Bruce the Dog?"

"Oh yeah, forgot to mention that. My grandfather's name is actually Bruce; it's a family name. But apparently my dad was teased mercilessly about it in school and decided to break that tradition, obviously" Finn explained. "But then grandfather got sick and to make him happy we named the dog Bruce, so the name would stay in the family. And when Bruce the Dog makes the mature decision to procreate we will of course name one of the little buggers Bruce as well."

Rory gaped at him. "Your family is completely insane!"

"I don't disagree, but aren't you just glad my name isn't Bruce?" He kissed the side of the neck and up her throat.

"Fiiiiinn" Rory protested, not really protesting. "You heard your father's rules."

"Yeah, so just keep it down and we'll be fine" he said inbetween the kisses.

"Did you really have emo hair?"

He stopped abruptly. "Okay, the mood is killed. I don't want to talk about that."

"Come on" she teased. "And you danced."

"On second thought, bringing you here was a shit idea!"

Rory kissed him with a smile. "I'm sure you were adorable."

"Course I was" he said, kissing her back. "So, you're really gonna stay in that dusty old guestroom?"

"It's not dusty" she argued.

"There might be spiders in there!"

"Finn! Don't be mean!"

"And dingoes…."

"Now you're just stupid."

He waggled his eyebrows at her. "Come on love, I promise they won't care either way and wouldn't it be much nicer waking up next to me than Bruce?"

"Well that depends, is it Bruce your father or Bruce the Dog?"

"Only one way to find out…"

Rory pouted at him. "I've never slept with a boyfriend before."

"That, love, I know to be a lie… Thank god!"

"You know what I mean…"

"You've stayed over at my dorm a million times. In fact, I seem to recall more than one time I've had to kick you out of the bed."

"Only because your some kind of freaky morning person" she pouted. "I don't know, won't it weird?"

"I think it's weirder that you insist on staying in a separate room." He kissed her again.

In the end Finn had managed to persuade Rory to stay, even though it had been weird at first and she had insisted on Finn keeping both hands above the cover at all times, too which he had just laughed. Right now she was stumbling through the enormous mansion, trying to remember the way to the kitchen. Finally she found it and was momentarily blinded by the harsh light that was already turned on.

"Sneaking around so soon" Ryder's voice greeted her.

"Oh god, you scared me" Rory gasped.

Ryder didn't apologize. Instead she seemed to take great pleasure in staring at Rory's dishevelled appearance. "Nice shirt. Liked it on my brother earlier today too."

"Oh um…" Rory could feel herself turning an unflattering crimson red.

"Please, like I didn't know you two are sleeping together" Ryder said with a knowing smirk. "Sit." Rory obediently sat down. "What's he like?"

"Finn?" Ryder nodded. "He's your brother."

"Yeah, which means I only know the really gross surfer dude who comes home three times a year to catch waves and get tanned."

"Oh I thought you two were really close?"

"Yeah, but still… It's hard to be close when you far apart."

"He's nice."

"Yeah? Then why did you dump him?"

"He told you?"

Ryder nodded. "Called me all frazzled and asked why all girls were horrible."

"I think we had a little miscommunication. I… It's hard for me, sometimes. I dated Logan briefly."

"Ahh, good old Logan rears his ugly blond head. I hope Finn teases him about turning me gay."

"Are you really? Gay, I mean. I don't mean to be rude, it's just…"

Ryder waved her hand and rolled her eyes. "I don't like labels. Kate is pretty and nice and honestly?" Ryder's smile widened and she suddenly looked a lot like Finn, "she really pisses off my parents."

"So it's because your father won't let you take over the company?"

Ryder shrugged. "Partly. He will, eventually. Finn's never gonna do it, that's becoming more and more obvious. He's applied to med-school in the states and he's always gonna be more interested in pipe waves than a hostile takeover." She took a deep breath and smiled. "Me, on the other hand… I love a hostile takeover."

"Can I ask you something" Rory asked. Ryder nodded. "Did he really have emo hair?"

Ryder laughed. "Oh yeah, it was awful. He had to straighten it every day, because otherwise it just looked like an afro. God, that was an awkward phase for him."

"How old was he?"

"Fourteen. It didn't last too long, thank god." Ryder narrowed her eyes at Rory. "Do you love him?"

"I uh…" Rory thought it was impossible to blush even more than she already did, but here she was, standing in a huge kitchen with her sister's boyfriend, blushing even more.

"He loves you…"

"He hasn't said…"

"He doesn't have too, it's obvious." Ryder took a sip of her water. "It's nice, seeing him like this. He's still a jerk, but…" She gave Rory a smile, a genuine one. "It's nice seeing him happy."

Rory wasn't sure what to say, so she just scuffled her feet around a little. "I should probably… Yeah, I'll just go back." She practically fled the kitchen, completely ignoring the fact that she was thirsty, which was why she had gone down there in the first place.

She walked into Finn's room again and noticed that Bruce the Dog had managed to sneak in and was now lying in the foot of the bed, watching her with it's blue eyes. "Shoo" she whispered, trying to get it to move. "Come on, shoo…"

"It's not gonna work" Finn muttered, eyes still closed.

"I thought you were sleeping."

"Not anymore. Come here." He lifted the cover for her to crawl down under. "Nice shirt."
"Yeah, your sister thinks so too."

"Mm, does she know?" He kissed her neck. "Was she at least nice?"

"Kinda. It's hard to tell" Rory whispered, trying to find room for her feet between Finn and the dog. "Hey Finn?" She turned around a little, so she was facing him.

"Yeah" he said, sounding half asleep already.

"I love you."

A/N: So yeah, I know insanity isn't something to joke about, but I just couldn't help myself. My grandfather's brother actually believes he is Napoleon Bonaparte and he seems genuinely happy anyways, just like the rest of my family is fine with the situation, so I don't see the harm in making a little light of it. If anyone's offended, then i truly do apologize, I mean no harm and I am very aware that mental illness can be a serious matter