Over the next few days Matt was busy exploring the orphanage, becoming better friends with Lily, avoiding the older boys which he had learned the names of (Mich, Fire, Percy, and Mike) ,and last, but certainly not least, prying into Mello's personal life. The blonde was stubborn and Matt was ending up hitting the wall most of the time. He hadn't learned much. The things he had learned he learned from others. Lily keep telling Matt over and over that he was suicidal.

"Why do you even care?" She would ask, irritation and concern in her voice. Matt would just shrug and answer "I just find him interesting."

Then he would change the subject and Lily would forget about Mello for a time.

….

Matt woke up for the third time that week in a cold sweat. His nightmares had started the second night at the orphanage. He would always wake, shaking and usually crying. Although Mello was never in the room when Matt woke, Matt still wondered if Mello noticed. The thought made Matt scowl. Mello must see him as a child.

Matt was still scowling when, like every morning so far, Mello came out of the bathroom. Dressed and a towel over his wet, straw colored hair.

"Morning!" Matt tried to say brightly. Mello looked at him, which was unusual. Matt had never gotten a reaction on his first try. This would normally please Matt, but the reasons worried him.

"What?" Matt chirped, smiling. Mello's eyes narrowed "You sound different."

"I don't feel any different." Matt said brightly and Mello looked away. He began to stack his books together.

"Why do you have so many?" Matt asked, pointing at the growing stack. Mello didn't answer. Try as he might Matt didn't get another reaction. Mello stuffed the books into his bag and left.

The sound of the door slamming made Matt smile. He wasn't sure why, but he found it comforting. Matt jumped up and after a quick trip to the bathroom changed into a long sleeved white shirt and jeans. He fixed his goggles that had become crooked during his time in bed and left room thirteen.

People were already milling around in the hallway, greeting each other. Matt caught up with Lily and together they walked toward the dining room. Matt ate his cereal slowly and almost gagged on his plum juice. Lily was chatting with a boy on her other side. He looked around the same age as her and was nodding as she spoke.

Everyone was talking about their plans for Christmas. The holiday was a little more than a week away and apparently the week before Christmas was the only time the orphans were aloud to leave the orphanage.

Matt sighed and stood, half his bowl full. Lily didn't notice as he slipped out of the dining hall and into the hall beyond. Nowhere left to go but back to his room. Matt trotted toward the dorm hall. He had to take a detour when he saw Mich's gang. He wondered momentarily if they were looking for him. All the better reason to go back to the dorm.

Matt pasted the library and spotted Near, the small albino boy was skimming through a world history book. Matt sped up so Near wouldn't see him. Not that it mattered the boy would probably think he was above talking to Matt after all Matt's "ums"
Mello wasn't back yet so Matt took the time to take a shower. He came out clean and smelling of soap. He was feeling refreshed and calm in till he was almost knocked down by Mello.

"Hey!" Matt cried as he fell back against the wall. But Mello paid no attention to him as he continued to dart around the room. A string of curse words flowed from his mouth as he did so.

"What are you looking for?" Matt asked, massaging his shoulder. Mello didn't respond, instead he ran to his bag and rummaged through it desperately. He swore loudly and glared around. He stood up and made his way over to Matt's bed.

"I didn't do or take anything! Hey what are you-" Matt started to ask but Mello merely lifted up Matt's pillow and pulled back his sheets. Matt lunged forward to cover the same square object from under his pillow. But Mello, seeing the movement grabbed it before Matt even reached the bed. Matt protested as Mello turned the DS around in his fingers.

"What is this?" Mello asked, explaining the small device. Matt stared at the floor "It's nothing."

Mello's glared icily at Matt then raised the DS up high and dropped it.

"No!" Matt cried. Mello's other hand shot out and caught the piece of technology. He smirked "I'll ask again. What is this?"

Matt muttered something under his breath and Mello raised a smug eyebrow "What was that?

"It's a game." Matt said, louder this time. Mello's smirk broadened and he threw the little game system at Matt who barely catch it.

"What were you looking for anyway?" Matt asked, cradling the game system in his palms. He checked the game, making sure it was undamaged. Mello snorted and turned away "Go away."

Matt glared at the back of the blonde's head "This is my room too!"

"No, it's not." Mello began walking toward the open closest "It's my room, you may sleep here but I have been here for eight years."

Matt picked up the nearest book and launched it at Mello's head. Mello turned around quicker than lightning. His hand snapped up and catch the leather bond book. Matt barely had time to blink before Mello's hand closed around his throat and he was, once again, slammed to the wall. He choked and pulled at Mello's arm.

"I would kill you," Mello hissed and Matt's eyes widened in fear as Mello's grip tightened, cutting of his air supple.

"But..." Mello continued dropped Matt to the floor where he crumpled"This was the book I was looking for."

Matt clutched his neck and coughed, feeling bile rise in his throat. He knew that he would soon have a bruise. Mello plopped down onto his bed and flicked through the book till he found what he was looking for. He began scribble down words in his notebook. Not even looking at Matt who was still painfully coughing.

"what... is...that?" Matt asked in between coughs and gasping breaths.

"Don't push your luck." Mello snapped, try to concentrate on the words on the page. Matt glared up at the blonde, he had recovered from his coughing fit and was just trying to catch his breath now.

"I thought things would be different here." He muttered, rubbing his aching throat. Mello's eyes flicked to him then back to his book "Your annoying me, leave."

Matt used the wall to push himself up and used it to steady himself as he stared at Mello. Slowly he made his way toward the blonde's bed. Mello didn't look up till Matt had stopped in front of his bed. Mello narrowed his eyes. Matt's expression was blank.

Then, without warning, Matt spat on Mello's cheek.

Dead silence. Mello's eyes slowly widened, his hand rose to his cheek. He wiped the saliva from his cheek and stared at his fingers. Matt's lips twitched upward into a smirk.

Smack!

Matt fell to the ground, his cheek stinging. His goggles were knocked askew and he felt something warm in his mouth. He almost choked as his mouth filled with blood. He opened his mouth and red liquid flowed from his mouth, a white tooth fell with it. He felt a sharp pain in his stomach as a foot connected with his side. Matt moaned in pain as Mello loomed over him.

"Little twit!" Mello shrieked, kicking the younger red-head's arm, hard. He leaned down and gripped a handful of Matt's scarlet hair. Matt struggled weakly as Mello opened the door and threw Matt against the opposite wall with a thud. Matt couldn't even hear the slamming of the door through his throbbing head. He lay there, blood dripped from the corner of his mouth.

"Ugh..." He groaned, slowly placing his hands on the floor and pushing himself up. He had to get away, away from Mello, away from room thirteen. He stumbled away, clutching his aching arm. He avoid anyone that came into sight. He finally collapsed into an empty broom closest. He leaned his head against the wall, breathing hard, tears trickled from his eyes.

He sat there. Stomach hallow and growling. He heard someone calling his name but he didn't answer. Try as he might he couldn't keep his eyes from slipping. He pushed his goggles away from his wet eyes and gave into the darkness.

The nightmare swam into his mind.

A ginger haired woman stood over him. Her brown eyes full of angry and hate. She raise her hand and six year-old Matt was slapped to the floor. His already swallow cheek grew even redder as she slapped him again and again and again. Tears squeezed out from between his swelling eyes. Matt tried to run but the woman threw him to the ground. He coward away, his red hair covering his goggleless eyes.

"Mother!" The young boy groaned, trying to shield his face as his mother's foot connecting with his temple. His vision blurred and he whimpered. The last thing he saw was a broken bottle and his mother's red bloodshot eyes.

Matt woke with a start. His eyes brimming with tears and dark speckles of water on his shirt. His head ached and his brow was covered with sweat. He groaned at the pain in his stomach. He leaned over an empty bucket and emptying what was left in his stomach into it. His cheeked throbbed and his arm still hurt. He sucked in a breath and gagged at the smell of his own vomit. He shakily stood and followed the wall till he was out in the hallway.

Was he willing to risk going back to room thirteen? No, he wasn't.

He stumbled to the nearest bathroom and tired his best to clean himself up. There wasn't anything he could do about his cloths but he washed out his mouth and neatened up his hair. He fixed his goggles and took a deep breath.

"I'm a mess." He muttered, staring into the mirror across from him. He hurried toward the dorm hall, he arrived just as the last of the children exited their room.

He followed a small brown haired boy into the dining room where Lily spotted him at once. She ran over to him and took his ragged appearance in "Where were you yesterday? I was looking all over for you!"

"I was outside." Matt lied, taking his seat while Lily hovered over him. He forced his voice to sound bright and happy.

As it turned out, pancakes was the first meal of the day. Matt's forced smile became a real one as he attacked his cinnamon pancake with syrup then demolished it with his fork. Lily sat beside him, nibbling on her own apple pancakes. Matt took a long gulp of orange juice then downed the rest of his pancake in two mouthfuls.

"Um, do you really like pancakes?" Lily asked as Matt practically licked his plate clean. He grinned "This is the second time I've ever had them. We had them at school once, for lunch because the cooks were low on pretty much everything"

"Your parents never made you pancakes?" Lily asked, spreading butter into the smooth surface of her fluffy, doughy, disk. Matt stared down at his plate "No."

Lily looked down at her plate to, sensing she was breaching a painful subject "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked..."

Matt shook his head and smiled at her "No no! It's fine. Well, I'm done, see you later!"

He hopped down from his seat before Lily could say anything else. He speed walked out of the hall and toward the front doors. He stepped out into the snow and keep walking till he reached a large-leafless oak. He slumped against it and took his goggles off. He wiped his misty eyes and stared at the blindingly white snow. He had been crying so much lately...

"Look at me." Matt muttered, letting out a watery chuckle "I'm pathetic."

"Yes you are, shrimp."

Matt froze. It was Mich's voice. Matt quickly shoved his orange tinted goggles onto his face before he jumped up. He turned to face the boy and his gang which had come up from behind.

Come on! Seriously? This was the last thing he needed!

"Go away Mich." Matt glared at the big boy who smirked. He advanced and Matt took a step back. Mich laughed "Scared?"

"It was just porridge Mich! Get over it! I'm not in the mood!" Matt snapped, glaring at Mich. Mich scowled "Say that to my face!"

"I just did." Matt shouted back. Mich shoved the smaller boy against the oak tree "I don't like your tone shrimp."

"God! Go away!" Matt shouted "You are like this person that is always there when I need to be alone! Go away!"

This earned him a punch to the gut.

"Your mouth is going to get you in trouble if you don't shut it." Mich sneered as Matt hunched over, retching. Mich linked his hands and slammed them down on Matt's already aching back. Matt fell to the ground. Snow tangled into his eyebrows and he spat red into the white. The other boys laughed and jeered as Matt pushed himself up only to be pushed back to the ground. Matt gasped as Mich foot slammed into his leg. Matt clutched his leg, sure it was sprained or broken.

He attempted to pull himself up, leaning on his good leg. Mich sent him right back into the snow with a fist to the jaw. A piece of bark snagged against Matt's forehead, leaving a large bleeding gash. He blinked the blood out of his eyes. Mich seized the front of his shirt, lifting him into the air. He drew his fist back. Matt shut his eyes, preparing for the pain.

But it never came.

Matt opened his eyes to see that a gloved hand had caught Mich's exposed one. A whirl of blonde hair blinded him and before he knew it Mich had dropped him and was sprawled in the snow. His nose bleeding.

Mello glared down at Mich. Sidestepping so he was in front of Matt, almost protectively. Mich's gang had frozen, staring at Mello. Mich groaned and tried to get up. Mello kicked him back down and glared at his gang "Scat. All of you. Take this piece of garbage with you."

Every face in the gang had gone white. Fire and Percy rushed forward and scooped up Mich. Mello watch them go, disgust written all over his face.

"Mello." Matt breathed, his eyes widening. The blonde turned and knelt beside the red head, his glare fading. He took in Matt's swelling bruises and the cut across his forehead.

"What did you do?" Mello demanded and Matt flinched "Threw some porridge."

"Idiot!" Mello hissed, looking like he wanted to hit Matt over the head. Matt blinked, a splinting headache was forming and his vision was growing foggy. But he tried to focus on Mello's face "Mello, what are you doing here?"

Mello didn't answer, instead he stared down at Matt's leg that was twist at a strange angle. Matt gasped in pain as Mello poked it, although he barely touched it it sent a tremor of pain up Matt's leg.

"It looks sprained." Mello muttered with a sigh. Matt looked up at him and asked again "Mello, why are you here?"

Mello scowled "I wasn't going to let them kill you."

"How did you know?" Matt asked.

"I saw you leave and they exited after you moments later. So I just..." Mello looked away.

"I don't understand, I thought you hated me." Matt replied, looking confused.

"I hate everyone." Mello replied hotly.

Matt smiled then fell forward against Mello as the last of his strength drained from his body. Mello gasped. Matt muttered against his shoulder "I don't believe that."

Mello shifted and Matt thought for a minute he was going to push him away but instead Mello turned and pulled Matt onto his back. Mello slowly rose and Matt's head lolled against the back of Mello's neck, his face pressed into his blonde hear. Matt inhaled deeply, the straw colored hair smelled of rosemary with a hint of chocolate. The smell was intoxicatingly sweet and Matt smiled against Mello's neck

"Mello..." the name dribbled from Matt's lips as he slipped into unconsciousness.