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Saying Goodbye

The next few days were the worst.

Soda never left my side.

Darry felt so ashamed for hitting Pony. He rushed to the phone every time it rang, and he didn't sleep.

"Lizzie you have to eat." Soda put some food in front of me.

"I'm not hungry Soda."

He sat next to me at the table.

"I'm not asking Elizabeth. Eat." He said sternly, but I knew he was worried about me.

I took a few bites and he got up again to make Darry a plate.

The boys came over to the house every day. Sometimes they would stay the night just to keep Darry company. Dally was the only one to stay away. I didn't know if it was because Darry was mad at him or if he was just trying to avoid us. Soda slept near me on the floor. I told him he could go to his room, but he wouldn't.

After three days, Randy came to the house. It hurt to see him. He looked like he hadn't slept much either.

All the boys stood in a line and glared at him. He was brave to show up there.

"I…I just want Elizabeth to have this."

Darry took a piece of paper from him.

"I'm sorry…..I know it doesn't help….but I am." He turned around and walked away fast.

I was surprised that none of the boys went after him, but I guess we were all dealing with too much.

"What is it?" I walked up to him.

Darry sighed. "It's…..the obituary for Bob's funeral…." He looked at me. "It's tomorrow night."

I nodded and Soda took it from him. "I'll take you Lizzie."

I nodded again and turned to go inside the house. I needed to be alone.

The next day I woke up with Soda next to me on the bed. He looked at me.

"You were crying in your sleep last night…I thought it might help if I was closer."

I nodded. "I was thinking about Bob last night before I went to sleep…."

He got up to leave.

"Thank you Soda."

"I'm here for you Lizzie. We all are."

I nodded again as he left.

I got up and got into the shower. It was going to be a long day and I didn't know how I was going to get through it. My family didn't even come by to tell me when the funeral was. I knew they didn't want me there. I guess they never really wanted me anyway.

Tears came to my eyes. I tried to hide how I was feeling from Soda, Darry, and the boys. They were worried about Pony and Johnny. I was worried too. I wanted to understand what happened.

A knock came on the door.

"Lizzie breakfast is ready," Soda said.

I sighed and got out of the shower. I wasn't hungry, but I knew Soda wouldn't take that for an answer.

I dried off and got dressed. Soda already had me a plate on the table.

"Where is Dally?" Darry asked Two Bit.

"I haven't seen him. He has been laying low."

Darry sighed. "I know he knows where they are."

Two Bit shrugged his shoulders. Darry got up from the table angrily and went outside.

If Dally did know where they were, he wouldn't tell.

"Lizzie? Do you need anything from the store?" Soda asked me.

I shook my head. "I don't need anything soda."

He got up. "Two Bit is going to stick around today while I go get some groceries."

"Okay." I push my half eaten breakfast aside and get up. "I'll be in my room."

I heard Soda sigh as I walked away, but he didn't stop me. I knew he was worried about me. I just couldn't deal with all that has happened.

"I don't know how to help her." I heard Soda say.

"She needs time man."

I closed the door and lay on the bed.

After I heard Soda leave, I got up and snuck out the window. I needed to get away. I needed to talk to Dally.

It took me an hour to find him. He was in the back of a bar drinking.

"What the hell Dally?!" I shoved him off his bar stool and he landed on his feet. The beer he was holding fell and splashed against my cloths.

"Elizabeth what are you doing here?" He put the beer on the bar and grabbed my arm stirring me toward the exit.

"Get off of me." I jerked from him. "You are here getting drunk when you should be out there worried like the rest of us."

I slapped him and he caught my hand. "Stop this Liz. You shouldn't be here."

"You shouldn't be here." Tears came to my eyes. "You should be helping."

He sighed. "I am helping by staying away."

I shook my head. "You know where they are! Don't lie to me!"

He pulled me into the shadows outside of the bar. "Yes, but Darry can't know. If they are found, they will be put in jail."

"Are you sure they did it?" I needed to know.

"They did it Liz. They didn't want to, and Johnny is suffering with guilt."

Tears slid down my face. The little hope I had that maybe they were innocent was gone.

He hugged me and I let him.

"We need to get you out of here. This is not the place for you."

I let him guide me away from the bar and toward my house. "Dally, the boys need to know they are okay."

"I am going to see them tomorrow. Darry and the boys will know soon. Just give me time."

"Why have you been avoiding us?"

"Because I was afraid I would cave and tell Darry where they are."

I nodded and there was silence for a few minutes.

"Bob's funeral is tonight."

"I'm sorry Liz. He was a Soc, but he was your bother."

"He was mean. I know he was, but he was always there for me. Our parents…well they didn't like me around. They would have been happy with one child, Bob. He was a perfect son, and to them he could do no wrong. They let him do whatever he wanted. That was his downfall. They didn't care enough to be parents to him. They were always just trying to be his friend."

I wiped some tears away.

"Liz I wish I could make it better. I wish I could tell you that it didn't happen."

I nodded and he hugged me to him.

"You need to go home. Darry and Soda will be worried if they see you are gone. I'll walk you the rest of the way."

"Dally don't stay away. I…..I need you there. We need you there…."

"You don't need me Liz. Your brothers will take care of you."

I shook my head. "You are wrong Dally."

He walked me to the front door.

"Take care of yourself and I better not see you in a bar again."

He turned and walked away, back toward the bar.

I sighed and walked around the house to climb back into the window. A hand jerked me through the window.

"Where have you been?" Soda said as he moved me to stand in front of him. "Have you been drinking?" He looked at me sternly.

"No."

"Then why do you smell like alcohol?"

"I…beer spilt on me."

"You expect me to believe that?" He asked me again sternly.

"Yes Soda I do." I looked at him offended.

"Where were you?" I could see he was trying to contain his anger.

"I…I went to find Dally." I looked up at him. "He should be here. He should be helping."

"You snuck out on Tow Bit. He is out looking for you. You scared him half to death."

"I'm sorry Soda. I needed to know if Dally knew anything."

"Does he?" Soda asked me.

"No." I lied. "He said he was staying out of the way."

"Did his beer spill on you?"

I nodded.

"Where was he when you found him?"

"He…he was at the bar up the street."

Soda shook his head at me and closed his eyes angrily. "You went into a bar?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "You are grounded. No leaving this house unless we say and someone is with you."

I sat on my bed. "Okay Soda."

"You need to get ready for tonight." He started to walk out.

"Soda? Should I go to the funeral?"

He turned and looked at me. "He was your brother sweetie. He made mistakes, but he was just a kid. Your parents are the ones to blame. You don't have to go, but I think you may regret not going."

I nodded and tears came to my eyes. "He was a different person around me. I knew he hated you guys, but I didn't know he beat you up."

Soda sat down next to me. "I know. Elizabeth you have no blame in what happened."

He put an arm around me.

"I know it's all confusing for you. It's confusing for me too."

I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder.

"What I know is that Bob was your brother and he would want you to be there."

I whipped tears from my eyes. Soda turned and wiped them for me.

"It doesn't matter what your parents think Lizzie. You have the right to say goodbye."

I cried on his shoulder.

"I'll be with you through it all." He hugged me.

After Soda left, I got dressed in a black dress and black sandals. Bob told me once he liked this dress.

I walked out into the living room where Soda was waiting for me. He tried to dress up a little with a black dress shirt and black jeans.

"Are you ready," he asked me.

I nodded at him moving to the door.

We took Darry's truck to the funeral home on the other side of town. I knew that people would look down on the old truck and the greaser driving it, but this day wasn't about anything but Bob. It was about saying goodbye to my brother.

As I walked into funeral home, I could feel all eyes move to look at me and Soda.

I ignored them as I walked toward my brother's coffin. Soda put his hand on my back. It was a silent reminder that he was here with me.

I looked down at him, and tears fell from my eyes. My brother looked so peaceful. He looked carefree.

I took his hand.

"Bob, I wish I could have done something. I know the good man inside you. I'll never forget that part of you. I love you brother. I hope you are at peace now. I don't want to say goodbye brother, but I know I can't hold on to you now."

Soda rubbed my back as I cried.

"How dare you be here," I heard my mother's voice. I let go of his hand and turned in time to get slapped across the face.

"Hey!" Soda pushed me behind him.

"You get the hell out here. You and the scum you came here with!"

"You have no right to talk to her that way. She is his sister," Soda said.

"It's her fault! She is the reason my little boy died! It's because she decided to live with scum!"

"It's not her fault."

I had heard enough. I turned and ran for the exit. I didn't go to the truck. I just kept running.